This is a little something for me to get over writer's block. I've done some blooper fanfics, but they never made it to this site, so...I decided to give it a try for real.
This has bloopers, deleted scenes, and alternate scenes from both Goofy movies. I do not own the Goofy movies. They belong to Disney.
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We encounter a grassy field under a bright blue sky. An eerie voice calls out "Maaaaax..."
Max poops up on screen and accidentally hits the camera.
"Ow! Geez!" Everyone burst out laughing, while Max clutches his nose and glares at everyone. "Oh, ha-ha. Was that really necessary?"
"Yes." The director smirked. He sobered up. "Okay, let's try this again..."
XX
Max and Roxanne lay on the grass laughing and enjoying each other. They prop on their elbows and smile at each other. Roxanne leans towards Max, then gasps as she sees Max growing facial hair.
"What's wrong?" Max asked, concerned. Then he realized...HE'S TUIRNING INTO A WEREWOLF! "AAAAAAAH! NOOOO-AOOOOO!"
Thriller by Micheal Jackson starts playing. Max and Roxanne stare at the director weirdly, shrug, and start dancing to the music.
The director just laughed. "Okay, you've had your fun. Cut!"
(Take 2)
Roxanne gasps as she sees Max turn into Kovu from The Lion King 2 Simba's Pride. Roxanne screams, and Max lets out a mighty roar.
The cameraman raises an eyebrow at the director, who chuckled, embarrassed.
"Sorry. My daughter was watching The Lion King 2 earlier, so...yeah. I couldn't resist..."
(Take 3)
Roxanne gasps as she sees Max grow black fur over his face.
"What's wrong?" Max asked concerned. He gasped as he realized he now has black fur all over. His nose shrinks, he grows whiskers, and his whole body shrinks as he turned into a black cat. He meowed.
"Awwww!" Roxanne gushed. "You look so cute!"
Max just glared at Roxanne, then turned to the director. "Who'd you turn me into this time?!"
"Binx from Hocus Pocus." The director admitted.
Max's left eye began to twitch. "And why, pray tell, did you turn me into these animals?" He asked calmly.
"I...uh...well..." The director started sweating. "Your voice actor, Jason Marsden voiced all of you- Binx, Kovu, Max...I just thought it'd be funny."
"Okay." Max nodded. "Now...if you don't mind, I'd like to be turned back into Max, please."
"All right, all right, sorry..."
XXX
Max wakes up from his nightmare and checks to make sure he's still him. He sighs in relief, and his phone rings. He jumps slightly, fumbles with the receiver, and falls out of his bed taking the phone with him.
"...I'm okay."
XX
"Max! Where the heck are you, man?" PJ demanded over the phone.
Max sat up on his bed. "PJ?"
"You were supposed to be here an hour ago!"
"What are you-" Looks at clock which read "5:23".
"CUT!" The director yelled.
"What?" Max asked
"What does the clock say?"
"5:23."
"Ok, who set that clock?! It's supposed to read 4:02! NOT 5:23!" The director shook his fists.
"What does it matter as long as I notice I'm running late?" Max asked, again.
"Can it, pipsqueak! I don't pay you to annoy the hell out of me!" The director snapped.
"YOUR MOM PAYS ME TO SLEEP WITH HER!" Max retorted.
"OOOOHHHHHH!" The crew chorused.
The director glared daggers at Max and pushed his sleeves up. "Oh, that does it..." He lunged for Max, but the cameraman held him back. "Let me at him! Let me at him!"
XX
'Just think of all the time I've been losing-'
As Max jumped down from the fire hydrant, he accidentally landed on a bird. He jumped off and landed on another bird. The flock of birds get mad and proceeds to peck Max angrily.
"AAAH! GET 'EM OFF ME! GET 'EM OFF ME!"
The director laughed hysterically. "Karma's a bitch, ain't it, Max?"
XX
As Max walks down the hall, a redhead with a ponytail got pinched on the butt from behind.
"OH MY GOD! SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN A DISNEY MOVIE????!!!!"
"Who is that?" The cameraman asked.
"The Disney Censorship Team." The director replied. "I am in such major trouble..."
XX
"Look, Max, if my dad sees me with his camera, he'll kill me!" PJ said, pulling his camera out of his locker. "Are you sure you gotta do this?"
"It's my only chance, Peej." Max replied. "To Roxanne, I'm...I'm just a nobody..."
Sora from Kingdom Hearts appears out of nowhere. "NOBODIES?!" He brandishes his keyblade. "WHERE?!"
Max and PJ stared. "Wrong show, dude."
XXX
Max continues walking down a hallway. Eric Matthews from Boy Meets World pops out of nowhere. "Whoa!" Max exclaimed.
"Jason?! Holy crap! It's you!" Eric hugged Max tightly.
"What the hell?!" Max pushed Eric off. Eric continued.
"I wondered where you disappeared to! I haven't seen you forever!" Eric exclaimed.
"Dude, what are you talking about?" Max asked, slightly irritated. "My name isn't Jason. It's Max!"
"....Ohhhh...sorry." Eric runs off.
Max sighed and rubs his forehead. "The things I do for money..."
XX
"As your student body president, I just wanna say like 'yay' to all of us for a really neat year." Stacy told her audience.
"Yo, Stacy! Your rack is friggin' awesome!" A nerd shouted.
Stacy glared at the nerd and shot him with a tranquilizer dart.
XX
Max peeps through the curtains of the auditorium and looks on in horror as he sees some guy talking to Roxanne.
"...Hey, doesn't Max look like Mickey Mouse?" The cameraman asked.
Mickey hears this and gasps. "MINNIE! HOW COULD YOU!?" He runs off crying.
"Mickey, wait!" Minnie shouted desperately. "I CAN EXPLAIN!"
"...Ahyuck! That was random." Goofy commented.
"GOOFY! I WILL KILL YOU AND YOU WILL STAY DEAD THIS TIME!" Mickey screamed angrily, brandishing a bazooka.
Goofy's eyes widened in horror, and he sprinted off with Mickey in hot pursuit. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S THE AUTHORS"!"
XX
"I don't know why I let you guys talk me into this." PJ complained. "If my dad finds out, he's gonna nuke my entire existence." He struggles with a cord and tripped onstage, throwing the camera off the stage.
"Cut!"
XX
"How about science slumber parties?" Mazur suggested, smiling. Nothing happens. He repeats his lines and still nothing happens. "Okay, what the hell?!"
"Max! What are you doing? Your cue's up!" The director yelled.
"Okay, I'll bet three hundred red and put in 50 blue." Max told PJ and Bobby.
"MAX!" The director shrieked.
Max looks at the director. "Oh! Sorry! Was that my cue?"
The director slapped his forehead.
XX
'To stand out
Above the crowd
Even if I gotta shout out loud
Til mine is the only face you'll see
Gonna stand out..."
Max swings on the rope he's hooked on towards Roxanne and falls to the ground. "I'm okay."
XX
'Gonna stand out..."
the music stops playing, and Max hurls towards Mazur. The rope breaks, and Max tackles Mazur to the ground.
"Okay, that sucked..."
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Well, what do you think? No flames, please!