A/N Hello! I'm back to finish the story I have been meaning to continue. I am currently re-writing all the previous chapters. This is still the same story although will have some twists and turns.
I'm so sorry for the long update and the long hiatus. Lately, I haven't had the motivation to really continue this story but I forced myself to atleast re-write it. When I re-read my story, I was really mortified that I used to write like that. Huge wake up call. Besides, I missed this pairing due to the lack of their appearances in the manga.
Disclaimer: Do not own Bleach.
Legend: Talking, Thinking
For You, A Thousand Times Over
by The Chrysanthemum
Chapter 1- The Beginning of the End
-Momo Hinamori
Snow.
Soft, white snow always clouded her dreams. The desolate landscape that's always blanketed in the indescribable snow. How the glistening snowflakes melts upon contact with her hand. How it offered her warmth despite its cold nature.
She glanced back at the imprints of her footprints on the icy surface. She felt that no matter how far she walked, she could never reach her destination. The source of this magical land. She took note that ever since she has been here, nothing has ever grown. Except, a few gentle winds that occasionally blew carrying the faint scent of peppermints and fresh pine cones. Which was odd because there was no vegetation within her sight.
Not a tree on sight. Not a mountain. Just a flat, even land covered in never ending snow.
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Rays of sunshine pierced through her purple curtains and spilled onto her room.
Momo sighed as she slowly opened her eyes and found herself staring at the deep lines of her cracked, white ceiling. The same dream haunted her ever since she was a child.
It always, always contained snow.
She pushed herself to on a sitting position as she got out of her bed, not bothering to fix her blankets on the process.
She started the same routine of trudging towards the bathroom, brushing her teeth, washing her face, picking out her clean uniform.. etc. She didn't even bothered looking at the time. The sound of cars' engine below her apartment signified that she had only a few minutes left before going to school. She didn't even bothered to cook breakfast; casting a lazy glance towards the the dirty dishes piled on her sink.
Momo grabbed her small book bag slamming her door as she made her way to Karakura High School. She caught a flash of red fabric in the corners of her eye. She sighed as she already knew who it was.
"Hi Jenny," she said outloud as she continued her walk.
"Hinamori-san!" Jenny replied back.
She bounced at her side matching Momo's even, slow pace. Her two, long ponytails swung back and forth behind her back. Couple of Kararuka students past them, chatting nonchalantly while laughing carelessly.
"Still having regrets?"
"No." Momo answered.
The girls looked back towards her with an obvious sneer painted in their features.
"It's her.." One with the blonde hair whispered.
"Oh!. The one who can talk to ghosts?" The brunette answered.
"Yeah.. Don't go near her." Fear and disgust eminented from her tone of voice.
Their remarks fell into her numb ears.
It was true. Ever since her parents died when she was less than ten years old, she occasionally felt different presences that she could not comprehend.
Sometimes, it happened during the darkest hour of the night.
The undying screams of the undead spirits.
At first, she was frightened. She would run to her Grandmother's side and snuggled with her until the voices died down. Then they started to appear in front of her; the owners of those screams.
Always begging. She could remember one particular spirit. Her black eyes pleading her to release her sorrows as her gray, withered hair floated around her sunken face. Her tattered garments hung on her thin figure. Hinamori was shaken to her core. She shouted to the old woman to go away. To never bother her. However, she could feel her sadness as the woman disappeared blending with the night. She never told her Grandma what had been happening. She didn't want to burden her with her confused predicament. Didn't want to add to the bulk of responsibility that she was already carrying.
Grandma's loss of her daughter and son-in-law. Instead she gain an insecure child as their replacement.
Back then, Momo hated her existence and she still does. Hated that her mother and father were taken away from her. Hated that she was so helpless in times when she was needed. Hated that the only thing she could do was mourn for their deaths. Hated the pitying stares she got when she returned to school. Hated that their stares turned into disgust when the whole student body found out about her certain ability. Hated that she became an outcast.
The hate filled her body by the time she hit sixteen. The only current love she held was for her Grandma.
"You want me to haunt them?"
Jenny's voice brought her back to reality.
A rare smile tugged her lips. "No, Jenny." Although the thoughts of them being center of Jenny's wrath was tempting to say the least.
"You were always to soft on them, Hinamori-san." She stuck out her tongue at the back of the two girls. "If I were you, I would have beaten them into pulps!" She brought her fist into the air, shaking it.
