I'll simply say beacoup thanks to Alexis Danaan for giving me and idea for this chapter; to Hammerhips for her patience while I morphed the voices into my head into something coherent and for saying if anyone could write it, I could; and to JaspersDestiny for whipping my ass with her betaing.

The much anticipated…

Chapter 32

CharliePOV - Barber, Violin Concerto, Op. 14: II. Andante

Just call me a vamp on a mission.

Sooo, the last three weeks.

Frustrating? Is the Pope Catholic?

Hard? Just ask my johnson.

Only so many things a guy like me can come up with to…pass the time. Just so many things you can do in an attempt to give your gal space and find –

Aw, fuck, I didn't know what I was trying to find.

Just doing what I thought would help. Yeah, I was…aggravated that first night, that first week. When she walked out of that tent with the sleeping bag over her shoulders, knowing she was still buck naked underneath…well, that image stuck with me for days, every stinkin' inch of me ready to…

Vamp or no vamp, this shit was tough.

I just had to get away.

I had been a cop. I was supposed to know better, to be what she needed, to do what she needed me to do. I couldn't help it if every time I looked at her, I wanted to…It had been that way, since that very first time I saw her, all confused and helpless on the side of the 121, since I pulled her out of the street and away from that speeding car, and right smack dab into my arms.

I'd never thought so much in my life, except for maybe with Renee. But even that didn't compare. She made up her mind, and left with my daughter. Done deal.

I'd never tried so hard before either. Unknown to Catherine, or the Cullens even, I'd been testing my control by running the forests and the land that I'd been born on, grown up on, hunted on, and patrolled. I knew nearly every inch of it, but being what I now was made it all different, almost new. I never went very far, but I needed to figure out myself – not only my head but this new…thing I was, what I was capable of, and how much of this control I really had. Picking up the smell of the wolves was easy; they stank to high heaven. I steered clear of what I knew were human hotspots, though, or heavily populated areas, but as soon as I got a whiff of them I hightailed it in a different direction. The first time I'd smelled them…yeah, that one had been difficult, almost to the point where I nearly blew it. It had been her; a quick flash of her sitting up there waiting for me to come back. How I would tell her, explain what I'd done, turned my ass in the other direction.

Running also helped me appreciate the flight response that Catherine seemed to have. As fast as we were able to run, to say it felt like flying didn't even come close, but it did have a way of clearing the mind like in a way I'd never understood before, if only because I'd never been able to do it. To let go. Surrounded by the Cullens, or with Catherine, I hadn't given myself time to adjust to any of it, being so damn worried about her since…well, since meeting her, really.

But I always came back to her. I'd made that promise to her, and it was a promise I wasn't going to forget.

I knew she was sitting up there on our mountain, doing what she needed to do and reading whatever she could find on that phone. When she showed me how to "surf" the web, I made sure to hit every news site I could find, even Chicago, to see what was being circulated. There had been a few things written about how Catherine went missing on a trip to Seattle, how she had been with me, and of her mom pleading to whomever had information to come forward.

I really hoped she never saw that one.

Only once did she make the mistake of leaving a page up of what she'd been reading, and it had been a victim's site about her experience, her advice for relationships and sex after…

Rape.

I read that one, too.

I'd spent the next outing of mine saying that word out loud, acknowledging that my girl, my mate, had been raped and viciously tortured, while I was forced to watch.

That had been one of my longer runs.

I knew it was imperative to admit it to myself, not that I hadn't already, but I'd realized that I'd never said the word in our conversation, even though she had…even though Carlisle had made her. I'd read everything I could on what it might be like, what she might be thinking and how she might react. Beyond the triggers, beyond the flashbacks, there were signs and symptoms that were solely human though. I didn't know if she would feel physical pain; I doubted it, but who knew as a vampire? It's not like there was Vampipedia.

Saying it had been rough was like saying walking on hot coals was just a stroll in the park. After the weeks of believing that my touch helped her, that holding her would…make it all go away, I accepted that it wasn't enough. I didn't want her to think that it was all we had, all we were going to have, and yet spooking her again, or having her feel like she had to prove something to me, just wasn't right either.

I had to let her be, to let her go, if we were going to figure this shit out.

But getting some distance, some perspective, when you're secluded on the side of mountain, miles away from family, is hard. Not to mention because you're a newborn vampire, you may take out a human if one just happens to cross your path. I'd been in some jams in my life, serious jams, but this one…this one had my insides tearing in two, vamp or no vamp.

Not to mention the imminent threat of the Volturi. It was only a matter of time before they realized their vampire assassin was no more. The cards had been deal, and it wasn't a hand ol' Aro would be anticipating. There were ten of us, who knew how many wolves, but I was sure as shit the Volturi had the numbers, especially if they brought more of those witnesses, as Carlisle had called them. Even though Carlisle said he'd called in reinforcements for that first meeting, if only to prove to Aro what Nessie really was, if the Volturi came again I hoped Carlisle had more phone numbers—a rolodex full. Did people still use rolodexes? There was one on my desk at the station. Something told me Carlisle was the type to keep one. A list of vamp friends was definitely not something I'd keep on a computer.

