A/N: Somehow, I forgot to post this one up here. -fails terribly-

This one was written for KHR Minibang Challenge 2009. Belated, I know. XD;; Either way, there you go, posting it here since I don't have anything to update at the moment. And this is the last fic I wrote for the KHR fandom.

On the story, this is a majorly Alternate Universe about Yamamoto's never been told past told from TYL!Yamamoto's POV. And it has nothing to do with the batshit insane and crazy Byakuran's plan to take over the universe. Fuh. Just enjoy the read and do review if you feel this story worth it. ;D

Disclaimer: Never own anything other than the storyline for this fic. I am not as crazy (and insane) as Amano. Almost the same, but nope, still no own.

In the bleak future that you're in now, sometimes you look back and wonder what made you the way you are.
How could all of this be happening? Is this all but just a dream?

~Prologue~

There were three important stages in Yamamoto Takeshi's life.

The first stage was when he was almost eight—the first time he saw the wonder of this sport called baseball.

The second stage was when he was almost fourteen—when he became a part of Tsuna's very realistic Mafia role playing game and when he inherited the Shigure Souen Ryuu from his father.

The last stage was when he was nineteen years old; Yamamoto killed someone with his own hands.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yamamoto looked down on Reborn's final resting place, a small memorial stone that marked one of the greatest Arcobaleno. There really wasn't anything being buried under the stone for there was nothing left of Reborn. The Tre-ni-Sette Radiation spread by the Millefiore had made sure that there would be nothing left, not even a strand of hair, of every Arcobaleno being exposed to the radiation. They all died a slow and painful death. How the Millefiore had the technology to achieve that was beyond Yamamoto's comprehension.

The Rain Guardian knelt down and traced his fingers on the golden letters forged on the marbled stone. 'Here lies the greatest hit-man of Vongola' it said. He laughed softly and sadly as he read it. How ironic and mocking it was, really. There was nothing-nothing buried six feet deep, and yet the inscription… The words Tsuna wrote… Yamamoto could just imagine Reborn's reaction.

The little guy would probably kicked Tsuna's chin or smacked his head and said, "Humph! Is this the only thing that you could come up with, No-Good Tsuna?"

Yamamoto let out a small chuckle. For all these years of knowing him, he thought that Reborn must have wanted something grander than this, something extravagant. But of course, this simple memorial stone was the only thing the Vongola could give to the Arcobaleno at a dangerous time like this.

And, this was the only thing Tsuna could give to his former home-tutor. Yamamoto knew that it took all of Tsuna's resolve to not cry, to keep his head high and act like the great Mafia Boss Reborn had always taught him to be when he ordered for those words to be forged on that small memorial stone.

Those words were just a lie. This so called grave was just a lie. It was a lie Tsuna forced himself to tell the others who didn't know what exactly happened to Reborn, like to Kyoko or Haru or Tsuna's mother.

A memorial stone was only—as its name implied—a memorial stone. The main purpose of it was so people like Bianchi, like Tsuna himself, like Dino and like Yamamoto himself would have some place to go if they wanted to grieve, or mourn, or just remembering the memories they have of the Arcobaleno.

It served also as the reminder to the Vongola and its other affiliated and allied families that the greatest hitman they had ever known in the Mafia world was gone, that the Millefiore would make sure he was not the last on their hit list and that the Vongola was not the strongest Mafia family in the underworld anymore.

Seven days had passed since the stone was built, since Yamamoto started his daily visit to Reborn's grave. He would just go there at the earliest hour in the morning without telling anyone and stood, knelt or sat in front of the stone for an hour or two remembering the things Reborn had taught him over the past ten years in silence.

Yamamoto put his sword just beside his feet so it would not hinder his movement, fixing his eyes on the sword that lay before him. This sword was not Shigure Kintoki. It was just a normal sword he got from Tsuna not long after he decided to destroy the Vongola Rings for some unknown reasons. When Yamamoto realized the sword could not synchronize well with any of the Rain Rings he had, no matter how high the purity of the rings were, Tsuna arranged for him to get a new sword.

Seeing this sword reminded the Rain Guardian of the first weapon he ever had, courtesy of Reborn. It was a baseball bat that could turn into a sword (it could be a telescope too); Yamamoto's bat, Reborn had called it. A sword disguised as a mere baseball bat, it was so meticulous of Reborn to give him something like that. He had made use of the knowledge that Yamamoto was a great baseball player.

"Baseball, huh…" Yamamoto mumbled slowly as he tore his eyes away from the sword. He lifted his right hand up from the sword hilt and looked at the calloused palm and fingers. His brows knitted and another sad smile was formed on his face.

The last time he had held a baseball bat was a couple of months ago, at the last match of the Major League. It was a hard decision to make. But he had to choose between living his childhood dream and fulfilling his responsibility as the Rain Guardian.

He chose the latter.

~The First Stage~

Yamamoto remembered vaguely the very first time he had seen baseball match and held a baseball bat.

He was eight years old, a common boy from a common family of three, living in a common neighborhood of Namimori and lived a really common life. His father, Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, was just a common sushi chef, but his ability to handle the knife was not a common one. His mother, Yamamoto Yukiko, was just a common housewife. They were just a normal family.

And just like a normal curious Japanese boy, young Yamamoto Takeshi fell in love at the first sight of baseball. He was mesmerized, entranced, mystified… No words could describe how elated he was the first time he saw that baseball player pitch the ball and when he heard the loud 'clunk!' as the steel bat collided with the ball.

It was Spring then…

--

The ball was thrown with such speed that he couldn't see the ball pass the man holding a bat. A loud 'strike!' was coming from the man who stood behind the heavily protected man crouching a few distance away from the batter.

Another ball was pitched. This time, it was not the loud shout of 'strike!' but a loud 'clunk!' was heard. The grip of his small hands on the fence was tightened and his eyes grew wider and wider. His mouth went agape. If it was a manga, there would probably be sparkles floating around his face right now.

He had seen baseball matches a couple of times on television (baseball was the national sport of Japan after all) while helping his parents in their sushi restaurant. But this was different, this was the first time he had seen it being played in front of him; real people, real sound, real… baseball.

Young Takeshi couldn't take his eyes off the people on the baseball field. He was completely, utterly mesmerized by the dynamics of those people running around in the baseball field. It was as if they were gliding through the air, dashing from one place to another, reaching out to the sky, and their expression when they reach their base or when they were able to stop the other team was just so contagious it made Takeshi smile widely together with them.

His grip on the fence was tightened once again when another ball was pitched and the next batter hit it with his steel bat. His heart skipped a beat when the ball collided with the bat and it went high and higher and higher to the clear afternoon sky; the batter had already dashed away leaving his bat. In just mere seconds, he could see dashes of whites and blacks.

The people gathered beside the baseball field shouted 'Home run!!' and Takeshi would never forget that triumphant smile on the batter's face as he stepped his foot on the home base.

"Takeshi!"

As if someone thrown a bucket of water on his head, Takeshi was pulled back to reality when he heard someone calling—shouting, more likely—his name. He tore his attention away from the baseball pitch and looked for whomever was calling him.

His eyes caught a glimpse of familiar dark hair and silhouette trying to pass through the small crowd of people gathered around the fence separating the baseball field and the outer field. A woman clad in a simple kimono emerged and he recognized her. It was his mother. His mother quickened her steps when their eyes met.

"Okaa-san? What are you doing here?" Takeshi asked her mother when she finally stood, panting a little bit, in front of him. Few strands of dark hair were obstructing her eyes and she flicked it away. One of her delicate eyebrows shot up when she heard Takeshi's question.

"You should ask yourself that question, young man!" She pulled Takeshi to an embrace after she said that.

Takeshi almost sighed in delight when his face was plastered to his mother's obi. He put his arms around his mother's waist and tightened the embrace. He always liked it when she embraced him. He could smell the faint smell of fish and rice mixed together with a soft sakura fragrance. His mother smelled like home.

His mother pulled him away and cupped his face with her hands; their identical eyes met and Takeshi blinked as he saw the sharp piercing gaze his mother gave him.

"I was watching baseball…"

He answered the unspoken question. Takeshi couldn't help but take his eyes away from his mother's gaze. Her expression was a mixture of relief, worry and anger. She was scowling, her brows knitted, her thin lips clenched tight and her eyes were darkened. Every time his mother wore that kind of expression, it felt like the air around him was sucked away.

Silence ensued between the mother and son. Her piercing eyes were still fixed on his face and Takeshi was still trying to avoid it. There was some commotion around the baseball field after the match was over, but Takeshi could not hear them because his mother's hands covered his ears.

