Never a Great Man

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Title comes from the Olive Schreiner quote: "There was never a great man who had not a great mother."
I haven't written in forever, but that's no excuse for you guys - let me know what you really think, please and thank you.

"Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Spencer Reid thinks a lot.

He thinks about the people that he knows, the clothes that he wears, the cases that he's helped solve, and everything in between.

In the years that he's been alive, Spencer Reid has been tortured, held hostage multiple times, shot, and he can't forget the fact that he's found himself staring down the barrel of a gun at least four times (so many more if you count Tobias Hankel).
Maybe that's why Spencer thinks about the people that he hasn't been able to save as much as the people he has.

During the case where Hotch and his team encountered "The Fisher King," Elle Greenaway was shot due to a press conference which, according to the UnSub, was against the rules of his 'game.' Elle survived, but it was clear to Spencer that she was far too unstable to return to work as soon as she did. He should have said something, but instead he told her that she had won.
"Here's to winning," she said, and then she went and shot William Lee (Spencer had no doubt that it was in cold blood, despite Elle's story). Elle wasn't charged, she was merely "protecting herself" - but in the end, she resigned. Spencer Reid knows that he should have said something. Maybe it would have changed something, maybe Elle wouldn't have murdered a man, maybe she wouldn't have resigned.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Nathan Harris, Spencer thinks, could be classified as a successful rescue. He saved Nathan's life from multiple things - jail, murder, death... that's not something one forgets, especially when they have an eidetic memory. Of course, Spencer worries about Nathan's future; what if he does become a serial killer?

"Then you catch him."

Tobias Hankel was a bittersweet story. To think about the struggle between Tobias and his other personalities (his father, Charles, and the archangel Raphael), the struggle that Spencer himself witnessed after Hankel kidnapped him - it made his head hurt. The personality of Raphael believed that he was doing God's work by murdering the sinners; Charles was domineering and abusive (both verbally and physically), and that was what almost killed Spencer; Tobias, however, was just a young man who had too many problems to survive on his own. Spencer had to shoot Tobias in the end (technically it was the personality of Charles Hankel that Spencer was shooting at), and the additional personalities died with Tobias. Spencer likes to think that Tobias was finally free.

He hopes that Tobias got to see his mother again.

Now, as Spencer sits with his mother in the large sitting area of Bennington Sanitarium, these feelings begin to fill his head; soon thoughts are spilling from his lips. Diana Reid sits across from him, holding a cup of jell-o and listening intently. Spencer sometimes wonders if she's trying to make up for the times that she ignored him during her episodes.
He goes on for what seems like hours, although they both know that it was just a few minutes; when he finally finishes, Spencer looks at his mother with eyes full of confusion and despair. Diana knows that he is unsure of what to do - should he think on it more, or should he try and move on to something else?

Setting down her empty cup, Diana sits back and rests her head in her hand, gazing at her son with a mixture of pride and motherly concern.
"I am about to tell you something that you've heard a million times from your team," she says. "It's true, though."
Spencer leans forward; he's well aware of what she's about to tell him.

"You can't always be a hero."

Maybe he just needed to hear it from his mother all along.