The sheer number of the people in the tiny apartment that belonged to Ellie and Devon was stiffing. I seriously considered ducking out of my own engagement party and heading out the Morgan door in my old bedroom.

But that was only a fleeting thought. It only took Sarah coming to stand beside me and placing her hand lightly on my arm to keep from going anywhere. Tonight it was red. A low cut red number that fit tightly around her upper body and flared out at the waist making it sway just above her knees when she moved.

God, that woman could wear clothes.

" You don't look like you're having very much fun." She told me as she gave me a smile and reached up to brush a stray curl from my brow. I thought I'd put enough crap in my usually wild hair to keep that from happening but apparently not. Probably because I kept pulling my hand through it. It was a nervous habit I was trying to quit doing. Obviously it wasn't working too well tonight.

" You know me, not big on crowds. And it certainly is crowded in here. I didn't know we knew this many people." I answered, mustering a smile in return for hers.

She chuckled quietly. " Well, they aren't here for me. The only two people in this room I can claim are Casey and Corina. The rest are all your friends."

" My friends." I sighed and looked around.

Lester and Jeff were by the punch bowl, no doubt spiking it and scanning the room for chicks. Corina was standing not too far away from them pretending she didn't notice them ogling her. Big Mike had Morgan locked in a conversation by the buffet table. My father, Devon and Ellie were in the living room and I could see Devon showing off their new ultrasound picture, once again. I had seen it so many times I knew it by heart. Of course I would be the same way when it came my turn, and I was thrilled for my sister and her husband. But there came a point where showing the grainy, hard to see photo off was enough. My father's face was set in a grimace that said he was looking for an escape of his own. Anna was sitting alone in a chair, politely joining their conversation when necessary but otherwise staring a hole through the back of Morgan's head. I wondered briefly what he had done to her this time. And John Casey was walking towards where Sarah and I were standing near the hall.

I was pretty sure everyone I knew in the world was in the room with me.

" General Beckman sends her regards and well wishes." Casey grunted as he came close enough to not be overheard by just anyone.

Sarah nodded in response and I gave him a forced smile.

" What's up with you ? This is your shindig and you look like you're ready to throw up." He asked me, giving me the patented ' Casey' once over.

Sarah rested her head on my chest and smiled. " You know how he is with crowds."

" Jeez, Bartowski, if you're like this over the engagement party, how are you going to get through the wedding ?"

I blanched and paled immediately.

Sarah moved her head so that she could see my face and smiled at me brightly. " He'll manage. And he'll have help, because you and Morgan are going to get him through."

" Is he okay ?" Ellie asked as she came up to join us.

" I'm fine." I answered after clearing my throat. " I just need a little air. It's stuffy in here."

Casey sat his drink down on a nearby table and grabbed my shoulder. " That sounds like a plan. Let's go for a walk."

I nodded and kissed Sarah quickly before letting him lead me away from her and out the front door.

" What's up with you ?" Casey asked me the minute we'd shut the door behind us.

I spread my arms out to the sides and sprayed my hands. " I have no idea. I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed suddenly."

He grunted in his usual way and turned to me sharply. " You aren't having second thoughts, are you ?"

My eyebrows shot to my hairline in surprise and gaped at him. " What ? No, of course not. It's nothing like that."

He nodded in acceptance of my answer. " It better not be because you asked and now I've never seen her happier. Let me just make it very clear, You will be marrying Walker whether you want to or not."

" So now this has become a shotgun wedding."

" I prefer something a little smaller caliber and more compact, but whatever it takes." He shrugged.

I walked to the fountain in the middle of the courtyard of the apartment building and sat down on its edge heavily. " It has nothing to do with not wanting to marry her. Of course I want that. I still can't believe she said yes."

" Me either." He agreed coming to sit beside me.

I rolled my eyes at him. " Thanks."

He shrugged again. " Just being honest."

" A little less honesty wouldn't kill you." I advised.

" I don't know what bugs crawled up your ass lately and frankly I couldn't care less. The two of you with all you ' girl feelings' really just leaves me nausea. But I do know that you've come a long way over the last few years. I find myself not wanting to shot you near as often and that has to count for something."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Wow, thanks Casey. That almost sounded like a compliment."

