A/N: I had a good response to this on lj so I thought I'd post it here too! I have a massive weakness for fic where Jack has to work to get Ianto back and I've always thought that Ianto gave in way too easy in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (even though I love the office scene), so here is my version of what went down when Jack asked Ianto out on a date. This is seriously the longest thing I've ever written for any fandom, so I'm feeling really pleased with myself! Also, this is the first time I've written from Jack's POV (for some reason I just find Ianto easier) so concrit would be good.


'I'm sorry Jack, but...no.'

And to top it all off, Ianto did seem extremely apologetic, so apologetic in fact that Jack was almost sorry that he'd asked in the first place.

But not quite.

He was the one who'd put himself out there, in the line of fire for God's sake and hadn't Ianto done a fantastic job of shooting him dead and gone? So why the hell was he on the verge of dropping down onto his knees in front of Ianto (oh God didn't that thought throw up some delicious images?) in contrition, begging for forgiveness for a misdeed, that he was pretty sure was in no way related to his 51st century person being dropped into the 21st's moral dumping ground? He was at a bit of a loss really, the only thing he could think of for Ianto's refusal of his more than sincere offer, seemed a little (ok, a lot) unlikely.

'You haven't been hit over the head unexpectedly, have you?'

'No, Jack.'

He could have sworn he heard those eyes roll.

Well, if he'd been bewildered before, he was downright flummoxed now. Admittedly, he hadn't exactly rocked up with a bunch of flowers and chocolates in hand, but that came after anyway didn't it? If he were the kind of person who was prone to making lists, (which he wasn't, because who really needed lists when you had Ianto) he would have checked this off as a success without even waiting to hear Ianto's answer. Some would call it arrogance, overconfidence if they were being kind. He called it the Jack Harkness Effect. No one could resist charm like that for more than five minutes (and that was his extreme estimate), except perhaps Owen, who he'd always regarded as unnatural anyway. But to say no, just no with no explanations or justification, well that was unacceptable, downright criminal!

'Ianto, when you say no, what do you mean exactly?' That was a reasonable enough question. Surely he deserved an elaboration on what no exactly meant in this context. He had never been particularly attuned to the nuances of the spoken word; he had almost always let his body language do the talking.

'Well Jack no really just means...no.'

'But why?' Oh Lord, he was whining! Actually whining, over Ianto! Dear God, this was unacceptable, the situation clearly needed remedying and immediately at that.

'Look Ianto, I know the way I left. Well, I know it wasn't right. I shouldn't have... I mean I wasn't fair...on you...?' And damn him, if that hadn't come out sounding like a question he needed clarification on. Why was it suddenly so difficult to talk to Ianto? Before he'd gone away with the Doctor, before the Mas-...before what happened, he had been able to spout out hundreds of ways he wanted Ianto spread out under him. And now, well now that had all gone out of the window. He had been reduced to this dribbling, stuttering, mumbling thing. And Captain Jack was no thing and definitely no dribbling thing. Heaving a sigh he tried to redeem himself in Ianto's eyes with his extreme articulateness and his own brand of excessively charming (and definitely not sleazy) charm.

'Look Ianto I just want you to know that, well I...I missed you.' And he had, once the first flush of excitement from being back with the Doctor – not his Doctor anymore unfortunately – had faded away, and when he had thought back to his team fending for themselves, he had missed them. More than he thought he could.

'No you look Jack. I know exactly what you missed. I don't know where you've been, and I can see you're not going to tell us anytime soon, but I'm assuming that wherever you were you didn't exactly have it available to you on tap. I'll tell you what you missed. You missed a willing body. You missed sex, no strings attached. No questions asked. No demands made on you. Do you seriously think I want to start that up again? Do you really think asking me out on a date first, before you try to get into my pants is going to make me fall all over you in gratitude? Well Jack? Do you really think that I'm that desperate?'

The words burst out of Ianto in a torrent of anger, eyes flashing as he unleashed all that had been bottled up tight under that calm exterior. And Jack could do nothing but stare, because really when had Ianto stopped being the pathetically dependant one in this not-relationship? Jack had obviously made an enormous error in judgement. When he had decided to pursue this as of yet unnamed thing that lurked between them, he had not imagined that Ianto would say no so definitively. He had thought that Ianto would take some persuading naturally, he didn't have any reason to trust Jack and his intentions after the way he had left after all. A little wining and dining and he had assumed that they would have drifted to a close approximation to what they had been before his sojourn with the Doctor. Of course he wanted Ianto back in his bed/desk/autopsy table (yeah, that last one was an interesting setup), but that didn't mean he wasn't serious about dating. He had truly realised that there was something missing in his life. He was so tired, so, so tired of being lonely. He was fed up with closing himself off from other people, tired of standing apart from everyone else even as he stood right next to them. He didn't need or want this separation anymore. He wanted something real, someone he could cling to who would cling right back.

And in his mind, that wasn't Gwen, lovely beautiful Gwen. As much as he needed her to open his eyes at times, as much as he valued her as a member of his team, she wasn't for him. They were two magnets of the same polarity, repelling each other even as they struggled to grasp each other's hands to guide themselves to something that could work. But it couldn't work; she wanted the hero she saw him as through those rose tinted spectacles. She wanted the fairytale that only those lucky few got. In all her dreams and fanciful weavings she forgot something Ianto never did.

He was no damn Prince Charming.

And that's what he wanted. Someone who saw him for what he was. Ianto did that. Ianto didn't pretend that Jack couldn't be cruel sometimes; he didn't and hadn't forgotten that he could be a complete and utter dick when it came to other people's emotions. He'd tread on them without thinking and then turn around and say sorry a month after the fact. Ianto knew this and had put up with him, over his being a bastard, even over his mooning over Gwen, over everything. And now he had destroyed the fledgling bond they had been building and crushed it under the weight of his selfishness.

As he stared straight into those cloudy irises, he had so much to say, stuff he should have said before now, things that he had tried to say and had somehow gotten lost in translation. And he carried on looking, his gaze boring into the back of Ianto's skull as he turned away.

As he walked away from Jack.

'Because I'm really not that desperate Jack.'