If we could round up more of us, more men, maybe it'd keep the women safe. I wasn't too keen on the idea of any of the women being involved, even being near any of it, especially Bella and Catherine. But it was hard to dispute the fact that we might need them both. Bella's shield, from what I understood of it, could make all the difference, and Catherine's ability along with Edward's could give us a leg up. Then there was the issue of how many vamps would be descending on Forks. My town. They may have been here the first time without me knowing it, but they damn well weren't going to be again. Problem was they weren't as amenable to keeping their teeth out of people I knew. Fuck, I didn't even know if I was. They'd be hungry, and not just for the Cullens' asses, and they wouldn't be at all partial to the Cullens' ways.

Hell, I might be one of them, but that didn't mean I had to like the thought of them suckin' people I knew dry.

If that weren't enough, there was the news about Catherine and me. There'd been that blip on one of the sites about evidence found in my and Catherine's case being "inconclusive". The only evidence that my guys could possibly have were the sheets that had been on Catherine's bed, and what that asshole had left on them when he'd actually been in her cabin. God only knew what the results had really been, or how any information had leaked out to the media. Which either meant my guys were slipping…

Or shit was about to get serious.

Either way, if my guys had called in the bigger guns - Seattle or the Feds - things might heat up for the Cullens, and none of us needed them sniffing around right now, even if they were just doing their damndest to find us. Nothing had been said about the clothing the boys had left on the beach, and it was too soon for Alice's plan with the cell phone to have yielded results.

Time. Shit, that word just aggravated me even more.

We just needed time. Catherine needed time—time she may not have, time we may not have. After that episode on the lake, I was damn sure she wasn't ready. That next morning, standing there naked under a sleeping bag, her hair all messed like we'd…and jumping nearly five yards away from me when I'd stood up from the ledge…it was more than a tell, even with her arms around her, holding tight to that sleeping bag. Emmett tried to sneak in by the lake with the fishing gear, not that he could really sneak. I'd seen him from my perch, where I'd been all night. He didn't even look up. He just ran in, set it down, and ran back out again. Although I knew it was Alice's doing, it was what I needed. Fishing always gave me…perspective.

So did Bubba.

Yeah, so I named my rock.

Bubba and I had many conversations those weeks, even though I kept my voice low to keep Catherine from hearing. He'd kicked my ass a few times. I'd responded by making him a tad smaller than he had been. We'd been good for each other.

But the day it poured and Catherine and I were stuck in the tent together had been…different. Her giggling had been more beautiful than anything I'd ever heard before, better than even that music of hers that sometimes floated down to me while I sat on Bubba and caught fish I would never eat again.

To see that smile, to hear that laugh…it was then that I realized what I needed to do.

I'd seen enough on my runs, and I knew exactly which ones I wanted. Every spot I remembered, every different color and kind I could possibly find, including a lot of pink, one of which would be perfect for what I had in mind. I had to show her, somehow, that while some things were different, that we were different, there was one thing that would never change, never disappear, and never die.

When I finally had an armload, I stopped to bunch them together, winding some fishing line around them, although it took me a few tries before I got it around them and tied into a knot without busting the line. I took out a few of them too, so I had to run back to get more.

Damn vamp strength.

As soon as I had them all set, I ran back to the mountain clutching the bundle against my chest to protect them, just like I wanted to protect her. Forever.

I knew she'd hear me coming, so when I got in range I shoved them behind my back, not wanting her to see them. As I came up over the last ridge, she was sitting on the grass, picking at blades until she looked up at me. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to say. I hadn't thought to write anything down.

Not that I had anything to write with. Probably would've broken the damn pen anyway.

"Hi." Yeah, that opening will blow her away.

"You're back."

"Yeah, I…" Shit. Did vamps lose their nerve? Naw, not possible.

I chanced getting a little closer, a lot closer actually, walking the few steps as she got up. She didn't flinch, didn't back away, and the corners of her mouth slowly stretched into a grin.

Hurdle one cleared.

"I sorta found these. For you." Whipping my hand around, I held out the flowers I'd picked, my eyes glued to her for any bad sign, but the grin she'd had just grew and grew, until it was that same smile like she had in the tent the other day.

"Wildflowers! Char—Chief…they're lovely. Thank you." Her emphasis on the Chief part didn't go unnoticed. I don't think the woman fully understood what hearing that did to me.

"I have something…something important I need to say to you. I know I haven't said much these past few weeks, but that was only because—"

"It's okay. I understand." She hid her nose in the flowers as she said it, taking a whiff.

"No, I…aw, hell…" Rubbing the back of my neck, I glanced up to see her giving me a look like I had a big blood-shot eye right in the middle of my forehead.

"Bear with me here, okay?"

