Title: Goodbye
Synopsis: There was never enough to make Gilbert attached to the Nightrays and never enough for him to forget about Oz. Some things, however, came pretty close. Oz/Gilbert/Elliot friendship.
Rating: T
A/N: This made me kind of sad, for some reason. Probably because I'm very close with my sibling. I've found that I like to write a lot about Elliot and Gilbert's relationship, because it's sort of weird. I dunno. I'm tired. Anyways, I hope that you enjoy and I would appreciate it if you'd review.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pandora Hearts, because if I did, Rufus Barma would be in every panel with his fabulousness.
…
"My faith cannot be tossed and my life will not be lost if my love comes across."
-'I'll Fight' by Wilco
…
"Master Gilbert is home." The maid announced to no one in particular when Gil walked through the doors of the Nightray Manor. Looking away from the staff that had probably noticed his ever increasing absence from the main house, he hurried through the doorway, handing his coat over to the maid that had greeted him. "Your hat, sir?" She asked, not meaning any harm, but he continued to walk, ignoring her, except for the fact that he now kept a hand clenched on the brim of his cap, unwilling to give it up to anyone.
Through the familiar, yet cold, halls he walked, hoping that no one would spot him. He hadn't thought that he would need that old book when he had left this house, never intending to return for any reason, but he had overlooked its importance to him. He hadn't been able to sleep, not without that tome that had always sat on his shelf, never read but frequently taken out.
So through the halls of the overly large mansion he went; he had picked a time where he thought his foster parents and brothers, both blood and adopted, would not be in. So long as there were no abnormalities in their schedules and the help remained relatively quiet, then he should have been able to go in, get the book, and get back to Pandora before anyone would notice.
He made it to the room that he had stayed in since Oz had been taken into the Abyss, nine years ago. When he had arrived that metal bed in the corner had seemed so large and cold, now it was small and pathetic. It was a distant reminder of why he needed to leave; he was no longer weak. He could save Oz, with the help of Break, and then things would be right once again.
Remembering what he was there for, Gil looked up at the wall of books. Old and dusty, most of the books that his family had given to him over time had rarely been touched; many of the pages were yellow and molding with the bad care and rare use. Except that one book, that one had been opened so many times that its pages were crumpled and tear stained, but as hard as Gil looked, he could not find it.
When he had left it had been on the far corner of the shelf, closest to his bed, but the large black tome was no longer sitting there as it always had been. His heart dropped into his stomach as the thought of someone taking it.
Confused and irritated, Gil left the room and headed to the library. Perhaps one of the maids had been in there and had taken the book to the main collection of books that the Nightray family kept and used. Except Gil; having forgotten his past and having never attended a real school, he wasn't book smart. That didn't make him unintelligent, but it did mean that his time spent in the library was lower than that of his brothers. Books just didn't interest him as they did others.
After a short walk he reached that place and stopped dead in his tracks. Sitting in a chair by the fireplace, facing Gil with his nose in the very book that he was looking for, was Elliot Nightray, his younger brother.
Hearing the noise, his brother looked up. "Whoa, Gilbert, you're here." There was almost a bit of a smile on his young face. Gilbert wondered how old he was now; he had lost count of how old his respective siblings were. "You haven't been here in a few days, right? Did Pandora send you out on a mission?"
His parents hadn't told him the full story, then. With his brothers being killed, they probably wanted to shelter Elliot from what was happening to make sure that he wasn't emotionally scarred or something. Though he knew that there were many things that were less than kind about the Nightray family, he understood their logic in this. Elliot was still young to have all of this happening to him. Someone less mature may have already cracked by that point; it was lucky that Elliot seemed old for his age. But the sad truth was that Gil had left the Nightray family; he was no longer living there. To save face, the Nightrays probably kept it a secret from the world, though it would come out soon enough. He hoped that when it did come out, Elliot would be fine.
"That book," Gil began, but trailed off. Elliot had always been the smartest of all of his brothers; the most open minded, the most kind… and yet he was very reserved. Someone would never know how kind he truly was, because he tended to hide it beneath a thick façade. Besides his family and his servant he rarely spoke to anyone, making him look like quite a snob, when he was really the opposite. "Reo… where's Reo?" Gil asked, wondering why his brother was alone.
Elliot shrugged. "I gave him the day off. I promised mother and father that I would stay inside today, and it's not like anyone will target him, so I let him have some time to himself." That kid seemed so lonely without Reo; now that his brothers were gone, he had no one besides that servant. "Besides, we're heading off to the Academy tomorrow, so this may be the last chance for him to see the town for a long time."
Gil had forgotten that Elliot was going off to school. It would be safer for him there, away from the headhunter and the rumors that plagued his family, than it was here. "Are you nervous?"
