Disclaimer: Transformers © Hasbro
Warnings: Angst. Holy mother of tacos, the angst.
Notes: Written for tf_rare_pairing's May Challenge. This is still somewhat in progress, so it'll get longer. The challenge is located at community(dot)livejournal(dot)com/tf_rare_pairing/106748(dot)html.

Separation by time or distance? I'll raise you by an alternate universe.

Units of Measure: 1 vorn = 83 stellar cycles; 1 stellar cycle = 1 year

Never Again

When Cliffjumper suddenly reappeared after being missing and presumed deactivated after two full vorns, he had changed.

For one, he was quieter than he had been before, not really attempting to interact with the mechs he'd lived and worked beside for millions of vorns before his disappearance. He was overtly cautious around them, almost as if he wasn't certain of his place in the world any longer and waiting for the other brake pad to drop.

Then there was the way he outright avoided certain mechs. He was wary around nearly everyone, true, but he went out of his way to keep from crossing paths with Sideswipe or Sunstreaker, and at least one time he'd turned and walked the other way when Red Alert had approached him in the halls. It was almost disturbing, to be honest, that he seemed to be avoiding those three in particular, as if he equated their alt modes with some memory of his 'missing time' that distressed him.

It took nearly six months before he would speak about where he had been, and the story was disturbing enough that Ratchet had ordered him to medbay for a full maintenance check. The idea that there was an alternate timeline where the Autobots were worse than any Decepticon and the Decepticons were trying to defend both Earth and neutral Cybertron was unbelievable, but Cliffjumper stuck to his story no matter how often he was asked to explain it just one more time.

The changes that Ratchet noted during his examination of the minibot, however, he kept to himself.

Cliffjumper had aged while he was in that twisted universe, that was a given. Yet where he'd been missing for two vorns, he had aged five. He'd received at least three upgrades during that time, including a more advanced jet pack mod. The most troubling change, the one that had worried Ratchet and caused him to keep the minibot for a few cycles of observation, was that his spark frequency was drastically altered.

Every spark he'd ever seen, including Cliffjumper's before his disappearance, was positively charged to the point where electrons were either completely absent or minimal at best. Upon examining the minibot after his return, however, the charge to his spark was no longer pure-positive. Cliffjumper's spark still contained a highly positron-based charge, but almost half of the charge now contained electrons. It was almost pretty in a way, bright white-blue with the harsher red-black sparking randomly throughout, but the medic in Ratchet worried that it was a sign of a virus at first.

At first.

Ratchet wasn't a stupid mech. He knew that there were very few things that would cause a mech or femme's spark frequency to change drastically. He had had to take more than a few rescans of patients after they'd bonded, and almost every single one of those wound up with some aspect of their mates' frequency encoded within their own sparks.

He dutifully recorded the frequency change into Cliffjumper's medical records and turned back to his patient. He wouldn't ask otherwise, but Ratchet needed to know in order to fully monitor the minibot in the cycles to come.

"Cliffjumper," he said, tone quiet and empathetic, "when you were in that 'mirror' universe... did you bond with anyone?"

The minibot was silent for a moment before he looked up and gave the medic a small, sad smile. "Yeah," he replied, sounding very tired and lost, "and now, I'm never gonna see him again."

Ratchet could only watch as Cliffjumper pushed himself up from the berth and slowly left the medbay. It was probably horrible for him to think it, but the medic felt that a kinder fate would have been if the mech had offlined in whatever mishap had brought him back to them.

At least then he wouldn't be suffering.

TBC...