Relaxation

Summary: Finland decides everyone needs a break and plans a skiing trip for the nations. When a storm hits and the countries are stranded in sub-zero temperature, only one thing can happen – Sexual Tension. And lots of it.
Pairings: FrUk, PruAus, PolHun, Baltic3, RusAmer, CanBel, FinSu, SwitzLi, Spamano, GiriPan, ChiKor, DenNor, HollGium, MonKraine, VietLand, TurkGypt, SeaLand

ONE

Shiny, very warm, just perfect temperature for some winter sports, such as skiing. Now if England only didn't have to share this fine afternoon with some other idiotic nations.

"Hey hey Iggy hey Iggy!" America exclaimed as he curved with his skis right next to his... brother. Let's say England is America's brother. It's easier that way.

"It's awesome isn't it!" The blond yelled as he lifted his sun-proof skiing glasses to his forehead. America blinked a little at the sudden attack of the sun, taking a look around. Seriously, whoever invented contact lenses was a genius; they were so easy to use when he had to look cool like for example now.

"Yes it is very great, Alfred." Their bosses had made it a point for them to call each others by their human names when they had their little skiing trip in Finland who so generously had offered to let them have a free cottage over at the one of his skiing resorts. This also worried England – almost everyone staying in one house for God knows how long. And the weather in Europe wasn't known for exactly being so predictable.

This could only lead to a disaster. And England could already feel a migraine coming to him.

That was when Russia decided to stride past them, glancing at America contemptuously. America muttered something along lines "oh you're on, bastard", put his skiing glasses back on and went after the larger nation, rather heroically may I add. Now England only hoped that they wouldn't start another Cold war... He'd rather not be blown up by the large amounts of nuclear warfare both idiotic nations possess.

"Why looking so grumpy, Arthur? Not that you aren't usually." A honey-laced voice purred just next to him. England flinched – he hadn't even noticed France coming near him! He was probably just getting old... not that he would ever admit it. Never.

"Got a stick up your ass? Or maybe you want one – "

France never got to finish that amazing line as England had already placed his own skiing glasses to cover his emerald eyes and speed down the hill; a large amount of snow nearly hitting France in his beautiful face as the former Empire made his hasty escape. The southern European nation only sighed, spotting some ladies having a break and admiring the view at the corner of the hill. His skis seemed to have a mind of their own as France suddenly found himself praising the color of one woman's hair.

Meanwhile, Russia and America had already finished their little race at the bottom of the one of many snow hills and now they were arguing about who had won.

Canada simply observed the two calmly as he poured some maple syrup into his hot cocoa. At first he didn't notice the looming presence before him until he turned to grab one of his cute mittens that had fallen from the bench. Only when his hand brushed another person's leg did he fully turn around and that resulted into him giving a very manly shriek.

"Oh mon Dieu, Belarus," Canada breathed as his hand was over his racing heart. "You almost gave me a heart-attack there."

"Look at him," Belarus hissed, completely ignoring the quiet man's just as quiet remark as she stared at the threat of a second Cold war unfolding before them. "How dare he treat my brother like this, I won't forgive him, won't forgive, won't forgive..."

Canada inched away from the mentally challenged woman. Her obsession with Russia couldn't be healthy, because come on, who would obsess with Russia of all the people? Belarus couldn't be sane. And in Canada's mind insane equaled stay the hell away from.

"Hey Belarus... shouldn't you just, er, well, let your brother do whatever he wants to?" Canada asked and flinched away immediately when Belarus's head snapped down to gaze at him instead of the two arguing nations just a little away. Now they seemed to be having a fiery argument about if America had really been there 0.00123 milliseconds before Russia.

"It's none of your business," Belarus just snorted and walked away, leaving Canada staring after her, feeling half relieved, half intrigued.

"I won damn it!"

"Нет, I was the one who won."

"In your dreams, Red. I won."

"Stupid face."

"What? D-D-Did you just call me stupid face?"

"Fitting for someone of your standards, дa?"

"You're the stupid face!"

"Нет you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"Fat ass."

"I'm big-boned! And like you're one to talk, дa?"

"S-s-shut up! I'm just a little overweight right now!" America's face was doing a perfect imitation of one of Romano's tomato right now. It really put the communistic color of red to shame...