" It's as close as you're going to get so be thankful you got that much." He told me. " My point is I want you to know that I'm here to help. Whatever you need, just ask."

I turned and gaped at him in surprise. " That was the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

He nodded and got a half smug, half embarrassed smile on his face. " Don't get used to it. You're still a moron."

" And you're still a cold, heartless bastard so everything is right with the world." I answered.

" Exactly. Let's keep it that way."

We heard the front door to my sister's apartment open and close and turned our heads in unison to see who was invading on our moment. Sarah gave me a warm smile as she came over and took a seat next to me.

" Remember what I said." Casey nodded towards me as he stood.

" The part about the helping or the part about being a moron ?" I asked trying to hide my smile. Sometimes it was immensely fun to tweak his buttons.

" Both." He answered before going back inside and leaving us alone.

Sarah's hand wrapped around my bicep and she pulled me to her and placed a soft kiss against my lips.

" You want to talk about whatever's been bothering you the last few days ?" She asked quietly.

" It's nothing." I shrugged. " Well, it's something. I just have no idea what."

She kissed my cheek before putting her head on my shoulder. " Whenever you figure it out and you're ready to talk about it, I'm here."

" I know." I answered, kissing her temple.

" Do you want to sneak out of here and go home ?"

I laughed. " You want to duck out of our own engagement party ?"

Her hand dropped from my arm and landed on my thigh. Then she squeezed my leg before moving her hand slowing upward." Maybe just for a little bit. No one will even notice we're gone. They're all having a good time without us."

I raised my eyebrows as I turned my face towards hers. " Really ?"

Her look changed suddenly and it made my heartbeat jump. " You always ask me that. Yes, Chuck, really. When are you going to get it through your head ?"

" Get what through my head ? What do you mean ?"

She stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me along with her. " We need to talk." She announced as she tugged me towards our apartment across the courtyard from Ellie and Devon's.

Once inside, she closed the door and let go of me before beginning to pace restlessly.

" Sarah ?" I asked hesitantly. She was scaring me now. Was she changing her mind ? Had I done something wrong ? Had my mood for the last few days given her second thoughts ?

Then the thought that was always running around in the back of my head popped to the surface. This is it. This is when the other shoe is going to drop. This is the moment when all this falls apart and I lose her forever. It was something I tried not to think about, but it was always there. I'd always felt like there was no possible way I was going to be allowed to keep her. Not really. I could pretend all I wanted, but sometime, somehow it would be over. And now the moment was staring me in the face. Guys like me don't end up with girls like Sarah.

Morgan had said something similar to me months earlier, right before the most fantastic few days of my life. Right before everything changed and Sarah became truly mine. Right before Paris. He probably wouldn't even remember saying it if I asked him about it. But it had stuck. Always there in my mind. Always the same question, how long can this possibly last ?

" I can't do this anymore." She announced when she finally stopped pacing and turned to me with a look that terrified me.

" What ? What did I do ?" I asked, coming to stand in front of her, not daring at actually touch her, but standing so close I could if I wanted to.

" You have to stop, Chuck. We can't go on like this."

" I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you leaving ?"

She huffed out a breath of air in frustration and whirled away from me to resume her pacing. " That's what you're expecting, right ? It's always been what you're expecting."

" That's not-" I almost denied it, but she spun on me as if daring me to actually say it and I stopped. "Okay, maybe it is."

Her hands went to her hips and her eyes narrowed at me dangerously. If I had been a ring agent, I would have confessed everything to her at that look. "Haven't I told you that I love you ? Haven't I proven that to you over and over again ?"

I had no answer for her. Of course she had. She had never given me a reason to doubt her feelings for me. These were my insecurities rearing their ugly head and they had very little to do with her. " I'm sorry." was all I managed to say.

" I don't want you to be sorry, Chuck. I want you to believe in me." She told me, coming to stand in front of me and putting her hands on my shoulders. " What can I say or do to make you trust me when I tell you there is nothing in the world I want more than you ?"

I wasn't sure there was anything she could say or do to make me believe that and I told her as much.

She shook her head in disappointment. " Maybe if you could tell me why you can't believe me it would help."

