Hey you guys! After finding out how "icky" AxS is, I decided to try the decidedly less icky AxI (which still isn't correct in Word. It keeps trying to make it AxS HA! X3) … but I failed epicly. This poor plot bunnie Wandered in my head fully supporting AxI (which is still incorrect) but my other plot bunnies (namely Genii and Juniata) attacked her and "showed her the light" of AxS (which is correct) I tried and tried to make it AxI again, but all I got for my efforts was a headach, a beat up plot bunnie and this AxS story. Wonderful. I don't own Hellsing or AxS would be cannon.

Plot Bunnie~ before she got beat up~ Wilma After~ Rachele (yes, they made her get a name change)

3057

"What are you doing?" Alucard asked Seras plopping down in the chair across the table from her.

"We've been doing this for a hundred and fifty God forsaken years," she growled. "You know damn well what I'm doing."

"Remind me."

Seras stood up in a storm. "One hundred and fifty years ago Sir Integra freed us from our bondage to the Hellsing line with her death. Her only wish was for us to leave Brittan, so that the only true Nosferatus left on the planet would be eliminated from Hellsing's territory per her request. So what did we do? We moved to America, home of ridiculous health insurance* and, of course, TAXES! For one hundred and fifty years I've sat here and done these stupid taxes while you sit there and irritate the shit out of me! For the last effing time, I'M DOING TAXES! UNDERSTAND?"

Alucard looked at her unimpressed. "Why do you do it with a feather quill?"

"BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A GOD DAMN PRINCESS!" Seras shouted, an angry fire raging in her eyes. Alucard felt his own eyes widen, and his survival instincts kicked in which forced him to hunch over slightly. Then his ego caught up with him, and he straightened. He, the No-Life-King sniveling before he former fledgling, and now mate? No, that's not how things worked. His wives cowered before him, he didn't cower before them. That's wonderful advise, an irritating voice in is head piped up. Well, it would be if Miss Blonde Spitfire here was just another wife. But, noooooo you had to go make her your mate and a No-Life-Queen and since when did the king boss the queen around? Never, that's when. You "married" her and gave up your title of Holder of the Pants. Quickly deciding this voice was no good, Alucard ignored it, and smirked at the fuming blonde.

"Well, there's no need to be so snippy." Man, you f*cked. Royally.

Seras stared at Alucard, her right eye twitching slightly. "Get. Out. Now." Just do as she says dude.

No clue. Honestly, I don't know what happened. If you liked it review, if you didn't review and flame your poor little heart away. I hope you have fun crushing a small part of a blooming author's dream. *(shakes head in disgust)* That's all.