"I was worried, Takeshi," she said softly, "You should have come back straight from school before going elsewhere."

"I know. I'm sorry." He pouted a bit and his fingers fidgeted with his bag's straps. Takeshi's eyes met his mother's once again. The anger was gone completely and he felt the air was coming back again.

"Next time, come back home first, okay?" A small and warm smile crept up to her face as his mother pat Takeshi's head and took his hand. She motioned him away from the baseball field. "Let's go back before your father calls the police. He was so worried when I left him to look for you."

Takeshi nodded and took a glance at the baseball field where the winning team cheered before reluctantly following his mother.

--

"Umm… Okaa-san?" Takeshi called out to his mother quietly as they walked hand in hand.

"Yes?" His mother halted her step and looked down to him. Her smile was bright and he couldn't help but smile along. It made him felt more confident with what he wanted to ask her. He had been thinking about this ever since they left the baseball field.

"I want to play baseball! Can I?"

Before she could answer the request, a boisterous loud voice was coming from behind them, calling his mother's name.

"Yukiko! Yukiko! Wait!"

Both of them looked back to the source of the voice, Takeshi couldn't help but cock his head to the side as he couldn't recognize the man who was walking fast towards them. When that man finally caught up to them, Takeshi eyed him curiously.

The man was so tall he was looming over Takeshi and he had to tilt his head up to see his face. The man has weird spiky light brown bordering to blonde hair and it looked like he hadn't shaved for a couple of days too. He was wearing an overall jumper and was chewing on a toothpick in his mouth.

"Iemitsu-san?" His mother then gave the man a curt nod. It seemed like his mother knew the man, Takeshi thought. He could feel his mother tighten her grip on his hand as the man nodded back. "I thought you weren't going to come back from whatever you're doing for another half a year?" She asked the man; she was smiling but the flicker of annoyance in her tone was very apparent.

"Change of schedule, there's something I need to tell Tsuyoshi," he said in low tone as he turned his eyes to both sides of the road, looking out for any unwanted eavesdropper. "And I need to know something about Shigu…"

"Please, Iemitsu-san!" His mother cut the man's sentence, her smile completely gone. "I've told you once before that our family doesn't want to have anything to do with that anymore!" Her voice was not as gentle as usual, it was sharp and cold.

Takeshi looked at his mother warily and confused at her sudden burst of anger. It was really rare for his mother to lose her composure like this. He had never seen her sounded so afraid and angry at the same time.

The grim look that man named Iemitsu gave to his mother made her unconsciously pulled Takeshi closer to her side. And that was when he looked down to the young boy. Takeshi blinked several times at him and cocked his head a little.

"Is this Takeshi?" The man asked as he crouched down so their eyes were on the same level. He reached out to Takeshi and patted his head. "You're a big boy now, aren't you? You look a lot like your father."

Before Takeshi could open his mouth to respond, his mother had pulled him behind her, out of Iemitsu's reach. She put her right hand over his shoulders protectively.

"Leave my son out of this," he heard his mother hissed to the man from behind her back, "You might have failed as a parent and husband for leaving your son and wife alone in this town every now and then without telling them anything. But you should never think that I or Tsuyoshi will involve our son in this matter. And I tell you this once again, Iemitsu-san: We don't want to be involved in…" she looked at Takeshi from the corner of her eyes, "…I don't want to be involved in whatever it is you're doing anymore."

She let out a short sigh before she took her hand away from Takeshi's shoulder and clasped both of her hands to her lap and bowed to the strange man. "Please let my family live a normal life…"

Takeshi's forehead furrowed deeply looking at his mother bowing to that man. He was completely confused with what was happening in front of him now. He could see the man was looking at his mother with a frown and his smile had gone.

"Yukiko… I…" The man paused for a few seconds before continuing his sentence; he sounded a bit tired when he finally spoke again, "Please, Yukiko. Don't make things more difficult for me."

"I am not, Iemitsu-san. It is I who is supposed to be saying that. Please don't make our lives more difficult with matters that aren't of our concern."

"I only want to warn your husband about…"

"Then I will take you to him, if it really is important." Once again she cut the man's sentence. "I don't want to talk about this matter in front of my son."

As soon as she said that, she turned away from that man and smiled to her son. "Let's go home, Takeshi."

Takeshi nodded but couldn't hide his confusion. He didn't understand anything about what his mother and the man were both talking about. He could feel his mother's palm sweating when she took his hand again and resumed their walk back home, the strange man following suit. The five minutes walk was spent in silence and he couldn't stop throwing a curious glance over his shoulder to the man following them. And every time he looked back, the Iemitsu man would smile at him and then his mother would tug his hand to walk faster.

When they finally reached the road leading to Takesushi, Takeshi could see his father standing in front of the restaurant, tapping his feet, his face was scrunched up, hands folded over his chest and his right hand tapping his upper left arm. It looked like his parents closed the restaurant earlier than usual to look for him.

"Oyaji!" Takeshi let go of his mother's hand and ran towards his father's direction. He tackled his father into a hug and chuckled when his father let out a small 'Oof!'.

"Now, there you are, young man!" His father ruffled his hair and sighed in relief. "Where have you been?"

"I was watching a baseball match, Oyaji! It was superb!" Takeshi explained animatedly, his arms flailing all over. "Ne, ne, Oyaji! Can I play baseball too?" He looked up to his father with wide gleaming eyes. His father couldn't help but grin and ruffle his head again.

"Of course, Takeshi! Now, where's your mother?"

At the mention of his mother, Takeshi turned his head back to where he left his mother. Sheo was walking toward them with her warm smile. "There!" He pointed to her direction. "And someone is looking for you, Oyaji."

His father's grin faded the moment he saw the man walking behind her. He stood still, his hands on Takeshi's shoulders and didn't take his eyes off the man until his mother reached them. "He wants to talk to you, dear," she said to his father.

Takeshi could feel the atmosphere around him change drastically.

"Take him upstairs, Yukiko," his father pushed him towards his mother lightly. "Let's talk inside, Iemitsu."

His mother motioned him to go inside the restaurant and took him upstairs to the second floor of the restaurant where his room was. Takeshi eyed his father and the strange man curiously before ascending the stairs.

"Don't pay attention to him, Takeshi." His mother said suddenly when they reach the top of stairs. She opened the door to his room and then turned around to face him. She was smiling her usual smile again, but Takeshi could still feel her restlessness and he was worried.

"Now, you said something about wanting to play baseball?"

Takeshi's face brightened as soon as the topic was changed into baseball and he dismissed any other confusing matters aside from his mind.

--

The fact that his parents' behavior changed drastically around him after that day was missed completely by Takeshi because he had been too preoccupied with his new hobby—passion if one would notice his eagerness—baseball. He didn't really notice that his parents were spending more time talking in hushed voices, their expression were that of nervousness. Sometimes he would catch them talking about something that completely out of his understanding; something about sword technique, 'Bongore' or something like that, and a lot of other confusing things.

It was only when he noticed his mother had rarely given him her warm smile anymore that he thought something was wrong. When he asked his mother what happened to her, she smiled to him—not her usual megawatt smile, it's a somber and sad one—and said nothing was wrong and he should practice his baseball harder. Takeshi nodded happily and told his mother he was going to be a professional baseball player and make her proud.

There was only one thing that was in his head nowadays, baseball. The young boy would practice everyday after school hours. Even though he was still young and Namimori Elementary School's baseball team didn't have any spot for an eight year old like him, Takeshi had shown everyone that he was serious about learning baseball. He had memorized all of the basic rules of baseball only two days after he was able to convince the coach joined the team, even only as a substitute player. He still helped his parents in their sushi restaurant even though every time he tried to, his mother or father would just shove him upstairs and tell him to get some rest instead.

Life was going well and everything seemed normal and peaceful. But little did young Takeshi know that this was just temporary.

A week or so after his first time watching baseball match, Takeshi swung his bat as he walked slowly back home from his daily practice. It was almost six in the afternoon already and the sky's color was gradually changed to dark orange and then to dark grey. He could see some dark clouds gathering and there was a low rumble of thunder coming from far away. It was going to rain soon and he quickened his walk.

When he turned around the corner of the road leading to his house, he was confused when he saw a lot of people gathered around it.

"I heard it was a burglar-"

"-But they used a sword!"

"There's blood all over the place!"

"She was a fine woman… Poor Takeshi…"

"Were there any witness?"

Takeshi knitted his brows as he heard the low murmurs. "What are they talking about?" he muttered warily. When the people noticed him, they all had a saddened expression and pity on their face.

"Takeshi-kun…" A man Takeshi noticed as a regular in their restaurant stopped him when he wanted to open the door to the restaurant, "I think you shouldn't go in just yet."

