A/N:

Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is FFpassion. This is the last chapter.

WARNING: a portion of this chapter deals with attempted self-harm.

I stepped away from the front door and craned my neck upwards, hoping to get a glimpse of Bella in her room. All I could see was darkness up there. So far, I'd knocked three separate times with no answer. School was about to start in fifteen minutes and she wasn't here. Maybe she needed more space, so she took herself.

That day we'd gone to the church, she'd asked that I give her some time. The news of her son's death had hit her hard, and all I could do was give her what she needed. So, I hadn't spoken to her all weekend. That didn't mean I hadn't seen her. I drove by her house Saturday evening, just to make sure she was safe. Her bedroom light had been on, and I was able to catch a brief glimpse of her walking past the window.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, debating if I should call her. A beat up car came into sight and stopped right in front of me. Black hobbled out of the passenger side, balancing himself on the door.

"Where is she?" he asked me, wasting no time.

Sam got out of the driver's side and walked around the car toward the house. Black threw a silver key at him to catch.

"What's going on?" I queried.

Black took out a folded paper from his jeans' pocket. "Found this weird letter from Bella in my mailbox. I need to talk to her."

"Why'd she send you a letter?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, genius."

I narrowed my eyes, but didn't get a chance to retort when Sam came running out of the house holding a piece of paper.

"She wasn't there," Sam said, "but I found this in her room." He handed the paper to me. "It's got your name on it."

My eyes scanned the messy scrawl.

Dear Edward,

I don't even know how to start this. It's taking every bit of strength in me to write. You mean so much to me. From the first moment we talked, you brought light into my otherwise dark life. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your kindness and love. I only wish I had it in me to return it the way you deserve. And you deserve so much.

I want you to know, I'm not ignoring you. I've just needed time to figure some things out. So, don't for one second think that any of this has to do with you. I'm just not sure how I can live in a world without him in it.

I crumbled the letter and dropped it to the ground, not bothering to finish reading the rest. Without a backwards glance, I raced to my car.

"Where the hell are you going?" Black called out, grabbing his crutches from out of Sam's car.

"I know where she is," I said, getting inside and turning on the engine.

I barely pulled out of the driveway when Black came to the rear, blocking my path.

"Get out of my fuckin' way!" I yelled out. There wasn't any time for this bullshit.

Black came to the passenger side and got in. "You're taking me with you." He stuck his head out the window. "Sam, find Charlie and sober his ass up."

"Well, hurry the fuck up," I ordered, gripping the steering wheel.

Gunning it through town, it took us less than ten minutes to get to where we needed to go. Black and I decided to split up. He was going to check the beach, even though I knew she wouldn't be there. No, I knew exactly where she was.

Running as fast as I could, I made it to the cliff in time. Her dark hair waved freely in the wind as she stared out across the water. Even from a distance, I could see the goose bumps on the back of her arms.

"Bella!" I called.

Her head whipped over her shoulder. Fear was evident in her shimmering, red-rimmed eyes. "I told you not to come!" she shouted over the crashing of rough waves.

I took slow steps to her, just in case. "I didn't get that far in the letter."

She shook her head and faced forward again. "Go home, Richie." There was such pain in her voice, and I was grateful I'd gotten here now instead of later.

"Black got a letter from you, too. He's really worried."

She didn't offer a response.

I was right behind her now, able to see the bloody cuts on her wrists and forearms. Fuck, how could she do this to herself?

"Step back from the edge, Bella." I attempted to take her arm, but she anticipated it and took a small step forward, causing my heart to stop beating. "Don't. Please, don't."

Her sobs of agony were drowned by the roar of the sea. "He's dead," she said. "My son is dead, and it's all my fault."

"SIDS is said to be common."

"I don't care," she choked. "If I had taken care of him instead of dumping him like a pile of trash, he could still be alive. He could've gone to college and married a nice girl. Had tons of kids. And now, that's not even possible, and it's all because I couldn't get my fucking shit together."

"You can't blame yourself. How could you have known he'd pass away? Sometimes, these things just happen—"

"They don't just happen," she interrupted, and cried harder. "How can I live with myself?"

There seemed to be a battle waging in her head, and I was trying with all my might to keep her with me. I tried taking her arm again, and this time, she let me. Her skin was freezing. I turned her so she was facing me. Her glassy eyes refused to line up with mine.

