To Dance Again

Kirk had never really wanted anything in his life.

Not in terms of life goals or great achievements, anyway. Sure, he'd wanted to get that bastard Frank out of his and his mom's life, and he'd wanted his dad to come back from the dead, and he'd wanted to spend more time with his mom.

As he became more and more aware of the way his father's legacy hung over his head, he'd wanted to step out of his father's shadow. But after a while it had seemed all but impossible, and he'd resigned himself to always being Jim Kirk, son of George Kirk, the great Starfleet hero. Nothing he did, not even becoming a juvenile delinquent with quite the track record, could disconnect him from George the Hero.

And then, in memories that blended together into something as breathtaking as a meteor shower, Jim Kirk, delinquent and drunken bar-fighter, had become Captain Jim Kirk, captain of his own ship and Starfleet hero in his own right.

He sits in his chair and stares out into space, gazing into the abyss and feeling it stare right back at him, challenging him. And it was a challenge he gladly accepted.

He had Bones, and Spock, and Scotty and Sulu and Chekov and even Uhura. He had them, and he had his ship, and its entire crew waiting at his command.

And he wanted to keep it that way for the rest of his life.

The Winner Takes it All

Kirk is afraid all the time.

He's afraid of being alone, of being abandoned and left by the wayside. He's afraid of being haunted by his father's memory all his life. He used to be afraid of Frank, and sometimes he still is.

But nothing, nothing compares to this feeling. Of going it alone with a man who had without a doubt hated him until this point, and in all probability still does. Of staring into the abyss and having it roar back at him, saying I'm waiting for you.

He's only a tiny bit reassured when they find the red matter and the ship that can, and hopefully will, end this mess.

He enters the ship with Spock and takes a deep breath, pushing back panic and settling into the drive of a man fighting for his life.

Spock stops him. Says the plan is, in all likelihood, going to fail.

Kirk doesn't even need to think up an appropriate response. It leaps from his throat. "It'll work." It will. It has to.

He calls out for the transport until the last possible second, until he can feel the edges of insanity creeping up around him.

They win.

He doesn't stop shaking until they dock back at Starfleet.

Girlfriend

Kirk has never had trouble with the ladies.

Now that he'd joined Starfleet and acquired a reputation, he barely even had to try anymore. Women seemed to simply throw themselves at his feet. It was usually pretty damn convenient, but sometimes it could get annoying. Because, believe it or not, pretty thing, he actually does have to study right now, and while he would love a private tour, it's just not a good time and could he please have a rain check? because that tour does sound extremely promising and he would love to get back to you on that.

Bones is less than sympathetic. He just rolls his eyes and says that if Jim really minded, he'd do something about it instead of having sex with every Goddamn one of them and making his reputation even worse.

Jim just grins and tells Bones he's jealous.

Shark in the Water

Kirk has never been afraid of confrontation.

He greets each fight with the tenacity he brings to every challenge. This is true of his bar fights, his fights with Frank, and even his fight with Spock.

He will lie, and cheat, even steal if need be. He is never afraid of the consequences.

He is only afraid of being alone.

Which is why, when he enters Starfleet, he makes a vow to be friendly, at least to the people who are worth it.

Bones is the first relationship he has in Starfleet. Bones is rough and callous and doesn't give a shit about what other people think of him. In fact, he welcomes their distaste. It means they will leave him alone. Jim is drawn to these traits, and tries out his new friendly approach.

Somehow, it works, and a casual hello-goodbye in the hallways evolves into hyposprays for STDs and hangovers, a drinking buddy, and, along the way, a best friend.

Jim isn't sure how it happened, but he does know that he's pretty damn glad that he's found the one bastard who will stick with him even when he's an ass. Who can put up with his bullshit and womanizing and self-destructive habits. Not to mention all the teasing and taunting that comes with being his friend.

Bones is his rock, his moral support, his dad and brother and mother and best friend wrapped into one with a big, sarcasm-dripping bow on top. A delicious hot fudge sundae with bitter dark chocolate shavings that most people would pass up for one with rainbow sprinkles.

Jim finds he likes the taste.

Voldemort is Going Down

When he beams onto Nero's ship, Jim Kirk has no regrets.

…Well, maybe a few. There was that girl he'd never called, that last letter he'd never sent to his mom, those punches he'd never given Frank…

But all in all, Kirk's ducks are in a row. He'd come into Starfleet as a nobody whose only connection was to his own father, a hero of a man whom he could never live up to.

And now? He isn't just living up to his father's legacy, he's making one of his own. And that's more than enough accomplishment for one lifetime, Jim thinks.

He's petrified, scared stiff. No doubt about it. But that doesn't stop him from imagining the look on his mother's face when she would hear the news. The look on Frank's face. The look his father would have if only he were here to wear it.

And he faces Nero with a single thought: you're going down.

Starstruckk

James T. Kirk is a ladies' man.

He picks up willing girls in bars for one night stands. He feels horrible afterwards, but that never stops him from repeating the process.

Even Starfleet can't change the bad habit. No matter how many times he's reprimanded, punished or finds himself hung over with a black eye, he can't seem to stop himself from wandering right back into the bars and picking up girl after girl.

Then, slowly, he starts drinking with Bones instead of by himself, and the girls are far and few in between.

The dry spell doesn't last long, however. Because then he finds himself having quickies in closets and, if he's being honest, quite a few other places that he probably shouldn't have been.

And then Nero happens, and Jim is thrown headfirst into a captain's chair and with the immense terror and fear of disappointing everyone comes a strange sense of contentment. When he sits in the chair, surrounded by his crewmates, he has absolutely no desire to go bar-hopping for easy women. In fact, he can't imagine doing so every again.

…Well, maybe once or twice, for old time's sake.