Learning 'Heart'
The sky was glowing a gentle orange color, the characteristic color of Twiligh Town's skies. The atmosphere fit the easy going pace of the late afternoon, people going about their activities at their own speed which would make even an onlooker feel relaxed just by watching. But underneath the town, in the underground tunnels were two people who were fighting this natural pace of the town. And literally fighting.
"Take this!"
Roxas swung his Keyblade down, the blade slashing through the dark body of the last Heartless. He took a moment to watch the heart rise from its rapidly vanishing body, and wiped his sweaty brow with the sleeve of his coat. He turned to his partner, who had just put away his chakrams.
"That should do it for today," Axel said. "Wanna RTC?"
Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Huh? But what about ice cream?"
His companion grinned. "Just kidding. I kinda wanted to check if you were the same old stiff I babysat before."
He rolled his eyes. "Right, right. And just for that, you're the one buying today."
Axel just smiled and shook his head. They emerged from the underground tunnel that exited into the back alley. They were just about to turn toward Market Street when Roxas heard something.
"Olette, wait!"
Their training kicking in, Axel and Roxas immediately dived for cover back into the underground tunnel. They hadn't forgotten that they were supposed to interact as little as possible with the residents of each world. Still, that couldn't stop Roxas from being curious and sneeking a peak at what was going on.
Roxas saw a girl with wavy brown hair running out of a small gated alley, followed immediately by a blonde boy. He recognized them as the two people he had run into during his day off from his missions for the Organization: Hayner and Olette, if he remembered correctly.
Hayner grabbed Olette by the wrist, stopping her from running away. From what Roxas could see, Olette didn't look too good. Her face was all scrunched up, and there was water coming out of her eyes. She was also trying to pull away from Hayner.
"Olette, please... I'm really sorry..."
Roxas frowned at the scene. He couldn't understand what was going on. He turned to Axel, who was also leaning out to get a good look at what was happening.
"What's going on? Is Hayner attacking her?"
Axel gave him a curious look. "Hayner? You mean the guy? Dunno, looks like they got into a fight."
Roxas immediately got up. He was about to rush out of their hiding spot if Axel hadn't pulled him back. "What the heck are you doing?? You know we can't interfere!"
"I know, but Hayner's about to throw her!"
A blank look passed Axel's face. "Huh? Throw?"
"Isn't that why he grabbed her hand? To do a grappling throw?"
Axel sighed. "I think you spent too much time at the Olympus Coliseum. No, he's not going to throw her. He just wanted her to stop is all."
"Oh... okay." Roxas glanced at them again. Hayner was mumbling to her, but Olette still had her eyes closed, water flowing out. "Hey Axel, what about that water coming from her eyes? Is she sweating?"
Axel rolled his eyes. "No, she's not sweating. She's crying. It's something the Somebodies do when they feel really strong emotions." He pointed to Olette. "See? She looks pretty sad, doesn't she?"
"Oh... okay." Sad. He knew the word by name but that was it.
Roxas continued to observe them. For some reason, he found it very interesting, the way Somebodies behaved. Hayner had stopped mumbling words, and Olette was still crying. It looked like he was at a loss at what to do. But then he suddenly pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her tightly.
"Hey Axel, what's he doing? Is he trying to crush her?"
Axel slapped him lightly at the back of the head. "No, stupid. It's called a hug. It's another thing Somebodies do to make themselves feel better. Honestly, its like I'm babysitting a five year old."
"But I'm not even one year old yet."
"Oh... right."
Roxas continued to watch the scene in front of him. Olette was still crying, but it looked like she returned the 'hug' and was squeezing Hayner as tightly as she could. Hayner responded in the same way.
"Are you sure they're not trying to hurt each other? They're really squezing."
"Yes, I'm sure," Axel answered impatiently.
"And 'hugs' make them feel better? The tighter they squeeze, the better they feel?"
"Yeah, yeah." It looked like Axel was beginning to lose interest in the situation. Roxas glanced at him. For some reason, he looked melancholic. "Come on, Roxas."
Roxas nodded silently. He glanced back at Hayner and Olette. He vaguely wondered if he, as a Somebody, had given and received 'hugs'. He couldn't remember, much less could he remember what they felt like. It made him feel strangely empty.
He looked upward, the twilight sky making him even more contemplative. Did a heart make really so much of a difference?
-x-
Roxas walked through the large hallways of their base, the Castle That Never Was. He had been feeling a bit weird ever since he got back from Twilight Town, more conscious of the fact that he was a Nobody. And now that he was back at the castle, everything around him seemed to reflect Nothingness. It was all bleak and grey wherever he looked. Either that, or it was the dark city below and the stormy sky above it. The only thing that seemed radiant was the floating moon that was Kingdom Hearts.