I dropped my eyes to the floor, refusing to look at her out of embarrassment. " It's just that you are so....you and I'm just so......me." I tried to explain.

" What ?" She asked, clearly not understand what I was trying to say.

I stepped away from her and sat down on the edge of our overstuffed navy blue sofa. " You are, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. And I'm not just saying that because I'm in love with you. People on the street turn their heads to watch you walk by. Did you know that? Have you ever noticed ? You can literally stop traffic just by walking down the sidewalk." I told her, struggling to clarify. She opened her mouth as if she were about to argue, but I held up my hand to stop her. " It's more than that though. You can do that to strangers and they don't even know the real you. I can't imagine what would happen if there was some way for them to see in that glance how capable and strong you are, how warm and funny and charming and loving and smart. You are absolutely everything that anyone could ever want. The perfect woman. And for some inexplicable reason you've chosen me. Me ? Sometimes I don't even feel like I deserve the right to breath the same air you do, rather less get to hold you every night and hear you tell me you love me. I'm so afraid that you are going to wake up some morning, look over at me and suddenly realize that you could do so much better."

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it before any words came out. Then she tried again, but still nothing happened. Finally she came to me and knelt down on the floor at my feet. Her hands came to rest on my thighs and she looked up at me with I look I couldn't define. There were tears brimming her eyes though, that part was pretty obvious. The rest was lost on me. " I have no idea what to say to that." She told me, not helping me in the lest as I tried to read her reaction. " I wish you could see yourself like I see you." She said finally after simply staring at me for a few long moments. " Then you'd understand exactly why I'm here and why I'm not ever going to do better than you."

" See ?" I said. " You say things like that and I feel like I need to look behind me to see who you're talking to."

She laughed. " And that's one of the reasons I love you. You have no idea how special you are."

" Again, me ?"

She sighed and brushed her hand across my cheek. " Chuck, this is ridiculous. How can you not understand how incredible you are ?"

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it tightly. " I'm not incredible, Sarah. That's just it. I'm the most average guy in the world. Other than the fact that I have a computer in my head, there is absolutely nothing out the ordinary about me."

" You're so wrong." She whispered before leaning up and kissing me softly. Then she pulled back and looked me in the eye. " You are the warmest, funniest, most charming, brave, capable man I've ever meet. And I'm not just saying that because I'm in love with you. Everyone knows it. All those people in that apartment over there know it. Anyone that's ever spent more than a few moments with you knows it."

" Casey thinks I'm a moron." I interjected just to lighten the mood a bit.

She laughed. " See, no matter what the circumstances, you can always make me laugh. You think you aren't capable of taking care of yourself, but that's not true. You are more than capable. I trust you completely. And so does Casey. He's my partner, Chuck. Do you really think he'd be okay with you going into missions as my backup if he didn't trust you ? He takes his job very seriously. If he thought for a second you couldn't handle yourself, you would never get out the door. And Morgan, he looks up to you like you're some kind of God. Ellie depends on you, Lester and Jeff would do just about anything for you. All these people seem to be able to see all the things that you can't. I wish I could make you understand what I see when I look at you."

" What's that ?" I asked. " What do you see that I'm obviously missing ?"

She leaned up again and brought her body to rest against the seat of the couch. My legs rested on either side of her hips and her hands were once again on my thighs, easing slowly upwards. " That I'm the lucky one." She told me, simply, easily and with such sincerity I actually believed her. For the first time since she told me she loved me, I really believed her. Sarah loved me. Sarah wanted me. Sarah thought she was lucky to have me.

My hands went around her instantly and I brought my lips down to hers in a crash of heady, emotional possessiveness that I'd never really let myself feel before. She was mine, all mine, and she was always going to be mine. I felt like I needed to show her that, to make her see that I may have finally gotten it. She shoved me backwards and began to crawl up my body, not stopping until she was resting in my lap as the kiss deepened even more than I thought possible.

" God, I love you so much." I ground out as we panted for air for a moment before plunging back into the same kind of searing kiss as before. We had always been good at this, it had never been one of our issues, but it had never felt quite this intense before. This was different, it was more. There was so much emotion churning between us that the world felt like it was spinning backwards.

" I love you back." She panted between hurried kisses as she pulled my shirt over my head without bothering with the buttons. " And I need you now."

