Hey reader! This story is loosely based on 10 Things I Hate About You. I dont own anything but the story. Give credit where credit is due. Enjoy

A wiry gentleman in his early 50's glanced up from his Chicago Tribune at the dirty blonde leaning on his doorframe with patience. He sighed expectantly as he folded his paper and carefully set it aside. Wanting to try the teenager's patience, he took his time as he removed his spectacles, straightened his tie ever so slowly, and folded his hands in front on his desk. At this the girl rolled her eyes and sat down opposite of the man before he even waved her in.

"So Dick, how's the tribune this morning? Did you manage to read that article on how the majority of taxpayer's money is being wasted every year on overpaid school guidance counselors who are frequently found slacking on the job? It was very insightful."

Mr. Richard Galler faked a smile and mentally gave himself a pat on the back. Without his glasses, he couldn't see her hostile and frightening expression. As the teenager continued in rather nasty quips, he slickly turned his right ear away from her and turned his hearing aid off. Much better.

After amusing himself for some time, he lifted his hand to silence her. When the blurry pink fuzz he guessed were her lips stopped moving, he finally spoke.

"Maximum Ride. As much as I cherish these moments we share, should I really have to pencil you into my schedule everyday for fourth period?" He lifted his left hand to gently brush his peppered toupee and slowly lowered his hand towards the hearing aid on his left ear and its OFF button.

"That shouldn't be a problem. You have so much time any-"

Mr. Galler chuckled to himself. Silence seemed like music to him, especially when Max made her daily appearances in his office.

"My dear," he began, cutting her off, "I heard you were terrorizing Mr. Bartley's class again. Apparently you called him, as well as Friedrich Nietzsche, chauvinist pigs, am I correct?"

Richard Galler watched the pink fuzzy lips move vigorously without sound and sang the alphabet in his head, trying to match his thoughtful singing to the rhythm of Max's unheard, incessant rant. When he got tired of that, he lifted his hand again to silence her.

"How about I transfer you to Mr. Martin's "Feminist Prose of the Modern Age." The class is full of delinquents and potheads who have yet to notice the kind of class they are actually enrolled in. I'm sure your positive and enthusiastic opinions on the subject will contribute to a constructive learning environment for everyone." At this, despite his bad ears, Mr. Galler heard a shriek of delight come from the young lady before him.

As he watched her leave his office to meet the secretary for her new schedule, Mr. Galler felt accomplished. He then remembered his reason and desire in becoming a school guidance counselor over 25 years ago: he could change student's lives (hopefully for the better) without even trying. Chuckling again to himself, he quickly retrieved the newspaper beside him and spent the remainder of the morning searching for his spectacles.

Iggy laughed as Michael described the scene before them. Compared to the coffee-maniacs in the left corner of the cafeteria and the audio-visual geeks on the opposite end, Ig actually felt normal in his new school despite being blind; or well, kinda.

"Behind you is your basic group of beautiful people. Don't look, speak, or even breathe near them unless they let you." Michael warned in all seriousness.

"Right. No looking. I'll try and remember that." Iggy joked chuckling at Michael's slipup.

"Ig, you're half-blind. The whole guilt-trip won't work on me. I'm all knowing and powerful" Michael answered arrogantly. Despite being assigned to show the new kid around Padua High, Michael was having a fun time with Iggy. He hardly even noticed the whole blind thing. Besides, Iggy still knew when Michael was flipping him off or stealing a couple cheese fries from his lunch tray.

"Stalker," Iggy taunted, catching Michael's hand before it reached his food again. "Then again, you can't help-" Just then, the sight of the most beautiful girl Ig had ever set eyes on crossed right in front of the table he sat at, cutting him off mid-sentence. Of course all he saw was a nice curvy mocha blob, but her voice was like music to his ears. "What group does she belong in?" Iggy breathed.

"The don't even think about it group," Michael said after watching Ig's little dumb and enamored little episode. "Her parents are missionaries and they're extremely conservative. That means no dating til she's about 40."

