A/N: Okay, so this is my first proper attempt at a story. I have no BETA, so please excuse the many errors i'm sure you'll find. I'm a terrible writer (oh, the irony), and I don't expect anyone to read (let alone review) this, but I need to unleash this somewhere. Livejounral gives me a damn headache. Soooo... Let the games begin!

Please note that this story will be told from Bella's POV unless indicated otherwise.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter Song: These Days by Powderfinger

PROLOGUE:

It had been three agonizing, endless days since I was admitted into Seattle Hospital in Washington. It was far from my home in Arizona, and I was intensely homesick. Warm tears fell down my face as I stared at my mother. She was reading a magazine that she bought at one of those hospital convenience stores for five dollars. She looked so damn complacent considering we were sitting in the fucking ER. Was I pissed off at her for dragging me here? Absolutely. Was I hurt? More so than you could ever imagine.

This was the first time my mother ever willingly brought me to the hospital.

"I want to go for a walk." I said with defiance. I could hear my mothers sigh, loud and resigning. She flipped through her magazine for several minutes before her response crushed any sense of hope I had left.

"You know you can't do that, sweetheart."

"I'm going to go fucking crazy if I don't go for a walk. This place is making me want to fucking shoot myself in the head. Maybe I should do it considering everyone thinks I will anyway."

"Please don't start this again, Bella. You sound so melodramatic."

"Fuck, mom!"

I had been laying in the same bed for days now, wishing more than anything that the sun would be hitting my face and sending radiating heat rays through me. Instead I was greeted with cold fluorescent lights that made everything glow a ominous green shade. Renee found me on the bathroom floor unconscious and I woke up in this place. Since there was a shortage of beds, I had to wait until a room became available for me.

A nurse came half an hour ago to tell us that I was being moved to a room on the third floor. She then spoke to my mother privately and since then she was chipper. It made me want to scream at her. Of course she was happy. She got to get out of this fucking hospital. She got to sleep in a proper bed. She got to shower and eat whenever she wanted.

"We're ready to take you up to your room, Isabella." The female nurse said to me, smiling.

I spared another glance at my mother, who refused to look at me properly since she brought me here. I didn't bother to hide the disappointed look on my face, not that she'd see it anyway. Two nurses wheeled my hospital bed toward the lift on the opposite end of the wing. The sound of metal rusting echoed loudly against the narrow hallways as we entered the large elevator.

"Everything's going to be okay, Isabella. This is nothing to be afraid of, we promise."

"What do you mean nothing to be afraid of? I don't understand. What's happening?" I asked the nurse nervously. They looked at my mother and then at me in confusion. I could feel my heart drop to my stomach. No wonder mom couldn't look at me. She was hiding something from me – something vitally important.

"Mom. You need to tell me what's happening."

For the first time in three days she really looked at me. Her blue eyes were dull and lifeless. I wasn't sure what I saw in her empty eyes, but I didn't like it at all.

"This is for your own good, sweetheart."

"What the fuck is happening?"

No one spoke as we walked out of the lifts and toward Ward C4. My heart was beating so hard and fast, I was expecting it to break free from the confinements of my skin. I didn't have to work in this hospital to know where I was heading. Ward C4 was a place that could only be entered and exited with the use of metallic swipes. Visitors had to check in with reception first. It was a psychiatric ward.

"No. No. No! No! No! NO! Mom, don't leave me in this place! Don't do this to me!" My voice was pleading with her. I didn't care how desperate I sounded in that moment, because all I felt was desperation. I tried to jump out of my bed to make a run for it, but it was pointless. I felt large arms encircle me from behind, and a foreign scream I never knew could erupt from my was piercing my eardrums.

"Bella, honey, please stop screaming!" Renee was trying to yell over me. It was no use, really. Nothing would calm me down now I knew were I was headed.

"You can't leave me here! Mom, please!"

"This is for your own good, sweetheart! Please let these people look after you!"

I was carried into my room kicking and screaming along with my bed. I screamed and cried until my throat was raw and thick. I couldn't see through my swollen eyes. They left me alone, my mother included for several hours before I saw them again. My sore eyes scanned the room. My single hospital bed was in the middle of the room. For some reason I was reminded of a operating table. There was mold on the ceiling of the roof and the room smelt like dust and musk. I wept loudly, sinking to the ground.

Why was this happening to me? I couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand anything that has happened to me in the past eight years.

"Alice. Alice, please. I need you. Don't leave me here all alone." I whispered through my sobs.

"I'm here, Bee." Her chime like voice responded almost instantly. Through my blurry eyes I looked at my best friend. She looked so sad and broken. Her layered hair was growing to her shoulders now and her grey eyes shining with threatening tears. "What on earth has she done to you?"

"She's leaving me here! All alone! Oh god, Alice, this is all my fault, isn't it?"

"No! Of course not!" She took my hands into her own. "But the sooner you come to accept that I am not-"

"Don't say it. Just don't, Alice." I snapped at her. She bit her lip to prevent the words she wanted to spill out of them. Even if she didn't speak the words, I knew what she was wanting to say to me. It made me feel furious, but discontent at the same time. She shook her head gently, her raven locks moving rhythmically with her.

"Why am I here?" I asked her despondently.

"I thought it was obvious by now, Bee." Her voice was incredulous now. She didn't let go of my hands as she said, "You are absolutely mad. That mind of yours is your greatest enemy."