"Why? What happened?" He looked around him and saw the people shift uncomfortably and try to avoid his eyes. And then the door was opened; his father stepped out and Takeshi's eyes went wide. His father's front was covered in splatters of blood. There was too much blood for it to come from cutting fish, Takeshi thought.

"Oyaji… What happened to you?!"

His father's eyes met with his. The grim look on his face and the way he clenched his jaw scared Takeshi. Something was undoubtedly wrong here and he was so afraid of knowing what it was.

"Oyaji…" Takeshi reached out to his father's arm. His father clasped his hands—there was blood—and pulled him closer. He could see the tears slowly falling from his father's eyes.

The words coming out of his father's mouth were, "Your mother… died."

A drizzle of water fell to Takeshi's cheek and rain started to fall from the heavens.

--

Everything seemed to just go in a blur after that. Takeshi couldn't really recall what happened after he stormed inside the restaurant and he saw the red, his mother's lifeless body (she was slumped on the floor, her sky blue kimono was tainted in red), and his father's tears. His memory was too hazy but he remembered a couple of things. He could remember he was crying in his father's embrace after that. He remembered that bit about almost half of the neighborhood coming to see what had happened. He thought someone was taking care of him when his father prepared the funeral for his mother. He assumed everything was just a nightmare every time he woke up abruptly in the middle of the night, only to realize that it was not when he noticed he was not sleeping in his own room. He cried himself to sleep again after that.

It was only when he sat beside his father, dressed in black suit, bowing and saying 'Thank you' every now and then to the people came to pay their last respect to his mother that he finally caught on with reality; his mother was dead. And he would cry again, again and again. He didn't stop crying even when his father pulled him to his side and pat his head.

"There, there, Takeshi. It'll be alright. Everything will be alright," his father said soothingly to him, "Your mother wouldn't be happy if she sees you like this, my boy."

His cries were muffled when he tightened his hold on his father's waist. He just couldn't stop the tears and his chest was hurting as his father told him that.

"Takeshi… Pl…" His father didn't finish his sentence and he could feel his body was tensing. "What are you doing here? I thought you're back in Italy already."

"Paying my respect to Yukiko, Tsuyoshi. I'm really, really sorry for your loss. If only I've warned you more in details, this would never happen."

Takeshi perked up when he heard the voice. He let go of his father and turned around to see the strange man he met some ten days ago whose name he didn't really remember.

"…You shouldn't blame yourself. Everything has happened and it's of no use for us to regret over things that have passed," his father said with a monotonous tone.

The man was sighing deeply and then his eyes met Takeshi's. His frown deepened when he saw the tears flowing endlessly from the boy's eyes. He patted Takeshi's head and smiled reassuringly to him.

"Cry, young one, cry to your heart content. But after that you should smile again, okay? You have the same bright smile as your mother. She would never want that smile to disappear from your face and would never want to see you sad every time, wouldn't she?"

Takeshi blinked and wiped the tears with his sleeve. "But Okaa-san is not here anymore… I miss her…" he said in between his sniffles.

"You can't see her anymore but she's still going to look after you, you know. And you shouldn't make your father more worried that this, right?"

He looked up to his father for a moment and then back to facing the spiky haired man. He nodded and tried so hard to stop his tears. Takeshi smiled weakly when the man ruffled his hair. His smile wasn't a bright one, but it was still a smile. And that was all Takeshi needed to bring the smile back on his father's face.

He just wished he could see his mother's smile again too…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yamamoto smiled weakly at the memory.

Seeing anything that was related to death—in this case, Reborn's grave—always reminded the Rain Guardian of the day he started to put on that smiley mask on his face. He didn't really remember why he had to put on that fake smile. He could only remember vaguely about someone telling him that he should stop crying and smile again, for his father's sake.

Ever since that day, Yamamoto had always been able to give his best smile to everyone at any circumstances. It was started off as a fake smile, so his father wouldn't worry. But then, he would sometimes hide in his room's closet, away from his father's eyes, to cry. There's only so much an eight year old kid could do to hide his loss after all.

As years gone by, the more he wore that fake smile, the more he wondered if he would ever smile genuinely again. Sometimes he would wonder whether the smile he wore at the time was a real smile or just a fake. Whether he was lying or not when he would answer 'I'm okay' every time his father asked him how he was doing. He could not differentiate them anymore.

But well, he had always been the positive one; always think of the best in everything. So he came to one conclusion: every smile he gave was genuine. Period.

It took a couple of years from when he was eight until he was thirteen for Yamamoto to realize he was wrong all along.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

~The Second Stage~

He would sometimes chuckle when he was reminded of his middle school days. It was eventful and he daresay that he had never felt so happy in his entire life before. Many things have changed in his life since he became close friends with Tsuna and Gokudera.

For one, he realized that being friends with Tsuna and Gokudera was the greatest thing ever that happened in his life. He had never smiled so genuinely with any of his friends before. It made him realize that he had been lying to himself all those years.

And then, when he would think about it again nowadays, being friends with Tsuna and Gokudera and Reborn, was the most important point in his life. He was unconsciously being drawn into the Mafia world, thinking that it was just a mafia role playing game, by Reborn, the most cunning person he had ever known in his life.

He was given a weapon by the little guy, a baseball bat that could turn into a sword. He had used the sword to help Tsuna in that inter-school mafia role play against the Kokuyo. He had also used it to protect his friends when they were attacked by a very dangerous swordsman, but he was defeated quiet effortlessly by said man. His inability to protect his friends and put up a good fight against the silver-haired swordsman hurt his pride so much.

Thus why, when Tsuna said that the man who defeated him would come back to get the Vongola Ring of Rain entrusted to his hands, Yamamoto agreed to take the ring and fight for the responsibility of being Vongola Rain Guardian, without really understanding the meaning of it. He wanted to prove that he was not a loser who would run away when facing a strong opponent.

So, he turned to the man he knew could teach him more about swordsmanship; his father.

--

"Hey, Oyaji. Will you teach me kendo?"

His father stopped chopping and the shock was so apparent on his face.

"Kendo, Takeshi?"

Yamamoto slid off his bag to the chair in front of his father's working counter and nodded. "Yep! Kendo."

"Why the sudden interest in kendo? Bored with baseball now?" his father asked with serious tone. He wiped his chef knife with a cloth and put it away, then staring straight to the younger Yamamoto's eyes.

"What? No! Of course not!" Yamamoto waved his right hand dismissively, "Baseball will forever be my passion, Oyaji. I want to learn kendo because I want to defeat a really strong opponent."

His father quirked an eyebrow at that. "Oh? A strong opponent you say? You're competing in a kendo tournament or something?"

He shrugged his shoulders and grinned widely. "Something like that. So?"

A grin was formed on the Takesushi owner's face. He reached out his hand to ruffle his son's hair. "You're a big boy now, Takeshi. Oyaji will definitely teach you kendo."

"Cool! Can we start right away? I'm in bit of a hurry here."

"Only when you're ready, my boy." His father slipped his apron off and walked away to the back kitchen. He turned to face his son again. "Be prepared because Oyaji will not go easy on you."

Yamamoto could feel his blood was rushing with excitement and grinned wider. He would defeat that long haired swordsman with his father's help!

--

Yamamoto was taken aback by his father's fierceness when they first started their kendo lesson. He only knew from hearing the old people in the neighborhood speak about how his father had a great skill in kendo, and that he used to share his skills with the young kids lived around Takesushi, to teach them discipline. He never knew that his father was actually a full-fledged swordsman who was a master of one particularly ancient sword style; Shigure Souen Ryuu.

And this time when his father showed him all the eight stances of the sword style, Yamamoto couldn't help but feel so amazed and proud of his father.

"And that, Takeshi, is the last form; Shinotsuku Ame," his father said as he stood straight from after slashing the wooden target using the sword, "Do you remember all of it?"

Yamamoto blinked a couple of times before nodding, "More or less."

"Then you're on your own now," his father sheathed his sword and started to walk away.

"What? That's it? Only once? Oyaji, could you show me once again?"

"Shigure Souen Ryuu, my boy, is a sword style meant for killing. It's traditionally passed down from the master by only showing it once to the next generation," his father turned to face him, his face was full with pride as he looked at the sword in his hands. "This sword style is completely flawless, strongest and invincible because of that tradition. You become the strongest and worthy of mastering the sword style when you are able to defeat all boundaries in any kinds of forms whether it's your enemy or yourself. It will be either you master it completely on your own or you can't master it at all."

Yamamoto's brows furrowed deeply and he gripped the shinai in his hands tightly.

