Fearless

To briefly summarize: A nineteen-year-old girl runs away from home to join SOLDIER, where girls aren't allowed. She'll have to deal with a recent tragedy, newfound but denied love, and insanely intense physical challenges…all while pretending to be a boy.

This is the story of that path; a story of adventure and action, of the quirks of romance, of the tension of being hunted, of incapacitating laughter, of loss and findings and dramatics, and perhaps most importantly... of what happens when the lies explode as the world is turned inside out and upside down.

A/N: So this is my third fanfic to date, also my first for Final Fantasy VII or any other FF for that matter. (Be harsh if you wish. Really, anything for reviews, haha. I didn't understand how essential they are until I started writing!) And, yeah, I've noticed that there are already multiple stories out there about a similar scenario, but I promise any OCs are of my own creation and definitely not Mary Sues - if you don't know what that is, it's a female lead character who basically has all good abilities and characteristics and no flaws - and so is my plot unless of course it purposely coincides with the FFVII or CC game. I'm also well aware that not quite all of these characters show up in the games where they do in my story, but I never have and unfortunately probably never will play them, but don't judge me please? :) However, I have done my research where necessary! *cough Wikipedia cough* I tried to keep the OCs to a minimum considering my main character is of my own creation, so you'll see real game characters pop up from time to time most likely in weird places but I tried to keep it as accurate as possible. I also played with the timeline a bit, doing a little bit of combining Crisis Core with other elements of the FFVII compilation, but I'll address those separate issues when they become important :) Pairings include (but are not limited to) ZackxOC, CloudxTifa, and the occasional VincentxYuffie. Turn back now if you can't handle the insanity o_o haha! Hopefully you can find this to be enjoyable.

Disclaimer: Quite obviously, I do not, never have and never will own Final Fantasy or any of its fabulous characters.

Chapter 1: One Note

I couldn't believe that this was the only place I could run away to. A tree. Up a freaking tree. I really had no freedom at all. But at least no one could see me now. Mom and Dad wouldn't mind for a little bit. They knew I spent just that much more time alone now. Sure, I had friends, but there was always that little gap left. Actually, it was more of a gaping hole.

I just hadn't been able to take it when some officers from the SOLDIER unit of Shinra came by looking for recruits last week. They had thought a young man lived in the Loveless household. I couldn't tell them the truth. I had said he was in an apprenticeship far away from Kalm, which automatically exempts men from the military. I'd heard that SOLDIER didn't like to force men to join up, but I had at least wanted to give a legitimate-sounding excuse. Call me a crowd-pleaser; he always did.

But now here I was, allowing the tears to flow for the first time in…well, a long time. It had really sunk in when I had had to talk to those SOLDIERs, and my mind had just wrapped itself around the fact that he was, in fact, gone.

Devon. My best friend. The one who always stuck up for me. The one who taught me everything and the one to whom I taught everything that was left over. My other half, quite literally. My twin brother.

I watched through blurred eyes as the light in my parents' room went out after their shadows crossed the window. I could at least tell that Mom looked a little anxious and Dad was uneasy as well but trying to reassure her. It was probably my fault. I didn't like to worry them so, as well as my extended family members who lived nearby, but what could I do? No one could try to pretend that the entire family hadn't been affected by my brother's death.

Then again, no one but me felt guilty.

Why couldn't I have done something? If I hadn't been so weak, maybe I could have saved him.

That was why I had seemingly spontaneously thrown myself into physical training in the weeks after it happened. Of course, it was all a secret, with only my older cousin Jonathan to help me. He understood, at least. He got why I wanted to give up being so physically susceptible. I wanted to feel strong, to know I could handle myself. To be fearless because I knew what I wanted and how I was going to get it, and be fully capable of doing so.

Amazingly, I had already changed. I wasn't so soft and harmless. My limbs were tougher and I didn't tire nearly as easily. I was stubborn anyway and Jonathan, who was like a second brother to me, was constantly amazed by me. He said once that he didn't like to admit it, but I was a fast learner and I had some good potential. I thought, maybe my parents should have asked for two boys instead of a boy and a girl. Now they had only their daughter, anyway, so no matter.

The thunder that had been coming closer all afternoon rolled in on the unusually thick air. It was weird for this time of year in Kalm. Suddenly it began to pour rain down. The water mingled with the remnants of the salty tears lingering on my face.

With the rain came a sudden change, and tonight, I had made my choice. I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Already drenched, she jumped down from her perch in the evergreen to land silently on the grass, and strode purposefully into her house and to her room. She had had it all planned for weeks but hadn't even realized it until recently. The visit from the SOLDIERs had awakened her to her own subconscious thoughts, if that made any sense.

It was time to become someone new.

She compactly folded the clothing she needed into a duffel bag and fetched her bag of things from the bathroom. Damn womanhood. That was going to pose a slight problem. Well, at least she had some other things already covered in that respect, she thought, yanking a huge roll of bandages off the counter and making to stuff it into the bag. On second thought…why not dress now? She wasn't planning on stopping anywhere where people might ask questions.

After eight minutes of struggling with the stretch-bandage, punctuated by much swearing under her breath, she was clad in black cargo pants and boots with a white shirt and a black jacket. The knife that her parents didn't know about was inconspicuously hidden up her sleeve. Then she had a thought and whimpered slightly. Her hair. She was going to have to cut it. Normally it fell to halfway down her back in brown something-or-others—some days it hung in ringlets, others it was pin straight. Why? A lovely little thing called genetics... Yeah, make that genetic experimentation. Devon had been the same way because…no. She wasn't going to dwell on painful memories, not while she was escaping.

She sighed and pulled the knife back out, walking to the mirror and judging the length. She really didn't want to lose what she could retain of her feminine side, considering how much it liked to shrink away on occasion. Well, it was common enough for men to wear their hair in a ponytail. So she took a handful and gently pulled it taut, chopping it off with her knife so it now brushed her shoulders. She moved on to another section until her head was a considerable amount lighter. She took out an elastic and whipped it all into a low ponytail, assessing her reflection.

Both she and her twin had those kinds of features that could be slightly tweaked by their genes to look either masculine or feminine, yet still look incredibly similar next to each other. She certainly didn't naturally look like a man, and Devon hadn't looked girly, (they were both actually moderately attractive - not classically so, but with a subtle charm) but with some work, she could pass as the opposite gender. Some work and a lot of caution, she reminded herself, slinging her bag over her shoulder and taking a last look around her room.

Ten minutes and one scribbled note later, she slipped out the door and padded away into the night.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know you must be worried. But don't be—and please promise you won't send anyone after me. I just need to go away for a little bit to somewhere that only I can know about. I hope you can understand. I'll be fine, and I'll come home eventually. Tell the rest of the family that I love you all, and I'll see you again soon anyway. Just remember that I'm not really running away—I'm running to find myself.

Love always,

Diana

A/N: By the way, after this, it stays in a third person point of view. Just sayin'. I know this was wicked short, but it was just for effect :P (Seriously, I've got so much written beyond this that it's not even funny.) If you're interested, please follow along, and I'll post soon to make up for the shortness! Reviews are greatly appreciated—let me know how you like it!