Title: Everything I've Ever Known

By: Rage's Slash

Chapter 10: Close

It had been a two weeks since what they all seemed to deem the event happened. Since then Percy was arrested and sentenced to Azkaban. It was published in the Daily Prophet before all of the arrests that it was discovered that Lucius Malfoy had escaped. Once the papers had the story Lucius went into deeper hiding, not contacting anyone but Draco which suited him. His father needn't know that he spilled the beans on what he was forcing him to do. Luckily since the arrests were kept quiet and Voldermort hadn't found out either. Draco still sent Lucius money weekly, withdrawing similar amounts each week from his own vault. He wasn't able to meet with Lucius which he was grateful for. He may hate the man and dared to defy him but he still feared him.

Since the incident he and Ron began to spend time together, only studying and never alone. They were always within their group, Blaise, Seamus, Hermione, Harry and even sometimes Neville, Ginny and Pansy. Draco couldn't face being alone with him. He knew that Ron would never hurt him the way they did but he couldn't shake the one moment of doubt that he had in Ron. He couldn't lose the image of insane rage look he had in his eyes that day. No matter how much he wanted to be held by the redhead, to feel his lips on him once again, he couldn't bring himself to say so. He was also afraid that Ron wouldn't want him anymore. After all, Ron did see him with his brother. He thought that somewhere, in the back of Ron's mind, he saw Draco as dirty, tarnished. These thoughts were only amplified by the fact that Ron never once attempted to touch Draco ever again since the event.

Ron, on the other hand, thought that Draco was effect by all of this in a way any victim would be. He'd studied signs of abuse and rape victims when he began to study under Madame Pomfrey. It was only natural for people to become withdrawn and dislike physical contact from others. He knew all of the steps it took for someone to begin the healing process and he would allow Draco as much time and space he needed. He would go completely by the book with this, as hard as it would be, he wouldn't act impulsively. He would simply get to know Draco as a platonic friend before even attempting to become more with him. As much as he enjoyed the thought of getting to know Draco without his raging hormones telling him to only go in one direction, he couldn't help but stare at Draco and wish to kiss him one more time and then start their platonic friendship. Every time he neared the blond he couldn't help but lean into his warmth, all the while making sure he never touched him. He couldn't help but smile every time Draco smiled, and to frown every time he would become lost in some thought.

They were all sitting in the corner of the library at a large round table, books spread out but all forgotten in their current conversation. Ron sat next to Seamus, sitting next to Blaise, then came Draco, Hermione, and Harry. This was their normal seating arrangement. Ron thought that Draco would feel more comfortable sitting next to a girl and his best friend rather than him so this had become their permanent seating arrangement.

"How on earth can you two be so reckless that you were caught by Snape, of all people?" Hermione exclaimed, causing the students of the round table to break out in a hushed laughter.

"It wasn't my fault!" Seamus stressed.

"Oh yeah, like it was completely my fault that you, the guy who claims to be innocent in the whole matter, decided to grab me from behind and shove me into a small hallway right by his office. I'm so sorry. I can see how I am fully to blame." Blaise chuckled, holding his hand over his heart and turning his body towards Seamus. "Can you find it somewhere deep within your heart to forgive me?" He pleaded, holding his hands in prayer position in front of him.

"Oh ha ha. Laugh it up, all of you. You know I remember when it was your fault that we were caught by Draco and I took full blame for it."

"When did Draco catch you two?" Ron asked with a wide grin on his face.

"For the record Blaise asked me to meet with him to talk about something, I still have no clue what, and he 'forgot' he was meeting with me." Draco said laughing at the situation.

"Ok, I take full credit for that one, because I thought I could meet with you, talk to you for a bit then meet Seamus. But it's not fully my fault."

"How so?" Draco asked, putting down his pen and crossing his arms.

"I didn't know he was so eager that he'd show up half an hour early!" Blaise said, receiving an elbow in the ribs from Seamus.

"I was not eager. I told you that I finished class and decided to sit and do some homework while I waited for you."

"Oh I'll bet. That's why the instant you walked in the room and saw me you dropped everything and just jumped me." They all laughed.