The concern on her face as one of her hands left the bundle and reached out to grab mine nearly did me in. "What is it? Is everything okay? The Cullens? Did something happen?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that. I think you'd know before I would if they came out here." I took her hand and stared at it a bit, again amazed at how soft it was and how small it was engulfed by mine. Slowly sliding my fingers over the top of it, I wasn't sure whether I was trying to comfort her, or myself.

"I know these past few weeks have been rough."

"Shhhh. There's no need for you to explain, I know—"

"Please, let me just…get this out." I placed her hand against my chest and held it there, until I found the balls to look at her in her eye. "I want to do this right, I want to do right by you, but considering our current…uh, predicament, that may not be possible, so…"

I dropped to one knee, still holding her hand. With everything I was feeling stirring like a hornet's nest and buzzing up her arm, I said, "I want you with me, by my side, my partner, for whatever this world throws at us. I have no clue what it will be, or how it will be, I just know I can't do it without you."

Bowing my head for a sec to collect myself, I kissed her fingertips before gently tugging her hand and pressing it to my heart again, even if it wasn't beating anymore. She didn't hesitate to move forward, she didn't even flinch, but I could feel the nerves firing inside her. As I lifted my head back up to look at her, her eyes opened wider. It made me want to chuckle, actually, so I faked clearing my throat. "Would you do me the honor of…of marrying me, Cath? I mean, Catherine Scarlett O'Hara? I don't know how, or when, or where, but I want you to know I'm never letting you go."

Her mouth opened as if to say something, and with it a jolt shot straight into my chest where I still clutched her hand. It stayed like that, that gorgeous mouth of hers, for way too long. If I'd still been human, I'd have been pitting out.

"Uh, you're supposed to say something here."

That bottom lip of hers that had been hanging open wobbled a bit, but nothing came out. I'd started to softly run my thumb over the top of her hand again, when suddenly she dropped to her knees and threw her other arm—the bundle of flowers be damned—around my neck. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you, whenever, wherever, if ever."

Hurdle number two cleared. Sweet Jesus, thank you.

My hands which had somehow found their way to her hips, slowly moved to skim the small of her back until the energy from her nearly bowled me over. It was more intense, more positive than it had ever been, and I pulled us closer, losing myself in it, in her, as I kissed that spot just under her ear and mumbled into her skin, "That."

"W—what?" She'd been tilting her head as I trailed my lips along the side of her neck, but she craned back ever so slightly to look at me.

I worked my hand up underneath her curls, cradling her, as I met her now wide, almost glossy-looking eyes. "That was what I missed all these weeks. The way you make me feel. The way you're looking at me right now. More than anything."

The flowers suddenly hit the back of my calf.

"Me too," she whispered.

If I could remember the expression on her face, the look in her eyes and the way they held mine, the curl that fell just off to the right on her forehead, the way she pressed her head back a little into my hand, those lips that were just waiting…

"Fff—I mean, dammit, I almost forgot!" My sudden declaration of stupidity had that little v-thingy making its return. "Sorry, I…" I didn't want to let her go, but I did, and I reached around to my back pocket and pulled out the one flower I'd saved, holding it up to her. "It's the best I can do." She leaned back just enough to see it, her confusion growing. I took the opportunity to maneuver her left hand where it had been resting on my shoulder into mine.

Slowly, Swan.

"Marry me. Somehow, someday," I muttered, sneaking a glance at her whilegently winding the stem around her finger. I took a deep, unneeded breath to steady my hands and slowly made one loop, then another. I pulled the ends as if it were the most delicate thing on Earth—next to her—and knotted it underneath, straightening the pink-petaled part to the top of her finger where a diamond should be when I finished. "I know it won't last forever, but it's pink, and it's—"

"Perfect."

"I love you, Catherine. Always will. No matter what happens."

For what seemed like forever, her eyes did that searching thing with mine, before her palm was on my cheek and she leaned closer.

"That," again I watched as the corners of her mouth stretched into a grin, "was the most romantic proposal a girl could ever ask for, and this is the most beautiful ring on earth." Her expression turned serious, her eyes wandering over my face until they stopped and stared into my own. "I love you, too, no matter what happens. For eternity."

She inched her head closer even more, and I knew it was okay to finally do what I'd been wanting to do for days, weeks even.

Just to feel them again.

Cautiously at first, I simply brushed my lips over hers, as if they were as fragile as the makeshift ring on her finger. Even as their familiar softness sent a rush through me, I held back, until she pressed her body into mine, her mouth eager. As her fingers that had been on my cheek found their way into my hair, I couldn't ignore the zings they sent through me and slowly wrapped my arm around her tiny waist, drawing her closer to let her feel all the love I had.

It was better than a 4th of July fireworks finale.

