Whoopies! I accidently uploaded this to the IZ board! Stupid, stupid, stupid tadpole! No own. This is sorta a novelized version of Nny and Devi's date. The diaglouge is taken from the comics, but the thoughts were written by me. Set to "Iris" (thanks to Samantha for the correction) by the Goo Goo dolls.
Y'know, Nny/Devi is the only romance I've *EVER* been able to enjoy. Maybe because it's so doomed... yes, I am sick. Well, on with the sap!
-------
"Sigh, it's so pretty when you're looking down on it."
"Yes it is. It's an amazing illusion."
"Beautiful."
*Not so much as you.* Nny thought, wincing at how cheesey and white-washed his thoughts seemed tonight, but blissful all the same.
/And I'd give up forever to touch you/
/'Cause I know that you feel me somehow/
Devi looked at Nny and smiled. He seemed so nice. A good conversationalist, if a little quiet, and he liked movies almost as much as she did, maybe more! And, unless her radar was way off, he didn't even look at her 'that way' once. That ment something to her. It was more than just the fact that her endless succesion of shitty dates was making that sort of thing more and more repulsive to her. It told her for sure that he cared about *her* And the feeling was mutual...
/You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be/
Nny felt delerious. He was spinning. It felt like coming out of a sleep, and yet it was pleasent. He couldn't understand or describe it.
/And I don't want to go home right now/
"Would you like to go to your place?"
"Yes."
/And all I can taste is this moment/
/And all I can breathe is your life/
"I really enjoyed tonight Nny."
She meant it. She really meant it, Nny could tell. She wasn't the kind to lie to build herself up socially. Not that saying that to him would help her much *there* He had really enjoyed it too, he just wished he could stop the nagging feeling that something was wrong...
"Really, we should have done this sooner! Why DIDN'T we do this sooner? I mean, we've known each other for, what, about three months now? And this is the first time we've ever actually been out together! What would you have done if I had never asked you out?"
Devi knew she was babbling, and she didn't care. She was on top of the world, and she could really see something with Nny. She could actually see a relationship that survived past the first date. She prayed that nothing would destroy this...
/'Cause sooner or later it's over/
/I just don't want to miss you tonight/
No ugly secrets...
"I would have been happy just to go to the bookstore and see you there. I ALWAYS like doing that."
Nny prayed that nothing would destroy this moment. But how could that happen? Suddenly he saw with clarity the futility of him trying to have a 'relationship' with anyone. He couldn't, not someone with his ...lifestyle. But as quickly as they came, those thoughts left, and he was back in the moment.
"But you have to admit; tonight was fun. The conversation, the movie, and that veiw! Looking down on all the people who deserve to be looked down on. Fun!"
Nny smiled inwardly. It *had* been fun... He had never felt so comfertable out in public.
/And I don't want the world to see me/
/'Cause I don't think that they'd understand/
"Yeah, it was very nice; compleatly. I love Brazil: Gilliam is God. Um... Devi?"
Devi pulled herself out of Nny's eyes.
"Yyess?"
"Why did you ask me out? Why did you want to go out with me?"
A small warning light went off in Devi's head, but she ignored it. There were one or two of those 'warnings' going off every time she spoke to someone, they didn't neccisarily mean anything. It was just her past trying to spoil her future. Well she would make sure *that* didn't happen.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm not fishing for compliments or anything like that. I just mean, well, I want to know why you thought of me."
Nny braced himself. What would she say?
/When everything's made to be broken/
/I just want you to know who I am/
"It's simple; I LIKE you. I enjoy our talks, when you come to visit me at the bookstore. I like you for ALL those reasons people ask a person out for. THERE, I've said my thing, now I just hope your thoughts run along the same lines. If not, then I'll just get akward and leave, quietly, after KILLING you."
They paused tensely, then broke into laughter. All unease, all 'shit-filters' melted away. There was nothing false to this laughter, it was an expression of happiness and...
...Dare they imagine?
/And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming/
/Or the moment of truth in your lies/
"Ahhhhh. Yeah. This is strange. What do I say? You are beautiful. I mean... GOD I'm so compleatley happy right now. You've made me HAPPY."
Nny felt dizzy, he couldn't remember anything like this. It was like a dream, or a movie, it was like he wasn't there, but everything was still so real and vibrant. It was lucid and beautiful...
/When everything feels like the movies/
"Good, then let's both be happy."
They inched closer together, their lips poised. Nny blissed, his thoughts were churning like an upset stomach, it felt so right, and yet something felt wrong, amiss, like it shouldn't be, what could...
"Yes! Yes! Happiness! I'm happy!"
/Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive/
"Nny! Where are you going!? Nny!!"
Nny slammed the door behind him, how could he be happy? After all he's done... And yet he is! He is happy, why taint that by wondering if it's deserved?
"Happinesss? Beautiful happinesss. Ahhhh, yesss, so rare. So lovely like the beautiful satars and the dreaming moon...."
Nny let the styrafoam doughboy's monologue continue, his mind swam...
/And I don't want the world to see me/
"Mr. Fuck lies Johnny! No love! No happiness! No moon! Nothing for you! I speak the only truth! Untainted knowledge!"
It was true, and yet...
NO!
"Listen to m-"
"Shut the FUCK up, Physco Doughboy!! I'm in NO mood for a depression now!"
/'Cause I don't think that they'd understand/
"Yessssss! Go Nny! Don't let the beautiful moon set! Capture it! Freeze it! Forever in time with never the memory of losing it to another day!!"
Yes... That was it... The only way...
/When everything's made to be broken/
"Nny? Oh there you..."