He paused in fron of Xion's door. He was a little worried about her, since she hadn't shown up for the usual ice cream after missions. It hadn't helped that when he asked Saix about it, the Lunar Divider just scoffed and went away.
He raised a gloved hand and knocked on her door. "Xion? You there?"
He didn't hear an answer, but nevertheless he pushed the door open. Xion was there. She was sitting on her bed, a number of seashells at her side as she gazed out her window to the glowing moon.
Roxas took a tentative step inside her room. "Xion?"
She turned to him, finally noticing his presence. "Oh... hi Roxas. Something wrong?"
Roxas crossed the room, standing next to her bed. "I'm the one who should be asking that. You didn't show up for ice cream earlier."
"Sorry, my mission took a bit longer than I thought it would," she answered, smiling weakly.
"Is that all?"
"Yeah, that's it."
Roxas crossed his arms with his brows furrowed. He wasn't sure why he didn't really trust Xion's words. Maybe it was because her face was scrunched up just like Olette's earlier.
"Are you... sad?"
Xion looked away. "We can't feel Roxas."
"I know but... there must be something wrong. Just talk to me, Xion. I know you're not telling me something." He looked at her straight in the eyes. "Aren't we friends?"
Xion looked straight back at him. She sighed, got up from her bed and went to the window. "I've just been having a really bad day Roxas... I nearly failed my mission. Then Saix had to chew me out, calling me a disgrace to the Organization... nothing more than a puppet."
She heaved another sigh. "I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, am I real? Was I ever real? Or am I really just a Nobody... or maybe even something less..." She turned to face Roxas, forcing another weak smile. "I guess if I were a Somebody, you'd call this being sad, huh?"
Roxas stayed silent. He didn't know what emotions were, or whether or not Xion was really feeling them. All he knew is that his friend was hurt. Before he knew it, he was already pulling Xion into a gentle hug.
Xion didn't bother hiding her surprise. "R-Roxas? What are you doing??"
Though he couldn't explain why, he felt for some reason that the situation was quite embarrassing. Still, he persisted with the hug. "I-I saw some people doing it earlier. Axel said it makes people feel better." He squeezed her a little tighter. "Does it?"
Xion remained silent, thinking for a moment. As a Nobody, they said she had no feelings. But what was she supposed to call the state she was in earlier? How could she explain the fact that it was fading away, now that she could feel and touch somebody so close to her, supporting her?
She returned the embrace. "Yeah... I feel better. Thanks, Roxas."
Before Roxas could answer, the door creaked open and Axel waltzed in. "Hey Xion, you didn't show up earlier so I thought I'd--" He stopped in his tracks, seeing the position his two friends were in. He narrowed his eyes at Roxas.
Roxas immediately backed up from Xion, raising his hands defensively. "Xion looked a little sad earlier so I thought--"
"We Nobodies don't have feelings, Roxas," Axel cut in sharply. "You should know that by now. And those things that Somebodies do, crying, hugging, those things only matter if you have a heart. We can't feel them the way we're supposed to. All we have are the ghost of memories to rely on..." When he said this, his expression grew softer, a forlorn expression of longing.
It finally occurred to Roxas that Axel had clear meories of his being a Somebody. He remembered what it was like to cry, to hug, to feel. And now that he was a Nobody, how he couldn't experience those things as he had before.
Shaking himself out of his stupor, Axel continued, "Anyway, that's why you shouldn't-- Hey!"
He was caught off guard as both Roxas and Xion jumped at him, catching him with their open arms and trapping him in an embrace. He tried to wriggle out of their hold but they were clinging to him tightly. He saw their faces, set on trying to make him feel better. He couldn't help but sigh and smile.
He patted the two on the head. "When do you two plan on letting go of me?"
"As soon as you feel better," Xion answered.
"So hurry up and feel better already," Roxas added. "I don't know why, but this is kinda embarrassing."
Axel's smile broadened. They were Nobodies because they weren't supposed to exist. But to these two, his existence, his very well-being was important. He felt happy, even if this happiness may be only something that his empty body remembers. He returned the hug. For some reason, it almost felt like he had a heart.
"Hey Xion, they say it feels better the tighter you squeeze," Roxas suddenly said.
"Huh? No, wait! I already feel better so-- OWOWOWOW!!"
A/N: I realized that I've never written a strictly canon fic for Kingdom Hearts, so I wanted to try it out. Feels a bit constricting, but not bad. And I like the idea that what I've written can be inserted easily into the canon.
This was the idea I had a while back, writing a fic about the Roxas-Axel-Xion trio. I always thought it would be fun poking at how Roxas was clueless about the things about life. Still, I realize that it would be pretty hard to write more based on this idea while keeping inside the canon. But we'll see, I might get a lot of ideas and turn it into a multi-chap thing. Please review!