Ok, peeps this is yet another brand new fic that I started writing and although it may have many little links that connect it to both P.o.P and H.o.T.T it is not directly linked to the stories, it is just something I wrote for fun so please review and let me know what you think… for a change this fic will be more about Jafar than Hades so please enjoy…

As usual I don't own any characters created by Disney I'm just borrowing them but I do own Persephone so if you wish to use her in your own fics please let me know first 'kay…

…Love Ditzy…. XXx

Jafar's Disastrous Dates

Chapter One:The Matchmaker from Hell

Jafar sighed heavily as he descended the last step into the deep gloomy abyss. He could barely believe it had come to this, was he really this desperate? It was hard to believe that even with all the powers of the universe at his disposal he still couldn't obtain what it was he really wanted more than anything… affection.

After all, what was the point in ruling Agrabah without having a beautiful queen seated beside him? Power brought many things but it could not keep you company on those cold, lonesome dessert evenings. Minions were ok but Jafar had never had much luck keeping them around… besides it would make a nice change to be around someone who didn't start to uncontrollably shake or gibber mindlessly when he entered the room…

He sure wasn't going to go to Aphrodite for advice, not that she'd help him if he did. She hated his kind. The Love Goddess firmly believed that villains didn't deserve love because they couldn't ever grasp the concept of it…

…But she was wrong. There was one villain that did seem to have a vague idea about love. In fact not only had he proved Aphrodite's theory wrong but he was now happily married too, and because of this Jafar decided that it was his 'expert' opinion that he really needed to help him out..

'Jaffy!!' Hades' smirk widened at the sight of his fellow villain. 'What brings ya back to the Underworld huh? Ya needin' some help with that Aladdin yutz, wanna borrow some of my snarlin' brood to finish the schmeil off?' The fiery god playfully punched the vizier on the shoulder.

'Ah-hah.. no but thank you for the offer, I prefer to do my own dirty work, that way I know it gets done..' He responded smoothly rubbing the spot where Hades had punched him, there'd be a bruise there later.

'Uh-huh I see your point, but there's nothin' like usin' a minion or two…' Hades raised his brows. '-gives ya more time to spend on whatcha really care about..'

'Yes well..' Jafar coughed uncomfortably at this point. '-I don't have a very good track record with those do I?' Hades instantly clapped the vizier on the back causing him to wobble slightly at the force off it.

'Ya stickin' around a while Jaffy?' The god asked jauntily wrapping an arm around Jafar's shoulder's and the vizier caught a glimpse of the god's platinum wedding band.

'Yes… in fact I-'

'Good!' Hades cut jauntily over the vizier as his smirk widened. 'I know the missus'll be pleased to see ya..' Jafar suddenly found himself being dragged off towards Hades' throne room.

'So..' Jafar sounded after a moment. '-how's it feel to be married..'

'Heh, I'm telling' ya Jaffy..' Hades responded grinning. '-if I'd known this 'marriage gig' was gonna be so easy, I'da done it centuries ago.. but then again, I think bein' with Seph makes it easier, she understands me.. y'know what I'm sayin'..' The god paused at the slightly bemused look Jafar threw him. '-well maybe ya don't but it's nice, trust me..'

'And how is your wife keeping these days?' Jafar asked politely.

'Heh, whatta ya askin' me for?' Hades smirked amused. 'C'mon and see for yourself..' The god let go of the vizier as he led him up the stairs to the throne room.

'Hey Seph..' Hades suddenly bellowed cheerfully entering the throne room causing the white-skinned goddess, who was sprawled across the chessboard with a few dozen scrolls, to look up at him and smile in her adorable girly fashion. '-you'll never guess who I found skulkin' around the Underworld..'

'Who?' Persephone sounded curiously but her question was answered instantly as Jafar entered the room scowling at her husband.

'I wasn't 'skulking around' and you know it!' The former vizier scowled at Hades who merely smirked amused by his words.

'Jafar…' Persephone smiled sweetly causing Jafar to turn and flash Hades' better half a slimy leer. Marriage clearly suited the young goddess as she was positively glowing. '-how nice to see you again..'

'Persephone…' The former vizier leaned into her and took her dainty white fingers in his. '-you look absolutely radiant my dear..' He purred and the Queen of the Underworld turned her head away as a faint peachy blush crossed her cheeks. A twinge of jealousy caused Hades' flaming hair to flash orange and he scowled at the sickening sight of the former vizier schmoozing up to his wife.

'Alright that's enough..' The fiery god shot Jafar a black look then wrenched him away from Persephone who merely smirked amused at the vizier's surprised face. '-ya don't wanna end up like the last yutz that tried to do that..' Jafar blinked confused then turned to the young goddess and threw her a questioning look.

'Ah..' She waved her hand dismissively. '-it's nothing really..' Persephone giggled girlishly then continued. '-when Hades and I were dating this guy tried to steal me away but thanks to my brilliant husband here-' The goddess gestured to the fiery god who flashed a proud, wide-fanged smirk at his wife. '-he's bound in a chair for all eternity… he's still in the dinning room, you wanna see him?' Persephone added cheerfully.

'No thank you, I think I'll pass my dear..' Jafar smirked briefly then a loud shrieking noise suddenly caused all three to whip around as a pale transparent figure dropped in through the ceiling and shot through the doorway to the Vortex of Fire. The counter then rolled forward one digit.