"That would have made them more afraid of me."
Momo heard a sighed escaped from the ghost's lips.
"They would never know! I told you, I have the ablitiy to possess one of them and make a total fool out of their self!" A certain gleam began to surface on Jenny's eyes.
"Besides, it's been a while since I occupied a body."
"No, Jenny. That's wrong." Momo stifled a laugh. The only fun she ever had was keeping the troublesome girl from getting herself in tangled from those pesky death gods she had heard about.
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-Rangiku Matsumoto
It's been sixteen years since she had died. How that bastard suddenly came to life and stabbed her with his very own sword! And that Gin, her beloved, cause a part in her death. Her guilt gradually increased whenever she saw Hinamori's grave mark. She could never forgive herself to this day whenever she came face to face with her captain.
Captain Hitsugaya's shaking shoulder. His knuckes turning white from tightness of his fists. His wide, distorted eyes. The rage he unleashed in Soul Society's boundaries. She felt his powerful reitsu all the way on the other side of the buildings.
She had underestimated the feelings of Hitsugaya for the 5th division vice-captain.
Rangiku shivered. The previous months have been plagued in a never-ending blizzard. Every shiginami wore thick clothings under their black uniforms. They also avoided to anger the captain by finishing their duties before he even asked. Thank god! After the second month of the freezing winter, her captain finally released the spell. She suspected that the Captain-Commander had something to do with it. But after the fifth month of the fourth year after Momo's death, her captain showed sign of improvements.
No longer was the cold, uncontrolled reitsu suffocated her whenever he was around. Gone was the look of his eyes that were clouded with sheer panic and desperation. So was his playfulness and the rest of his functioning emotions. All was that replaced by an unmoving, stoic mask. To begin with, Matsumoto didn't really know how to pull her captain out of his depression. She had basically tried everything. She did her fair share of paperwork, replacing all the sakes she hid around their office with water, and forced herself to get rid of the damned, comfortable couch. All she had done was to be the perfect vice-captain to at least relieve some part of her welling guilt.
She sighed as she scribbled her signature on the bottom of the page on the last piece of the paperwork. She glanced at the empty desk across the room and sighed once more. It was the middle of the afternoon and her captain was no where to be found. Or that he didn't specify where he was heading out to but Matsumoto somehow knew that he was out to visit Hinamori's gravesite once more by indication of the sadness that crossed his features by a mili-second. If she hasn't been paying attention, she could have missed how his white eyebrows bunched up in the middle, the sudden glazed that overcame his turquoise eyes, and the thin line of determination created by his mouth.
At least he didn't try to kill me this time.
...
Flashback to Sixteen Years Ago
Matsumoto flashed stepped to the fourth division.
Are they both okay!? She thought furiously.
After her fight with Kira, she heard only bits and pieces about the incident concerning Captain Aizen from Isane's panic blubbering. Instead of going back to the 10th division, she immediately went to where her captain was. She ignored the sudden flash of light where Rukia's execution must have taken place and the shouts of her fellow shiginamis. Her thoughts only focused on the wellness of her captain.
"I'm sorry vice-captain. You have not been granted access to see Captain Hitsugaya at the moment." commanded a random 4th division medic.
The medic must have seen the desperation in Matsumoto's eyes for he replied in a certain assurance. "Even though he is in a critical condition, due to the amount of his reitsu; he will definately heal in no time."
Rangiku sighed in relief.
But!
"What about vice-capt'n Hinamori?!" she asked fervently.
She could see the discomfort in the medic's eyes.
"Erm.. We are trying to stabalize her heartbeat." He glanced back at the bustling division filled with other death gods who have been also wounded probably by Ichigo's invasion.
Realizing that she have been holding back the medic from helping the multiple patients, she waved her hand to dismiss him.
All she could do now was wait.
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.
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"You may now come in." said the same medic she had encountered.
Matsumoto nodded. After waiting for two hours to let them see her captain, she occupied herself in helping the 4th division by bandaging the less-critical death gods, and kept the traffic moving. Her hands had been shaking as she slid the paper-oriented door open. Relief flooded her body as she saw Captain Hitsugaya sitting upright with an obvious frown on his face.
"Capt'n!" she could not stop herself from rushing to his side thus hugging him to death oblivious on what her breasts were doing.
"Matsumoto! I can't breathe!" he shouted, muffled by her huge boobs.
