Cat and Mouse, a final fantasy vii fanfic

"Sometimes, I really hate you." the words were slow and carefully chosen, he can tell that much. She leans over the table and taps it five times with her fingers, as if trying to engrain something in the wood. He looks to the fingers and their gritty fashion, the nails much too short and incredibly dirty, though he finds acceptable, knowing fully it's what the young girl wants, knowing it's all she can do to keep herself sane.

It seems silly to say, that dirty nails can keep a person steady, keep their mind in order, though he knows it's only truth. Raising an eyebrow, he looks to the girl and she looks to him, he can see her body stiffen, see her mouth harden and her face still. "Don't look at me like that," she orders, "I can't stand it when you look at me like that."

She stands from the table and carries herself towards the door that will lead her out into the bar where the whooping and hollering sounds are heard, loud and unreasonable: a bit too much. It seems like her perfect scene, her paradise, though he knows it isn't. She pauses with her hand on the door and he can see the lines in her back, the creases in her shirt, all ruffled, still. She's waiting, he knows, waiting for his rebuttal for it seems that is all they do; reply to one another, seeing whose jarring comment will make the other one spill over like water until there is no hope.

"Hate?" is the word he chooses to repeat, the one he knows will irritate her the most. She turns to him, her hair starting to spill on her back and across her shoulders. It's grown, it's grown a lot, actually and he is surprised she hasn't cut it all off yet. Her eyes, a dark grey, stare at him, it's a cold stare that he supposes should make him feel discomforted, though he doesn't he just stares back at her.

"Yes," she says coolly, "hate." and he merely nods. Unexpectedly, she slams her hand against the doorframe and a loud bang is sounded, though only they hear it, for the loud sounds outside the door swallows it all up. She turns to him, her teeth clamped tightly together and she stomps over to him, the two single pea-cock feathers hanging off either large boot reaching a few inches bellow the knee jingle back and forth, the bangles she wears on her arms clank together, and the shorts creep up her thigh in a dangerous way.

"God, Vincent," she shouts though the noise outside the door is louder still, he stares, "stop acting like that! Can't you care?" and Vincent continues to stare at her, "Stop staring at me with those eyes! I can't stand it, I can't stand it!" and she covers her eyes and she bends over and seems to revert into herself. She has spilled over.

"What do you want me to do, Yuffie?" Vincent asks, though it sounds like a murmur. His voice is without a single inflection, it's level, monotone, something she would hate.

"I want you to care, Vincent!" a sniffle, "I want you to care."

They've been playing this cat and mouse game for years, though she hardly knows when she noticed. When she first met Vincent Valentine, she was still a young, teenage girl trying to appease her father. She was a young girl flirting with guys she found cute and she often shouted at random intervals and people began to start calling her brat though she didn't mind. Not really, anyways.

Though she still remembers those times when she would crawl beside him and he would allow it, he never shoved her off, and perhaps she thought this as love, though she knows, in truth, it never was.

"I hate snow," she tells him one day, a day long after they saved the planet, a day that Tifa found fitting to get the Avalanche group together, though it's fucking cold and Yuffie hates it entirely. Vincent looks to her, his cold red eyes, colder than the snow ever could hope to be staring without much of anything in them. Yuffie thinks briefly of the woman from before, the one she knows hardly anything about other than it being the mother of a beast. Though she was Vincent's lover, Yuffie knows that much, too.

"Why?" he asks, he never asks much, just a few things, though Yuffie knows 'why' says all he needs to ask, and more. He never needs to answer her, though he always does and she smiles.

"'Cuz it's fucking cold, what else?" and she stares up at the sky where the snow kisses roof tops and the cold ground and even the few Avalanche members who thought it fun to build a snowman with the children. It's the sort of scene one would expect her to be involved in, though she's not.

"You've been under Cid's influence for too long." Vincent replies and Yuffie smiles even though his voice and face remain placid. She knows he is joking and she touches his hand and he doesn't pull away, just stares out at the snow through the 7th heaven bar's window, Yuffie at his side.