Even as her lips parted, our tongues searching, finding, it was as if time was finally standing still for us. She gave off no reservations, none of the usual quivers that told me she was hesitant. I put everything I had into that kiss, and I kept kissing her. The softness of her tongue over my own was like being home again, and I knew some of the old Cath, the human Cath, the Cath before everything had happened to us, was finally kissing me back.

My Cath.

"Help me, Chief," she said as she broke away slowly tugging at the neckline of my shirt. I knew there was more to it than just getting my shirt off, but I let go of her and raised my arms as she slowly pulled it over my head.

I found her eyes again, those beautiful golden eyes, which even in the setting sun reflected her determination. "Every step, baby."

With that, she drew my hands to her waist, squeezing my fingers over her shirt. Tugging gently at first, her slight nod gave me the go ahead I needed to slowly pull it over her head and send it flying.

Pink. She has on a pink bra.

Charlie, Jr., twitched.

CathPOV - Wagner, Tristan and Isolde: Liebestod and Finzi, Romance for String Orchestra in E Flat Major, Op. 11

As I lifted my arms for Charlie to pull my t-shirt off, I kept repeating in my head the words he'd just said.

Every step, baby. Every step, baby. Every step, baby…

He'd just ask me to marry him with flowers he had picked himself, the most precious one of all around my finger. Even though I knew the wedding of my dreams was out of the question, it didn't matter. All I wanted to do was be with him, again, and for forever.

"That was what I missed all these weeks. The way you make me feel. The way you're looking at me right now. More than anything." Those words he'd said to me, it was as if he'd been in my head those hours before he'd returned, and it made me bring my hand to where my heart had once beaten, the one that would always be his.

But he must've taken it the wrong way. "You okay?" His hand suddenly cupped my jaw, bringing my chin up.

"Yeah," I heard my own breathy voice say as his hand dropped from my chin to cover my own. I'd been so absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't realize my hand was actually covering one of the bite marks.

Overcome them by replacing them with thoughts and actions of the love you and Charlie have for each other…

With the memory of Carlisle's words to me, I finally looked up at Charlie. He attempted to hide his anxiety, but he couldn't hide it from me, the worry etched in every familiar corner of his face. Somewhere in the midst of it, the crinkle of his forehead, the way his eyes narrowed as he concentrated on mine, I knew what I wanted him to do.

"Kiss them, Chief. Kiss them all." His grip on my hand loosened, and I watched as his face went from a look of concern to one of disbelief. I could see in it his eyes—the way he looked at me, the uncertainty— even if I couldn't feel it from him. "Put your mouth where his was." I gradually withdrew my hand from beneath his and reached behind me for the back of my bra.

His hands were suddenly on my arms. "Wait!" He pulled them back until they were at my sides. "Let me," he softly said. His eyes never left mine as his hands roamed up my arms, and I noticed how smooth they were, their coarseness gone with the change. He slowly slid the pink satin from my shoulders, feather-light fingertips gliding across my skin until each strap dangled loosely against my upper arms. Those same fingertips trailed a path to the side of my neck, his eyes following the movement as he traced over the mark. I could see by the way he looked at it that he was struggling. A flashback of his own or something else, I didn't know, but I instantly reached for him, my hands landing just at the base of his ribs, feeling his indecision until his head slowly leaned in. His lips were soft, deliberate, the prickly tickle of his mustache running the same course. Nipping lightly, he trailed his tongue around my scar then down on a path to collar bone, before suddenly stopping and hesitating over the one on my breast.

"Please. Please do this," I whispered.

All of a sudden his arms were around my waist lifting me up as he stood, burying his face against the top of my breasts. He held me like that for I don't know how long, and everything he had been trying to hide came rushing into me. He was afraid, almost as afraid as I was. When he loosened his hold to let me slide down, his hardness was evident even through his jeans, and I realized too how badly he wanted this. With my feet now on the ground, I found his eyes, the earnest but questioning way he was looking at me, and slipped my hands between us, fiddling with the button on his jeans.

"Cath…" he pleaded, falling to his knees, his hands on my hips. So I started to undo my own jeans, getting the button undone before his hands covered mine and gradually moved them to the side. Dropping his forehead to the skin just beneath my breasts, he stayed like that for a moment, staring at the ground, my feet, something, and I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Chief, it's all right. I'm all right." It was the truth, and it brought his head back up to me. With a quick nod, his hands were at the front of my jeans, his fingers sliding my zipper down. His hands slipped inside my underwear and caressed the skin on my hips, stopping briefly when they reached my thighs. He held still for a moment to make sure I was still all right, and then slowly pushed them all the way down, so my jeans and underwear were at my ankles.

"Talk to me." I threw the same words out that he so often said to me. I needed to hear his voice along with his touch, but I didn't know why. His hands skimmed back up my legs, over my hips, his eyes worshipping the path of them, until he straightened fully and palmed my ass. With a gentle squeeze, his adoration flooded through me, and I grabbed for him, my hands finding the tops of his shoulders.

