So Close, Yet So Far

"You saw her?" asked Lucy, her eating utensils clattering onto the table as she stared back at me with disbelief.

"Aye, I did, albeit briefly."

"When? Where?" demanded Peter as he shot out of his chair, absently knocking over a platter full of chicken.

"Last night, while you all slept."

"Why didn't you wake us?" said Edmund, his face contorted slightly as he glared back at me.

Dropping into the nearest chair, I slid a shaking hand through my hair. I felt overwhelmed by the knowledge that I had found that which I had sought so fervently, only to lose it once more. Yet I could not deny her siblings the truth. I owed them that much and more. "I felt restless so I decided to take a walk. I confess that I took no notice of where I was going. Thoughts of Susan were on my mind and they occupied every moment of my walk. I strode down streets and alleyways, consumed by my desire to see her. I remember coming upon a dimly lit corner, promptly sensing the presence of another nearby. A sweet voice spoke to me. One I hadn't heard in so long. Yet it was one I knew so well."

"What did she say?" wondered Lucy as she worried her lower lip between her teeth.

"My name. She called me Caspian."

Slamming his goblet down upon the table, Edmund snorted with derision. "Of course she would call you that, you spineless git. What other name would she call you by but that which is yours by right?"

Peter slapped him hard across the back of his head, hoping that it would keep Edmund at bay. "Don't pay him any mind. He gets this way when something is not to his liking. Insults, as you know, have always been Edmund's forte."

Curling my hands into tight fists, I narrowed my eyes and nodded as I considered everything that had happened the night before. "She's afraid. Most of all, she is in denial. I think she believes that I am but a figment of her imagination. She kept saying that it could not be. It was as if she had truly closed herself off to the possibility of ever seeing me again."

Cleaning up Peter's mess, Lucy nervously fingered the edge of the silver platter. "What else did she say? Does she want to see us?"

"I don't know, Lu. I told her that you were all here. Yet she was not convinced. She balked at the thought. I tried to console her, but she ran. I confess that I took chase, but soon lost sight of her. We'd taken so many twists and turns that it was hard to remember from whence we'd come."

A thick, yet disturbing, silence descended upon us as we became enveloped within our own thoughts. I had done my duty. I had told them all that I had known. Yet I could not shake the sense of urgency that seemed to consume me from the moment that I had come across my beloved Susan.

She would try to run. Of that I was sure. Yet the thought of seeing her siblings was sure to keep her near. At least I prayed that it would be. She might have a hard time believing that I am here, within her world, I thought. But I've a sneaking suspicion that her curiosity, in regards to her siblings, might be sufficient fodder to keep her rooted within the surrounding area for a moment longer. Sooner or later, she was bound to seek us out.

A rough knock upon the door jarred us to our senses. Scrambling into action, Peter strode toward the door and flung it open without a care in the world. His scowl deepened as Lord Drinian took a bow before him.

"Forgive the intrusion, my Lords and Lady," he replied. "May I come in?"

"Of course," said Peter as he returned the bow and opened the door a tad wider.

Pushing myself out of the chair, I offered it to him. "Please. Sit down."

The room crackled with electricity as we waited for him to speak. "Thank you, but no."

"Is something the matter?" inquired Peter.

He frowned. "I'm not sure."

"Well, get on with it, man! Don't keep us waiting!"

"Edmund!" gasped Lucy.

He shrugged, a sheepish look upon his face. "What?"

"Enough!" I ordered gruffly and apologized on Edmund's behalf. "Forgive him. He's not well. What news do you bring us?"

Lord Drinian bowed before me, his cheeks flushed with color. Edmund's brusque manner had clearly unnerved him. "I apologize once more for the intrusion, Sire, but I came as quickly as possible. She's been sighted. Queen Susan is here."

"Where?"

"In the midst of the city, Sire. I gave several of the crew leave to see the sights. Rynelf, and the others . . . they saw her. They called out to her, but she did not heed them. She seemed distraught and fled. They took chase but soon lost her within the crowd gathered within the central square. We tried, Sire, but we failed to apprehend her."

"We must scour the city!" Edmund suggested. "Seek out every nook and cranny. Surely she can't be that hard to find?"

"What purpose would that serve us, I wonder?" said Peter. "It's apparent that she doesn't want to be found."

"We can't stand here and do nothing!"

Peter's eyes narrowed as he glared at his brother. "And how do you propose that we find her? Shall we set fire to every abode till we find where she is lodged?"

"If it will prove to be useful, then yes."

Lucy's soft, yet stern voice, unsettled us all. "That's poppycock! There are far better ways to achieve our goal, you know."

A hint of a smile hovered about Lord Drinian's lips as he gazed upon her. "How so, my Queen?"

"We must wait. We must let her come to us."

"That's rubbish! Our time is short. We cannot wait for long, Lu. Caspian . . ."

She held up a hand, cutting short his retort. "Think about it, Edmund. We are not alone. Aslan has sanctioned this journey. He brought Caspian, his crew, and his beloved Dawn Treader, to us so that he could bring Susan to her senses. Yes, time is of the essence. Yes, we're all aware that Caspian will not remain with us once he completes the task that has been set before him, but Aslan will not forsake us now. He will grant us the time needed to do as we must. I know he will, but we must all have faith in him and in what we are here to do."

"And if we fail?"

She crossed the small space between them and wrapped a hand about his cheek. "We won't. I know we won't."

Releasing a pent-up breath, Peter dropped himself into the chair that I had abandoned moments ago. "I've my own misgivings about all of this, as well. What if Sue disappears again? We'll never be able to bring her home, if that happens."

Clearing his throat, Lord Drinian sought my gaze and said, "Queen Lucy is right. We must give Queen Susan the time that she requires. Aslan will not take us home until we complete the mission he has given us. How long it may take, we do not know. Aslan will not allow us to flounder. I am sure of it."

With that said, he bowed and took his leave. Closing the door behind him, I pondered his words. The fact that I'd found, and lost, Susan had caused us to quarrel amongst ourselves. We'd done so in the past, but never like this. Bitterness and resentment coated our every word, causing us to say things that we did not mean.

"We mustn't come to blows. Our situation is quite precarious. Susan knows we're here and she will surely try to run. Yet we must also do our best to keep her here. How we will succeed in doing so is beyond me, but we must try. Bickering like this will get us nowhere," I murmured lightly, hoping that the others would see reason.

"I'm afraid," said Lucy, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

Wrapping his arms about his sister, Edmund placed a soft kiss upon her brow. "I think we all are, Lu."

"What shall we do now?" asked Peter, his brow furrowed with consternation.

"We wait," I replied. "We must let her come to us."

Sighing with exasperation, Peter pulled himself to his feet and began to pace back and forth. "We shan't wait forever."

"Of course, we shan't," I offered. "She will come, Peter. I am sure of it."

"For your sake, Caspian, I hope so."

"As Lucy said, we must have faith. She will come."

The tension between the four of us dissipated as we gave in to the inevitable. The thought of waiting for Susan to come around was painful to consider. It was harder still not knowing when that might be.

Yet I had faith that Aslan would bring her to us. If she didn't come for the children, she would at least come to see me. Our lives were intertwined, whether she wanted to believe it or not. Somehow, she would come to see that realization just as I had.