Though maybe Yuffie doesn't realize the game of cat and mouse until Tifa questions her a year later, after Vincent has defeated Hojo a few weeks previous and he is still gone and Yuffie is terrified he has died, "Your hair," she states, Yuffie touches the ends, it reaches to her chin now. "So long, why?"

"It's not long," Yuffie retorts as she makes her hands balance the rest of her lithe body, the gloves begin to slide down her arms and she feels frustrated. Though maybe it's because Shelke is watching her and she always feels inadequate next to the other girl.

"Well, no, but for you it's long." and Yuffie seems to consider it.

"I guess," she replies with a shrug though this makes her topple over onto her head and then her chest followed by her stomach and knees and finally, her feet. "Shit!" she yelps and she sits up, clutching her head.

"Though why the change?" Tifa asks, having learned long ago to not be concerned when Yuffie causes self affliction. Yuffie, meanwhile, forgets the pain as Tifa's question circles her mind. why. She doesn't know. She bites her bottom lip.

She thinks of the woman, the woman Vincent loved, and she remembers how he told her, in a fleeting conversation, that Lucrecia, the woman, had long brown hair and Yuffie thinks that she will never get Vincent's attention unless her hair is long as well, though this answer seems odd to Yuffie, stupid, really.

"Needed a change, is all." Yuffie murmurs before getting up and leaving the room. She thinks for a moment, that maybe she is too kind to Vincent and she should be meaner to him when he returns to them, if he ever does.

When Vincent returns to them, though, Yuffie hugs him so hard she feels like she's squeezing the life out of him, though he doesn't shrug her off, he just stands there and Yuffie realizes Ah, this is a game between a cat and mouse.

She's a temporary replacement, simple as that.

Vincent never knew when the idea came to him, when it fluttered to his mind, though it is for simple reasons, horrible reasons that should make him feel ashamed. She comes to him and holds his hand, murmurs things to him for only him to hear, though he never pulls away, never orders her silence for she is a distraction. A temporary one at that.

His heart still hurts sometimes when he looks into the sky or when he closes his eyes. He dreams of long brunette hair pulled into a tight pony tail. He dreams of sparkling eyes that bore through him when she makes love or of the soft skin that caresses his. Though he knows it is nothing but a fabrication.

Vincent thinks of cutting his hair a lot more now, though he never does it. Perhaps it is a memory to Lucrecia for the time she has been away, or maybe it is because Yuffie will waltz up to him and touch it, telling him how unfair it is that his hair is so long and beautiful. The temporary distraction never ceases to please him. A replacement for a woman the poor girl could never add up to. Never.

Though one day, Vincent decides he is really tired of such long hair and he asks Yuffie to cut it. At first she is surprised by this request, but in the end, concedes. She pulls out scissors, the bar is closed and the rest are gone. She has him sit on a stool, though he ends up being taller than he still so instead he sits at a chair, still reaching to her chest and Vincent realizes for the first time how small the female is.

She touches the sides of his face so softly it surprises him for a moment though he concedes to her advances and when she tilts his head down, he obeys. Snip. The first piece of hair falls and Yuffie stills. "How short?" she asks him, he sighs, his eyes closed and he can't see her any longer, the memory of Lucrecia in his mind as the demons whisper nasty little words to him.

"Short, so it goes to my ears."

"I've only ever cut my hair before." she warns and he gives a "Hrm," and lets her know that it's okay without ever really saying it. He can feel her tiny fingers tremble slightly and he can sense her worry, though he says nothing and neither does she.

Snip, snip, snip.

And in the end, it's like Vincent is looking right into the past 30 some odd years ago.

Yuffie is tired of the cat and mouse game, and she tells him so, Vincent merely smiles sadly and she kisses him, he concedes though they both know she's merely a replacement.