"If you're not staying for yourself, then please, stay for the people who love you," I started. "All your friends, me, and your father—"

She scoffed. "My father. Like he'd even care."

"He would," I assured, and cupped her cheek. "You say you can't live in a world without your son…well, I can't live in a world without you. So, if you go…I'm going next."

Her eyes flashed to mine, tears streaming from them. "No, Edward. You don't mean that."

"You think I'd lie about something like this?"

She hung her head and closed her eyes, trying to hide her sorrow.

"I need you, Bella. If you go, who will I love? Who will be my wife one day? Who will have my children? No one can make me as happy as you can. There'd be no point sticking around."

"Bella, get away from there!" Black called in the distance, making his way toward us as fast as he could.

She ignored him, choosing to turn her head to the water. "I don't have the will to live, Edward," she spoke.

"I have enough will for the both of us," I replied, and rubbed her arms up and down. "We need to get you inside."

"I don't want to move."

"You don't have a choice." I lifted her into my arms. She didn't put up a fuss as she curled into me.

"What the fuck just happened?" Black asked, finally catching up to us. "Is she okay?"

I passed by him. "We're going back to the car so I can get her home. Try taking less than an hour."

"Fuck you."

Back at Bella's house, I placed her limp body in bed. She'd fallen asleep in the car, leaving me to deal with Black on the way to dropping him off at his place. He'd asked relentlessly what happened, but I made sure to stay away from the truth as much as I could. I'd known from the letter that Bella would try to take her own life. I wasn't sure if she'd have actually gone through with it, but I sure as hell hadn't wanted to find out.

"You're home," I said softly to her, brushing a hand across her forehead.

She surprised me by speaking. "I don't want to be."

I sighed and retrieved a wash cloth from the bathroom. As I cleaned her dried up, bloody wrists, she watched me.

"You deserve a good girl. Someone better than me," she said.

"I deserve you."

"You must think really low of yourself, then."

"Stop it," I barked, causing tears to well up in her eyes. My shoulders slumped. "How could you do this to yourself, Bella?"

She glanced away.

I took off her shoes next and covered her in a blanket. Sitting next to her as she stared up at the ceiling, I thought about what could've happened if I'd lost her. It would've been the end of me, surely. It made me realize how precious our time is on this earth. My dad could very well die soon, yet I was still claiming to be angry with him. Was that really fair to either of us?

An hour later, Bella had finally fallen asleep. The door downstairs slammed shut, putting me on full alert. That was either Black, who had the house key, or it was…

"Where the damn hell is she?" I heard Charlie question himself downstairs.

I climbed off the bed quietly and shut the door behind on the way out. Charlie's eyes narrowed as I walked down the steps.

"Is she up there?" he asked, waving a piece of paper in the air. He looked like he'd just woken up from a hard night of drinking. "Why'd she write me this ridiculous letter?"

"Sir, your daughter is…" I began, pausing. "She's not in the best shape right now. Something happened—"

"What'd you do to her?" he questioned, jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"I didn't do anything."

"Well, what happened?"

"It's not my place to say."

"Since when the hell has that stopped you?"

"I know you and I haven't exactly agreed on things before, but there's one thing we can agree on. I know you love your daughter. Well, so do I. More than anything. But right now, she needs her father."

He glanced at the stairs and back at me, reluctance in his eyes that looked so much like Bella's. Some sort of resolve crossed his features, allowing him to slowly climb the stairs for the first time in years. When he'd made it to the top, I followed. I watched him from the top step as he entered her room cautiously and stood by her bed.

Bella blinked her eyes open, taking her father in. She let out a choked sob. "Daddy…"

He wasted no time, sitting on the bed and taking her in his arms. "Shhh, shh. I'm here, baby girl. I'm here."

I went back downstairs and out the front door, feeling confident I could leave them alone for a while. They needed this time to take away each other's demons.

Once back home, I went into my father's study. He was seated at his desk, reading the newspaper, and looked up at me.

"Dad, can we talk?"

X-X-X-X

Over the next five days, I gave Bella the space she wanted. A small part of me was afraid to leave her alone, but a bigger part had faith that she wouldn't attempt anything rash again. She was born to live, and I hoped to make her realize that.

