I say sorry every chapter, so balls to it. University started, god help me.

Tily: I've got to give you credit, you've been trying.

Kit: I want my free time back!

Yuffie: Do you want me to persuade someone to give it to you?

Kit: ... oh please can I take her up on that offer?

Tily: No.

Kit: Yuffie's here on request but she's destroying my bedroom! She agreed to stop if she could introduce the chapter.

Yuffie: This is Kit's story. She doesn't own me or any of the people she writes about but she likes writing anyway. So enjoy the chapter!

Axel had tried his best to get himself out more after making amends with his roommates; his room had started to feel like a prison, but then again so had the world. He e-mailed Roxas as much as he could without sounding as desperate as he really was, but it did nothing to help his longing –not that he really expected it to– but he could hope. It was all he had now.

The ache in his chest doubled every time Roxas told him that he missed him and that he would be home as soon as he could. As each day passed, the promise of that seemed to hold less and less meaning. He knew Roxas would return, yet each day he wasn't there, it made him a little less hopeful.

I know everyone will be worried about you, I hope you're talking to them.

I'll see you soon.

I love you.

If he wasn't so depressed, Axel would have laughed. Since he had left his room two weeks prior, he had barely spoken a word to either of his flatmates; only because he didn't know what to say. What could he say? He had no conversation topics; he had spent the past three weeks wallowing in depression without leaving his room, let alone the apartment.

When the pair was around, Axel made the effort to see them –if only for a minute- just to show them that he was still alive. He wasn't eating yet, but he was surviving, and that seemed to be enough for the boys who tended to be out at work. They believed Axel's lies when he gave a mute nod to the question 'have you eaten yet?'

"Demyx is coming over soon," Riku informed him as the pair stood in the kitchen, the silver haired boy chopping vegetables as the redhead sipped his coffee – his new food substitute. This, in turn, making Axel's heart squeeze a little, he already knew what Demyx would be like when he saw Axel again and the last thing he needed was a blubbering ball of Demyx when he could barely keep himself together. "I just wanted to give you a heads up; he really wants to see you."

Axel nodded mutely and walked away, back to his room. Demyx was his oldest friend and he'd neglected the boy since Roxas had left. Axel let out a sharp breath, how selfish of him.

Once in his room the redhead sighed and glanced over at his quietly buzzing laptop. He wouldn't check it, not yet. If he did, he might lock himself in his room for the rest of the night and ignore his friend. So instead, he changed– if there had been one improvement, it was that he'd been washing more since he'd started getting out of his room and spending time in other parts of the apartment. Not only did he hate smelling bad, he was out of his room, and that in itself was a good sign for Sora and Riku, who then wouldn't pester the redhead when he went back to his room.

Just as the redhead pulled his t-shirt over his head, the door slammed open, startling Axel who spun around only to collide with a mass of sandy blond mullet-hawk. "Demyx! I told you not to barge into his room." Axel turned his attention to Zexion, who had scolded the blond and was walking towards the pair with fire in his eyes. The slate haired boy placed an arm on Demyx's shoulder, but it was quickly shrugged off as the blond clung to Axel and gave Zexion a watery pout.

The boy rolled his eyes, "I apologise for this Axel, he's done nothing but worry about you for weeks."

The redhead looked down at the boy clinging to him for dear life but couldn't bring himself to hug Demyx back; the action would likely break him and he wouldn't let everyone see that. Instead, he just let Demyx hug him and stood in silence as he did so. "Hey guys," Sora interrupted from the doorframe and the trio turned to look at him (Demyx only doing so as Axel moved) making Sora smile somewhat awkwardly. "Riku wants to know if you're staying for dinner."

Both Axel and Zexion then turned to Demyx and the sandy blond nodded without letting go of the redhead. "If it's no trouble," Zexion answered for Demyx somewhat apologetically, "I'm afraid Demyx might not let go of Axel if we say no."

"No problem," Sora smiled and walked away to inform Riku.

"Demyx," Axel started but Demyx squeezed him in a don't-talk-just-hug manner and the redhead shut up with a huff of air and looked over at Zexion, who just shrugged, unable to do anything to save Axel from Demyx's grasp.

"I'll just um," and the slate haired boy pointed towards the door over his shoulder and left the room.

There was only silence after Zexion left and Axel's back began to ache with the pressure his best friend was putting on it, but he stood still and allowed Demyx to get it out of his system. A few minutes passed before he did and the blond finally mumbled an, "I missed you, you jack ass," with his face mushed against the redhead's shoulder before he let go and walked away to find Zexion.

Axel didn't move straight away, just stared after the blond and let the smallest of melancholy smiles spread across his face. He'd have to apologise to Demyx later.

The group of males all took their seat at the table; Axel refused the offer of any food but he sat with them for Demyx's sake –and it succeeded in making the blond very happy.