It doesn't take long for their relationship to turn sexual, he kisses her neck, she kisses his dick, he takes her fully, takes the last piece of purity she had, the last shred of her dignity goes out the window and he's not sorry, no not a shred.

Though he's lying to himself.

Yuffie has to go home to Wutai a lot, something about taking the throne soon and nobody in Avalanche asks much because they trust her and let her know she can always call for them. Yuffie is becoming a woman, though she makes sure to return to Vincent once every two weeks at the least even if it means she has to take airships that make her sick. It terrifies her to be away from him, she's constantly worried he'll find a new replacement, though he never does.

Sometimes, Yuffie stays at his apartment for days at a time, sometimes even a week, and she feels like they are a real couple. Sometimes he takes her to dinner or they'll take a walk and they'll talk, though in the end it all results in sex. He touches her here, kisses her there, and it all feels really very wonderful, though not as wonderful if he would reply to her "I love you"s.

She can't be his forever, though this doesn't mean Vincent won't try. It's unfair, it's unfair to have her in his snare, though she never complains so he never bothers to care too much. He kisses her here, touches her there, remembers the feel of a woman, and in return, he gets her love, all of it, and he drinks it in selfishly. He wishes he could care, but his sin is so deep, the feelings of a 20 year old girl are the least of his concerns.

Sometimes she sucks him off because he can't stand touching her, because it makes him feel bad, makes him feel guilty, but she's so willing to please him, he can't resist that much. She tells him she loves him and that she'll wait for him to get over Lucrecia, and that he'll love her after that, he only smiles, a sad smile, because that time will never come, even with her mouth and heart so willing.

Yuffie knows her dreams are worthless, even when she turns 21 and Godo threatens her with marriage, though she takes it in stride because now, sometimes Vincent will hold her hand and sometimes he'll kiss her sweetly and they don't have sex. She feels like this is turning into love, even though she knows it isn't.

She cries at night, Vincent hears her even when she thinks he's fast asleep. Her tears hurt him, but he can't dare reach over, to comfort her, because he still dreams of brown hair and long legs and a beautiful smile and that horrible betrayal. Sometimes he kisses Yuffie to let her know she's the only replace for him, that he could never have another one. Sometimes he'll kiss her and not forgo sex to let her know he still values her as a person though he isn't sure the words get through to her.

Sometimes he feels nervous when she's alone, when she's in the kitchen with a knife, cutting up something for lunch, or when she's in the bathroom taking a shower. He's afraid she'll die. He's afraid she'll kill herself because that is just the sort of thing she'd do.

Yuffie feels stupid. The cat and mouse game never ended, not even now.

Yuffie stops coming to his apartment now, Vincent notices, she hasn't been in weeks and he starts to feel genuinely nervous, he's afraid something bad has happened to her, or, worse, she's tired of this game and she has left him, his single and only replacement. It is in these times that he thinks for a minute that maybe he loves her, but then she returns and he realizes he is mistaken, for he still dreams of long brown hair and soft mewls and gentle caresses.

Sometimes Vincent feels bad, sometimes the guilt is too much, sometimes Vincent, when alone, feels like crying, though he doesn't, he has not a tear left in him, and maybe he never will. When Yuffie returns after a month stint, they have sex and he fucks her hard and she is in pain and he feels bad, so the next time they have sex, he's gentle like a real lover should be, though in the middle of it, she begins to cry, she cries so hard he doesn't know what to do, she clings to him and he doesn't remove her.

"He's m-making me m-marry!" Yuffie exclaims, and Vincent says nothing.

It's annoying, hurtful, that Vincent doesn't care that she's getting married, that he won't stop it. She hates him, she hates that he won't care, though when she goes to see him, she notices he's more gentle with her and sometimes he'll caress her hair, and now when they sleep, he holds her and even though he doesn't love her, or at least, not yet, she can accept this.