My father and I had been spending some time together. For the first time, he was actually making an effort to hear what I had to say. He listened as I told him how pressured I felt to please him, how I'd changed into a new person as a result. I also divulged the career path I wanted to take. Of course, he disagreed with it, but after some convincing, he offered his financial help. I turned him down.

I ran my fingers over the second hand camcorder I'd received as a gift from Bella. It'd been perched on my nightstand so I could look at it whenever I was in bed. Without her around, I needed something to keep me connected to her.

From my room, I could hear the clattering of cutlery downstairs. I hadn't had my mother's cooking in ages. Apprehensively, I followed the smell of roast chicken. Sitting at the dining table, my mother, father, and Jasper were quiet as they ate. My presence caused their heads to turn.

"Edward, honey," my mom greeted with a small smile. "Are you hungry?"

I was surprised she could be so kind after the way I'd treated her. Nevertheless, I took a seat next to Jasper. My father nodded at me in approval, letting me know I made the right move. For a while, the last thing I sought out was his approval, but I found that having it now meant something to me.

"Is Bella doing better?" Jasper asked me.

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Mike was at the hospital because he broke his thumb, and he said he saw Bella there with her dad."

I looked at my father, who wore a straight face, but I could instantly tell he knew something about it. "I haven't seen her in a few days, so I don't know," I said. "Why was she there?"

"Beats me," Jasper said.

"Dad?" I asked. "Did you treat her?"

"No," he answered.

"But you know why she was there, right?" I was regretting leaving her alone for those few days.

"She's fine, Edward," he assured. "She's in great shape and back home now."

I sighed, wanting nothing more than to drive to her house and see her, but I was waiting for her to make the first move.

The doorbell rang, interrupting dinner.

"I'll get it," Jasper offered, getting up.

Mom reached over and filled my glass with water. "So, a film director, huh? Do you want to be like that N. Night Shamalana," she said, looking confused.

I chuckled. "It's M. Night Shyamalan. And I don't know my style yet."

"That's something that'll form as you go," my father chimed in.

"I hope so," I said. "UCLA has a good film program. I'm thinking I might want to go there."

"Will it be too late to send in an application?" Mom asked.

"I might know someone on the—" Dad started.

"It's fine," I said. "I'm just going to try my best. That's all I can really do at this point."

"Edward," Jasper called, "can you come here?"

I got up and found him in the living room. "What is it?"

"Bella's at the door."

Thank God. I hoped it wouldn't be too long before she came around. Though, I figured she'd call; not stop around my place. I wasn't complaining.

I went to pass him, but he stopped me.

"Hey, I just wanna say I'm sorry for all the crap that's been happening lately," he said. "I hope you and I can be friends again."

I nodded and patted him once on the shoulder. He went off to the dining table, while I went to the front door. Seeing Bella after everything that had happened was cathartic. She looked…different. And it wasn't just the blue jeans and lavender shirt she was wearing; it was something else. Something had changed.

"Hey," she said, a weak smile on her face.

My eyes roamed down her arms that had ACE bandages wrapped around them. "I heard you were in the hospital."

She looked down at the ground. "My dad took me. He was worried about the cuts on my arms and wrists. And, as it turned out, I had a really high fever." She shifted on her feet. "They had me on suicide watch. I have to go to counseling every week."

"I'm sorry," I said, my hand reaching out to hers. I hooked my index finger with her pinky.

Her eyes moved to our hands. "Me, too. I was selfish and wasn't thinking straight. Even if you hadn't shown up, I don't think I would've been able to go through with it. I was hesitating."

"I'm glad you were. I can't stand the thought of you not around me."

She finally looked up at me with a pout on her lips. "I feel the same way. I don't want you to worry about me, okay? I'm gonna get better."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around her, crushing her to me. "I know you will." I pulled away slightly and pressed my mouth to hers. It wasn't heated or desperate. Our mouths weren't even moving. It was simply our way of being close.

She dropped her forehead to my chest. "My dad is getting help, too."

"Really?"

"He hasn't had a drink in days and he's stopped going around Sue's."

"Is that what you want?"

She nodded. "I missed him."

I hugged her tighter. "Do want to come in?"