I gathered her into my arms and amazed myself as I hefted her up with me as I stood. I stumbled towards the bedroom with her wrapped around me, her legs around my waist holding tightly and her arms twined around my shoulders.

I kicked the door closed and sat her down long enough to divest both of us of our clothing. She was happy to help me and I couldn't believe how eager she seemed.

My back hit the door as soon as we were both unclothed and her body flattened against mine, shoving me forcefully into the hard wood behind me. She was grinding against me and I gasped at the feeling as her hands ran over my chest and her lips found my neck.

" Sarah," I practically whined as her hips mushed into mine and I felt how hot she was already. How was it possible that I could have such an effect on her ?

I swooped down and grabbed her hips in my hands, lifting her off the floor and she quickly put her legs back around my waist. Stumbling, I got us over to the bed and dropped her onto the edge of it. Her legs remained around me and tightened as she shifted her hips in a circular motion that made me see stars.

She suddenly let me go and laid back against the bed. I watched in rapture as her breasts jumped with each panting breath she drew in. Her hand caught mine and she raised her head up to look at me. Then she guided my hand down to her center and I could feel how hot and wet she was again.

" Can you feel how badly I want you ?" She asked, her eyes dark and lust filled as they held mine.

" God, yes." I moaned as I let my finger trail through her curls.

" See what you do to me ?"

She made her point. I understood what she was saying and I didn't answer. Instead I grabbed her hips, yanked her forward and drove myself into her all the way to the hilt.

She barely stifled the scream that almost bubbled out of her lips with the unexpected move and I tried to hid my smile at her reaction.

Her legs tightened again, pulling me deeper still and I nearly faltered as my knees threatened to give out from the feeling.

My head was spinning and I was shaking almost uncontrollably. Just knowing how much I affected her was making me dizzy. I had seen the evidence before. I knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her, but the thought never really sank into my brain until that moment.

My movements were frantic and she bucked her hips against me the same way. We were driven, nothing else existing in the world besides the two of us and what was happening right then. I'd never in my life felt anything so vivid, so intense. It was like colors exploding all around us as we rocked closer and closer to the point of no return.

Sarah got there just as I felt I couldn't hold back any longer. Her back arched up off the bed and her eyes clenched closed as she practically yelled my name towards the ceiling. I followed right along with her, digging my hands into her hips so acutely I was sure there would be bruises later, but she certainly wasn't complaining and I couldn't make myself let her go.

I tumbled forward, falling over her body because my knees finally did give out and I had no where else to go but either forward or down. But I only stayed there for a moment, realizing a touch belatedly that I was probably heavy and she was already struggling for air.

I rolled to the side and laid there looking at the ceiling listening to us both gasp and pant. In a moment, she turned and cuddled into my side. I dropped my arm around her waist heavily as it wasn't possible for me to accomplish anything that required more motor skills than that.

" See, I told you, you are incredible." She said as she laid a kiss to my shoulder.

He leaned my head up enough to kiss her temple lightly. " You are incredible. I just went along for the ride." I answered.

" Quit." She told me, raising her head and giving me a firm look.

I nodded and gulped in another breath. " Okay. I'm incredible."

She laid her head back down. " That's better."

I heard a distant ringing sound and it occurred to me that it was my phone which was lay on the floor by the door in the pocket of my discarded pants.

Padding across the room, I snatched it out and pushed the button to connect the call. " Hello ?"

" Where are you ? Everyone is looking for you." Ellie began quickly. " Really Chuck ? You ducked out of your own party."

" We're on our way back now. We didn't duck out. We just took a walk." I tried to explain.

" I'm standing outside my front door, Chuck. I can see the lights on in your apartment." She informed me.

" Alright." I conceded as Sarah and both began to get redressed. " We ducked, but we'll be right back."

We were standing at my sister's door a few minutes later. " Seriously ?" She asked me in that motherly voice that I knew so well.

" What ?" I asked, playing innocent for all it was worth.

" You could be a little more subtle about what you were sneaking off to do." She told me.

" We just needed to talk. That's all." I argued.

She planted her hands on her hips and shook her head. " Your shirt's on inside out." She announced before turning on her heel and going back inside.