Day #1: Motive

I'll never tell him this, but Uncle was right. It's a hopeless case, even if I did capture the Avatar I still can't go home. Father gave me one chance and I blew it when Zhao proclaimed me a traitor to the Fire Nation. And sometimes when I really think about it, Father wouldn't have let me come back even if I had succeeded before. He just wanted to be rid of me.

So why do I keep chasing the Avatar? I'm not stupid, I know there's no point anymore. Azula is Father's perfect heir and I'm just nothing. Uncle says we'll be happy living our brand new lives as simple tea servants, that we never needed any of that silly finery or glory anyway, and I want to believe him.

But I'm no happier than I was before. I'm just confused.

The Avatar...what is he to me, anyway? Why do my thoughts always go back to him, why do I keep wanting to capture him even if there's no reason to anymore?

The night I rescued him from Zhao, I did it so he couldn't take the glory. I was ready to turn him in to Father...but instead, I let him go. Well, more like chased him off, but still. Why did I let him go?

Then there's the time he saved me at the North Pole. That girl he's always with, she nearly froze me to death. She and the other kid were happy to just leave me there, but the Avatar...he pulled me up onto the bison, held my hands and tried to warm me. I still remember the touch of his hands against mine...vaguely remember him saying he wouldn't let me die. I remember thinking, what kind of fool would rescue his enemy, and then later I tried to save Zhao from the Ocean Spirit.

...why am I even smiling at I think about this? The Avatar has caused me nothing but trouble, and yet...

Zuko? If we met earlier...do you think we could have been friends?

Damn him! Somehow his stupid, childish little question changed everything!

I still need him. Not to capture so I can make Father proud, I just...somehow, I feel like he completes my life.

That's why I'll never stop chasing him. I want to know why he does this to me, why I feel this way.

Someday, Avatar...