"I believe you can master it, Takeshi. Remember what you're doing this for."

He looked at his father's back as he retreated from the dojo. His father's sentence made him think about the whole thing all over again.

What he's doing this for? For defeating Squalo?

Who he's doing this for? For Tsuna and the others?

Why he's even bother to learn all of this when he could just play baseball? Because it's worth it, his mind said. He's doing it for his pride, for his friends, for his father…

He gritted his teeth and get ready to start his training again. He had memorized all eight forms of Shigure Souen Ryuu and there were still eight days left until the dangerous man from before come back to take this strange ring he had. It would be a gamble, but Yamamoto dared to bet on everything that he would definitely able to master the Shigure Souen Ryuu before that swordsman came.

--

Scared, surprised, shocked, and excited, there were all the emotions Yamamoto was feeling when the Varia appeared way earlier than they had thought. He trained every day when there was no battle for the ring (because the battle was held at night) and train harder when his turn still hadn't come yet.

He had able to master almost all eight forms of Shigure Souen Ryuu and was still trying to perfect it. When he was training by himself, sometimes the little guy would come and monitor his training, like today. The Storm Ring battle was schedule that night and Yamamoto thought that Reborn must have gone to see how Gokudera was doing. But the little hitman visited him instead. He perched on one of the trees around the dojo's backyard where Yamamoto was practicing his swings.

"Yamamoto." Reborn squeaky voice called him suddenly. Yamamoto didn't stop his swing and glanced at the corner of his eyes to where Tsuna's home tutor was.

"Yes, little guy?"

"Have you mastered the Shigure Souen Ryuu?"

"Almost. I already have a good grasp on it," he answered confidently, "And my father said that I'm getting better. In fact, today he was telling me the origin of the Eight Stance, Shinotsuku Ame. He said that it was created when he was protecting a good friend of his. He didn't tell me who this friend is though."

Reborn smirked and tilted his fedora, "Do you know why you're chosen as one of Tsuna's Guardians?"

"Huh?" Yamamoto cocked his head to the said and an eyebrow shot up, "Guardians? Oh! It's about this ring, right?" he pulled out the half Vongola Ring of Rain from his pocket. Reborn nodded and pushed his fedora a bit higher so he could see Yamamoto.

"Well?"

Yamamoto chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know? All I know is that I have to win when the battle comes, so those dangerous people from the Varia won't hurt Tsuna, Gokudera, Lambo or Ryohei again."

Once again, Reborn smirked and then he jumped off the tree branch to sit on Yamamoto's shoulder. "Good. That's the answer I want to hear from you," the little guy said as he patted Yamamoto's head, "You are the perfect Rain Guardian for Tsuna, Yamamoto. And your ability to grasp on Shigure Souen Ryuu even though you've only seen it once proved that you are a natural born killer."

"What? Natural born killer?" Yamamoto looked at Reborn with incredulous looks. He didn't respond for a few moments before suddenly started to laugh. "Ahahaha! What is that? A status in the mafia game?"

Reborn let out a small sigh before jumping off his shoulder and waved to him. "I'll see you later Yamamoto."

Yamamoto waved back with a cheerful grin. When he couldn't see Reborn's fedora, his grin faded and was replaced by a deep frown. He held up the shinai on his right hand. His hand was calloused from both baseball practice and sword practice.

"Natural born killer… huh."

--

It was finally decided that the next battle after the Storm was the Rain battle. Yamamoto was excited but still couldn't get his mind from repeating Dino's words.

'Squalo is a man who has already vanquished many styles of sword. If you rely on a particular style, you have no chance of winning. It is only possible to defeat him by surpassing any sword style.'

This was the first time he felt his confidence for Shigure Souen Ryuu flickered a bit. All this time he always thought that he would definitely able to defeat Squalo using the sword style, because his father had said that Shigure Souen Ryuu was completely flawless, strongest and invincible with utmost pride. Even though his father sounded a bit biased, Yamamoto believed him.

When his father gave him Shigure Kintoki, he could only wonder whether Shigure Souen Ryuu would work against Squalo. His father was beyond angry when he had said the enemy he was facing could only be defeated by surpassing style.

"The Shigure Souen Ryuu is completely flawless, strongest and invincible, Takeshi! There's nothing that could surpass it! Keep that in mind!"

Yamamoto couldn't help but trying his best to think the same as his father. He couldn't let Dino's warning eat away at his resolve and he knew that he shouldn't let his fear take over his confidence. His father was right. And he held on to what his father had told him, that the Shigure Souen Ryuu was completely flawless, strongest and invincible. He believed in his father and he was sure he was going to win this battle.

This belief and his resolve to fight for his friends were all he had when he stepped into Namimori-chuu's area, waiting for the time of his battle to come.

Yes, he was going to win no matter what; for the sake of his friends… and his pride as Shigure Souen Ryuu's successor.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The sword style that was unrivaled, flawless, and invincible; the Shigure Souen Ryuu.

Yamamoto remembered how his father always recited that sentence when he first taught him the style. A sword style meant for killing, his father had added back then. He was taken aback when he first heard it. But he was fourteen, and young, and naïve, and oblivious, and still didn't know how ugly, how real the mafia world was. So he didn't think about it much.

He had thought that it was a game; the Mafia was just a very realistic role playing game, even after he won in the battle against Squalo for the Vongola Ring of Rain. He had thought the little guy must be joking with him when he said Yamamoto was a natural born killer.

Again and again Yamamoto realized that he was just too afraid with reality, which he was hiding from with his smile, that he had been to naïve, only after the reality was being shoved right to his smiling face.

~The Third Stage~

Rain was pouring down heavily that day. The bone chilling cold rainwater was crystal clear when it fell from the sky but as soon as it hit the earth, it was tainted red.

He would never forget it.

He could still remember the day, the date, the time, the place and even how the air had felt around him. He could still remember the worried expression coming from his two best friends when they saw him smiling. He could still remember how he had seen, imagined his mother's smile as he danced—the dance of death—in the middle of the rain.

It's the day he stained his Shigure Kintoki with blood—a dead man's blood—for the sake of protecting his friends. But was it really?

It was the day he finally learned—and accepted—fully that the mafia game he thought Tsuna and the rest were playing, wasn't really a game at all.

--

Yamamoto broke out of his daze when a loud yelp was heard from the plane's corridor. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and turned to the front and the back of the alleyway to look for the source of disturbance.

"Gah! What the hell are you doing that for, you stupid cat!"

"Nyaoo…"

"Hahiiiek! Gokudera-san! What are you doing to Uri-chan?!"

"Shut up, stupid woman! This cat bit my ear!"

"But you didn't need to strangle him! It's called animal abuse, you know."

"As if this stupid thing could be called real animal…"

"What were you saying, Gokudera-san?"

"Nothing! And stop yelling at me! Who the fuck was the one who told you to sit here, anyway? You're so annoying! Tch!"

"Keep talking and I'll bite you to death."

Yamamoto chuckled lightly as he heard Gokudera and Haru continued their banter silently after sleepy Hibari threatened them with his tonfa, with Uri meow-ing every now and then. He really should have told Tsuna to never let Gokudera and Haru sit together and just let Hibari have his own private jet. They should avoid any potential disaster after all if they want to arrive safely to their destination.

He yawned widely and stretched his arms, trying to fight back the urge to sleep again. The jetlag was getting into him slowly as they were getting closer to Japan. The Vongola private jet was taking them back from Italy where they had spent a week in Vongola's main headquarter (Ryohei had told his sister and Haru that they won a holiday trip to Italy, and both girls had taken Lambo and I-pin to a shopping spree during their trip there) to meet the Ninth and the rest of the Famiglia and also to prepare Tsuna because he was going to take over the Ninth once he reached twenty years of age.

It was bit intimidating, really, being surrounded by men in shades and black suits. He already got used to seeing Dino's men back in Namimori when he would come to pay Tsuna a visit. But that was when Yamamoto still thought they were just playing a very realistic mafia role playing game. He had got an idea that it wasn't really a game at all since the Ring Scramble battle against the Varia some five years ago, but he kept telling himself it wasn't possible. There was no possible way that Tsuna was the next Boss to the most powerful Mafia Family, that Dino was the Boss of another great Mafia Family, that Reborn was not a mere baby, that everything about the Mafia was real.

That was why he kept on being the oblivious baseball jock he had always been. Gokudera had always mocked him for being stupid. Tsuna had always tried to explain to him that 'it was not a game, Yamamoto. Everything is not a game…'. The little guy had always told him he was indeed a natural born killer; he cringed whenever he heard Reborn said that to him. Even after facing countless of assassination attempts for Tsuna's life, the nineteen year old just shrugged it off as just an upgrade of their Mafia game.

