Disclaimer: I do NOT own iCarly.

Sam's Perspective

I tore the meat forcefully from the giant turkey leg I held in my hands. Mmm... One of the best turkey legs ever... So tender and juicy... And flavorful, too... I stuffed another seemingly impossible bite into my already full mouth. This was heaven...

...Until I noticed a certain dishrag staring at me with a disgusted look on his face... What?... Yeah, Freddie! Who else would I be talkin' about?!... Geez, anyway, he was staring at me. And I hate it when people stare at me. I really hate it when people stare at me in disgust... And I really, really hate him!

So I growled... And glared. My beady little blue eyes... Staring right into his soul. That sounds about right... I smirked. Freddie didn't move a muscle... He narrowed his eyes.

Gosh-darn it! He's getting better at this!

"What are you staring at, dork-wad?"

"Some strange new species, whose obvious main dietary substance is that poor, poor turkey..." He shrugged and went back to... Well, whatever it was he was doing...

I kept staring at him, hoping to give him a feel of what it was like for me. For several minutes, he kept staring at that darn computer screen, typing in nerd-ish codes and what-not... However, eventually I got to him. Sam Puckett always gets the last laugh...

He slowly turned to me, his eyes sparking in the light... "What. Do. You. Want?" He growled each word, with a mean expression written on his face.

"...Looks like it's someone's time of the month...," I shot at him, smirking.

He made a face at me. "At least I'd be going through that time."

It took me a moment to realize what he was saying... Boy, he is treading on dangerous territory now!

I sighed, and said, "Well, it'd be your baby, too!"

Uh... uh-oh... I did not just give him those many opportunities...

He snickered. "Oh, Sam, dear, congratulations! Your first baby! With me!" He scoffed.

The sarcasm was clear, and I was blushing madly.

Just then, Spencer walked in, carrying a bag of ostrich food. "Hey, Sam, Fredd-O! Off to feed my ostrich!" He ran off to his room, and I heard a noise sounding like an irritated beast. Marvin.

Then Carly walked in, carrying four bags of groceries. Freddie snatched the opportunity up as quickly as I normally would.

He smirked, and said, "Sam, honey, aren't you going to tell our best friend about our precious little baby?" He put on a fake, "excited," face.

...And Carly thought he was serious.

She dropped the groceries. Every single one of them. "I—You—Tell me about... WHAT!?!" She paled, and her eyes widened.

Freddie cracked up. Of course it was funny to him! He'd won!

Still... It was 1 to 11,189... And in counting!

"Carly...," I mumbled, "...Not literally..."

She sighed, relieved. "Dear God, don't scare me like that again!" Then she started picking up the groceries she'd dropped. Freddie got up to help. "Thank God for plastic containers," I heard him mumble to himself as he started picking up

Then she got all curious, and asked, "How did it go this time?" She was talking about the argument, of course. Carly stuck a rather delectable looking pack of chicken wings back into a paper bag... I'd have to find a way to get my paws on that...

"Well?" Carly asked, bringing me back to reality.

"Oh," I said, and Freddie and I reenacted our little spat.

...Then the three of us burst out laughing.

"Wow!" Carly remarked. "I can't believe you guys actually managed to get into that!"

"That's us!," I replied, grinning from ear to ear.

"As if," Freddie said to me, smiling in the same way I was.

The three of us laughed lightly a little more.

Carly and Freddie grabbed the bags, now full of the groceries, from the floor, and set them down on the counter.

"You know," Carly remarked, "you could have helped."

"Since when have I ever cared about helping?" I mumbled.

Freddie rolled his eyes.

"You are so lazy!" Carly said, laughing slightly. That big grin on her face ruined any tone of anger or frustration that would have covered her voice.

"Isn't that one of my simply amazing qualities you love about me?" I asked, holding out my arms in a, "Hug me!" way. I grinned. Please forgive me?

She laughed.

"Oh, hey," said Freddie from the couch, "Girly Cow is on!" His laptop was closed. Obviously, he'd gotten bored from his nerdy hobby, and decided to come back down to earth.

"Ooh, cool!" I said, plopping myself down next to him. Hint: He was sitting in the middle of the couch.

Carly sat down next to him. "Which one is it?"

"The one where her evil twin sister comes to visit the farm."

"Oh, cool," Carly replied. "I love that one."

The three of us chilled out, watchin' us some there good Girly Cow!

About five or six hours had gone by. I was half asleep when Freddie wondered out loud, "Where's my mom?"

I shrugged. "Wouldn't she normally be having a nervous breakdown by now?" It was almost midnight.

Carly stifled a yawn. "Maybe she had to work late at the hospital."

"Hmm... Maybe," Freddie replied, yawning. His tone said that he didn't really care; that he was just too tired to care.

Agreed, Freddork. Agreed.

He closed his eyes, and so did I. The three of us fell half asleep domino fashion—Freddie was on my side, and Carly was on his.

We hardly heard Freddie's cell phone ring. I felt him jump. He sat up, waking up Carly, and hurriedly answered the call, not bothering to check the number.

"Hello?"

By now, I was 75% of the way awake. But the next word out of his mouth woke both me and Carly up completely. Immediately.

"D-Dad?..."

So, I'm going to keep this, but get rid of iSave a Life. (This was going to be the second part. I just don't think the first part is going anywhere anytime soon... Besides, it doesn't really get interesting until this part. ;)) I'm also going to illustrate each chapter. (Yes, I draw, too. More than I write. Better than I write.) I'll give a link to that gallery as soon as possible. :) Review, please? And thanks for reading!