Disclaimer: Transformers © Hasbro
Warnings: Mistaken identity and "gender confusion" in a sense.
Notes: Oh... my god. This has been trying to get out of my head for a week, but I held off while trying to get this semester wrapped up and keep from murdering Professor Flakenstein. Now, though, I've gotten it out of my head.

Mistaken Identity

It had been about a few months since he'd been to Diego Garcia – that sort of happened when you were still in college and had midterms to deal with even after saving the world yet again – so Sam wasn't surprised to note that there were a few new faces on base.

He'd already met Hound, the resident tracker who for obvious reasons opted to take on a Jeep Wrangler alt mode, and Mirage, a blue mech with a Porsche alt mode that was the head of intelligence having apparently been Jazz's immediate second, but there was still one more that had arrived with the pair that he hadn't been introduced to as yet.

Needless to say, Sam was a bit startled to walk out onto the tarmac with Bumblebee – who was trying to keep Skids and Mudflap separated as usual – and spot the last newcomer literally perched on Sideswipe's arm as the pair of them and Ironhide conversed in their native language.

From what he could make out, the unidentified 'bot probably had a similar alt as Arcee (she was still adapting to having only one component to control once again, but had recovered enough to harass the mechs around her and bemoan being 'outnumbered by mechs' the last time he'd talked with Mikaela) except where Arcee was blue this new motorcycle was red. She didn't seem bothered by the fact that the mechs she was talking with were well over twice her own size, shifting position to slide down and rest more comfortably in the bend of Sideswipe's arm; the mech carefully bought said arm around to give the 'cycle a more secure perch.

"Who's the new chick?" Sam asked, and only realized that he must have said the wrong thing with everyone fell silent and turned to look between him and the 'bot still perched on Sideswipe.

Just as abruptly as the silence had fallen it was broken as the red 'bot suddenly burst into laughter, very nearly falling from her perch and having to be caught by a quick-thinking Ironhide, as Sideswipe was now staring at the 'cycle as if she had gone insane right before his optics.

"Gonna hurt yourself one of these days, 'Jumper," Ironhide groused as he set the red 'bot on the ground, letting out an exasperated and somewhat amused huff. The motorcycle swatted at him absently and rolled over to where the twins had shuffled behind Bee, bending at the waist slightly to look Sam in the eye.

"Kid, where the slag didja get the idea that 'small and thin' means 'femme'?" the motorcycle asked, still obviously amused, with a voice that possessed a faint yet masculine southern drawl. Sam started to stammer out an apology even as the other mechs let out what sounded like sighs of relief, only to stop his attempts when the red mech started snickering again. "Don't worry 'bout it, it happens. I mean, frag, Mister Lookit Me Now I'm Silver over there thought I was a femme at first, too."

Sideswipe groaned and slapped one hand over his optics. "Cliffjumper, why do you have to tell everyone about that?" he complained. The small red mech only grinned wickedly in response and rolled back over to pat his leg in an almost condescending manner.

Ironhide huffed and settled back on his heels, crossing his arms and smirking as the other two started snipping back and forth at one another. Sam shook his head and turned to go back into the hangar. If there was only one thing he'd learned from talking to Mikaela over the past few months, it was that when any couple started arguing – even playfully – it was probably best to get the hell out of the way and out of the line of fire.

He could always find Cliffjumper later to get blackmail material on Sideswipe; it sounded like the motorcycle had plenty of that to spare.

End Note: Yes, I am well aware that movie!Cliffjumper is basically (once again) a Bumblebee repaint. I like to fuck with the status quo and keep my minibots miniature. Ergo, motorcycle!Cliffjumper. No worries, he's got a great sense of humour; he has to in order to put up with Sideswipe's crap.....

And, oddly, in my head movie!Cliffjumper sounds a lot like Christian Kane (aka Eliot Spencer from "Leverage" and/or Lindsey McDonald from "Angel").

Added 4/28/2010: Due to popular demand for more in this universe and my own insanity, there will be at minimum a sequel – or rather a prequel – to this story. It will appear as a second chapter, and I'm currently working on it. I'm just a teeny bit held up with one minor thing, so hopefully it'll be up by the weekend. Thanks for reading!