"You are…so beautiful." He pressed a kiss to the bite mark on my stomach, his hands working their way behind me to unhook my bra as his mouth travelled upward. "I want…I want to do to you what you did to me that first night. Taste every inch of you," he mumbled against my stomach, and even with my new vamp strength, my knees grew weak. Not from anything in the past, but from his words and the way they came from somewhere deep inside him. I couldn't help but grip his shoulders.

"What! What is it!" He must've felt something, and he suddenly stopped what he was doing and pulled back.

"Nothing. Keep going," I urged, loosening my hold just a bit. I didn't want him to be afraid anymore, if only because his fear heightened my own.

With that he stood up, his one hand sliding under my hair to my neck and the other around me, his mouth so hungry for my own he bent me backward. His tongue was so adamant, so possessive, his ache for me spread like wildfire throughout my body, the intensity going all the way to my toes.

When he finally stopped to look at me, bringing me upright, I sputtered, "M—more of that too, please," through the gentle caress of his hand still supporting the back of my neck. "But do me a favor. Lose the jeans," I tried to joke, only to relieve him of some of the apprehension I could still feel from him. I knew he was going slow, so slow, for me, but it took him barely a blink for my request to register, for his hands to leave me, and for him to get those jeans off. I couldn't help but smile a little as I kicked mine away.

"Hold on," he suddenly said, and raced to the tent, coming back out with our sleeping bag and laying it down on the grass. I watched his body, his ass, transfixed, as he knelt into the tent, and then couldn't help but look down at him, at his…as he stood back up in the middle of now-spread the sleeping bag.

A memory of that incredible night with him had my feet moving forward and my hand reaching out to touch him. But his hands were on my upper arms before I knew it, bringing my face to his. He gasped out loud as my hand found its mark before he lightly squeezed my arms.

"As…as much as I…" I slowly stroked him, his eyes closing for a moment, "want you to do that, I…" In a flash he dropped a hand down over mine, halting it with a slight hiss through his clenched teeth. I didn't want to stop, but I let him pull my hand away until both his hands were on my face. His eyes searched mine as he drew me to him, his lips softly tugging on my own. He nipped and licked his way over my jawline, that mustache working its magic, and the tingle ran through me as he nuzzled that spot on my neck, before finding his way once again to my scar. With all of the patience in the world, he traced the same path as before, over my collarbone to the one at the top of my breast. He kissed it softly, his mouth opening to skim it with his teeth, his tongue teasing my nipple.

"Chief…," I murmured, his mouth now on my other breast, sucking, his tongue flicking.

"Tell me if I need to stop," he said between kisses, following a path down my stomach, and once again dropping to his knees.

"No…no…don't…" I could barely get out the words as he found his way to the mark on my inner thigh, his one hand cupping my ass as the other wound its way between my thighs from behind, drawing them apart, my feet moving even as my fingers grasped his hair.

And that's when it happened.

His mouth. Down there.

My hands flew to his shoulders even as the memory flashed, my fingernails digging in as I closed my eyes, concentrating hard to wipe it away.

Charlie felt it. "It's me, babe. I'm here." He suddenly halted and straightened, clutching me to him with the hand on my ass. "It's okay, we can stop," he whispered up to me, his cheek pressed to my skin.

Shaking my head, I opened my eyes again to see the top of his head, my arms going around him to hold him tighter to me. The energy from him was just like the time he saved me from running. I could feel his safety net surging through me, giving me confidence.

The images disappeared.

"No…" I trailed off as I shifted my hands back to the tops of his shoulders. Pushing a bit, I wanted to see his face, and as if he could read my mind, he loosened his hold to look up at me. Pushing more, I knelt down to him, my eyes locked on his. "Touch me," I whispered, finding his hand and timidly guiding him to where I wanted to be touched. I knew I needed to feel him, feel something if we were going to go any further, but fear crept up my spine not knowing how I would respond, how my body would respond. He tried to hide the shock I could feel flowing from him, and in his eyes, which suddenly changed as his expression turned cautiously compliant with the slight tilt of his head. He held his hand there, his fingers still, until I moved them with my own, slowly at first, until he kept them going on his own. It was exactly what I needed, my head lolling back as the heat started to build deep within. But I kept my eyes locked on his until his hand tangled in my hair pulling me into another one of those toe-curling kisses.

His fingers moved in a gentle rhythm, his mouth tenderly tugging my upper and then lower lip.

"Th-therrre," I breathed into his lips, if only to encourage him. I knew he was gauging, measuring, testing with every tender stroke, until his one finger found my entrance circling the edge. Somewhere in the midst of his kiss, of my body screaming for more...

Damian's face above my own.

My hands flew to the sides of his neck even as my lips left his, my chest heaving even though I didn't need to breathe, my fingers clutching his skin just as they had the bedding beneath them that night.

"Open your eyes, Cath. Look at me."

Charlie's voice. I swallowed hard, blinking back the image that I didn't want in my head and focused on Charlie's face instead. His arm around the small of my back clutched me tighter to him, his fingers no longer touching me.