"Your family's in there."

"So?" I asked.

"I don't think they'd want me around."

"Since when do you care what people think?"

"I've always cared."

"Well, you have nothing to worry about. And it's probably about time they get to know my girlfriend."

"Okay," she whispered, though I could tell she was nervous.

I kept my arm around her as I led her inside. My parents and Jasper stopped eating when we came in. Their eyes were squared on Bella.

"Mom, Dad, this is Bella, my girlfriend," I introduced. "Bella, you already know Jasper."

"It's nice to meet you all," Bella spoke timidly. "I'm sorry to interrupt your meal."

"Oh, don't be silly," Mom said. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, she is," I spoke for Bella.

Mom quickly gathered more cutlery and stacked a fresh plate sky high with food. Bella looked overwhelmed yet content. I squeezed her leg under the table in comfort.

"So, Bella. Have you heard my son's going to be a film director?" Mom started.

Bella chuckled. "Yes, he'll be a very good one."

"But UCLA is so far away," Mom droned.

Bella glanced at me.

"Where have you applied?" Dad asked bluntly.

Mom and I shot him a glare.

"I'm, uh…I don't—" Bella fumbled, taken aback.

"She's still looking at all her options," I threw in. "She has a passion for cooking."

Bella frowned.

"Then I'm sure you've looked into Le Cordon Bleu?" Dad asked.

"Well…no," she said.

Dad decided to drop it, thank God. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"I'll help her," I spoke, and heard her sigh quietly next to me.

After dinner, I walked her outside. It was cold out, so I gave her one of my jackets.

"So…UCLA," she brought up.

"Hopefully," I said.

"That's all the way in California." She was trying to hide her emotions.

I played with the ends of her hair. "It'll be good for us."

She furrowed her brow. "You mean for you. I'll be here and you'll be there."

"So, you're not coming with me?"

"What?" she asked. "What would I do in California?"

"School," I said, causing her to look away. "What's wrong?"

"I think you forget who I am. I'm not the type that's going to go to college and have a big career. I applied at the diner down the road, and if they offer me a job as a waitress, then I'm going to take that."

"Are you crazy?" I questioned, baffled by her decision.

She scoffed and moved away from me. "What's wrong with being a waitress?"

"Nothing, but it's not you. You love cooking. You should do something with that."

Her nostrils flared. "And where exactly am I going to get the money for that? Where am I going to get the money for anything? If you haven't noticed, my dad's a deadbeat and I'm really not far from that myself. My future is in this stupid town."

"Bella—" I started.

"No," she interrupted. "Just go to California. Live your life. You deserve it." She began to walk down the driveway, but I stopped her. She wasn't getting away that easily.

"I don't think you remember, but your grades are great…even though they're fabricated, but who cares? You're smart and you'd have those grades anyway. As far as money goes, you can look into scholarships and loans. It's not the end for you. I want you with me wherever I go. Don't you want that, too?"

"Of course I do," she said in a sigh. "I just don't—"

I pressed a finger to her lips. "You just don't know how you're going to manage it all. It's going to be a lot of work, but you're going to do it a step at a time. I'll be with you the whole way."

She took my hand in hers. "I sometimes think I deserve to be stuck in this town."

"If Thomas were still around, he'd want his mom to be happy. Would that make you happy?"

She shook her head, her eyes shimmering. "The only way I'd be happy is with you."

I smiled. "I'm glad you said that, because now I won't have to kidnap you and drag you with me."

A laugh escaped her, and we embraced. Both of us had a lot to figure out, and it might be a challenge, but as long as we did it together, we could accomplish anything.

- The End -

A/N:

Thanks for following along. Over the year and a half since I started this fic, I learned a lot about writing and who I've wanted to be as an author. This plot was a stretch for me, but I wanted to do it to show myself I could. I'm so glad to finally put a complete stamp on it.

Lindz and Irene – thank you so much for being my constants throughout this journey. I'm so grateful for all your help.

In regards to an epilogue, most of you know I hate doing them, because I feel they tie up stories too nicely, but when I originally started this fic, I imagined an epi. So, even though my outlook has changed, I feel I should honor my initial plan. My other story, Washed Up, is my priority, but I'll make an effort to get an epilogue posted here.