This time, it was different. Now that he had finally seen the Vongola main headquarter, seeing the many real mafia in the world (the Ninth had thrown a small party where the representatives of all the affiliated and allied families to Vongola had come to see the next Tenth Boss of Vongola and his Guardians), being squinted and observed by many foreigners, not understand even one bit of their speech and only had Gokudera as their translator, and hearing the Ninth himself tell him , 'You are deceiving yourself, Rain Guardian. You've been hiding behind your smile for too long a time already', he thought that perhaps this whole mafia thing wasn't really a game after all. It was just too surreal now that he had seen all of this.

The Ninth words confused him though. And his next words after saying that confused Yamamoto even more. 'You are still too pure to be in this dirty world, Yamamoto Takeshi. Your hands are still clean from sins. And yet you have the Shigure Souen Ryuu and Shigure Kintoki. You've been misusing your sword, young one. Are you sure you fit to be Tsuna's Guardian?' the Ninth had told him. Yamamoto couldn't speak a word because he didn't understand what his sword and Shigure Souen Ryuu had something to do with him being the Rain Guardian.

Yamamoto looked at the tightly wrapped shinai lying on the seat beside him. He took it and furrowed his brows, trying to form some logical understanding to the Ninth's words. He flicked the shinai and it changed into steel sword. The small swallow carved on the end of the hilt glinted when he tilted the sword for a good look over.

"What's wrong, Yamamoto? Is there something wrong with your sword?"

He perked up and saw Tsuna leaning over the back of his seat to see what he was doing. He blinked a couple of times before grinning sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

"Nope! Nothing is wrong, Tsuna," he said cheerfully, "Did Gokudera and Haru's banter wake you up?" Yamamoto asked when Tsuna tried to cover up his yawn.

Tsuna creased his forehead and nodded. His eyes went over the whole place before stopping at where Gokudera and Haru were seated. Yamamoto could hear Gokudera hiss 'What the fuck are you doing sleeping on my shoulder, stupid woman?', obviously trying to sound angry but not loud enough to wake Hibari up.

Tsuna was sighing and face palmed. "I should have never put them together."

Yamamoto chuckled lightly and then put his sword back on the seat. "You better sleep more, Tsuna. There's still three hours before we arrive anyway."

"Yeah, I think I will. If only I can stop dreaming about Reborn and his new training regime," Tsuna sighed again and glanced over the seat beside him where Yamamoto was sure Reborn was sleeping peacefully. "You should sleep too, Yamamoto. You have a baseball match with the university team tomorrow, right?"

Tsuna yawned again and waved to Yamamoto before turning to sit again.

"Hey, Tsuna!" Yamamoto called suddenly.

"Yes?"

"Am I fit to be your Guardian?"

Tsuna's brows creased at the question. "What's with the question?"

"Just… I just want to know." Yamamoto shifted his eyes to the side before looking at Tsuna again. "Am I fit to be Vongola's Rain Guardian?" he repeated his question again.

"Well, if you weren't, then you wouldn't be here, Yamamoto," Tsuna carefully threaded his words, "And you're my best friend. Who else fit enough to be my Guardian if it wasn't my best friend?"

"Hibari? Mukuro?"

Tsuna groaned and buried his face in his palm again. "Well, those two are special cases," he said in between his fingers, "I don't even know why Reborn and my dad had chosen them back then. But I do think of them as my friends. They're part of the family now after all." He looked up as if trying to remember something. "Come to think of it, I need to find Chrome. She's been missing for too long already. Hmm… Perhaps I should talk with the Ninth about freeing Mukuro," he mumbled silently.

Yamamoto contemplated for a moment. "What about Lambo? Isn't he still too young?"

"I will always regret the fact that he's one of my Guardians, Yamamoto. Not because he's not fit to be one but because he's still a child. A child shouldn't be in this dirty world to begin with." His eyes went over where Lambo sat beside I-pin. Both ten year olds were sleeping peacefully side by side. "Just because they've been in the mafia business since they were infants doesn't mean they should spend their entire life dirtying their hands."

Yamamoto's heart skipped a beat at Tsuna's last sentence. "Dirtying their hands?"

Tsuna's eyes were back to him again, an eyebrow shot high up. He looked at Yamamoto uncomfortably. He took a long breath and just opening his mouth to answer when Reborn suddenly jumped and kicked his head.

"The mafia is not a game, Yamamoto. You know that now, right?" Reborn said as he nonchalantly sat on Tsuna's shoulder (Tsuna grunted about 'things never changed' as he massaged his head). Yamamoto nodded uncertainly. "The mafia isn't all about men in shades and sleek suit and polished shoes. Yes, we protect those in needs of our help. We treat them as our family. But it's not all happy and merry kind of world. It's a 'the strong lives and the weak dies' kind of world."

When Yamamoto still looked at both Reborn and Tsuna with confused face, Reborn tilted his fedora and nudged Tsuna's cheek. "You're the Boss, No-Good Tsuna."

"Do I have to?" Reborn answered his question with another kick to his head. "Ow! You don't need to do that every time! I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Then prove it! A Boss should guide his men when they're in need."

Tsuna let out a long sigh. He looked very uncomfortable and hesitantly straightened himself to face Yamamoto. "You kill or be killed, Yamamoto."

Silence hung between them for a long moment before Reborn jumped off Tsuna's shoulder and said that he needed his sleep again. Tsuna looked at Yamamoto worriedly and sat right back to his seat after Reborn kicked him again and told him to leave Yamamoto alone for now.

Yamamoto couldn't think and just wondered why his heart had almost stop beating when he heard Tsuna's last sentence.

--

When the Vongola private jet finally landed, it was no surprise when Hibari immediately took off by himself, ignoring the car ride offer. He seemed so determined to get back to his beloved Namimori as soon as possible, without having to mingle himself with those weak herbivores. The others had sighed in relief at that; no one seemed to feel sad of his departure.

The women, Bianchi, Kyoko and Haru had already occupied one of the two cars specially prepared for them with their enormous shopping bags and luggage. The two ten year olds had already been forcefully stuffed inside the car too. Reborn was somehow had been held captive by Bianchi so that left Tsuna, Gokudera, Yamamoto and Ryohei in the second car…

"I WILL RUN TO NAMIMORI TO BUILD UP MY STAMINA TO THE EXTREME!!"

..or maybe not. Yamamoto laughed as Ryohei dashed out of their sight. He got into the car where Gokudera had already grumbling to Tsuna about his relief of being able to rid Haru off his sight.

"Seriously! That woman is just so annoying! Just why would you take her with us to Italy, Tenth? She's useless anyway! And not to mention, so stupidly annoying. Tch!"

"Well, it's hard to make up another lie of Sumo Tournament to Kyoko-chan, as Ryohei-nii said to me. So we had to come up with this winning a holiday trip thing and take Kyoko and Haru with us. They didn't even flinch an eyebrow, right?"

Yamamoto leaned on the car's window, palm supporting his chin, and eyes gazing up to the sky as the car skidded off to the main road. He didn't really pay attention to what Tsuna and Gokudera were talking about and just looking at how the sky turned grayer the closer they got to Namimori.

"Hey, Yamamoto. Are you alright?" Tsuna asked him suddenly. He turned his head and saw Tsuna's worried face along with Gokudera's confused one. "Are you still thinking about that matter?"

Yamamoto sighed shortly and shook his head. He was smiling, the fake smile he knew all too well. "I'm okay, Tsuna. Don't worry."

Tsuna's creased brows clearly told Yamamoto that his best friend didn't believe his answer. Gokudera looked like he wanted to open his mouth and say something but Tsuna beat him to it.

"It's a common thing in the Mafia world, Yamamoto. But you know I will try my best to avoid it and it will only be the last option. You don't need to kill if you don't want to."

Comprehension dawned upon Gokudera's face and it immediately changed into that of irritation. Tsuna held up his hand to him before the Storm Guardian started to bash Yamamoto. His light brown eyes fixed on Yamamoto's, awaiting his response.

Yamamoto was bewildered by Tsuna's words. Was this really Tsuna? The same Tsuna who was known as No-Good Tsuna back in middle school? Five years ago Yamamoto would think that something had possessed Tsuna. But he really shouldn't be surprised by it because he knew how strict a tutor the little guy was. And Tsuna had already known that the mafia thing was real from the beginning so he should know much about it already.

"The Ninth said my hands are still clean of sins. And that I don't fit to be your Guardian because of it." Yamamoto quietly said. He looked at both of his hands and then to the sword lying on his lap. He could feel, rather than seeing, Tsuna's frown deepened. Gokudera was grunting and huffing impatiently at the other side of the car.