"Ch—"

"It's me. I've got you." He voice was firm as his eyes searched every inch of my face and then stared intently into my own.

"I—I know." I cupped his jaw with my hands that had been at his neck, my thumbs skimming over the hollow beneath his cheekbones, the skin there now so smooth. The familiar stubble had been erased by the change. I could feel his love and concern, mixed with a desire he tried to quell, coming off him in waves, and my insides lit up like a fuse as it ran through me. "It's gone. He's gone."

"Yes, he's gone. Burned to ashes." His dampened fingertips ran down my spine even as he still held me close, and gave me a spark of hope. Hope in that my body had responded the way it should and to him.

With that knowledge, and the rock solid evidence of what he was feeling pressing against my abdomen, I stated decisively, "I don't wanna stop."

"Alright, then." He gave me a measured look.

As his soft kiss touched my lips in reassurance, I suddenly felt his one hand leave my back. Reaching behind him to the ground and steadying himself, he laid back on the sleeping bag gently pulling me with him. Maneuvering my legs to each side of him in order to not crush that which was my ultimate goal, I sat slowly, gently, unsure of how I felt about this position or the feel of his abs between my legs. A brief memory of just a few weeks ago in the water raced through my mind.

One of his hands started caressing the top of my thigh. "We got all the time in the world," he said, gazing into my eyes until his focus slowly shifted, lowering, to study every inch of me. "I could look at you, like this, for hours, you know."

I absentmindedly drew my hand to cover the mark on my stomach.

"No, don't," he said, taking my hand away and setting it on his stomach, holding it there.

The flower on my other hand caught my attention, and I lifted it from where it had been on his chest to look at it, the tiny pink clusters so delicate but all still there, even now. So fragile, and yet so strong. I glanced back to Charlie and felt the love flowing from him even more, right up the insides of my thighs and…there. The corners of his mouth almost imperceptibly twitched, but I knew he was well aware of the effect he was having on me. So I ran my hand with his pledge tied around my finger up his sternum to his chest, to his heart, and slowly lowered myself to find his lips, softly pressing mine to his. "You're mine, Charles Thomas Swan." I knowingly smirked into the kiss, running my tongue over his lips before sitting up again. With that same smirk still holding, I reached behind me to palm him before twirling my thumb around his tip. A sharp intake of breath and jerk of his lower half told me even my touch had the right effect.

"Cath…" he exhaled slowly as I stared into his eyes. He slid one hand over my skin on a path from my thigh to my lower abdomen, his thumb massaging right at the crest of where I wanted him most. "You lead, baby. Show me what you want."

Oh, I wanted him. I did. But something stirred within me, deep down.

"Slowly, Cath. As much as you might think otherwise, I don't want to hurt you."

"You'll never hurt me," I answered in low voice, more sure of that than anything else. Rising up on my knees a bit, I let go of him to reach around for his hand on my stomach and guided it between my thighs.

"Wait." His hand gently held the inside of my thigh.

"Chief…" I inched back on my knees.

His other hand fell from my upper thigh, and just as it did he suddenly pushed up from the ground to a sitting position, and the movement automatically had me grasping at his neck. "What are you—"

"Shhh, baby." His other hand crept up my thigh, his fingers stroking me as they went until they were between my thighs again, searching, gliding. With each caress, he sent little jolts of…of something to me through his fingertips.

"Ooh!" He lifted his chin, and I couldn't help but meet his open mouth with my own as his finger once again found my entrance. This was Charlie, my Chief. I knew what he was doing: making sure I was ready before—

His finger went deeper and then withdrew, each time traveling further. Even though I knelt over him, my hands gripping the back of his neck, his palm pressed at the small of my back to support me, strengthening our connection. As I moaned into his kiss, he enveloped my body, my mind, stopping his mouth only to look up at me, testing me with his eyes and his touch.

It was okay, I was okay, and I let him know it by lowering myself more into his hand as our mouths fused, our tongues intertwining like we were tasting each other for the first time. He could feel it, and I could feel him, his aching for me. The feel of one finger delving deeper further, then another, had me breaking the kiss with such a moan that I hoped no one could hear. His eyes met mine, and I pushed on his shoulders, my intentions clear. I just wanted him, all of him. He watched me as he slowly acquiesced, his body prone on the sleeping bag as I moved over him once more. As I reached between my legs to stroke him, the feel of him in my hand made me shudder.

"Don't close your eyes," he blurted out as his hands found my hips. I purposely rubbed the tip of him against me, if only to make sure I was ready enough.

"All right," I whispered as I slowly lowered myself, concentrating solely on his eyes and the feel of him as he entered me. A soft exhale escaped my lips as his hands squeezed my hips, stopping me for a moment.

"Slow, Cath, sl-slow..." He nearly moaned as his head arched back, his eyelids half-closing but not enough for him to lose sight of me.

This must be torture for him.