The Avalanche crew hears of the wedding and they are saddened it has to happen like this, Cloud pats Vincent on the back and tells him sorry, Vincent gets sad looks and he guesses everyone knows that they are fucking, though no one cares. How odd. Though maybe, just maybe, they simply don't know the half of it, don't know that Vincent never promised Yuffie anything and that he has selfishly used her, made her his replacement, has made her be part of this game of cat and mouse.

That night, Vincent finally cries, though it's only a tear. He doesn't dream of long brown hair that night, he dreams of black hair reaching to the shoulders now and large grey eyes. The next night, it's back to dreams of brown again.

"You promised me a virgin, not a slut!" screams Yuffie's suitor and Godo is shocked and Yuffie kneels and says not a word. The suitor is standing and waving his hands around, "The examiner tells me she isn't a virgin!"

"A girl can appear to not be one if active, my daughter is a hero to us, she saved our planet, do you not think she has had her fair share of activity?"

"He's not lying," Yuffie finally murmurs, "I'm a whore. I slept with a man before marriage." and without a word, without hardly looking at her, Godo hits her, he hits her repeatedly and the suitor leaves and Godo leaves red angry marks that will turn purple, he has the guards whip her and, finally, he disowns her.

Yuffie returns to Vincent, sobbing, though she never tells why and Vincent never asks, just takes her to bed and makes love to her, the first time it's ever happened, before it was fucking and sex. It's the least he can do and his mind is all jumbled because sometimes he dreams of brown hair and another night, black. Her body is covered in lash marks and bruises and Yuffie cries through the whole thing. She tells him she loves him. He kisses her forehead and tells her he knows and that he'll try, he'll try.

He fails.

Yuffie vomits a lot now, she's getting skinny, well, skinnier than before. She doesn't live with Vincent, she's gone back to Tifa temporarily, working at the bar. Yuffie feels dizzy a lot, she gets sick more than she cares to, and sometimes she gets nervous when she doesn't get her gift for the month. She tells Vincent, after not seeing him for a month, that she thinks she's pregnant. He frowns.

Vincent doesn't touch her for a week. Hardly even looks at her.

Vincent it pleased when she gets her period, though she doesn't come to him, she screams, she tells him she's sick and tired and he never tried, never even once. He apologizes though they both know it isn't sincere. He tried though and she seems grateful for that, though she cries and, really, she's gotten so skinny that she's hardly even skin and bones anymore.

The rest of Avalanche, he knows, are worried, for even though she acts cheery towards them and is always laughing, sometimes she messes up, sometimes she cries in front of them, she's a mess and everyone knows it. It is, for this reason, perhaps, why Tifa decides a party is in order and in just a few weeks, it happens.

"I just want you to care." the answer hangs and Yuffie feels so weak, she hasn't eaten all day, can't stomach it, and yet she feels like vomiting still. The others are outside partying. Yuffie starts crying again, "Damn it, Vincent!" and he holds her and she cries harder, "You won't even try! I'm dying! You're killing me! You're killing me!"

And Vincent says nothing for he knows it is the truth.

"Do you love me?" she finally asks and she wipes away the tears and they are replaced, she keeps repeating this cycle and Vincent releases her. She looks up at him, pleadingly, "Even just a little?"

Vincent doesn't know, "I dream of you, sometimes." he says, and she snorts. "Sometimes instead of her, I've dreamed of her for years, since I met her." Vincent looks away now.

"Look at what you're doing!" she shouts and the sounds outside are starting to quiet, "You're killing me!" he looks at her. He is.

"You chose this," he reminds her, "You can leave at any time." and he hates that he says this for Yuffie begins to sob more.

"How can I leave? How can I leave?" she shakes her head and runs out the door into the dying party, or maybe a party that's catching on.

Tifa finally steps in, "What's going on, Vincent." Vincent says nothing, "If you two want to be together, that's fine…" she shakes her head, "The party last night, you guys were in the back room for a while, I heard her shouting, what they hell Vincent, how long has this been going on?"