Russia pointed a gloved hand at America; giggling softly. "Дa! Your face is red!"

"Because it's cold!"

Russia giggled again; his chin dipping into the softness of his scarf in attempts to soften his giggles. "But you're embarrassed, дa?"

At the top of one of the more expert hills, Finland smiled down at the little specs that were his fellow nations. Oh this trip was such a wonderful idea! All his friends were here and it was so close to Christmas. This year had been so hard for him and all his friends with the all the bomb threats that England's old colony America had been receiving lately, the bombings in his neighbor Russia's current capital of Moscow, the thick cloud of ash from one of Iceland's volcanoes settling over all of western and eastern Europe, and Japan's cars having to be called back because of manufacturing problems. He was really hopeful that this year's batch of presents would be the best ones yet.

"U' a'r'ight' w'fe?" Sweden's somewhat gruff voice brought Finland out of his own reverie. Oh why did Sweden insist on calling him his wife – and especially in front of people? Well, there wasn't anyone around right now because many of the nations had yet to arrive here at the resort, but still. Just because he cooked and took care of the house they shared did not, did not, mean that he was Sweden's wife. Not at all.

"I'm not your wife!" He exclaimed; his cheeks tinging a light pink after the words left his mouth. Sweden only put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

Finland sighed in annoyance, but there was still a smile on his bright face. "Come on, let's go check us all in."

Thinking back on it, it was a wonder how Finland got several nations to attend a ski trip in Finland in the middle of winter. Perhaps it was because several nations were exhausted, bored and probably too tired to exert enough energy to say no to the winter nation who could put a five year old to shame with his winning smile and bright eyes. This coupled with the fact that for two weeks they would get to act as normal, mortal humans instead of the inhuman, immortal countries they acted as for the other fifty weeks of the year. Their bosses had immediately agreed with the Winter nation's wonderful idea – this would give them not only two weeks free of the nation that represented the country they ran, but it also gave the countries a chance to improve relationships with others.

It had been a semi-normal week as always. Nothing had been accomplished like always and the heater system in the building where the Nations held their weekly meetings had snapped a belt and broke; leaving the building heatless and bitch-ass cold. For nations such as Russia and Iceland, the cold was fine, but for nations such as America and Japan, it was not.

Someone who shall remain nameless decided that they should build a super robot to pull the sun closer to Earth, but England, being the pessimistic person he always, immediately vetoed that idea and France just being France had disagreed with the both of them just for the sake of disagreeing. This then ensued another a fight between England and France (a lover's quarrel, some stupidly assumed) while the third party who shall remain nameless laughed at the predicament between the two European nations.

China, the four-thousand year old man he was, had long ago stopped trying to entice the two former empires to cease their quarrels with his wonderful cooking, but the good of the younger nations he still attempted to stop them once in a while. God knows that he would contemplate suicide if the younger nations decided to form habits like the older nations. But as fate had it, South Korea – the more wild one of the Korea's – had literally jumped across the table and had outlandishly groped China in public.

And the former kingdom of Prussia, Gilbert had decided that no rape would occur without him being present. It was a wonder why the former nation was even there, and China really had to wonder why Prussia had started to grope him as well. Fuck his life, why did all his siblings turn out weird?

After Prussia had latched onto China, Austria and North Korea decided to pull off their respective idiots, but instead of pulling them off; they had only been pulled on top of China; effectively squishing the Chinese nation. The chair underneath China had then begun to groan with the combined weight of all four nations and the back legs snapped; sending the countries falling backwards.

Things only seemed to go bad to worse because Romano decided to start name calling Germany out of no where and attempt to throw a Red Devil grenade at the German to which Spain attempted to stop him, but only got hit repeatedly in the face by Romano's flailing limbs in the process. Feliciano only started to cry at the amount of anger Romano was exerting and this only made Romano even more pissed because he believed Ludwig to be the cause of it all. Germany attempted to calm down the Northern Italian down, but failed in doing so because Romano stopped in hitting Spain and begun hitting Germany because he was 'touching his fratello'.

It seemed like Russia and America had decided to restart the Cold War. The two nations were quarreling over something. Apparently, Russia had made the mistake of sitting on Canada again and now America was defending the existence of his younger brother.