The conversation continued quite like this for a while. Harry decided to sit back and watch the conversation play out, hoping no one would bring up the fact that he too walked in on them once. A small part of him knew that they would never bring up the night of the event, but there was always a chance someone would forget what happened after and just stick to Harry walking in on them. Since that night and the day after Harry realized that what he truly had for Seamus was a passing infatuation because now he felt nothing for the boy. He couldn't see himself with Seamus any longer. The thought of it seemed wrong, and not because he was a guy, but because they both were in love with other people. It wouldn't be right or fair to Hermione or Blaise. Even though he no longer had feelings for the boy he was still determined to talk to Hermione about it, he just never found the time or the moment to tell her. She was always studying and he was constantly taking extra lessons from Dumbledore, but he would and soon. He feared that the longer he kept this from her the worse it would get.

"Come on everyone, we have Defense in 15 minutes and I refuse to be late." Hermione said as she begun to pack her things and the rest of them mimicked her.

They all followed her to the classroom and took their respective seats. Although Ron and Draco were still paired in the mists of a full classroom he still worried that Draco would be uncomfortable. He always made sure that he sat as far from Draco without him noticing, or so he thought. Today Draco finally decided that he'd had enough and moved his chair slightly closer to Ron's than usual. No matter what fears he had from that small brief moment of Ron, he wanted to be closer to the boy who plagued his dreams and chased away his nightmares. When Ron noticed this and saw that his chair was already at the edge of the table he decided to sit down, moving his chair slightly further back, wondering why the last class left the chairs so close together.

"Now class today we I will be giving you a lecture on…" Lupin's voice faded into the background of their minds for both boys. Ron was too busy trying to maintain a cool and calm exterior from being so close to Draco, and Draco was too busy trying to figure out how to get Ron to let him get closer.

An idea formed in Draco's mind. Draco pulled out his wand and cast a spell on his quill so that it would take notes for him and placed it on the table. He shifted his chair back and closer to Ron slightly. He crossed his legs, leaned back and to the side, his arm effectively making contact with Ron hearing a small barely noticeable gasp from him. He then slowly laid his head on Ron's shoulder and closed his eyes. He felt the warmth radiating off of the boy. He could feel the change in his breathing and the quickening of his pulse as he laid there. He hoped Ron wouldn't shove him off.

Ron closed his eyes as well when Draco slowly laid his head on his shoulder. He couldn't help but wonder if it was a moment of madness. He thought he was giving Draco some much needed space, but maybe Draco was finally feeling okay enough to be close to him. Either way Ron felt his heart rate pick up and worried where his blood was rushing to. He decided to shift, hoping Draco wouldn't see it as a negative sign. He placed his ankle on his knee, moved his bottom further towards the edge of the seat and moved his right arm to rest on the back of Draco's chair, opening his chest to Draco as a pillow. He looked at the boy and for a moment when he moved and Draco lifted himself off of Ron he saw the hurt in his eyes. Maybe Draco didn't really need space. But the moment Ron offered Draco a place back in his arms he saw a smile from him that would surly light up the darkest room. He couldn't help but smile back at him as the blond moved back into his arms. They sat in this position throughout the entire class, perfectly content in the warmth they could finally feel.

So much so, they didn't notice Blaise take a magical picture of them with his wand and smile to Seamus at their small devious actions.

Defense was soon over and as the rest of the students began to file out of the room they sat there contently for a moment, tuning the world out around them. It was Draco who moved first to pack his things. Ron having not bothered to take anything out sat there watching him. Draco was meticulous; everything had its place as he put his school items into his bag. It was as if the blond planed everything out and thought of its place and purpose. Lupin soon left the room, giving Ron a slight nod, leaving them alone for the first time in two weeks.

Draco sat back, needing Ron's warmth, with a sigh. "I'm so tired." He closed his eyes and leaned back on to Ron's chest again.

"How have you been sleeping?" Ron asked in a small voice. He was nervous, more nervous than he had ever been in talking to Draco.

"Okay I suppose." Draco said with heaviness in his voice. He felt like he was forcing himself to give a response without revealing too much.

"I thought you were sleeping in on the weekends, you only ever show up for lunch and Blaise said you sleep with your curtains closed now." Ron moved his had so that it could rub Draco's arm soothingly.

"Secretly spying on me Ronald?" Draco chuckled.

"No." Ron quickly said defensively. "No, I'm not, I was just concerned." Draco smiled, liking the fact that Ron still cared in some way about him.

"Hm." He hummed as he snuggled deeper into the nook that was Ron's arm, needing the warmth that radiated off of the fiery red head only now realizing how cold he'd been the past two weeks.