Even as I thought it, I led him deeper still, until I reached out and braced myself against his forearms. If I'd needed to breathe, I would've been holding my breath. No, I was holding my breath. I hadn't taken in a bit of air since I'd spoke, and the thought made me stop again to get my bearings. Stilling myself, I stared back at him, adjusting to the feel of him inside me. My Chief was…bigger than him, bigger than I remembered. Yet there was no pain, no flashbacks, just him, and so I once again slowly lowered until I had all of him inside me.

And that's when it came over us both. Charlie's head jerked up so fast, I thought he was going to shoot straight up again. The bond that was between us when he held me was nothing in comparison to our bodies being joined. Not just skin to skin, but soul to soul, our energies surging like a raging river. I quelled the questioning look he gave me with a quick nod, even as his hands on my hips gripped tighter, letting my reassurance flow into him as I said the words in my head.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

I kept repeating the words to the cadence of my hips as I started slowly moving them, my hands sliding over his arms and to his chest as he ran his hands down my thighs and back up to my hips again.

"Shit…that feels so good," he whispered as he rested his head back again. "You feel…so good. So damn good." With that, I could feel the motion of his hips beneath me begin to move in time with mine.

And then they came like quick blips.

Damian over me. Damian grabbing my hips. His cold hands. That vicious smile…

No! I mentally screamed as I tried to blink the images away, keeping my focus on Charlie. My fingernails dug into his skin as I worked my hips, and he drove deeper. I could feel my body responding, my mind fighting to stay in the moment.

"T—talk to me, babe. I can feel it. You. Stay with me," he grunted out, slowing his movement.

It only drove me down to his mouth, where I covered it with my own, working my hips and grinding harder into him if only to show him I was. His arms came around me, filling me with more of that incredible sensation as our tongues worked in time to our bodies. I pressed up from his chest again, keeping my eyes on his. I could see the tension in his face and feel it in every muscle that flexed beneath me. Moving my hips again to get him right where I needed him, he responded by driving in further, faster…

That's when it started to build.

It was something from Charlie at first, gaining momentum like someone slowly pressing down on a gas pedal. Flowing from him into me, it was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. But then it was inside me, like it was surging through my veins, into every cell, taking hold and gripping me in its energy.

"Babe, I'm—"

He didn't need to say it.

"Touch me…again. Help me," I pleaded softly, knowing I needed more. But his thumb was already moving in determined circles right where I needed him as the tension inside me grew.

"Charrr…" I was only able to get out part of his name. Suddenly it wasn't his thumb stroking me, but his fingers. Faster and faster, I felt him moving inside me, hitting that spot. The energy from Charlie flowing through me was almost overwhelming, to the point I couldn't make another sound. The intensity stretched my skin, my mind, and my insides clenched so tightly around him it caused my fingernails to dig into his chest. I had been so afraid I wouldn't be able to…to…but it was as if the energy from Charlie was pushing it all away, all of the negativity, all of the fear.

For one brief flash, Damian's face threatened everything—that smile, those teeth—and my abdomentightened to the point that my elbows bent.

"Chiee…!"

And then everything I saw just…exploded as every inch of me did, obliterating Damian's face into a thousand shards of flying mirrored pieces, wrenching a shriek from me as I came like I never had before.

"Cath!" Charlie flew up to a sitting position, wrapping his one arm to clutch me tightly to him, even as my hands found their way around his shoulders. All I could do was feel him, that unbelievable force, every inch of muscle under my hands and against my body coiling. As the tension inside me wound and unwound, my hips jutting with wave upon wave, his other hand pushed hard off the ground thrust into me.

"Unnnh!" He roared against the mark on my neck as I clung to him. He came with such intensity that it sent another shot of that energy shooting through me, leaving me nearly incoherent and my body shuddering with every drive into me. It was beyond words, beyond description, as the sensations ripped through us both.

"My…God…" Charlie mumbled against the soft peak of my breast. With his hand splayed across my back, we both rode it out, until the energy flowing between us slowly began to subside.

I could only nod against him, pressing my cheek into his hair.

As we both started to calm, another emotion welled within me, flooding me so suddenly that I didn't even know what it was. Bursting into what would've been tears if I were human, my body shook with uncontrollable sobs as the enormity of what had just happened came over me as well as the further recognition of just what this man in my arms meant to me.

"Baby, no!" Charlie's arms held me even tighter as he laid back, bringing me with him as I cried the tearless cries. "Shhhh…it's okay. It's okay. You're okay. Shhhh…" he soothed, rubbing my back as he felt me break, a secondary release of everything that had been pent-up inside, the relief washing over me.

"Shhhh…" he repeated again as I buried my face in the base of his neck. He held me like that forever, quieting the inner chaos with the immensity of his love, his understanding, and his touch. Seeing Damian's face broken into a million pieces in my head was more than just liberation. Having seen it happen knowing, it had been Charlie and all of his love made me feel like he had destroyed him. It had been everything I needed. Charlie had been everything I needed, and I cried more. The penultimate connection between us, as close as we could possibly ever be, had obliterated him, and that revelation made me hold tighter to Charlie. He gathered my closer still, concern emanating from him.

