Chapter 35: The Vacation is Over

(Luigi shifted his position a bit. The time was around two in the morning and the downpour was keeping him awake even though he was actually trying to get some sleep. He certainly didn't need a repeat of last night. Besides, Mario was doing better today than he was the day before anyway. There was no need for Luigi to watch over him at night. In any case, the rain has been falling all night and Luigi couldn't sleep. He moved again to get more comfortable only for a spring in the couch to dig into his ribs. Luigi uttered a grunt of displeasure and walked off into the kitchen. He looked out the window and sighed.)

Luigi: I'd better go out there and see what the damage is like now.

(Luigi quietly went upstairs and put on a fresh shirt and pair of overalls, then grabbed a flashlight and went out. It was an absolute mess. With the snow gone and the rain continuing to pound the island, it now looked like a swamp. Luigi ran down the muddy driveway to see the water level.)

Luigi: Sweet Christ nooooooo!

(The water was so high now that even the hillside hole that Mario was trapped in two nights ago was flooded.)

Luigi: Good God! The dock! Is the boat still there? Shit! This water's cold!

(Luigi plopped himself into the water and swam to where the dock is. Or at least where it used to be. Strangely, the boat was still afloat, though it is tied to the dock. Using an extra long rope no doubt. Luigi dove underwater to untie it. Because it was so dark down there, he had to dive several times. When he finally got it, he climbed into the boat and started it up while he was sputtering profanities the entire time. He did not go far with the boat. He drove it up the driveway and got it as close to the "shore" as possible. Now everyone won't have to carry their belongings as far when evacuation time comes...which should be as soon as everyone wakes up. Luigi tied the boat to a tree and returned to the house. Soaked and shivering, Luigi went to the bathroom and took his wet clothes off. He dried off with a towel, then put his pajamas back on and went to get some sleep in the living room. Some six hours later...)

Toad: Holy shit! That's a lot of rain!

Waluigi: For crying out loud! Will this ever end?

(Daisy and Kirby came into the boys' room.)

Daisy: Oh...still raining, huh?

Yoshi: Seems like it. I guess we'll have to do what Luigi said and leave.

Wario: I'm gonna totally miss this place though. Oh well.

Peach: Please. All you did was sit in the swimming pool.

(Peach left the boys' room and went downstairs where the living room sleepers were also waking up.)

Bowser: Damn. That rain just won't quit, will it?

Luigi: That does it. I've had enough. We're leaving...right...now...

Mario: Can we have breakfast first? I'm really starving here.

Peach: How are you feeling today, Mario?

Mario: Pretty good actually. I might be over my cold now.

Peach: Well, try to take it easy. You might relapse. Here. I'll whip up some oatmeal before we go.

(Peach went into the kitchen and made some oatmeal for breakfast. Because she rushed it so much, it didn't taste too great. Nobody dared to say anything about it though. Except...)

Toad: Blargh! What'd you do? Take a shit in the pot and call it oatmeal?

Peach: That's disgusting, Toad! I'm just trying to help! If you don't like it, you can always wait until we have lunch back at the castle. Speaking of that, Luigi, how are we going to go about doing this?

Luigi: What is there to do? We pretty much just pack our bags, hightail it to the boat and get the hell out of here. I suppose I could call Phil and tell him that we're leaving early, but I'm so pissed off that I don't feel like it. He can deal with this death trap himself. Ah, but I think the water might've risen some more. So I'm gonna have to bring the boat closer inland. Bowser, you come with me and help me pull on the rope.

Mario: I'm coming too.

Luigi: No, Mario. You stay here and pack. Bowser and I can handle this.

(Luigi and Bowser ran outside, leaving a disappointed Mario behind.)

Mario: Oh...man... I think I know how Weegie feels when I tell him he can't go on adventures with me now. It kinda hurts. No wonder he hates me sometimes. Eh. Better go pack our stuff.

(Mario went upstairs and started to put Luigi's N64 games in his bag. He couldn't help but notice Yoshi hovering around the toy box though.)

Mario: What are you doing?

Yoshi: I'm gonna bring some Power Drinkers back home with me. As a memento.

Mario: Uh...isn't that considered stealing?

Yoshi: Maybe. But this place will be as good as dead in a little while anyway. I don't think it matters much.

Mario: Okay okay. Sorry I asked. ...See anything I might like in there?

(Outside, Bowser was following Luigi to the boat.)

Bowser: So what are we doing?

Luigi: I went outside last night and brought the boat to the shore. We're just bringing it closer so everyone can get in with no problem. Okay. Here it is.

Bowser: Whoa! Cold water!

(Luigi untied the boat and they both pulled on the rope.)

Luigi: Pull! Pull, you son-of-a-bitch!

Bowser: I'm pulling! I'm pulling!

(Back in the house, everyone had their things packed and were generally hanging out in the living room now.)

Waluigi: So...we really are leaving, huh?