The bosses – who had been invited to the meeting – were unable to do anything in fear that they would only make things worse. A war was not needed right now.

The chaos, the destruction, the blatant rape, groping and fighting was all ended by Finland's one sentence.

"We should go on a vacation!"

The expressions on the other's faces were priceless. England and France who had been minutes from strangling each other could only stare at their northern neighbor. Russia's face was a perfect Kodak moment – he looked like a five year old who had just been informed that someone had stolen his cookie his grandma made him. Prussia was wondering if Finland was suicidal and Belarus was too busy thinking of beaches to marry her brother on to care for anything else.

"That sounds wonderful!" America's boss agreed.

"Yes, I agree." Japan's boss answered.

"It vill give them a break." The solemn voice of Russia's boss spoke.

"We could all could use a break." That was England's boss.

"It's decided!" France's boss exclaimed. "The countries will be ordered to go on break for two weeks. No exceptions."

The exchange had happened faster than the poor countries could comprehend. They had been fighting amongst each other and one measly six worded sentence from the Nordic had silenced them all. Oh crap. The news hit them like a tidal wave.

They were going on a vacation.

With each other.

For two weeks.

Fuck.

Austria was sitting on his bed, wondering why he was even here; away from his lovely handcrafted piano. He had been rather...bored as of late though. Prussia hadn't been bothering him much lately – even if they did live in the same house – he did not see much of the former nation. But not like it upset him or anything. He just got lonely. Hungary had been spending time with Poland; fangirling amongst over things that he'd rather not think about.

The aristocrat had been so busy pining over his loneliness that he did not see a pale hand crawl out from underneath the full mattress he sat on and grabbed his ankle. He gasped as he was pulled downward; his prestine almost smacking off of the ground in his fall. He was flipped over and he could feel something crawl on top of him.

"Kesesese, think you could get away from me?"

All the way across the resort, Japan was sitting on a couch with a sleeping Greece right next to him; a brown cat hanging off of his shirt. The Greek was not dressed for cold weather as it seemed; Japan could only shake his head.

China was currently dragging Thailand, Vietnam and South Korea across the resort floors while Holland and Belgium fought over something very stupid again. Iceland was chatting up a rather cold Sealand, who obviously wasn't used to the freezing weather. Romano was facing away from Spain and was blushing heavily. Norway was silently wondering how Denmark's hat could stay perched on his head like that and not fall off. Turkey was glaring at Greece from afar while Egypt only shook his head. Poland and Hungary were watching something and giggling like school girls on Hungary's portable DVD player and the Baltics were sitting on a couch talking amongst each other.

After Finland had checked them all in, he made Sweden gather all the nations who were enjoying themselves outside and had them sit in the lounge area. When the nations had gathered he smiled; holding up his hands, where an assortment of keys hung on his gloved fingers.

"Hei everybody!" Finland said. "We'll be having to share rooms and our bosses already assigned us roommates." Finland flashed another winning smile. "Norwaaaay, you're roomed with Denmark~"

"Huzzah." Norway deadpanned.

"Hey, who peed in your Cheerios?" America asked from the couch. Norway just shot him a withering glare.

"Don't be so vulgar!" England scolded of his former colony. Said former-colony just rolled his eyes and settled back into the couch he was sitting on. Russia was sitting right next to him; his gloved fingers playing with the frayed ends of his scarf.

"OhAngleterre, would you loosen up? My fabulous self could always always help loosen you up–" France attempted to pull the Teenager-at-the-Movies move by slyly wrapping his arm around England's shoulder, but the English country got up and moved in favor to a seat next to Japan.

"Let's see~ Austria and Prussia~ Russia and America~ Canada and Belarus~ Spain and Romano~ Germany and Italy~ France and England~ Iceland and Sealand and Greece and Japan~"

Several people groaned and there was a screech from Belarus to where she had to be held back by Russia.

Something was totally going to go wrong.

Totally and utterly wrong.

Note:

This is TheEvilMuffinToaster and Jay EL 24.8 bringing you the awesomeness of this story. Sure, we are supposed to be updating our own seperate fics here, but hell, we're breaking down walls here with our stories damnit. I mean. The amount of crack pairings in here is superlicious, if not supercreepy.

Farewell and leave a review on the way out~