The conversations started off awkwardly for the first five minutes of dinner, Demyx and Sora would ask a question and receive a short answer in return, unsure of what they could actually talk about, but eventually the uneasy air lifted and everyone felt comfortable enough to chat away. Axel mostly sat and watched the other four as they laughed with each other causing a pit to open up in the bottom of his stomach. He felt guilty for thinking it, but he just couldn't bear being around the two couples; especially in the state he was in now. Finally, it became so unbearable that the redhead stood from his seat at the table making all eyes turn to him. He would have liked to leave without a word, but he knew that wasn't possible; thankfully he'd been sitting there making up his excuse while the other four talked.

"I forgot I promised Reno I'd go see him," Axel explained –speaking for the first time all day- and even though Demyx and Sora shot each other a concerned look, Riku nodded.

"I'm sure he'll be pleased to see you, we'll see you later Axel."

The redhead nodded and moved away from the dinner table, collecting his converse from his room and putting them on before leaving.

Axel winced at the sunlight as he exited the apartment complex, it had been too long since he'd been outside but he didn't care; solitude was the only comfort he had right now and though he didn't particularly want to visit Reno, he decided it would probably be the best thing to do. His brother hadn't seen him in a while and it would be nice to be around someone who wouldn't tiptoe around his emotional state.

Axel took his time walking home and thought about what he might say to Reno. He reminded himself he couldn't –and wouldn't- break down in front of his brother; the last thing he wanted was Reno's sympathy because he looked so pathetic. The redhead thought about visiting Cloud while he was there, at least then he'd be able to talk to someone who was sharing his pain, but the thought of going back to Roxas' house would open up a whole new hole in his chest and he didn't think he could handle that.

After a long walk to steel him for this encounter, Axel finally reached home and opened the door to find Reno lounging on the couch with Metallica playing through the entire house. The older male had no idea Axel had even entered until the door closed with a less-than-quiet click. He turned to look over at his little brother who practically gawked at him. Reno turned off the music and walked over to Axel, who hadn't moved from the door and a long silence ensued as the older redhead just stared at his little brother.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He demanded, nipping Axel's arm which made the younger male quickly try to soothingly rub it without saying a word. "Hey, don't play that 'mute' shit with me, you're not five anymore," Reno scolded; he knew his brother far too well.

"Where do you think I've been?" Axel replied.

"Well you could have answered your phone. I've been calling it every day since I found out about Roxas."

The younger redhead winced; he should have known Reno would be this brutal. "Sit."

Axel grumbled but walked over to the couch and sat down as Reno took a seat across from him and studied his brother. He looked exhausted and thinner than he should be, making the other male frown. "I understand that this is hard for you, Axel, what happened wasn't fair for either of you; but you can't do this to yourself." The younger redhead winced again, how dare Reno see through him so easily. "Do you really think that Roxas would be happy that you're isolating yourself if he knew? He wants you to be ok."

"But I'm not ok Reno!" Axel finally snapped, shouting at his brother, his patience worn away with his brother and everyone else, everyone who was taking pity on him. Everyone who cared about him. "How am I supposed to be ok with this? Roxas was taken from me Reno, and there's nothing I could do about it, no way I could stop it, and it kills me every day. How am I supposed to be ok with that?" Axel could feel the mask he'd built up cracking but he couldn't bare the pain anymore, he had to let it out, and Reno would understand that his brother was hurting. "No one understands what this feels like so they tiptoe around me like I'm made out of glass and it makes me angry and I hate myself for it! Nothing is fine anymore!"

Axel's voice began to shake and he stood abruptly before he could break any further. He gave one last look to Reno before heading towards the door. "Axel, wait!" he heard his brother call just as he closed the door and walked away.

Axel's legs took him to the beach as he scolded himself for what he'd just done. Reno didn't deserve that, Axel had wanted someone to be open with him but he hadn't realised how little he was prepared for it. He hated everyone for being so careful around him but once one person had been honest with him he'd snapped and that wasn't fair.

As his mind raced Axel looked out at the sea and the setting sun. He was a fool for thinking he could deal with anything, he wanted to scream and curse the world for everything that had happened but he couldn't find his voice around the lump in his throat, choking him until he let out a heavy sob; he was too old to cry but too drained not to, so he sat under the walkway where it was quiet and secluded and sobbed like never before because his heart was broken and that was the only thing he could accept.

A/N: Could I be anymore heartless?

Tily: Reno had words about his lack of presence didn't he?

Kit: If I put him in he agreed to make cookies.

Yuffie: Reno's making cookies?

Kit: You're not allowed Yuffie, they're for the readers! Get back here Yuffie!

Tily: ^^; um... please review and stuff, if there are anymore guest suggestions we're always happy to hear them. Thank you for reading! From the bottom of our hearts.