'You've been misusing your sword, young one.'

'Shigure Souen Ryuu is a sword style meant for killing, son.'

Yamamoto gripped his sword tightly as the Ninth's words and his father's collided in his mind. "I should meet my father," he told Tsuna suddenly, "Let me off here. I'll walk by myself."

They already reached the outskirt of Namimori anyway, and the sushi restaurant wasn't really that far. He told the man in black suit that drove the car to drop him off near Namimori's baseball pitch. He stepped out of the car ignoring Tsuna's worried calls.

"It's going to rain soon, Yamamoto! The car can take you to your home!"

It seemed that Yamamoto couldn't hear Tsuna's voice anymore. He didn't even realize his two friends have followed him out of the car too. His head was full with too many things and he only had one goal right now. He was intent on getting the answers to his question as soon as possible and he hoped his father could fill him in. Taking someone's life shouldn't be easily justified like that. Even though it was the mafia, killing was not right. Even though Tsuna said he would try his best to avoid it, Yamamoto knew that it was unavoidable.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Gokudera finally lost his composure and yelled at his back. "Get back here, you idiot!"

"Yamamoto!" Tsuna called out and sounded out of his breath from trying to keep up with Yamamoto's long strides.

A loud rumble of thunder was heard and the sky turned darker as Yamamoto started to run, his hands gripped his sword tightly. He could hear Namimori-chuu's anthem ringtone from behind his back. It must be Gokudera's phone and the ringtone meant that the call was from Kusakabe who called them on behalf of Hibari (Gokudera had set his phone so the ringtone was Nami-chuu's anthem only when it was Hibari's calls, he could bash the Cloud Guardian instead of saying 'hello').

"Fuck! Just what the hell did that bastard want now? Hello?"

Another thunder rumbled and then slowly, the drizzle of water started to fall.

"What? What do you mean by that, Kusakabe?" Gokudera halted his chase and Yamamoto could hear him cursing before continuing his chase. "Boss! We should get back to the car right now! It's dangerous!"

The rain had started to pour by now and his clothes started to feel too heavy on his skin. But Yamamoto didn't show any sign of looking for any shelter; instead, he quickened his steps. The two sets of feet had stopped behind him and he barely could make out what his two friends were talking about.

"There's an assassin nearby, Tenth! Hibari found a suspicious person lingering around the neighborhood and managed to capture him. It looks like he's a hitman sent by an enemy family. He's not alone."

And then suddenly Tsuna let out a loud yelp and Gokudera cursed violently. Yamamoto stopped in his tracks and turned around to see what happened. He was fifteen meters away from where Tsuna sat on the ground and was cradling his right arm and Gokudera had stood in front of him, trying to cover his boss from the man in suit a few feet away from them. Yamamoto's eyes caught a glint of steel from the unknown man and then to the trail of red water pooling on Tsuna's feet. Blood.

Tsuna… Blood… Assassin…

With a quick dash, Yamamoto slid his sword out and ran to where the assassin was and the back of Shigure Kintoki collided with another sword with a loud 'clang!'. His light brown eyes met with a pair of dark ones. The grin on the man's face made his blood boiled even more. This man had attacked Tsuna, he had hurt Tsuna, he planned to kill his friend.

"Which family sends you, bastard?!" Gokudera yelled at the assassin. The red flame flickering on his right hand showed that he already let Uri out of its box and the animal box weapon was hissing dangerously. Tsuna was grunting in pain and the blood still didn't stop flowing out of the long slash on his right arm.

"No, Gokudera! Take Tsuna away! Uri can't last long with your current flame's power. He's a swordsman. I'll take care of him," Yamamoto told Gokudera loudly. The sound of heavy downpour drummed in his ears and he couldn't really hear Gokudera's low grunt as he helped Tsuna moved away from the two swordsmen facing each other.

"Oh…" The assassin began. His eyes looked at the sword in Yamamoto's hands with amusing glint. "If it isn't the Shigure Kintoki. You must be Yamamoto Tsuyoshi's son then," he said that with a snicker, his voice full of mockery. "I never thought that I'd meet you when I accept this mission to kill the Tenth Boss of Vongola."

Yamamoto's brows almost formed a line when he heard the man's words. He looked over the assassin's face; the wrinkles on the edge of his eyes and the few strands of gray hair showed that the assassin wasn't really young anymore. The man looked like he was at the same age as Yamamoto's or Tsuna's father. But what differed him from the two men was the maniacal grin that almost etched permanently on his face.

"Who are you?! How do you know me?" Yamamoto leaned back for a moment, taking his sword with him and then lunged forward again, forcing the old swordsman to take a few steps back.

"Of course I'd know you, boy. You're the son of my fellow colleagues. " The grin went wider and he used one of his hands to grip on Yamamoto's sword, pushing it back slowly. Yamamoto's hand had started to tremble from trying to keep his sword steady. But the assassin was really strong and the fact that Yamamoto used the blunt side of Shigure Kintoki made it easier for the man to push his sword away without hurting himself. "And you have the same face as your mother."

The man's face was almost divided in half by his wide grin as he saw Yamamoto's shocked face. "Ah… There… Your mother made the same face when I told her I'd kill you if she didn't hand over Shigure Kintoki to me."

The old memory of his mother's smiling face flashed in Yamamoto's mind. What did the man mean by that? What did his mother got to do with this man? Who was this man?

"Your mother was a beautiful one, boy. Too bad she was too stubborn and I had to kill her."

Unconsciously, Yamamoto loosened his grip on the sword and the man used that opportunity to push his sword forward. Yamamoto stumbled back and winced in pain when the cold steel of the enemy's sword slashed his chin.

"Yamamoto!" Gokudera shouted worriedly from behind him. He was torn in between helping Tsuna, whose face was going paler each moment and wanting to smack Yamamoto's head. "Damn! Boss! Are you okay?"

Yamamoto used his left hand to cover the wound on his chin, his right gripping the sword so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. His eyes were looking at the man looming over him with utmost rage. This man was the one who killed his mother! This man was the one who had made him and his father lost the most important woman in their lives.

"I never thought that this golden opportunity will come today. I can fulfill my mission to kill Vongola's Boss and finally take Shigure Kintoki. All in just one sweep!" The assassin let out a maniacal laugh before he clenched his jaw and looked at Yamamoto with predatory eyes. "And of course, finally I can get rid of the last heir to Shigure Souen Ryuu. Perhaps I should pay your father a visit too after this, shouldn't I?"

Yamamoto thought that the blood loss must have caused him to hallucinate. He could barely make out the faint silhouette of a woman dressed in simple kimono standing at the far end of the road. This road, he finally realized, was the road where he and his mother used to take when they were going shopping together. It was the road leading to Takesushi; the restaurant was just a corner away. He had always dragged his mother to walk quicker when they reached this road so he could get back home as quickly as possible to watch another baseball match on TV. His mother would just chuckle and say to him it's difficult to walk faster because she wore a kimono.

It was as if someone had turned off all the sound around him. The only thing he could hear was how his heart was thumping loudly, he could feel the pulse on his right hand throbbed, and as the man walked closer to him—he held up his sword, readying an attack—he thought heard Tsuna's whimper and Gokudera yelled for him to move away.

'Yamamoto Takeshi, are you fit to be Tsuna's Guardian?'

The Ninth's words rang in his ears again.

'You kill or be killed, Yamamoto.'

Tsuna had said that to him, hadn't he?

No, no, no, no! I can't do this! He shook his head and backed away slowly. The grin on the man's face was back. The old man mocked him, he knew.

'Takeshi…' His mother's soft voice was making his head hurt, it hurt so much and he could feel a warm trickle of water—it's not cold, it's not the rain—falling from his eyes.

He could see his mother was waving to him when the man bent his knee to start his attack. The illusion (or perhaps it's just a delusion, he didn't know anymore) made him feel sick. His head felt like it was going to split in half and the blood was still trickling from the wound on his chin.

"Your boss and friend will accompany you soon, boy."

And that was all it needed for him to stand right back up and flip his sword. He swung his sword in front of him and made a wall of water. The man lunged forward and thrust his sword to Yamamoto's chest. Just when the assassin started to laugh as he thought he had finally killed the son of the man who had stolen the title of Shigure Souen Ryuu Eight Generation Master and Shigure Kintoki from him, the body was changed into water and splashed to the ground.

"Shigure Souen Ryuu, Ninth Stance: Utsushi Ame."

