Well, hello. First try at writing a Reborn! fanfiction, hope it turns out not biting me to death.

Warnings: sexual situations involving powerful infants (in their adult forms)

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I own nothing other than a Leon plushie. Amano pwns all.

Slight Miscalculations

Verde only wanted to find out what Viper's gender was, honest!

-

"What are—if you move any closer I'll charge you—"

Verde wasn't exactly sure as to what led him to this. Never in any of his wildest speculations had he ever thought that he would be making out with any of the Arcobalenos and with Viper no less! It was something impossible and he was pretty sure that even with copious amounts of research, there would still be no concrete reason as to why he had Viper pinned against a wall and was kissing the illusionist; quite senseless too, he might add.

He still didn't even know what Viper's gender was!

Well, no matter, he will figure out the age-old riddle of Viper's gender soon enough.

Very soon…

Small hands weakly attempted to push him away, and he mentally noted that illusionists were quite weak when it comes to physical strength. He broke off the kiss to gasp in much needed oxygen only to earn a ringing slap to his right cheek. The action was so abrupt that Verde didn't have the time to even look mildly surprised.

Verde was expecting a slap in all reality. He really was. He was expecting to be subjected to many painful (probably illusory) things but he certainly did not count on the illusionist reversing their positions and kissing him with more fervor than he ever thought possible coming from Viper. (The only time he saw Viper this eager was when Luce had baked cookies and said that they were free).

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell am I doing?! I'm doing research, goddamnit!

The Lightning Arcobaleno made a strangled sound in his throat when the indigo-haired illusionist slipped a tongue inside his mouth and began licking everywhere it can reach. Oh god. He reluctantly let out a small moan when Viper began alternately nibbling and sucking on his bottom lip teasingly.

Viper can seriously kiss.

He groaned partly because his evidences for finding out Viper's gender were still painfully inconclusive and because the Mist Arcobaleno's small body had started rubbing against his in a very, very provocative manner. A gasp wrenched its way out of his lips when Viper's lips suddenly latched themselves on his neck and started sucking, leaving small bite marks in their wake.

Verde was about to push the illusionist away when he felt Viper looking at him like he was some sort of interesting specimen. He felt his skin prickle at this, swallowing the lump that was forming on his throat.

"Did you like the kiss, Verde?" Viper asked, and the scientist found it hard to respond as the other Arcobaleno started unbuttoning his shirt and unbuckling his belt.

Viper smirked at the conflicted expression the other gave and reached down to take Verde's hand to lead it up…

From behind his glasses, Verde's eyes widened.

Viper had boobs.

Viper was a girl.

"You're a girl." He stated, hand still resting on Viper's ample bosom and completely dumbstruck by this sudden discovery.

He was so dumbfounded, in fact, that he did not notice Viper slowly peeling away from him, credit card and bank accounts in hand.

-

La Fin

A/N: Totally half-assed the ending.

Sorry 'bout that. The whole fic was actually born out of a very long conversation with my friends about Viper's gender, and well, this kinda happened inside my head. It was supposed to be a multi-chapter but my head told me to just stick to a one-shot due to my inability to update.

But anyway.

Hits are nice. But Reviews are love. Constructive criticisms are most welcome. Flames will be accepted too.