Completed! Sorry for such delay! Please read and review if you love it or hate it!

Chapter 10

We were sitting in the on-call room from before, my hand gripping onto Joseph looking like such a pathetic mess it was unreal. Giving him credit where credit was due he was taking it all in his stride considering that I was currently cutting off the blood supply in his fingers with one hand and drawing blood on his shoulders due to my nails gripping onto his back.

"Ssshhhh it's ok I'm right here. I got you baby it's ok." He was rubbing soothing gentle circles on my back. I have never felt so safe in that moment. I must have fell asleep as I was awakened by the little girl who looked so much like her mother. She was sitting on her knees smiling down at me.

"Hey there sweet girl." She lay down beside me and cuddled in as far as she could and wiped away a stray tear I didn't even realise I had shed.

"Don't be sad Auntie Jac. I already know about mommy." I pulled her in and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Are you ok?" She really is five going on fifty.

"I am fine Sweet girl...are you ok?"She only nodded and fell asleep beside me as I ran my fingers through her hair. I could faintly hear the door closing behind me as I felt his hand run down my arm he stood and stared at me for about five minutes before it started to feel creepy. "Stop it. You know molesting a sleeping person is a serious offence." I could actually feel him jump slightly, he walked over to the chair at the far end of the room.

"I thought you were asleep." I cracked open my eye and detangled myself from the sleeping girl beside me and went over to where he was sitting on the chair. He grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. "How are you holding up?" Just him being here made me feel better.

"I'm holding on. It's just hard...I don't know what to say to her." As we both looked over she was the double of Tasha, her eyes, nose, mouth everything it was actually creepy. Joseph pulled me in for a hug and sighed against my neck where his breath tickled me slightly and gave me a warm buzz I hadn't felt in a while.

"Just be there for her Jac, that's all you can do."I know in theory he was right but when it comes down to it she says she understands but she is only five years old. I want to provide her with a stable home but what the hell is the first thing I know about raising a child. "You're thinking too much again Jac. I love you." Everytime he said that I could tell he was telling the truth and that he meant it, his eyes tell the truth. As I lean forward to kiss him we fit perfectly, curve of my hips to his, lips and contours moving in sync.

"I love you too." I rest my forehead on his as his hands wrap around me bringing my body into a bubble that only he can create. It didn't seem that long but soon enough it was daylight and they had taken Tasha's body away to get ready for buriel. Turns out she had everything all planned out already and paid for so all I had to do was make a few phones calls...how morbid is that?

As I walked into her room in the hospital I saw everything lying there. Clothes, Toys and Books. I began packing everything up when I saw an envelope along with a huge binder with loads of papers in it with my name on it in her handwriting. I don't want to read this here, anybody could walk in and see me. I finished packing and walked out to the on call room from before, Rach was sleeping in the bed and Joseph had fell asleep on the chair. After placing the binder on the desk I opened the envelope and read it.

Hey Girlie,

I know right now you are pissed of and confused but I really need you to listen. The deeds to my apartment in New York is in the folder and all the numbers you will need to sort out my burial. I know this is morbid and totally Hallmark Movie cliche but I want you to know I love you. You were my best friend and the best person to look after my beautiful little girl and if Joseph is the kind of nice guy I know he is I know you will not be alone.

There are papers in the file aswell which tell you information about the account of money I left for you to give to Rachel for college. I want her to go to College she is too smart not too, that is the only thing I want for her...good school, eduction and a happiness. Let her be happy Jac and I will be happy.

My affairs have been set up and I have an account with all my money for her to get when she is old enough and responsible enough to handle it. I love you with all my heart Jac, I want you too be happy too...Joseph is an incredible man I know he is the one fore you. Please be happy and don't greive my death, celebrate my life.

The absence is there physically and it might be crippling at first but I will always be with you. Think of Barcelona and tell my baby girl how much I loved her, tell her of our adventures...minus the whole sleeping around and drugs thing at least until she is older.

Love Always

Your Girl Tash xxx

By the time I got too the end I was crying harder than I ever had in my entire life. God is this my freaking punishment? Catching up on all the years I never shed a tear.

"Hey are you ready to go home?" I don't know what I would have done without him in my life the past couple of weeks. He has been my rock, even now as he presses small kisses to my neck, no one has ever made me feel like he does. He makes me feel like a million bucks.

"Yeah I am. Are you staying?" Ever since we got together again he usually stayed the night but seeing as it would be Rachel first night without her mum. God what if I screw this up, I need to be level headed and in order for that to happen I need to have him near me.

"If you want me." I only smiled and wrap my arms around him.

"I will always want you." He kissed me tenderly but full of Passion.

"That is good, because I will always be around. Why do his kisses always make me feel weak in the knees. As long as he is beside me I will be ok.

It has been a long year after Tasha died, Rachel is now settling in to school again and I am getting my stride back at work, having been a mother to Rachel for a full year it has put things into perspective for me. There is nothing more inportant to me than that little girl.

About six months after Tash died Joseph and I moved in together. We already spent so much time together anyway so we decided what the hell? A year can chance a person...I have the life I never knew I wanted but now I wouldn't change a thing. We are all happy and healthy what more could I want? This is my life I guess people really do get Second Chances.

That's it finito...but I may write a follow up depending on the demand for it! Love Jac Joseph! J/J FOREVER Please read and review!