"Oh! Sorry!" she laughed bringing one of her hand to the back of her head.
"How are you, captain? Are you sure you should be up right now?" Worried evident on her face watching Hitsugaya ripping the I.V fluids out of the junction of his arm near the upside of his elbow.
"I'm perfectly fine." he grunted setting both of his feet on the cold ground.
"Capt'n! Do you want me to call Capt'n Unohana in here!"
"Matsumoto!"
Her back stiffened. She recognized the imminent command and message laced in his voice.
Don't you dare tell anyone.
To prove his point, she felt his growing reitsu creeping up on her back.
"At least let me assist you." she heard no objection when she took one of his arm and placed them on her shoulder; preventing him from shifting his weight on just one of his foot.
"How is she?" he whispered. Eyes casted on the ground.
His sudden question didn't suprised her. She was hoping he wouldn't ask her so sooner.
Should she..? Should she hide the impending truth about Hinamaori's deteriorating health condition? Would she.?
If she told him the truth now, then he would immediately blame himself forcing himself to recover faster than his body could take thus resuming his rigorous training. However, what if..
Not now. Not until she makes sure he could take the news without making rush judgements. Not until Rukia's execution was solved.
She could never forgive herself for what she was about to do.
"She's fine capt'n! Hinamori-chan is recovering faster than you!" The words were spilled before she could take it back.
No, Capt'n. She's taking turn for the worse. Apparently, her wounds were healed but she's not waking up.
Those were the words she should be saying.
He deserved to know! They were childhood friends goddamit! She pushed the voice back from her mind.
She bit her lip from saying anything that she could regret even more.
"That's a relief. For a minute there.." Hitsugaya whispered, the upper corners of his lips turned upward revealing a small smile.
"Yeah. That's why you should rest. You might open your wounds again."
"Hn." He finally sat down, taking his arm back from Matsumoto's shoulder.
But something was tugging on her mind.
Was gin..? Was gin with him?
Matsumoto immediately regretted saying anything. Her body shuddered on how fast the temperature dropped. The hair on the back on her neck stood up. Goosebumps were gradually forming all over her body.
"Aizen." she heard him growled.
She felt his body stiffened. Before he could get up, she beat him to it.
"No. Stay and rest, Captain. The other captains already know of Aizen's betreyal." she said with much defiance she could muster.
Furthermore, the door slid opened revealing the boy medic.
"Your visiting time is over, Vice-captain." he said.
"Leave this to me." she said to Hitsugaya as she stepped out of his room. It's the least I could do.
.
.
.
Rukia's execution has been solved as soon as the Aizen's plot came to light. Ever since that day; Matsumoto's heard had been battling for dominance. Her loyalty to Soul Society or her love for Gin. Furthermore, they lost three captains in one day. Three fucking captains. Worse of all, they were traitors.
But no matter how much she tries to hate Gin, their childhood days always comes to her mind. Clouding her thoughts. Clouding her judgements. Clouding her morals.
However, her love for Gin was a crush, weak, while her captain's love for Hinamori-chan was undying, strong.
Dammit!
It's been ten days after Aizen's betrayel and Hinamori's life was dimming each day. While she was turning for the worse, Hitsugaya has been recovering quickly fast. She didn't know how much she could still hide from him. And the panic that rises up to her chest whenever she asked Captain Unohana about Momo's condition.
I'm sorry, Momo. I was so selfish!
Right now, she was on Hinamori's bedside. Staring at her peaceful face as she slept. Ignoring the various mechanics that were strapped on her arm and the constant beeping of the heart monitor.
"She has been on a coma for a while now. I don't know how much her body could still take it." Unohana's voice came back to haunt her.
"You needed him yet I barred him from seeing you. I was-" she broke her sentence to keep her from sobbing.
"I was so afraid of what he was about to do that-. That he wouldn't believe me if I said it wasn't his fault for not seeing Aizen's true personality." She continued.
"And now.. I." She couldn't take it anymore. Tears pooled trailed down her cheeks at her confession. The guilt wearing her down unbearably.
Please wake up..
Please.
After her confession, her guilt had been relieved slightly. She volunteered on taking the 5th division's enormous paperworks plus maintaing the chain of command in her division. Fortunately, her captain was being dismiss under the care of Unohana's division. She sighed in relief. She couldn't take how much more work she could take. It wasn't her nature to diligently to fill out papers and being cramped inside an office for so long.
