A/N: So here I am again. I know it has been awhile, and I'm sorry. As some of you know though, real life has kicked me in the teeth. Family deaths, computer death, New job, new semester of school. Both of which are considered full time. I wouldn't even have today as rest if the college wasn't closed for Labor Day. Thank you Labor Day, and thank you readers for sticking with me.
Snape got out of bed and searched for his pajama bottoms. When he found them he pulled them on and headed into the bathroom. He discovered Harry in front of the tub hugging himself, and still crying. "Harry?" Snape said quietly, reaching out a hand to Harry.
Harry jerked away from Snape's hand. "Don't touch me. Please…Don't touch me."
"Harry…I'm…" He ran a hand through his hair and knelt down in front of Harry. "I'm sorry." The word felt almost foreign to him, but on this rare occasion he meant it whole heartedly. He reached out for Harry again, with the intent of hugging him. Meaning only to give the boy comfort.
Harry quickly stood up and side stepped Snape's out stretched arms. He started to run. He ran out of the bathroom, out of the rooms, and just kept going. Harry pushed himself to keep going, until eventually found himself on the quidditch pitch. He ducked under the bleachers, and tucked himself into a corner. He once again curled up into himself, trying to make himself as small and insignificant as he felt. He wanted to hide; wanted to disappear; never to be seen from again. By anyone. Harry was not that lucky.
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Sirius and Lupin had been up all night talking, holding hands, and occasionally kissing. They had only just started dating and decided to keep it a secret for now. Neither of the men had been aware how long they had been talking, until they both realized that they were famished. It was past 3:00 in the morning and had missed dinner ages ago.
Lupin had volunteered to go down and get them some food from the kitchens, Every step he took felt like he was walking on air, and he had a ridiculous grin plastered on his face. All because of a certain animagus. He was in a world all his own until he was abruptly jarred from it by someone running past him like death was chasing him. They nearly bowled him over, and he almost didn't have time to register that it was Harry before he was out of sight.
"What in the hell?" Lupin asked himself; very confused. The quest for food forgotten, Lupin went after Harry. For the first time Lupin was grateful that he was a werewolf. Without his keen sense of smell, he would never have been able to track Harry. 'I swear, if Harry had been a muggle, he would have been the star of the track team, instead of our quidditch prodigy.' He thought to himself as he made his way outside, and to where Harry had stashed himself away.
When Lupin finally made it to Harry's location he immediately took in the clear state of Harry's distress. Seeing that Harry was only wearing pajama bottoms, he quickly took off his outer robes and wrapped Harry in them. As soon as Lupin placed his arms around Harry, he began to panic and struggle.
"Harry, ssshhh. It's just me." He gently rocked Harry until he stopped struggling. He looked down at the motionless boy in his arms and saw that he Had fallen asleep. That or passed out. He collected Harry into his arms, and slowly made his way back to the castle. He decided that if Harry was this distraught at this time of night, that he must have run away from his home. He took Harry to his own rooms instead.
"Thank Merlin your back, Remus. I'm star…What's going on?" He went over to Lupin and unburdened him of Harry and laid him gently on the couch.
"I was on my way to the kitchens when Harry raced by. He nearly knocked me down. Well I followed him and I found him on the quidditch pitch. Hiding under the bleachers."
"What?" Sirius responded, looking at Lupin incredulously.
"Just what I said. I found him under the bleachers, curled up in a ball, and crying."
Sirius knelt down next to Harry and brushed a lock of hair off his face. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Harry's forehead. "What happened cub?"
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After Harry had left, Snape went into a flurry of action. He quickly pulled on a set of robes and grabbed a calming draught. He then went after Harry. Snape reached out for the bond he shared with Harry and followed it as fast as he could. As he should have suspected, it led him right to Lupin's private quarters. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, but hesitated. Snape was in no need to deal with the quick-tempered werewolf. And he just knew that he would get the blame for Harry's current distress.
But wasn't he to blame, the other half of him argued. Yes and no he decided. Yes, he had just consummated his marriage to Harry, and no, because he wasn't the one to beat and rape Harry in the past. Snape sighed heavily and knocked on the door; his concern for Harry far out weighing his displeasure to be in Lupin's company.
Lupin opened the door and narrowed his eyes when he saw Snape at his door. "What do you want Severus?" He growled out.
"I want to see Harry." Snape fought to keep his anger in check. It would not get him anywhere with Lupin.
"Tell me why I should let you."
"He's my husband, Lupin."
"You hurt him"
"Yes, but not on purpose!"
Lupin raised his eyebrow at Snape, and quietly contemplated him before slowly opening the door further to allow Snape entrance.
Snape rushed over to Harry's side and pushed Sirius out of the way. "What happened to him?"
"We were going to ask you the same question, Snivillus!"
"That's enough! Stop this petty snipping. All that matters right now is Harry. To answer your question Severus, We're not sure. I was out walking when Harry bolted past me. I followed him. He passed out and I brought him here. Your turn. What happened to make him run out at 3:00 in the morning?"
Snape sighed wearily. "Earlier we had a visit from Fudge. He not so pleasantly reminded us we only had a week left to consummate our marriage. And tonight we did." Snape looked away, feeling guilty.
