DISCLAIMER: As much as I'd want to, I don't own Professor Layton. (cries)

I just bought Professor Layton and the Curious Village a few days ago and I was surprised at how addicting this game is. Layton is my hero!

This fic is courtesy of a rather odd conversation I had with my sister. Be warned, crack ahead!

The package sat on the table. The box was covered in bright colours, its text announcing its contents proudly. It was of the sort found in supermarkets all over the world. Luke couldn't see what was wrong with it. It looked innocent enough, no different from the boxes of sweets that he got for himself from time to time, whenever he had the money for it. He reached a hand for the box, so that he could have a closer look.

"Don't touch it!"

Luke started, nearly falling out of his chair. He adjusted his hat, staring wide-eyed at Layton. The professor dangled the box from two fingers as if it were dangerous, glaring venomously at it. Luke had never seen Layton so livid; not when he had to deal with irritating townspeople who had nothing better to do with their time than to drop random puzzles on complete strangers, not when people compared him to a crayon. It had been Luke who had bristled at the comments, outraged that anyone would dare treat the professor in such a manner.

The professor dropped the package back onto the table. He eyed his hand, grimacing. Luke inspected the box, wondering what on earth could have put the professor in such a state. Garish letters wrote: 'Instant Iced Tea'. The boy frowned. Instant tea? What was that? He had never heard of such a thing. Oh, he knew very well what tea was, since the professor was quite fond of it (he hadn't developed a taste for it just yet—but he was working on it! A true English gentleman knew how to appreciate tea and he would be a gentleman one day, after all). What was instant tea, though? Was it some bizarre tea leaf that didn't take as long to seep?

"Professor, what is this 'instant tea'?" Luke inquired curiously, hesitantly poking the package. "I've never seen anything like this before."

"That is the personification of evil, Luke," Layton declared, snatching the offending object decisively and marched over to a rubbish bin, dropping it in. "It is a powdered blend of artificial sweeteners, gaudy colours and..." He paused to take a breath, bracing himself. "Synthetic tea."

Luke blinked, confused. "I didn't know that you could make artificial tea, professor. I thought you got tea by boiling tree leaves."

"And so it should be, my boy!" Layton grabbed Luke's narrow shoulders, shaking him. "They make that mockery of a long-respected and enjoyable beverage! They dare call that atrocity tea and market it to unknowing North Americans as if it were the real thing! It has spread all over the known world, corrupting the taste buds of the world's youth!"

"Professor, please calm down!" Luke cried, having had quite enough of having his brain being forcefully sloshed about his skull.

"Yes, forgive me, my boy." Layton stopped shaking his apprentice, breathing deeply through his nose. His jaw worked, muscles twitching; his left eye had also developed a twitch. "I just—I cannot understand how anyone could drink that stuff! It is a travesty of epic proportions! It is a mystery that plagues my thoughts day and night!"

"Then...what should we do, professor?" Luke asked, wondering if he would regret opening his mouth.

A disturbing gleam appeared in Layton's eyes. "We shall solve that mystery! Oh yes, and when we have discovered the key of their marketing success, we shall put an end to that sham!" He grabbed hold of Luke's hand, dragging him off down the street.

"Wait! Professor!" Luke stumbled along, trying to keep up with Layton's pace. It appeared that opening his big mouth had been a stupid idea, after all. Oh well, so long as there were no ferris wheels involved, he was going to be alright. He hoped.

"Come, my boy! To the cannon!"

...Never mind, scratch that. He was doomed.

Never get in between a Brit and his tea. That also holds true for North Americans and their coffee.

So, review? Please?