"Capt'n!" she shouted as he waltzed inside the room.
"Hn. The paperwork?" he replied with a raise of his eyebrow.
"All filled out!" she said while she waved the last piece of her share into the air for emphasis.
"I'm suprised you actually did your work for once, Matsumoto." he laughed as he sat down.
"Well, I'm out. I'm supposed to have a drink with Kira later on."
She didn't missed the slight temperature change and the way his eyes narrowed at the mention of Kira. Still hasn't forgiven him, right Captain?
.
.
.
Shit!
Matsumoto raced down to the 4th division. Hitsugaya's spiritual enery was getting stronger as she was getting nearer.
Please. Please. Don't let it to be to late.
Apparently, her captain have finally received the news of Hinamori's real predicament. She wondered if it was Captain Unohana that let it slipped even after begging her not too. But she shook her head. Its not the time to point fingers!
She stopped at Momo's room. Her hands was shaking as she forced her fingers to slid the door open. The powerful reitsu radiating from the room surely have been enough to suffocate her but Unohana's reitsu counter-attacked it into submission. She grinded her teeth to keep herself from turning and eventually running away.
The first sight she saw was Hitsugaya's slumped shoulders. Then Unohana's figure at the corner of the room. Her eyes widened when she finally heard the loud, dead beep of the heart machine. The red, flat line.
Flat.
The rise and fall of her friend's chest wasn't there.
NO. No. no.
Her feet stumbled as she came closer. Closer to her Captain's slumbed shoulders. Closer to what her simple lie had created. What it resulted in. As she came closer, she could make out the faint, white glow that emenated from his whole body.
"Cap-." she whispered, her voice cracking.
"Get. Out." His tone meant business.
"Capt'n. I-"
Should she come clean now? Could she?
His spritual enery flared all of a sudden as it Matsumoto fell on her knees by the sheer power of it.
"Captain Hitsugaya." Unohana warned flaring her own spiritual energy on the process.
With that, the whole ceiling had been removed from her shoulders.
"I should go." she felt he's control slipping. Bit by bit.
The need to let his emotion reign his actions for once. With that, Hitsugaya flash stepped out from the room. And Matsumoto let him.
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.
.
Several hours passed by after the death of the 5th division vice-captain. The 5th division had been in complete turmoil as both of their commanders were either dead or disappeared. After Hitsugaya's disappearance, nobody was dispatched to chase after him. Everyone was aware of his certain feelings toward the particular vice-captain. Even the Captain-Commander.
"Give some space." he said.
"But!" Matsumato could only offer a weak defiance.
"Let him mourn on his own way."
What if? What if!
Then the roar of Hyourinamaru filled her ears.
A dragon's roar filled with sorrowness.
End of Flashback
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.
Matsumoto's relationship with her Captain was getting better yet it was a slow progress. Apparently, he didn't want her to see him in such worn out state because it wasn't fit as a Captain. However, she couldn't bring herself to come clean. If she had told the truth to Hitsugaya sooner, he could had the chance to save Hinamori. To bring her out of her coma. But deep inside her heart, she couldn't handle his hate for her if she ever uttered a word. That she knew about her worsening condition yet chose not to disclose the vital information.
She snapped out of her thoughts as Hitsugaya came to the room.
"Mornin' "
"Hn." he replied back setting his tea on his table.
His new personality was something getting used too. Oh, how Matsumoto missed her old captain.
"All the necessary paperworks have all been filled out." she said stacking the papers on the 'Out' box.
"I've been giving a long mission to stay in Karakura Town in the human world for a while." he said, facing Matsumoto with his back.
He continued, "You are to stay here in order until further notice."
"But why? Isn't Ichigo there?" Rangiku asked.
"I don't fully know the details, but after his fight with Aizen.. he doesn't have enough power to patrol the town."
Matsumoto noticed his pause especially at the mention of the traitor.
"All I know is someone or something have been messing with the souls from departing into Soul Society. The 12th division noticed that there were large amount of human souls still trapped in Karakura Town although there were no sightings of hollow attacks."
"Captain-Commander issued me to stay there to investigate thorougly. That's all." he said before she could even ask if he didn't really needed assistance.
"Ok. Be careful, capt'n."
"Hn."
...
A/N PM me if you have any questions so far. Don't forget to RR! :) It's weird to stop right there but the next one would be longer.