Misappliance

"I don't care what he did, who he's related to, or just how incredible the results were. I want that civilian off my base now. Five minutes ago!"

"But sir – "

"Do I need to make myself any clearer, Major?"

"No, sir."

"Jack, was he always this much of a walking nuisance when you were growing up?"

"Um, no, sir – "

"Somehow, I find that hard to believe!"

" – well, I was about to say, sir, no, sir, he was usually even more trouble. This was mild. Real mild."

"General Hammond. I would entreat you to calm yourself. The situation is under control for the moment, and precipitate action will not change anything."

"Teal'c, you're not tryin' to excuse him, are you?"

"Indeed not. But – we were victorious."

"Teal'c does have a point, General. The Goa'uld attack failed. The Ancient device that Anubis was trying to use is – if you'll excuse the expression – toast – and – "

"Son, if you're tryin' to calm me down, it's not gonna help to mention any more kitchen appliances right at the moment."

"Sir, please. I'm sure we can get the Stargate working again. I admit it wasn't designed to emit that kind of radiation, certainly not at that frequency or intensity, but we've had serious problems with it before and we've always managed. And sir, I could use his help."

"As in, he fried it, he fixes it?"

"Jack, what did I just say about kitchen appliances?"

"And an ordinary microwave transmitter wouldn't have been anywhere near powerful enough – "

"Major Carter, I believe your point has been made."

"People, I can't believe you're making excuses for this man. How am I supposed to tell the Joint Chiefs of Staff that we're going to need a new Stargate because this MacGyver fellow made a toaster out of the old one?"

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