me: okay this is diffreent from my normal brand of bad puns and cute oximorions
naruto: true this one mad me cry
me: yo guess what
emmett: what?
me: this girl got caught having sex in the school hallway XD
sasuke: damn wait how cute was she
me: she was " u wanna go out" cute not "hey lets fuck in the band hallway" cute but away from the happy this is an extremly sad serious story damnit
emmett: as serious as getting plowed in a hallway?
me:~ XD ~ faints from laughter~
iruka: she does own twilight or the song kim by eminem
naruto: yah she did something really awesome with the lyrics
"Aww look at daddy's baby girl" Edward crooned looking at nessie asleep in her bed. "That's daddy baby, little sleepy head," he crooned almost singing, "Yesterday I changed your diaper, wiped you and powdered you. How did you get so big? Can't believe it, now your two. Baby you're so precious, daddy's so proud of you." Bella sniffles in the chair she's sitting in Edward spins around
"Sit down bitch If you move again I'll beat the shit out of you" Edward yells all the love and tenderness gone from his voice.
"OKAY!" bella screams in a shrill voice horse and cracked from crying.
"Don't make me wake this baby! She don't need to see what I'm about to do" Edward yelled at her "Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you? How could you? Just leave me and love him out the blue" he screamed at her bella started to cry, "Oh, what's a matter love? Am I too loud for you?!" he screamed into her face causing bella to scream and scramble back "Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time
At first, I'm like all right you wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?" he kicked the couch "This couch, this TV, THIS WHOLE HOUSE IS MINE!" he screamed pushing the TV off the stand. "How could you let him sleep in our bed? Look at bell Look at your husband now!" he yelled
"No!" bella screamed
"I said look at him!" he demanded an then kicked Jacobs lifeless body "He ain't so hot now is he? Little punk!" he sneered
"Why are you doing this?" bella asked in tears
"Shut the fuck up!" he yelled
"You're drunk! You're never going to get away at this!" she said
"You think I give a fuck!" he asked, "Come on we're going for a ride bitch"
" NO!" bella screamed
"Sit up front"
"Well I can't just leave nessie alone, what if she wakes up?"
"We'll be right back Well I will you'll be in the trunk." Edward pulled bella out the door by her hair to his silver Volvo. He pulled her into the front while he walked over to the drivers seat.
"You really fucked me bell, you really did a number on me. Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me. But we was kids then bell, I was only 18
That was years ago I thought we wiped the slate clean!" he said
"That's fucked up!" he yelled hitting the steering wheel
"I love you!" bella said
"Oh God my brain is racing" he said pulling one hand to his head
"I love you!" bella tried again
"What are you doing? Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?" he asked fury making his eyes darken
"NO!" bella screamed
"There's a four year little old boy lying' dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha" he said in a cruel mock laugh
"What you think I'm kidding' you?" he paused "You loved him didn't you?"
"NO!" bella yelled
"Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me" a truck honked the horn as he passed the driver flipped them off
"What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me? Fuck you asshole, yeah bite me" he paused for a moment trying to think
"Bell BELL Why don't you like me? You think I'm ugly don't you"
"It's not that!" bella insisted
"No you think I'm ugly," he said shaking his head
"Baby" bella tried reaching a hand toward him
"Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me," he said
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU how the fuck could you do this to me?"
"Sorry" bella tried
"How the fuck could you do this to me?" he asked all conversation stopped he drove for about fifteen minutes before turning onto a empty beach
"Come on get out" he said sounding relatively calm with the current situation
"I can't I'm scared" bella told him
"I said get out bitch!" he said more loudly grabbing her hair and pulling her out of the car.
"Let go of my hair, please don't do this baby Please I love you, look we can just take nessie and leave" she pleaded
"Fuck you, you did this to us. You did it; it's your fault
Oh my God I'm cracking' up Get a grip Edward" he said the last bit to himself
"Hey remember the time we went to Brian's party? And you were like so drunk that you threw up all over Archie" he said chuckling to himself sounding a bit crazy
"That was funny wasn't it?" he asked her
"Yes" bella said extremely scared now
"That was funny wasn't it?" he asked more aggressively
"Yes!" she rasped louder her throat sore from crying
"See it all makes sense, doesn't it?" he asked her bella looked up confused
"You and your husband have a fight one of you tries to grab a knife and during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adam's apple sliced," he said simply
"No!" she cried
"And while this is goin' on His son just woke up and he just walks in She panics and he gets his throat cut" he explains to her
"Oh my God" she cries quietly
"So now they both dead and you slash your own throat So now it's double homicide and suicide with no note" he says with the edge of a smile in his voice "I should have known better when you started to act weird We could've...HEY!" Edward yells when bella started to run "Where you going? Get back here! You can't run from me Kim It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself" each word brought him a step closer to bella who was screaming through her tears for help but she tripped in her blind stumbling and Edward caught her
"Ha! Ha! Got'cha!" he taunted bella screamed again louder this time "Ha! Go ahead yell! Here I'll scream with you!" he said having fun with his sick little game "AH SOMEBODY HELP!" he screamed
"Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you? Now shut the fuck up and get what's coming to you" he said as he raped his hands around her throat "You were supposed to love me!" he yelled over the sound of bella gasping for air "NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED!" he screamed clamping his hands down tighter
"BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!" bella stopped gasping for air then Edward took her body put some rocks in her pants and threw her in the ocean he walked to his car to go home and get rid of the two other bodies "So long" he sang to himself "bitch you did me so wrong I don't wanna go on Living in this world without you"
me: ~tear drop~ isint that sad
bella: bitch u killed me
me: bitch you married jake
bella: touche
jake: HEY
me an bella: lmao
emmett: lexie whats ur problem u just got intoan argument with some chicks mom
me: i kno dont worry readers thats a nother story for another time its fucking hilatious when u look back on everything review please
emmett: review for money for the wall she was fucking on to go to thearpy
me: XD ~ falls to the floor in laughter~