'Well…' Persephone sighed heavily. '-I suppose I better deal with the stiff, huh?' She smiled at her husband as a purple clipboard appeared in his long blue fingers. Hades handed her the clipboard but as Persephone made to leave he suddenly gripped her wrist.

'Heh.. Ya forgettin' somethin' babe?' His smirk widened amused as Persephone looked back confused.

'Oh..' The goddess suddenly smiled as she realised what it was he was after, she then stepped up to her husband and pulled him into a soft kiss. Jafar groaned inwardly, rolling his eyes then turned away shaking his head with disbelief. If he ever found his ideal woman they certainly would be saving that kind of behaviour for behind closed doors.

'That better?' Persephone breathed softly as they parted.

'Much..' Hades sounded and the goddess beamed before turning to leave. '-now go get 'em sugar..' The god added jauntily slapping her butt causing Persephone to squeal out in surprise then giggle coyly as she left to go and check in the new arrival.

'Now play nice boys…' Persephone sounded in a sultry tone and waving them off as she entered the doorway to the vortex.

'Aye-chi-wa-wa…' Hades sighed as his narrowed eyes followed his wife until she was out of sight. The god seemed to snap out of his ogling the moment Persephone vanished into the glowing green stairway to the vortex, he instantly looked around to Jafar who raised his brows amused.

'So…' Hades flashed the vizeir a lazy smirk before vanishing in a curl of smoke and reappearing on his throne. '-what brings ya down here, if it isn't that schlub Aladdin?'

Hades blinked several times in shock then deciding he had misheard the vizier laughed softly.

'Heh, heh, heh, ya wanna just run that by me again Jaffy, must have a wedge a brimstone still in my ear from this morning..' The god dug a finger in his ear and flicked out a lump. '-Seph always makes me take a shower after I've been in Tartarus, huh, thought I'd got all of it off…' He glared in the direction he had tossed the small lump of brimstone.

'Hades!!' Jafar snapped irritably causing the god to blink and suddenly look around. 'This is not the topic of discussion..' The Lord of the Underworld frowned at the vizeir for a moment before a sneering twisted smirk appeared on his full blue lips.

'Y'know Jaffy.. I've heard a lotta things in my time but…' Hades broke off and chuckled softly for a moment and Jafar pouted, crossing his arms defensively. '-what in Tartarus do ya wanna woman for?!'

Jafar rolled his eyes in animated exasperation.

'I thought that would be quite obvious..'

After probing Jafar, which was exceedingly uncomfortable for the former vizier as he preferred to keep his feelings locked up, the Lord of the Underworld discovered that the tall sinister man was lonely and Hades pitied him. The fiery god had once felt exactly the same way but that had all changed the day he had met Persephone… she was the light of his immortal life, she was everything to him and he never wanted to go back to the way things had been before…

The god's face was completely unreadable for a few moments and Jafar was beginning to wonder if this had all been a waste of time. Then suddenly the god's sharp features broke into a wide leering smile.

'Heh, y'know what Jaffy…' He drawled lazily slouching further down his throne and studying the tall sinister man with an almost sentimental look. '-if your sure this is what ya want… what the hell, I'll help ya find that special lady, just leave it with me.' Hades raised his brows then suddenly got off his throne and sauntered over to the former vizier and clutched his shoulders tightly. The god instantly began to steer Jafar towards the exit. The vizier blinked surprised.

'Don't you even want to know what kind of woman I'm looking for-'

'Pffft…' Hades snorted dismissively. '-details, details… just go home 'kay, I'll arrange everything…'

'But-'

'Jaffy… Re-lax…' The god smirked as they stopped at the doorway to the Styx. '-I'll call ya when I got the first date lined up…'

'Well..' Jafar drawled unsurely then sighed. '-if your sure about this..'

'Absolutely.' Hades said insistently. 'Now if ya don't mind… I prefer to plan alone..'

'Very well…' Jafar sounded in a reluctant tone then turned and began to descend the steps to the Styx.

Hades smirked widely leaning against the doorway watching the vizier leave.

'Do I even want to know what your planning?' A soft female voice made the fiery god turn around to see his wife standing with one eyebrow raised in amusement.

'Nahh..' Hades responded cheerfully. '-don't ya worry about it, just be a good little wifey an' go make me a sandwich..' Persephone's other brow shot upwards but her lips curved into a wider smile as Hades moved over to his chessboard.

'Hmmm… I'll just pretend that you said 'I love you honey'..'

'Sephykins.. Less talkie, more fetchie..' The god waved his wife off vaguely while brooding on who he could get to go on a date with Jafar.. she had to be something special, someone who could hold the vizier's attention. Hades began to think about the sort of woman that Jafar might be interested in. Then suddenly the answer came to the Lord of the Underworld and he snapped his fingers.. Then came the next problem, how to get her to agree to go on a date. It was going to be tricky but the god loved a challenge…

After a further moment of brooding Hades grinned a sadistic sort of leer then swivelled around and bellowed,

'Pain!! Panic!!' Instantly both imps appeared out of nowhere before the god.

'You called your rottenness?' Pain asked nervously while Panic stood shaking like a leaf.

'Yeh… I need you boys to get hold of a very special lady..'

Little Notes:

Yeh, I feel the title is a little uninspiring but I hope the blurb more than makes up for it's lack of imagination…

All the dates will be Disney woman so please feel free to send suggestions on who you all think would be a great on a date out with Jafar, I do have a few ladies in mind already with plenty of hilarious situations to go with them…

Will Jafar ever find his 'ideal woman'…

…only one way to find out peeps..

Take Care… Ditzy xXx