"Why you sick-"
"Sirius! What Severus did was for Harry's own good. As weird as that sounds." He turned to face Snape and took in his guilty expression. "How…How did Harry respond…to you?" Lupin asked awkwardly?
"He was quiet through out, but his body had responded to my attentions."
"I see. And did he, that is I mean to say, did he…reach completion?"
"With both barrels."
"Alright! Sirius intervened. "A simple yes or no would have sufficed!"
Snape and Sirius continued to argue and make fun of each other.
Lupin had enough. He scooped Harry up and took him to his room to lay him down on his bed, The arguing pair didn't even notice.
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Harry was back on the path to Hogwarts, Shadows dashed in and out of the forest lining the path. He turned around sharply trying to focus on the figures swirling around him. They swooped down on him and dragged him into the trees.
A glint of steel.
And then a voice. "You've caused a lot of trouble for a lot of people…"
So familiar. If he could just remember.
Just remember…
A scream.
Then nothing…
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Harry awoke with a strangled gasp. He sat up panting. His mind reeling; grasping at the tattered edges of his fading nightmare. He looked up and saw Lupin by his side.
"Just a nightmare. I'm fine."
"Are you?"
Yes. Peachy."
"Then perhaps you would like to explain the nocturnal jog this evening?"
Harry looked down. "It's so embarrassing." He whispered.
"Harry. You are upset. I promise I won't laugh. Or make fun of you."
Harry sighed and nodded. "Yesterday the Minister of Magic came and reminded us that we only had a week left to consummate our marriage. Then later that night, or this morning rather, we did."
"Why did it upset you so much?" Lupin of course knew why, but he couldn't let Harry know he knew about his rape.
"Remus, I…" Harry's voice broke. "You remember the day you picked me up from the Dursley's? The night before, and several times before, my uncle raped me."
Lupin pulled Harry into a tight embrace. "And sex with Severus reminded you of that."
"Yes, but it was different. It felt different. Severus was gentle."
"It was pleasurable."
"Yes. I liked it and that scared me. If I liked it this time, then at least part of me liked it the other times. And what if that part of me really did ask for it and my uncle was right? That I'm just a cheap dirty whore?"
"You are not a whore!"
"Yes I am! I whored my self out in return for protection! And I like it! I have never felt more cheap or dirty!" He was sobbing again.
Lupin gently rocked him. "It's not true Harry. You were forced by people and situations beyond your control. That says nothing about you, only the monsters that wish to hurt you." Eventually Harry calmed back down and Lupin wiped the tears off of Harry's face. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Would you mind if I took a bath and stayed the night?"
"Not at all." Lupin stood up and pulled out a set of pajamas out of his wardrobe. He handed them to Harry and ushered him to the bathroom. "You can borrow these and feel free to use anything you find in here."
"Thank you." Harry hugged him and closed the door.
Lupin had just decided to check on Snape and Sirius, when he heard a crash and the shattering of glass. "Damn those men! That had better not have been my blue vase." Lupin threw open his bedroom door and saw Sirius and Snape rolling on the floor, hitting each other. Unfortunately for them the blue vase was also on the floor in pieces.
Finally having more than enough, Lupin threw stunning spells at them. They both went rigid and laid there on the floor not moving.
"I have had just about all I can handle from the two of you. We are not children anymore, and we must find a way to behave civilly with each other. For Harry's sake. He needs the three of us, and right now he doesn't have either of you. You two are so wrapped up in your childhood grudges that you guys didn't even notice that Harry was awake and no longer in the room. I know that this will not be solved tonight, so for now I'm going to lift the stunning spell. And when I do, I want you, Severus, to go talk with Harry. And I want you, Sirius, to just leave, because frankly I can't look at either of you." Lupin Lifted the spell and stormed away to his office.
Just as directed, Sirius left via the floo and Snape went to talk with Harry.
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Snape quietly entered the bathroom, and saw Harry pulling on a pair of pajama bottoms. Harry's back was turned to him, and Snape picked up the matching pajama top. He walked over to Harry with it and draped it over Harry's shoulders.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." Harry sharply turned around when he heard the deep, silky tones of Snape's voice. His eyes widened in surprise.
"What are you doing here?"
"Did you truly think that I would not come after you?" Harry only looked down in response. "Since you brought it up, would you care to explain your hasty departure?"
Harry sighed.
"Well?"
"I was scared. Confused. In a way, what I was feeling was new and exciting."
"Go on." Snape said feeling Smug.
"And in another way I was back with my uncle. Fulfilling another obligation to survive. I felt dirty again."
"I see." Snape's smugness deflated quickly deflated like a popped balloon. The damage to his pride smarted, but if he allowed himself, he would have realized the pain of a much deeper emotional injury.
"Are you coming back to the rooms or not?" He asked slightly coldly.
"Actually, I think I might stay here tonight and just take a breather."
"That's fine by me, Potter. Perhaps I'll get a decent nights sleep for once without your aggravating presence." Snape hissed out the last word and turned to leave.
Harry grabbed his arm. "Severus…"
Snape narrowed his eyes and wrenched his arm free, then continued out the door.
A/N: And there you have it. Chapter 10. Not the most exciting part of the story, but it is necessary. I already have part of Chapter 11 done, so hopefully you all won't have to wait as long. Well…Tell me what you think.