Mistress

Prologue: What have you done now? [Within Temptation]

Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
than to harm the one I love

The day was beautiful. A gentle breeze tossed her pale blonde hair about her face. Soft strands slid across her skin. Nova smiled a child's smile. Today was a good day.

The young girl skipped stones across a small silvery river. Her family's chateau towered behind her, a place of safety and comfort. There was nothing to fear on Adarlon. No reason for her to know pain or uncertainty. She lived with her father and many servants on the extraordinary mountainous world. Adarlon was a world of games and fun, a place where people came to enjoy themselves.

Today her father, Xavier, was expecting a very important visitor. Being only ten years old and merely a child at heart Nova had no reason to remember who he was nor why he was coming. Nova lived among the tall lush grass, chasing butterflies across the lawn.

"Come my little Butterfly," Xavier called, "He is here."

Today was a good day.

What have you done now?

Nova did not like her father's guest. He was a terrifying old man draped in a black robe. His face was deformed and he was always accompanied by a guard in red. Nova felt that he needed no guard, the man was powerful beyond normal means. Xavier had introduced him as The Emperor. Nova knew nothing of life beyond Adarlon. But she understood what 'emperor' meant and had curtsied low in her flowery white dress. He had smiled at her, a smile that scared her. He had taken her small soft hand in his and touched his lips to it. He'd called her a lady. She'd shrunk from him in disgust but smiled at his flattery. He scared and intrigued her.

She was in the family garden now, having captured a small butterfly with beautiful blue wings that matched her eyes. The Emperor sat on the porch, she could not see his eyes beneath his cloak but sensed him watching her. He had spoken few words to her but had commanded in a voice that allowed no disobedience: "Play."

"Go on my butterfly," Xavier had said.

So she had played, spun in carefree circles and fallen upon the grass to stare at clouds. Opening her hands she set the butterfly free and glanced back at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Come here girl." He smiled at her in his scary way as she approached. Despite the warmth she shivered.

"Turn around," he commanded, "Sit."

She tried not to pull away as his fingers ran through her hair. She had always prided herself on its softness but now wished it coarse and untouchable. Kneeling at his feet she squirmed silently wishing herself free of him. She could feel him smile at her as he gently braided her hair. His tenderness disgusted her. She sensed it was false.

"You are a beautiful child." His praise embarrassed her. Finishing with the braid he draped it over her shoulder. "Turn."

She did and he smiled at her again, she blushed and looked down, lush eyelashes guarding her from his stare. Bony pallid fingers reached up and touched her smooth porcelain skin. She stepped back. The smile dropped from his face and his eyes glowed darkly. She gulped in fear wanting to run but standing there uncertainly.

"In time," he told her cryptically, standing and leaving her in a billow of his dark cloak. Nova fell to her knees and shook in fear.

It was late at night hidden in her room, curled in her blankets and shaking, that she heard them fighting. His voice never raised but she knew he was the one Xavier was yelling at.

"You can't take her! She is my child, my butterfly, my light! I won't let you! I-" A bloodcurdling scream filled the air and was cut off suddenly. Nova sobbed into her pillow. She heard her door open, felt him walk into her room. She shook as he touched her and leaned close. She could almost feel his smile in the darkness.

"You belong to me now my little butterfly."

I know I'd better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I won't show mercy on you now

It had been three years since she had smiled. It was her thirteenth birthday and he was coming to see her. She stood awaiting his arrival, her hair pulled over her shoulder in a single braid. Butterfly pins adorned her hair; a tiara of exotic flowers surrounding her head. Eyes of deep blue stared coldly out at the dark sky. A spidery veil fell across her face; she was a child of ice dressed in sparkling whites and silver. Her skin was deathly pale having not walked in sunlight for so long.

He was not her husband and she was not the Empress. He was far too vain to allow her to be seen as his equal. She was known as Mistress. That was her only alias now, and she was feared almost as much as the Emperor himself. Nova watched as his ship landed. Watched as his red guards descended and lined up. Lowering her eyes to the ground Nova curtsied low and felt his gaze upon her. She glanced at him from beneath her long eyelashes and did her best to keep her face deadpan.

"Hello my butterfly," he smiled, that unnerving smile. She stood and allowed him to kiss her hand, his touch made her skin crawl. His smile widened. She watched him look her over, take in the changes of her body.

"I have something very special planned for you tonight little butterfly." Nova's jaw tightened, she knew what he meant. The last time she had seen him he'd told her that at their next meeting it would be time for her to become a woman. She was not so naive to not realize that he meant to take her virginity that night.

He had touched her before, made her touch him. She wasn't unfamiliar with his orgasm on her skin, on her face, in her mouth. But this time would be different. This time he would be inside of her. Inside her in such an intimate close way. She had heard stories of women who saved themselves for the one they loved. She would never be able to do that. Nova spent the afternoon praying to every deity she'd ever heard of that night would not come. All too quickly the hours flew past and Nova found herself alone in her room waiting for the Emperor's arrival. Sitting on the bed Nova shivered. She wore a long white nightgown and nothing else. Stilling she watched as the door opened and he walked into her room his cold eyes falling on her.

"Strip." She did as he wanted everything he wanted. And he took away the last part of her.

I know, should stop believing
I know, there's no retrieving
It's over now, what have you done?
What have you done now?

Nova lay in bed with tears in her eyes. She had remained complacent and cold throughout their 'love-making'. Now she could not even release her much needed pain. No matter how much she tried to block her memories or pretend it didn't happen his dead weight pressing down on her body as he slept would not let her forget. The numbness between her legs. Her own orgasm that she had tried to hide from him. His knowing smile at her body's betrayal.

A pale tear slid down her cheek.

What had she done?

I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away... oh
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us, between me and you

He was angry with her. She knew. He loved her again that morning and she refused to respond. She remained cold and distant from his caresses. Her eyes dead and lifeless. And he was enraged. He had beaten her. It was not the first time, but this was the first it had been out of anger. Before he would hit her, carve her skin, harm her out of his sick pleasure. Now he did it because he was angry with her.

Nova was a symbol of beauty and ice. She would not let him have her. He could take her body, use her for his pleasure, but he could not take her mind, could not reach her soul. And that infuriated him more than anything else. When he had first seen her she had evoked his lust like no one ever had. And now he could not have her. Not like he wanted. Not like he had fantasized.

But Nova knew. His displeasure with her. The challenge of winning her. That was what was keeping her alive. No other Mistress had lasted as long as she. No one held in such esteem. Nova's arm was tucked in his as she escorted him to his shuttle. Dressed all in white cold sparkling jewels shimmering in the artificial light. She did not look at him as he kissed her hand.

"Farewell my butterfly."

"Farewell my Lord."

"I will return."

She didn't know if that was a threat or a promise. All she knew was that she could not leave him. And he could not leave her. They were cursed together. After he had left she went back to her room and cried. She didn't pray anymore.

AN: As you can tell this is going to be a very dark story. Please do not read if you are triggered by themes of suicide or abuse. Comments criticism all appreciated, thank you!