/I just want you to know who I am/
"...Are."
/I just want you to know who I am.../
"Nny? Nny, what are you doing?"
"Immortalizing the moment."
Y'know, Nny/Devi is the only romance I've *EVER* been able to enjoy. Maybe because it's so doomed... yes, I am sick. Well, on with the sap!
-------
"Sigh, it's so pretty when you're looking down on it."
"Yes it is. It's an amazing illusion."
"Beautiful."
*Not so much as you.* Nny thought, wincing at how cheesey and white-washed his thoughts seemed tonight, but blissful all the same.
/And I'd give up forever to touch you/
/'Cause I know that you feel me somehow/
Devi looked at Nny and smiled. He seemed so nice. A good conversationalist, if a little quiet, and he liked movies almost as much as she did, maybe more! And, unless her radar was way off, he didn't even look at her 'that way' once. That ment something to her. It was more than just the fact that her endless succesion of shitty dates was making that sort of thing more and more repulsive to her. It told her for sure that he cared about *her* And the feeling was mutual...
/You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be/
Nny felt delerious. He was spinning. It felt like coming out of a sleep, and yet it was pleasent. He couldn't understand or describe it.
/And I don't want to go home right now/
"Would you like to go to your place?"
"Yes."
/And all I can taste is this moment/
/And all I can breathe is your life/
"I really enjoyed tonight Nny."
She meant it. She really meant it, Nny could tell. She wasn't the kind to lie to build herself up socially. Not that saying that to him would help her much *there* He had really enjoyed it too, he just wished he could stop the nagging feeling that something was wrong...
"Really, we should have done this sooner! Why DIDN'T we do this sooner? I mean, we've known each other for, what, about three months now? And this is the first time we've ever actually been out together! What would you have done if I had never asked you out?"
Devi knew she was babbling, and she didn't care. She was on top of the world, and she could really see something with Nny. She could actually see a relationship that survived past the first date. She prayed that nothing would destroy this...
/'Cause sooner or later it's over/
/I just don't want to miss you tonight/
No ugly secrets...
"I would have been happy just to go to the bookstore and see you there. I ALWAYS like doing that."
Nny prayed that nothing would destroy this moment. But how could that happen? Suddenly he saw with clarity the futility of him trying to have a 'relationship' with anyone. He couldn't, not someone with his ...lifestyle. But as quickly as they came, those thoughts left, and he was back in the moment.
"But you have to admit; tonight was fun. The conversation, the movie, and that veiw! Looking down on all the people who deserve to be looked down on. Fun!"
Nny smiled inwardly. It *had* been fun... He had never felt so comfertable out in public.
/And I don't want the world to see me/
/'Cause I don't think that they'd understand/
"Yeah, it was very nice; compleatly. I love Brazil: Gilliam is God. Um... Devi?"
Devi pulled herself out of Nny's eyes.
"Yyess?"
"Why did you ask me out? Why did you want to go out with me?"
A small warning light went off in Devi's head, but she ignored it. There were one or two of those 'warnings' going off every time she spoke to someone, they didn't neccisarily mean anything. It was just her past trying to spoil her future. Well she would make sure *that* didn't happen.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm not fishing for compliments or anything like that. I just mean, well, I want to know why you thought of me."
Nny braced himself. What would she say?
/When everything's made to be broken/
/I just want you to know who I am/
"It's simple; I LIKE you. I enjoy our talks, when you come to visit me at the bookstore. I like you for ALL those reasons people ask a person out for. THERE, I've said my thing, now I just hope your thoughts run along the same lines. If not, then I'll just get akward and leave, quietly, after KILLING you."
They paused tensely, then broke into laughter. All unease, all 'shit-filters' melted away. There was nothing false to this laughter, it was an expression of happiness and...
...Dare they imagine?
/And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming/
/Or the moment of truth in your lies/
"Ahhhhh. Yeah. This is strange. What do I say? You are beautiful. I mean... GOD I'm so compleatley happy right now. You've made me HAPPY."
Nny felt dizzy, he couldn't remember anything like this. It was like a dream, or a movie, it was like he wasn't there, but everything was still so real and vibrant. It was lucid and beautiful...
/When everything feels like the movies/
"Good, then let's both be happy."
They inched closer together, their lips poised. Nny blissed, his thoughts were churning like an upset stomach, it felt so right, and yet something felt wrong, amiss, like it shouldn't be, what could...
"Yes! Yes! Happiness! I'm happy!"
/Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive/
"Nny! Where are you going!? Nny!!"
Nny slammed the door behind him, how could he be happy? After all he's done... And yet he is! He is happy, why taint that by wondering if it's deserved?
"Happinesss? Beautiful happinesss. Ahhhh, yesss, so rare. So lovely like the beautiful satars and the dreaming moon...."
Nny let the styrafoam doughboy's monologue continue, his mind swam...
/And I don't want the world to see me/
"Mr. Fuck lies Johnny! No love! No happiness! No moon! Nothing for you! I speak the only truth! Untainted knowledge!"
It was true, and yet...
NO!
"Listen to m-"
"Shut the FUCK up, Physco Doughboy!! I'm in NO mood for a depression now!"
/'Cause I don't think that they'd understand/
"Yessssss! Go Nny! Don't let the beautiful moon set! Capture it! Freeze it! Forever in time with never the memory of losing it to another day!!"
Yes... That was it... The only way...
/When everything's made to be broken/
"Nny? Oh there you..."
/I just want you to know who I am/
"...Are."
/I just want you to know who I am.../
"Nny? Nny, what are you doing?"
"Immortalizing the moment."