"Yeah, sure whatever," Iggy said, still staring after the girl's retreating figure, determined to find out everything about her. Michael rolled his eyes and attempted one last time to steal a measly little cheese fry before the bell rang.

Nudge placed three fruit cups, four empty hamburger patties, and a bag of carrots on her lunch tray, trying to avoid eye contact with the pizza and curly cheese fries that were practically screaming "Eat me!" As she was passing by the assortments of mystery lunchmeat, her friend Ashley joined her.

"Whoa, Nudge, going on some kind of diet? Maybe I should start one too," said Ashley suddenly glancing down nervously at her flat stomach.

Ashley was a model and made sure everyone knew that. She had bleached-blonde hair, sharp features and was completely fake-baked with a tan no one could possibly have naturally gotten in Chicago. Not only was she completely plastic on the surface, but as Nudge soon discovered, also in every deep and shallow crevice of her soul (No joke, she somehow paid to have plastic surgery on that too). Nevertheless, Ashley made a great conversationalist whether it was politics:

"Obama is soooo awesome. He's like the hottest black President the U.S. of A has ever had."

Fashion:

"Nudge, I thought I told you to wear the red top. It'll make your boobs look even bigger!"

Or even philosophical dealings:

"See Nudge, there's a difference between like and love. Cause I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack."

Nevertheless, Ashley was a sweet girl and Nudge had to hand it to her, she did have a few bright moments.

"Did you hear about the hot new senior? " Ashley asked excitedly as they both approached the cash register in the lunch line. "His name is Iggy and apparently he's just as hot as Sam."

With the mention of Sam's name, Nudge's ears pricked up. Since her first day at Padua High as a freshman, Nudge was head-over-heels in love with him. He was the captain of the swim team, had wavy blonde hair, broad mouth-watering shoulders and dreamy green eyes. Take every woman's perception of an extremely hot man and mesh it into one superhuman being. This was that man.

"But I heard he's like blind or something. Anyways, I decided you can have him since I'm still recovering from my and Chad's awful breakup. My heart is in a very delicate and emotional state at the moment," Ashley said as her voice broke. Nudge swore she heard the lunch lady snort.

"Uh Ash, in case you forgot, my dad is like Hitler. He won't let me date unless Max dates but you know that'll never happen. Any chance of me having at least some teenage normalcy in my life has just died because of this new rule." Nudge whined, too tired and disheartened to speak anymore. Ashley looked sympathetically at Nudge while she paid for her tray of food. A moment of silence passed between them.

"OMG, I know what to do!" Ashley squeaked suddenly, making the lunch lady jump. Nudge's sleek eyebrow rose in question. "Since you're not allowed to date until Max does, and well, no one in his or her right mind would want to date your scary sister, we should find someone for her. Then when she's dating, you can go out with Sam or whoever. All we have to do is find someone up for something like… extreme dating! " At this, Nudge giggled at the thought and started heading towards her lunch table tray in hand with her ditzy friend.

"Ash, that has to be the smartest idea you've ever come up with!" Nudge exclaimed, excited for the plan. As the girls passed a table with two guys, Nudge couldn't help but feel that someone was staring at her. As she turned her head towards the table of two, her eyes met with pale gray ones. At this, she quickly turned her head forward and stared at the ground, unsure about the chills that were running up her back.

Iggy approached his last class of the day with excitement. Although he expected his Computer Science class to be full of socially inept computer geeks, he still had some small hope of seeing her there. He knew it was dumb to even think it could be possible, after all, why would such an angel from heaven waste her time with computers?

Iggy entered the computer lab and chose a lab table at the way back. He mentally gave himself a pat on it back for not bumping into anything or anyone and carefully took out his textbook. Before long, floods of students entered the lab and filled every seat; every seat that is, except for the one next to him. Feeling self-conscious, Iggy lifted his right arm slowly and sniffed his underarm.