The old man turned his back as he heard the low whisper. Yamamoto was gripping the sword with both of his hands, blue flame flickered on his right hand where the Vongola Rain Ring was, and the same flame was covering Shigure Kintoki. Yamamoto clenched his jaw, fluttered his eyes close in a mere second before lunging forward to the assassin.

It was quick and must have ended in just two seconds. But for Yamamoto, it felt like it was going on forever for his sword to reach its destination. His hands almost slipped when the sharp edge of Shigure Kintoki made contact with the man's jugular. He could feel it, when the sword slashed through the clothes, ripping layers of skin and fibers of muscles, and when the cold steel cracked the bones under. The blood sprayed all over his front side and face; it was thick and warm and he felt sick.

The body fell with a loud splash to the ground. The heavy downpour washed the trail of blood gushing out away from the body. Yamamoto looked at the lifeless body in front of him with empty eyes, the flame on his ring and Shigure Kintoki flickered away, and the rain had washed the blood off his face. His heart was throbbing painfully as he looked over his shoulder to the other side of the road where he had seen the illusion of his mother.

His mother was still standing there, she was closer to where he was standing and he could see her face clearly. She was smiling, but it was not a happy smile, not her usual bright smile. Yamamoto felt his heart was breaking when he saw she closed her eyes and glints of water fell to her cheeks before the illusion disappeared altogether.

His cheeks grew warm when he turned his eyes to the body splayed in front of him. This was right, right? he asked himself. His friends' lives were on the line here. He didn't have any choice. 'You kill or be killed, Yamamoto.' It was all he could do to survive, to protect his best friends' lives. But was it really the reason? Was it not for revenge?

"Ya… Yamamoto…"

Yamamoto blinked hard to free his eyes from tears and turned his head to where Tsuna and Gokudera were. He could see Tsuna's pale and full of guilt face, Gokudera looked like he wasn't going to close his mouth anytime soon. He walked towards them, letting go of his sword as he knelt beside Tsuna.

"Are you okay, Tsuna?" he asked, his voice was too shaky for his own comfort. He shouldn't sound like this! Tsuna would be more worried if he sounded this weak.

"It's just a scratch. I… I'll live." Tsuna glanced over to Gokudera and as if understanding what the silent gaze meant, Gokudera nodded and pulled out his cellphone.

"Hibari. Come to the road near Takesushi restaurant. A body is disrupting the discipline here." Gokudera flipped his phone back to his jacket's pocket as soon as he pulled it out. "We should tend to your wound, Tenth. Can you stand up?"

"I think I can," Tsuna said weakly. His eyes tried to meet with Yamamoto's and he grew worried when he saw it lacked the shine Yamamoto usually had. "Yamamoto… Are you alright?"

Yamamoto broke out of his short daze and cocked his head to the side when he saw Tsuna's and Gokudera's worried faces. It was hard but he managed to pull his face muscle and formed a small smile. "I'm okay! Don't worry!" But his cracked and overly cheerful voice made both his friends' faces more worried.

"Don't say you're fucking okay, moron!" Gokudera said exasperatedly. He shoved his fingers over his wet hair and grunt. "You're clearly not okay and stop smiling!"

"Gokudera-kun…" Tsuna warned him softly. Gokudera 'tch!'-ed before turning his face away from Yamamoto. "Your chin… Yamamoto…"

Yamamoto reflexively touched his wounded chin. The blood had almost stopped flowing but it still hurt a bit. It would leave a scar but it was nothing dangerous. Tsuna's wound however, was still bleeding. The rain had made the blood flow even faster.

"I'll be fine. Let's go to my place and patch you up, Tsuna," he said as he stood up and took his sword. He supported Tsuna's left arm with his shoulder while Gokudera carefully took his right. They walked away from the road where the body of the assassin was still sprawled on the ground. The heavy raindrops were pelting their skin and Yamamoto could see Tsuna grimaced every now and then as they made their way to his house.

When they turned to the overly familiar road, Yamamoto's heart thumped faster the closer they got to Takesushi. What would his father say if he told him what had happened? What would his father say if he asked him about how his mother died?

He took a long breath before opening the restaurant's door. Somehow the restaurant was empty and there was only one person inside. His father was standing behind the counter. He was greeted with his father's boisterous voice when he closed the door.

"Irasshaimase! Please come in and warm…" His father's voice trailed off when he finally turned his eyes from his work to see who his guest was. "Takeshi?! What happened?!"

The older Yamamoto quickly walked out of his working area and helped Gokudera put Tsuna to the nearest chair. He took a box of first aid kit from the kitchen and gave them to Gokudera so he could clean the wound. He then turned to where his son was still standing, drenched in rainwater and blood.

His father's expression changed from that of worry into a shock. He looked at the blood splattered all over his son's clothes, the blood trickling from Shigure Kintoki, to the long slash wound on Tsuna's arm, and to the wound on his son's chin.

"Takeshi… Wha…"

Yamamoto gave his father a small and sad smile, he said with a cold voice, "Shigure Souen Ryuu is a sword style meant for killing, right, Oyaji?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yamamoto let out a small sigh and buried his face in his hands. The memory of his first kill still haunted him sometimes, no matter how many times he tried, forced himself to forget the things happened that day. It was difficult because that day was also the day his father had finally told him everything. Every secret his father had was laid bare when the layers of lies were unfolded slowly.

--

Yamamoto Tsuyoshi used to be an assassin, way before his son was born. When he was young, he had successfully inherited the Shigure Kintoki from the previous master by creating Shinotsuku Ame while saving a good friend of his, Sawada Iemitsu. From that moment on, he, not only gained the title of Shigure Souen Ryuu's Eight Generation Master, formed a deep friendship with Iemitsu. And because Iemitsu was part of Vongola, Tsuyoshi was somehow or another became involved with the mafia too. He became one of Vongola's secret assassins. He would sometimes receive missions to kill people who opposed the Vongola, and with Shigure Souen Ryuu he completed all missions quite effortlessly.

His life had been nothing but killing people with cold blood until he met Kuroda Yukiko when he came back to his hometown, Namimori. They met in a sushi restaurant where Yukiko was the daughter of the owner. It was love at first sight to both man and woman. It didn't take a long time until Tsuyoshi decided that Yukiko would be the mother of his child. He asked for her hands in marriage from Kuroda Atsushi, Yukiko's father, after a month of persistently stalking his sushi restaurant.

Long story short, they got married and two months later, Yukiko was pregnant. That was when Yamamoto Tsuyoshi decided to end his career as an assassin for Vongola. His friendship with Iemitsu was affected greatly by his decision. They were drifting apart as he didn't really get in touch with the Vongola anymore. He had replaced his sword with a chef knife the moment he stopped killing for Vongola. He learned the art of cutting fish from his father-in-law and managed to open his own sushi restaurant a few months before his son was born.

Six months after Takeshi was born, Iemitsu had suddenly appeared in Takesushi and informed him with an overly cheerful and boisterous voice, 'Sawada Tsunayoshi is born today, my friend!', and then he pulled him into a big hug. Their broken friendship was reattached after that. Iemitsu would come every now and then to Takesushi to talked to him about the latest news in the mafia world (and endlessly praising how cute his son was). Yukiko, who had known about his old work, didn't really like Iemitsu's visits. He knew that his wife was afraid he might go back to his old ways again. But he promised her that he wouldn't and she tried her best to believe him.

Eight years passed without any great problems. Tsuyoshi kept his promise to his wife and didn't walk back to what he was before. He still kept his Shigure Kintoki and practiced to retain his swordsmanship, he couldn't let Shigure Souen Ryuu died after all (he planned to teach his son the sword style one day, not to make his son a killer, but to keep the flawless and invincible style alive). His friendship with Iemitsu was not as close as before because apparently his friend had become the Consigliere to the Ninth Boss of Vongola and also a leader of CEDEF.

He was completely shocked when one day, Yukiko and their young son came home with Iemitsu in tow. It was months ago since he last heard of him and when his friend appeared again, he was giving him a warning. Apparently one of Tsuyoshi's old colleagues from the day he was still studying Shigure Souen Ryuu, Miyamoto Katsura was killed by a young boy named Superbi Squalo. He was one of the two persons whose Eight Stance couldn't outstand Tsuyoshi's Shinotsuku Ame. And now, Tachibana Fubuki, the other one of the two, was looking for Tsuyoshi to take Shigure Kintoki and defeat the fearsome boy.

The warning had made Tsuyoshi and Yukiko feel more afraid and nervous than ever. His wife started to grew worried and nervous every day since Iemitsu came and warn him about Tachibana Fubuki. They often quarreled in silence about it while trying to keep it from young Takeshi. Tsuyoshi had tried his best to calm his wife and said everything will be alright, that he would protect his family no matter what.