Elliot shrugged. "It's got to be better than being homeschooled. At least there I'll have some sort of freedom. Maybe they'll even let me outside every once-in-awhile." He smiled, and it reminded Gil of the good things that had come with living with the Nightrays. Elliot wasn't as bad as the rest of his family; he had really considered him to be his brother. Still, that very smile reminded him of something more important; Oz, the one who he needed to find, had been fond of that same sort of look. A pang of loneliness shot through Gilbert, one that the Nightray family would never understand.
"I'm glad that you're okay, Elliot."
The boy shrugged. "Life goes on, even if you don't think that it will." He sighed. "Anyways, my coming of age ceremony is going to be next week, so make sure that Pandora doesn't send you out on another ridiculously long mission again, okay? I don't want you to miss it, if it can be avoided."
That answered Gil's question for him, then. Elliot was fifteen.
That news took Gil by surprise. He took a step back away from his brother. When he had been fifteen he was a mess; Oz had just been sucked into the Abyss and he had just been taken out of his comfortable life of servitude and thrown into a world of fancy parties and expensive clothing that he had never once wanted nor asked for.
Still, Elliot's life had been far harder than his own. Even he would admit that.
"Are you alright, Gilbert? You look ill." His head tilted just a bit to the side, his eyes inquisitive and caring; eyes that Gilbert didn't deserve to be looked at with. He was a failure as a brother, running from the responsibilites of familial bonds to search for a dream that may never come true. "Should I call a doctor for you?"
Gil shook his head and took a seat on the chair next to Elliot's. He hadn't wanted to stay long, and he knew that he ran the risk of being caught if he stayed, but he needed to spend just another minute with his brother. They weren't blood related, and Gil felt almost no loyalty to the Nightray family, but he felt that he owed Elliot something more than he did the others. If Gil was going to be leaving, he wanted Elliot to have something good to remember him by.
Oz had also been fifteen when he was pulled into the Abyss; the last memories that Gil had of Oz before his descent were of him slashing his chest with a sword. Gil would be leaving Elliot and the final impression that he wanted to make was not one of blood, but one of love, because he guessed that he sort of felt that way towards his adopted sibling.
"By the way, this book is really good," He turned the book over in his lap and looked at the cover. "I had always heard that this series was dull, just a fad from ten years ago, but I really like it. Is that why you were always reading it?"
The truth was, Gil had never read that book. He didn't think that he had ever made it past the first few pages. Reading had never been his skill and the thoughts of Oz that it brought made it impossible for him to not get emotional while reading. Instead he just took that book out and used it as a reminder of what he was fighting for, and why he did the things he did. That book was the journey that he would go on as soon as he stepped outside of that household.
Still, now, at the last moments of the game, there seemed to be something else to fight for as well. "You can have that if you'd like it, Elliot." A small parting gift to remember him by.
"Really Gilbert? You've always seemed pretty attached to this book." Gil shrugged, already feeling a little bit lonelier without it. "Thank you… brother."
"Good luck at school, then, Elliot." He said, backing out of the room, wanting to be far away from here, far away from the doubts that were beginning to cloud his mind.
Long ago he had promised himself that everything he did would be for Oz, to get Oz out of the Abyss and to be once again reunited with his master. For the longest time he had all but given up hope; it seemed like an impossible venture taken on by a mad man. But when Break had told him that there was a shot, no matter how small, that with his help Oz could be brought back to this world, he knew that he would abandon everything to go for that one shot.
His family, his brothers, his comfortable life, everything.
And that everything included Elliot and the kindness that he so desperately tried to hide and that way that he could brighten Gil's day without even knowing it or trying.
"Gilbert, where are you going? Aren't you going to stay?" Elliot's gaze sharpened, and Gil knew that he was caught. Besides being book smart, he had forgotten that Elliot was also great at reading through people; a good skill for him to have in life, but not one that Gil was excited that his brother had right now.
Gilbert slowly shook his head as he stood up. "No, I'm not."
"Is this temporary or-"
"Permanent."
For a moment, Elliot just stared at his brother. He then stood, fire in his eyes. It was the look that had made him so unpopular with his peers, the one that his father had taught him, the one that would forever be the barrier between Elliot and those who he deemed 'unworthy'. "Then leave, Gilbert." He said, icily, waiting for Gil to protest, to change his mind, and to be forgiven.
But there was no waver in Gilbert's mind. He would do whatever he could to find Oz, even if it meant leaving this household and this person. "Goodbye then, Elliot." He paused, his brother fuming at him. "I do love you, you know."
Without waiting to hear whatever insults would be hurled at him, Gilbert walked away, knowing that he would never stray from the path that he had set out on. Finding Oz was the priority, nothing else mattered.
Even so, the tears that fell from his eyes told a different story.
…
Fin