Iggy gave out a sigh of relief. It wasn't him, it was them. As the bell rang, he looked up to the front of the classroom (for appearances sake) only to see the mocha figure enter the classroom. His almost coughed his heart out when he saw her approach his table where the only remaining seat was.

Focusing all his efforts on not staring at her, Ig barely heard the teacher assign a project and instruct the class to discuss it with their lab partners (who were coincidently the people one sat next to). Burning with excitement, Iggy coolly turned towards his new lab partner and introduced himself to her.

Unbeknownst to Iggy, recognition flashed across Nudge's face. So this was the hot new senior. After formal introductions, random questions, and floods of laughter were shared, Nudge begrudgingly decided it was time to focus on their project.

"So what do you think of the project that Ms. Neal just assigned us? I mean, it's only the third week of school and your first day." Iggy decided he was officially in love with Nudge's singsong voice.

"Yeah, I know, it looks pretty difficult…so difficult that we might just have to work on it extra over the weekend. Like, maybe this Saturday after dinner and a movie…?" Iggy looked to the side and ruffled his hair, trying hard not to smack himself. Did he really just say that?

Nudge broke out into a huge smile. "Are you asking me out? Ohmygod, that's so cute." Nudge felt ecstatic. Not only was Sam starting to notice her, but also Iggy had just asked her out. Despite being popular, Nudge couldn't help but feel flattered every time a guy came on to her. She just loved the attention. Now if only Max was more like her. More open. Things would be so much easier.

"Yeah, and I know you're not allowed to date, but I'm sure if you told your parents it was for a project or-"

"Actually," Nudge said, cutting Iggy off, "My dad made a new rule. I can date when my sister Max dates. But my sister is like a mutant. She completely hates guys." Nudge said despairingly, looking at him through her eyelashes.

"Well, that's perfect. I can find someone for Max so you can date!" Iggy proclaimed a bit too enthusiastically. "I mean if you want me too, I guess I could find time or something." He added without energy. He looked down. He was behaving way too desperate. He had to stay cool. Girls loved that.

"You'd do that for me?" Nudge said, clasping Iggy's hand. Iggy looked from their hands to her face and back again, very surprised.

"Hell yes!"

Iggy's high spirits were failing. The next day, after letting Michael in on his encounter with Nudge, they both set out to find a guy willing to date the Maximum Ride. Iggy started to wonder just how awful this girl was after all the guys he asked to date her either ran away, screamed, or just laughed in his face.

"Now, my friend, don't give up hope just yet," Michael said, placing his hand on Iggy's shoulder. "There's always bigger and better fish in the sea…or is it ocean? Except when it comes to Nudge Ride, there is no better fish. Yup, brother, you're screwed."

Iggy let his head fall into his hands. "I burn, I pine, I perish!" He stared down onto the lab table at the preserved dismembered frog they were supposed to dissect. His heart felt like it was on the same boat.

"Hey man, come on. You've got to stay strong. You can make it through this. Just take a few deep breaths and think happy thoughts." Michael wanted to burst out in laughter at the whole situation, but decided his friend was in dire need of medical attention. He looked up from his crumpled friend to call out to Mr. Carps, but instead saw the perfect candidate for the GMTDSICGTLOHL plan aka Get Max To Date So Iggy Can Get The Love Of His Life plan.

"Hey Romeo, how about this guy?" Michael said, elbowing Iggy while staring at the dark-haired guy two tables down.

"What's he like?" Iggy questioned, not even bothering to look up in his state of distress.

"Uh, dark hair, you can't really see much of his face, it's kind of long. He's pretty tall. Muscular. Nice fitted black shirt. I wonder where he got it." After a jab from Ig, he continued. "But I don't know man. We shouldn't mess with him. His name is Fang. They say he killed a man using only his pinky and a toothpick. He just served a year in U.S. Penitentiary in Marion."

Iggy lifted his head and took a good look at the guy. "He's perfect."

And the shrew will make her debut appearance in the next chapter. Yay.