I really hope I captured Stan's voice well.

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3 September

Right, I know what you're thinking. Why would a kid like me end up with something as faggy as a blog? Well, that's just it; I'm a fag. A homo. Queer. Gay, I'm gay.

And I'm going to say it before any of you can beat me to it. Although, to be frank, I'm hoping that "you" is really just some loser in his mom's basement who has nothing better to do than read the online journal of a sixteen-year-old closet homosexual, and not someone I actually know in real life.

Especially Kyle.

Kyle Broflovski. My best friend. My best friend since, like, freaking pre-K. The kind of friend that I can tell anything to. And you know Kyle. If he found out that I came out to some stupid blog before him, he'd freak.

Kyle is possessive. Not in a bad way, I don't think. Just in a nice way, in a way that means he likes being important to me. A high priority, number one in my life.

But that isn't the reason I broke up with Wendy! I didn't break up with her because of Kyle. Well, partially. I broke up with her for a lot of reasons. The first being that I don't like girls, obviously. Wendy was nice and all, but she wasn't… appealing. Not like Kyle.

Fuck, Kyle's adorable. He has a cute little glowing face with freckles and long eyelashes. And he's so skinny and pale… but not in a gross way. In a cute way. Like in a way that makes you want to take care of him, just instinctively, because he looks so, you know… so delicate. He even has those pink pouty lips that all those girls wear makeup to replicate.

Maybe I'm not gay. Maybe I like Kyle because he looks so much like a girl.

…Nope, just read that last paragraph again. I'm a flaming faggot.

Which is okay, I guess. It wouldn't be like I was the first kid at South Park to come out. Tweek outed himself and Craig a few months ago. It was kind of funny because he ended up on the floor twitching because of all the "pressure".

But Craig wasn't even mad at him for it. Tweek started apologizing profusely, or whatever, and Craig was just like, "It's okay, Tweek. It's okay," until Tweek had calmed down. Then they started making out, which lead me to realize how fucking bigoted kids around here really are.

They aren't as merciless as you'd expect kids from a redneck small Colorado town like South Park to be. They didn't like, scream obscenities at them or anything (save for Cartman, but that's to be expected), but the way they fucking talked was ridiculous. They acted like it was such a scandal.

Like, I'm totally not obsessed with my reputation. I mean, yeah, I care about what people think about me – who doesn't? – but I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just so people will like me. Truth be told, about ninety percent of the people I know are idiots.

But it isn't like I'm going to voluntarily shatter my standing either. What I'm about to tell you will all make sense in a minute, I promise.

Like, okay. I'm not a total retard, but my grades aren't the best. You know how it is. I'm normally too distracted to pay attention in class or study. But Kyle's brilliant, and he's bound to get into some super prestigious university two years from now. He sets high expectations for himself, and I know he wants to go to college with me. We're Super Best Friends, that's just how it is.

And that's why I have to get a football scholarship. I'm the quarterback of our school's football team. And I know Park County High isn't the biggest school around, but with this position and great recommendations I can probably pull some sort of acceptance into a good school.

If the hicks around here knew I was gay, I doubt they'd give me those recommendations. I doubt I'd get to go to school with Kyle. And the social ridicule wouldn't help much, I'm sure.

Kyle could handle it. He never cared much about the public. He isn't nearly as sensitive as I am. Despite his feminine exterior, Kyle is incredibly feisty. Whenever he gets worked up, his cheeks flush this delicious cherry hue; it's adorable.

I have a feeling that this journal is going to be more of me ranting about Kyle than anything else.

Well. School, Kyle, and everything in-between.

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Cheesy? Yes. Expect a lot of fluff. Expect a lot of a lot, I guess.

Well, it depends… do you think I should continue? Did you like it?

Tell me what you think!