Mario: Yup. As soon as Luigi comes back in and gives us the word.

D.K.: Well, before we leave, I'd just like to say- What's wrong with Kirby?

(Kirby, who was sitting on Daisy's lap, was beginning to fade away. Daisy looks at him in shock.)

Daisy: Oh no! What's wrong?

Kirby: It looks like HAL has finally found me. I can return home now.

Daisy: What? No!

Kirby: Good...bye...day...see...

(Kirby has now completely vanished.)

Daisy: KIIIIIRBY! NOOOO! Damn you all! Damn you all to hell! Arrrrrgh!

(In a fit of rage, Daisy kicked Wario in the shin.)

Wario: You dumb bitch! What the hell?

(When Luigi and Bowser came back inside, they saw Wario and Daisy squaring off. Although Daisy was much weaker than Wario, she was putting up a pretty good fight. When Daisy saw Luigi, she broke away from Wario and latched onto him.)

Daisy: Get me out of this terrible place! I want to go home right now!

Luigi: Yeah...about that... Everything is all set. The path to the boat is muddy and slippery, so watch your step. Now...go go go!

(Bowser held the front door open and let everyone out. Luigi turned the light out before taking his leave. Everyone ran down the path as quickly as possible while being careful about the mud. They threw their bags into the boat, then hopped into it themselves. Luigi took the driver's seat and started the motor.)

Bowser: Here, guys. Get under this tarp. It should help keep the rain off you.

(Bowser pulled out a blue tarp and everyone got under it. Except for Luigi and Bowser of course. Mario pokes his head out to watch Phillip Island disappear in the distance.)

Mario: Take one last look at the island, everybody. This will probably be the last time we'll see it. Ciao!

(Peach, Yoshi and D.K. poke their heads out.)

Peach: Bye, Phillip Island!

Yoshi: See you later, alligator!

D.K.: Nice knowing you!

(The four withdrew back into the tarp.)

Mario: By the way D.K. What were you about to say before Kirby left?

D.K.: I was just gonna say that with all the craziness that we went through during the past week, our normal lives will probably feel like a vacation.

(Everyone quietly nods in agreement. Bowser sits down next to Luigi.)

Luigi: Sit tight. I've already got this thing floored.

Bowser: I...need to have a word with you.

Luigi: I'm listening.

Bowser: Look, I'm sure the past few days or so have been really great, but I'm afraid that I'll have to call off the truce.

Luigi: I was just about to say the same thing actually. Surely, we're disturbing some kind of delicate balance and the world will blow up or something unless we cut it out.

Bowser: I hear you there. But still, I'm gonna feel kinda bad when I fight you from now on.

Luigi: Oh, don't worry about that. I'll just let Mario handle everything.

Bowser: You mean you want him to hog the spotlight?

Luigi: Sure. After all, lots of people like the underdog more than the hero. I've also been meaning to work on stuff. Like soccer.

Bowser: Good idea. I'm sure you'd make a killer soccer player. What with those nasty kicks of yours.

(And so...after a whole week of pure insanity, Mario and the gang return home from their vacation on Phillip Island. Ah, but what happened to everyone? Let's take a look...)

Mario went back to battling evil just like he did before. Though he did have a strong fear of ice and snow for the longest time. He also made Luigi destroy that one embarrassing video of him, never to be seen ever again.

Luigi, true to his word, let Mario have all the fame while he honed his soccer and karate skills. He never did figure out what was up with his dreams, but he eventually passed it off as deja vu and didn't mind it too much.

Wario was just as lazy as ever for awhile. But then he decided that he needed a pool so he rounded up some of his friends and started creating games. The fat lard is swimming now...in money.

Waluigi's current whereabouts are unknown. Some say that he went back to work on his tennis skills. Others say that he's going to open a taco stand. In any case, I just don't understand that guy.

Peach, being the dumb bimbo that she is, went back to being kidnapped on a near daily basis. On her free days, though, she does get cooking lessons. Too bad she still gets salt and sugar mixed up.

Daisy is currently suffering from what she calls Kirby Withdrawal and is slowly becoming dumber and more annoying. Luigi felt bad and got her a Furby as a present. Everyone else is considering putting her in an insane asylum.

Yoshi tried to introduce the Mighty Belchin' Power Drinkers to the rest of the yoshi clan. I think they realized how stupid he was and banished him to some cave. If that's the case, there's no telling when he'll be freed.

Toad was admitted to CA (Cussers Anonymous) by Peach for all the swearing he did. He's actually been good about attending his meetings, but he could very well snap sooner or later. He also lost his job to Toadsworth.

Bowser returned to his Peach-kidnapping ways. But because Luigi has turned him into a bit of a softie, he's only succeeded a few times. Of course he still gets a pounding from Mario when that is the case.

D.K. got it the easiest of all. Because he lives on a tropical island and rarely even goes on adventures, every day does look like a vacation for him. The lucky bum.