"A year," he answers honestly.

"Don't fuck with her, Vincent," Tifa warns, "Godo disowned her because of you, her life is ruined, do you care?" and he does, he really, truly does, though he looks up at the ceiling and he sighs before looking back, "I'm scared, Vincent." a shake of the head, "Really scared, I've never seen her like this. If you two have been together for a year now, how long has she been acting like this?"

"Half a year," Vincent replies.

"And I only just now noticed…" Tifa murmurs, and she looks sad, regretful. She looks Vincent in the eyes, "She's drinking a lot now, and she gets drunk with Reno, then she cries and vomits what little shit she has left in her stomach." she looks to the ground, "It's because of that woman, right?"

"Yuffie knew," Vincent replied, "she always knew." and he's defending himself and he feels like a child, but he can't help it, having the information thrown into his face is too much for him to handle, he doesn't want the guilt.

"I'm too afraid to leave her alone," Tifa carries on and she rubs her forehead, "I have someone with her always."

"I know," he replies, for he is watching her always too, he can't have his replacement die, he just can't.

"Vincent," Tifa looks to him, "I think, I think she should live with you for a while."

"I thought you'd say she shouldn't see me anymore." Tifa rubs her head more.

"I would say that if I wasn't positive that would be the decision that would make her truly slit her throat."

So Yuffie moves in with Vincent and everything seems to be going all right. At first, she had dismissed the idea with living with the demon-ridden man when Tifa first brought it up, she was afraid of smothering him until he left her completely. She's okay now though. She gets missions from Reeve and carries them out. She smiles more now, she laughs sometimes and she means it, and she can even eat a few meals a day without vomiting them all up.

Though sometimes she still cries, sometimes she still vomits up her half finished meal, sometimes she can't laugh, not even a fake one. Though it's better than before, much better, and Yuffie's okay with this, she can live with this.

Vincent doesn't touch her any more, not even once and it scares her, it scares her that at night when he sleeps on the couch and she the twin bed, scares her that he wont touch her, wont kiss her, wont let her kiss him. Vincent goes out some nights and doesn't return to the morning and she's fearful that he's done it, that he found a replacement.

Yuffie makes breakfast, Vincent makes lunch, and Yuffie makes dinner, though when either of the two are gone, the order goes out of whack and things don't end pleasantly. Yuffie's doing alright, he thinks. She doesn't cry much and she doesn't vomit nearly as much as before, in fact, she's finally putting on weight again, making up for the 10 or 20 pounds she lost, the dangerous weight before that he thought would be the end of her, would take her life.

Vincent doesn't touch her anymore, he's too afraid to, too nervous that she'll crumble right there, turn to clay, perhaps or dust. She seems to do alright without his touch, though he can't stand it. He leaves at night and finds women willing to fuck him, though it's not the same and Vincent wonders when he has decided to fuck women and not care who or how.

He's changed, he knows it, he's changed the minute Yuffie kissed him, when she decided the game was over and he wasn't too sure it ever ended. Yuffie knows it hasn't, though Vincent thinks she's winning. Then again, maybe not. He destroyed her life, she merely makes him dream of her on some nights. They aren't bad dreams, and most of the time he can't even recall what they were about, but the dreams scare him, makes him think he's betrayed the woman with brown hair.

One day, Vincent doesn't return to his apartment. She calls Reeve and he tells her that he never gave the demon man any missions. Yuffie feels worried, though she decides she's being silly, it's only a day. Though a week goes by, and then, a month, and Vincent hasn't returned and Yuffie realizes the game of cat and mouse has ended, because Vincent isn't coming back.

Lucrecia will always be here, and he will always be able to hear her voice, her murmurs, though nothing helps, she is a phantom, trapped and tangible, but she's dead and he stops dreaming of her all together, and Vincent realizes this game of cat and mouse between him and the woman, dead for years has finally come to a close and he knows she won ages ago.