When I settled down enough, and when I had enough understanding of what had just happened, I pressed my lips to the side of his neck. "I love you," I whimpered, "so much," letting him feel it too with every part of me that touched him. I worked my way over his jaw to his lips, and he combed his fingers through my hair as he softly nipped back at mine.

"Not more…than I…love you," he sighed thoughtfully as his head dropped back to the ground. For a moment, we just stared into each other's eyes. His one hand pushed back the hair from my face, until it was cupping my cheek, his thumb running over where tears hadn't fallen.

"You were…incredible," he whispered. "That was…"

"Beyond words." I finished for him.

The corners of his mouth inched upward into a grin. "Tell me you felt that…that…whatever it was between us."

I nodded slowly, searching his eyes and then every inch of his face before gazing at him again.

"Whatever that was, it…I saw him…at the end."

"You—" He clamped down on the small of my back.

"Shh, lemme finish." My fingertips raced to his lips, emphasizing for him to shush, until I lightly brushed them over his mustache. "His face. It was like…it exploded into a million pieces just as I…" I lowered my eyes, unable to fully explain it.

"So that's what that was."

I glanced back at him, and a look of astonishment was all over his face. "Did you feel…before that? I mean, did you know what you were doing to me?"

He shook his head slightly and then stopped. I could feel the confusion in him swirling, his eyebrows coming together as his gaze drifted from me up to the night sky. "I just sent you everything I had, everything I could. I know I kept thinking I wanted him out of your mind, as far away from you as I could get him."

"Well, you were successful." I rested my head back down on his shoulder, and his fingers started a path up and down my spine. "It felt incredible, like you were pushing something into me. Not like that first time, but like…a barrier that was flowing through me. I thought I was going to burst."

Charlie let slip a chuckle. "You did."

"Yeah. So did you." I smiled even though he couldn't see it, and I slid my hand over the side of his neck, feeling more than hearing him laugh.

He grew quiet for a moment, his humor changing to something altogether different.

"I knew I had to let you get there on your own. I've known it since that night with Nessie. One of your triggers."

I popped my head up to look at him as he continued.

"Lying on your back. It set off the flashbacks for you with us. I couldn't let you go there. You needed to control it…the situation…us. It's why I never let you…it's why I held you, knelt before you. You needed to be the one with…with all of the power."

My eyes wandered from his as his words brought me clarification and comprehension. Charlie was right. My Chief's powers of observation went well beyond the badge, and I wondered if he even recognized how much he had done for us. For me.

He slid his hand down under my hair and gently massaged the back of my neck, until I stared back into what were now his sated eyes. "My knight in shining armor." I caught his lower lip between mine to punctuate my point.

"And you're extraordinary, my damsel. No, not damsel…" His eyes searched the sky again as if he were trying to come up with something profound. "I got it. I'm going to call you my Triple F from now on."

"Triple F?" I gave him a look wondering just what one of those Fs stood for.

"Fabulous and Fierce Fiancé, dirty girl."

I grinned naughtily at him. "Mmm, I see. Fabulous and fierce, I like. Fiancé, I love." I gave him a full-on smile even when he lifted his head to press his lips to mine.

"Triple F, you're the strongest woman I've ever known."

"You make me strong. Stronger." Glancing beyond him, off into the distance, I suddenly remembered my ring, and I lifted my hand from his shoulder. A few of the petals were gone, but most of it was still there, still beautiful, and still mine.

"I'll find more. I'll tie one on your finger every sunrise for the start of another day with you until I can get you a real one. I promise."

"I'll always love this one the most, even if it's just a green stem around my finger." I kissed him once more, this time with more fervor, letting him feel how much what he'd just said meant to me.

Nestling myself back into his arms, I sensed him still inside me, and I smiled to myself feeling his contentment and mine. Although the memories of Damian and what he'd done to me and Charlie would always be there, he would never again come between me and my Chief.

"Stay still, wiggleworm." He was using his cop voice, and it sent a jolt of lust right through me. I wiggled my lower half just a little more.

This time, it was a vibration that flooded me, but mainly between my legs. Within me.

"Your lightsaber is humming, Han." It was my best straight man voice.

"Han…? Han didn't have a lightsaber," he replied in a low sexy tenor, sitting us both up in a whoosh that triggered a surprised gasp from me. The sly grin that he tried to hide was pointless, and I touched the corner of his mouth softly, running my fingers over his lips.

"Mine does," I nearly whispered as I watched his lips part, my fingertips disappearing into his hair so I could meet them with my own.

It suddenly occurred to me it was a very good thing we didn't need to sleep.

A/N:

I'd love to know what you thought, even if it's one word. Thanks much for reading.