"Don't fall asleep. There might be another class coming in here soon." Ron whispered, turning his head so his chin rested on the blonds' head closing his eyes. "Are you staying here over Christmas Break?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes," Draco whispered back, "I'm going to visit my mother the day after Christmas." He had things to take care of because if he didn't, and soon, Lucius and Voldermort would find out of his indiscretion.

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"Ron, it's my mother. I have to visit her. She is not a Death Eater and as much as I have been trying to hide everything from her I believe it's time she knew what happened here recently." Draco said in a low voice, closing his eyes.

"Did she know about…" As much as Ron never wanted to bring it up he knew it couldn't exactly be avoided.

"In some ways yes and in others no." Draco sat up and turned to face the red head. "She thought it all ended when Lucius went to Azkaban. She had no clue until the reports in the paper that he was out the entire time. She's sent me a letter asking if I was alright and if he'd contacted me."

"What have you told her?" Ron gave the blond a concerned look.

"Nothing, I haven't replied to her yet." Draco sighed, leaning forward to place the top of his head on Ron's chest. Ron moved his hand to place it on the top of his head smoothening out his hair.

"Don't think about it just yet, not until you've seen her." Ron leaned down to place a kiss on his head. "Those of us who are staying are having a proper Christmas Party. You're more than welcome to come." He said, trying to change the subject.

"That sounds nice. Where?" Thanking Merlin that Ron changed the subject. He already had too much on his mind as it was.

"The Room of Requirements. Blaise is coming, as well as Seamus, Hermione, Harry, maybe Dean and Ginny as well."

"I'll be there." Draco said, looking up at Ron. They were so close; Draco could feel Ron's breath falling from Ron's lips onto his lips that he quickly glanced to then back to the pools of blue. He wanted to be this close to Ron for the past two weeks but fear always won and never allowed him to. They were mere inches away and in this moment his fear of the angered Ron had faded.

"Draco, I-" Ron began, shaking his head, but he was never able to finish the sentence.

He was pulled into a chaste kiss by the blond who snaked his hand around his neck. The kiss was gentle and sweet, almost innocent. He couldn't resist wrapping is arm around Draco's waist, pulling him closer, deepening their kiss. He couldn't resist squeezing the blond closer to him, needing to feel as close to him as possible. Draco wrapped both his arms around Ron's neck as he was pulled to sit on the stronger boy, effectively straddling him. He continued kissing Ron as two hands were placed on his hips. He felt Ron slowly trailing his hands up his sides, somehow pulling his tucked in shirt up as he did so. As soon as he felt Ron's hand travel to feel his skin under his shirt though, he froze.

"Stop," He whispered, pulling back from the kiss, keeping his eyes closed. He couldn't do this and he couldn't figure out why.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I jus-" Draco gave him a small kiss again.

"It's ok, I'm fine. Honestly," He opened his eyes and saw the concern written all over the red heads face. "We should go." Draco said, getting up to tuck in his shirt and grab his bag. He needed time to think.

"Ok," was all Ron said as he moved to grab his bag. They both left the room, without another word. When they came to the point where they would have to go separate ways to their dorms they looked back to each other.

"Ron I'm sorry." Draco said looking down as Ron moved closer to him.

"You have nothing to apologize for Draco, I should be apologizing. I shouldn't have gotten so swept up in the moment." Draco smiled chuckling as Ron whispered to him and placed a hand on his neck.

"I'll see you later?" He asked looking up at him.

"Definitely." Ron smiled and Draco leaned up once again to place a small kiss on his lips before leaving.

Walking away from Ron felt as if he was leaving the something that kept his days bright and his nights warm. He knew he cared for Ron, he even thought that he might love him at some points. But he couldn't understand why it was that whenever he comes close to Ron in an intimate way he would clam up. He'd been with so many people before he just couldn't understand why he was so afraid of being with the boy of his dreams. Maybe it was that he was afraid that he would mess up the one good thing he'd ever had? Or was it that he just wanted whatever he had with Ron to be special, something not rushed? It was either that or he was messed up beyond repair he thought as he threw himself onto his bed. Why was everything so complicated?

He had to get things under control, set the meetings, call the solicitor and see his mother in a matter of seven days. And now he had a Christmas Party to endure. He hoped there would be booze there, and lots of it.

A/N: Next Chapter will be the Christmas Party. Yes a Christmas party when we are all enduring an August/September, lucky bastards. Please r/r! I love hearing from you guys. It keeps me warm at night.