Yuffie never tells anyone that Vincent has left though he's been gone for two months. She still carries on missions, sometimes she fucks a man or two, sometimes even women because fucking men just makes her feel vial. She sits in his bed when she doesn't have missions or when she doesn't want to have sex with strangers and she tries to dissect his scent from hers and the fabric cleaner.

She's gone back to not eating, she's not hungry, and when she forces herself to eat, she merely throws it back up. Sometimes she looks at the knives in the kitchen and wonders how they'd feel if they went straight through her, sometimes she considers jumping off buildings, sometimes she merely sits on the window ledge and hopes a large enough gust of wind will come.

It's scary, she scares herself, though she doesn't tell anyone, even when Tifa calls her up and tells her she is having a baby and, really, she wants to see Vincent and Yuffie again, though Yuffie only gives a fake laugh and tells the other woman that they'll see.

Sometimes she draws on the walls in paint because it doesn't matter if Vincent will get angry because she doubts he'll ever see it, doubts he'll ever return and it hurts, but she takes it in stride. She draws hearts, squiggles, hand prints, everything and anything because she doesn't care. Sometimes she takes objects from around the apartment and glues them to the walls for the hell of it. Because it doesn't matter. Vincent will never see what she's done to destroy this place and any and all memories within it.

Yuffie knows she could return to Tifa and Cloud, but there is no point to it, she doesn't want their pity and nothing will take the pain away. Ever.

Vincent finally returns to Kalm, he enters his apartment and feels his skin crawl in anger. She's defaced it, drew on the walls and stuck things to them such as bags and pictures and phones. Odd things that he had no idea how or why she's done as such. He walks past the small living room into his room, though she's not there. He calls for her, but she doesn't answer.

Vincent finds her in the bathroom, she's on the floor and he thinks she's past out, though when he rolls the ninja over, he knows she's stopped breathing, she's in a pool full of her own vomit. Vincent leaves the room, he makes a few calls though he knows nothing will help.

Turns out she passed out finally, not enough sustenance in her body, turns out she vomited but was so weak she couldn't get up and, in the end, she suffocated in the filth. A funeral is held, and even Godo attends and he cries because, even though he disowned her, it's still his little girl, his little dead girl. Tifa tries to attack Vincent, shouting over and over again "It's all your fault! You did this! You killed her, you killed her!" and even Cloud has no hopes in restraining her.

The guilt hits him hard, the guilt he's been piling up for a year and a half spills out. He used her, she knew it, he fucked her, she let him, he held her, gave her fake dreams, she accepted it. Vincent was never strong enough to push away, to act like an actual adult. He feels horrid, feels his insides scream and his inner demons cackle as Tifa's words circle his mind.

Cid shows up sometimes and looks at the walls Yuffie had desecrated, Cid even sheds a tear or two and murmurs about a stupid brat who had her whole life ahead of her, though he never blames Vincent, though Vincent knows, deep down, that everyone blames him, and he doesn't mind it, he knows it's true. It's his fault.

"Sometimes, I hate you." he can hear her say in his mind, and he doesn't blame her, not even once, he wants her to hate him, even in those days when she told him she loves him or when she fucked him, or when she made him dream of her. Vincent wants her to hate him, even after death, though he knows she doesn't that she never did.

He can't die, but he wishes he could, and perhaps, if he put enough heart in it, he could die, he could make it happen, though he doesn't try hard enough. His heart is gone, though where it has ran off to, he doesn't know, all he knows is that it's not coming back.

Sometimes, the game of cat and mouse still runs in his head and he thinks of black hair and hazel eyes and a frame that is slowly deteriorating and eyes that speak of sadness, eyes that try to be happy. Vincent can hear her laugh sometimes and he can see her pose in his mind and sometimes, he thinks he loved her, but he's not sure.

Though in the end she's dead so he supposes it doesn't matter much.

The game of cat and mouse has ended, and he knows there's been a draw.