It's a week after the warning when Tachibana Fubuki came to Takesushi to take Shigure Kintoki from Tsuyoshi. Tsuyoshi was not at the restaurant at the time; he had gone to the shopping district to buy something and left his wife to tend to the restaurant. He came back just half an hour after he left only to find Fubuki stood over Yukiko who had blood pooling under her body. Fubuki managed to run away after Tsuyoshi attacked him with his chef knife.

It was already too late when Tsuyoshi had called out for help. Yamamoto Yukiko was killed by Tachibana Fubuki.

--

Yamamoto could feel the cold breeze of early autumn wind sweeping through the vast cemetery. He looked down on the memorial stone and remembered what the little guy had said when he knew about Tachibana Fubuki, the assassin hired to kill Tsuna, and he was the same man responsible for Yamamoto's mother's death.

"You were doing your job as Tsuna's Guardian, Yamamoto. The shower that washes everything, that's a Rain Guardian's role. You were not doing this for revenge. It will not change anything even if he wasn't your mother's murderer. What would you do if the assassin was not Tachibana? What would you do if Tsuna's life, no, your friends' lives are in the line?"

He couldn't answer that question at the time because he knew far too well what his answer going to be. It would be the same. He would do the same thing because he valued his best friends' lives. His father had said to him back when he first learned about Shigure Souen Ryuu that it was a sword style meant for killing. But the Eight Shigure Souen Ryuu Master had said too that the sword style was used not only for taking lives but also protecting it. Shinotsuku Ame was created for saving a friend's life after all.

Reborn had smirked and understood Yamamoto's silent answer. "You are Tsuna's best friend and Guardian, but you are also a natural born killer, Yamamoto. Never forget that."

And Yamamoto had never forgotten Reborn's words even long after he had said that. He had finally stopped treating the mafia as a role playing game. He had finally known the truth about his mother's death and his father's past; nothing was changed between his father and him after that. He had able keep his smile intact even when he decided to put his baseball career to an end so he could be a full-time Guardian for Tsuna (and it was not because Squalo had send him one hundred and one DVDs of 'The Making of Sword Emperor', as the Varia member would always brag to him).

Reborn was one of the most influential people in Yamamoto's life. The little guy was the one who had guided him on his long way to become a good Rain Guardian to the Tenth Vongola Boss. He would often give Yamamoto guidance in any aspect of the Rain Guardian's life even without him asking to. But now that the little guy had died, Yamamoto could only wonder what he would do in this dangerous and critical time. The Millefiore had not only taken Reborn's life using the Tre-Ni-Sette Radiation. Last he heard, Collonelo and Viper were dead too not long after Reborn. But the Arcobaleno were not the only ones who had became Millefiore's victims.

He took a deep breath, let it out and then lowered his head to the small stone. It was cold but it soothed his troubled mind a bit.

"What should I do, little guy?" He whispered softly. "What should I do now that my father is dead?"

~Epilogue~

"Oi!"

A tap on his shoulder broke Yamamoto out of his reverie. He looked over his shoulder and found Gokudera standing behind him with one hand inside his pocket. His ever so permanent scowl was still etched on his forehead and a stick of cigarette dangling on his lips.

"Are you finished yet? We should go. The Tenth is waiting," Gokudera said as he took the cigarette off his lips and put it off using the small portable ashtray.

"How did you know I was here?" Yamamoto asked as he stood up and dusted off the dirt on his knees. He picked up his sword and fixed his eyes on the memorial stone for another moment before turning to face Gokudera, with his small smile

"Tch! My sister said that she always sees you come here every morning." Gokudera's face turned a bit pale as he mentioned his sister. "Anyways, as I was saying, the Tenth is waiting. And you're the only one who hasn't showed up so he sent me to go and look for you. The Millefiore won't be so patient as to wait for us, so let's go now."

At the mention of the Millefiore, Yamamoto scowled and the grip on his sword tightened. Today, Tsuna, Gokudera and himself, were going to meet the Millefiore for a negotiation. It was a negotiation for a cease fire initiated by the Tenth Boss of Vongola after the last loss to their side; a couple of days ago Yamamoto Tsuyoshi was found dead in his sushi restaurant with enormous slash wounds in his body.

"Hey, you okay?" Gokudera tapped his shoulder again when he suddenly went silent. "Are you sure you want to do this? I can tell the Tenth you can't come."

Yamamoto closed his eyes for a few seconds, shoving any painful memories away, and then he opened it again. He grinned to Gokudera—he wondered for a moment whether it was real or just another fake one—and scratched the back of his head.

"I'm okay. Don't worry."

Gokudera's face turned sour and he scowled, "Who said I was worried? Tch! Stupid sword-freak…" he grumbled as he took his hand away from Yamamoto's shoulder. He shoved him away and stood in front of the small memorial stone. He bowed deeply and mumbled something about 'protecting the Tenth' before straightened himself and started to walk away.

"Let's go, sword-freak. The world doesn't stop turning when you waste your time sulking here." Gokudera looked over his shoulder to him, his scowl lessened, a small quirk on the corner of his lips indicated that he's smiling, and added, "You have a job to do. And Reborn-san won't like it if he sees you like this. He'll kick your ass for being such a gloomy."

Yamamoto's smile was falling and he blinked a couple of times hearing Gokudera, of all people, said that to him. He looked back to the small encrypted stone, blinked a couple of times more, and then a smile—it's a real smile, he was sure of it—crept up to his face. The smile turned into a chuckle—it sounded sad and happy and empty at the same time—and it felt like a long time ago since he last laughed like this.

Gokudera was right. The world was still turning no matter how hard he wished it stopped the moment he heard of his father's death. He still had a job, a responsibility, as the Rain Guardian of the Vongola. And of course, the little guy would not be happy if he saw the man he branded as a natural born killer spending his time sulking over old memories or over the dead.

Yamamoto slung the sword over his shoulder and started to follow Gokudera out of Vongola's private cemetery. He still chuckled lightly even as they arrived at the mansion's front gate, where Tsuna was waiting by the car. Tsuna smiled serenely as Yamamoto waved to him. 'Stop laughing, moron!' Gokudera had hissed and huffed beside him. But Yamamoto didn't stop his laughter or stop smiling. It was the thing he's best at (other than baseball and swordsmanship) after all.

…and he still had his best friends. That was all he needed for now.

--

There were three important stages in Yamamoto Takeshi's life. They shaped him; his personality, his mindset, his behavior, his habit, his life, his everything.

The first stage was when he was eight years old, when he learned how to always smile at any circumstances, to remain vigilant of his surroundings, and to keep up a happy façade so nobody would worry about him, or in other words; when he learned to deceive himself and others.

The second stage was when he was fourteen years old, when he inherited the Shigure Souen Ryuu from his father, when he put all of his resolve to prove that the sword style he learned was the strongest, completely flawless, unrivaled and invincible. It was also when the little guy marked him as a natural born killer, something that he himself would never admit that it was right until five years later.

The last stage was when he was nineteen, when he learned that sometimes, ending someone else's life was necessary when it meant that another precious life-the people important to him- was spared, that his naiveté would never protect him from the ugliness of the world forever.

He learned how to be a mafioso, a friend, a brother, a guardian and a partner to protect those precious to him. Even though it meant he had to bury his dreams. Even though it meant he had to be a cold-blooded murderer and stain his sword, his hands with blood.

He was…is, after all, a natural born killer. The little guy was right all along.

And the mafia was never a game…

It was not a dream…

It was not a fairytale…

It was reality…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yamamoto knew that even though he had the Shigure Souen Ryuu and Shigure Kintoki as his weapon, even though he was Vongola's Rain Guardian, even though he was branded as a natural born killer by Vongola's best hitman, and even though he had put all of his resolve and will to protect those precious to him, he could never win the battle against fate.

Fate had shown him once, that he failed as a son and the heir of the Shigure Souen Ryuu, when his father died in the hands of some unknown assassins sent by the Millefiore.

Fate had shown him again that he was just a mere human after all and he had failed to do his responsibility as a friend, a brother, a guardian, a protector, when Tsuna died later that evening during the negotiation with the Millefiore.

It was then… as he saw Tsuna fell to the ground with bullet holes on his chest (and there's a barely visible small smile on his face), as he saw Gokudera's tears falling endlessly when he tried his best to stop the blood from gushing out of Tsuna's chest, that Yamamoto faintly hoped this whole madness was just a nightmare.

~Fin~

In the bleak future you're in now, sometimes you look back and wondered; was all of this worth it?

Comments/reviews appreciated!