A/N: Effing f***ing fluff. I want Dark, Bleak and Dreary....

'Muse, we´ll be having words...

'I own your skinny arse you cyclothymic poofter'

'Shit! She's a legilimencer too!'

'I'm inside your head you asswipe, why would I need sodding legilimency for, you dumbshit!'

-sets the M-16 in the stand, telescopic scope in place-

Cackling wildly, the pure veneer of insanity burning in her eyes, she throws an apple at me which I promptly catch.

'Now put that atop that shitty vacuum space you call a head along with a sticking charm.'

'Huh?'

'I want to play William Tell, Modern Warfare version. Get on with it!'

'Mummy....'

Blah – Normal Speech

'blah' – Thoughts

blah – inner pervert

Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing, save my insanity. I'll give that to you for free though. What? But it's free, come here! IT'S FREE GODDAMNIT!

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It wasn't going well.

After rescuing her parents back in Australia and restoring their memories Hermione never thought it'd be this hard. Reconciliation was a bitch.

It was in that atmosphere that while visiting Harry and the Weasleys at the Burrow she was surprised to see both of her parents arrive in their BMW. Few muggles could pass the wards erected here, but as Hermione's parents they were allowed. They were in a rough patch, but she didn't really expect her parents would go to such extremes as to drive all the way from London to northern England in Ottery St. Catchpole looking for her.

It was a nice weather that day and they were all having a late lunch outside. They all saw the car approaching and quickly stood up to greet the visitors, even if unexpected ones.

Harry knew the difficult phase his best friend was going through and he more or less guessed what her parents were going to do right now. The look in their faces told everything, as long as one was ready to realize them.

"Greetings all" said a very curt Mr. Granger, "but we've come to fetch our daughter, I'm sure you all understand".

Hermione was a jumble of emotions. On one hand she was happy that her parents were alive and healthy, even if she had to go so such lengths as to obliviate them and send them away to another continent. On the other, she wasn't as happy as she thought she should be. Her parents simply didn't understand her anymore. She was already trying her very best to be able to be a part of both, muggle and wizarding worlds. She would never relinquish her family but it seemed that her parents weren't too keen to offer the same sympathy. The fact that she was also of age for the wizarding world and even more so in the muggle one seemed to be entirely dismissed by her parents.

Ever the polite woman, Hermione stood up quietly.

"If you could please give me a moment, I need to talk with my parents."

They all took the hint and, since they were all standing already anyways, went inside the house to fetch some good old Drambuie. Harry did so with a bit of hesitation. He had a feeling that this talk would be a rather important one, one that he thought he wouldn't like the outcome one bit. Grudgingly, he accompanied the Weasley's retreat and settled for some tea while the others drank the syrupy liqueur.

Hermione got close to her parents at last, after checking that there was no one in the vicinity, and cast an imperturbable ward along with a silencio so they wouldn't risk being overheard.

"Well Mum, Dad, what did you want to talk about?"

"The time for talking has long passed little lady" Her father retorted angrily, "We've come to fetch you, we are going home today and we will be moving, as a family, tomorrow, to a new place."

Hermione studied her dad's countenance for a moment. He was in a right state which meant that he would not listen to anything contrary to what he wanted. Her mother was unusually subdued. 'She doesn't know how to feel about what I did' Hermione deduced after giving her mum a similar, appraising look.

"Well, I'd be more than willing to help you both move, but where to?" She was fishing for information and time, she knew. Above that, she knew that her parents knew what she was doing of course, but if they did, they showed no indication.

"I don't think you quite got it Hermione" her father began, "but we are all moving, no exceptions. As to the place, it is conveniently far away from this madness". He finished while pointing rather harshly towards the Burrow.

"I quite got it father" 'Rude I can take, but condescending too? See how he likes it then!' "You are under the pretense that I am going to move with you as well, which I can assure you, isn't going to happen."

"Ah come off it! Now you are going to spout the adult nonsense too I suppose?" Mr. Granger said, incensed.

"As long as you behave like a child, father, I have no desire to speak with you whatsoever. Yes, I am an adult now, but it means nothing as far as your moving goes, and even if I were a minor, I wouldn't be joining you this year."

"Hermione", his voice was cold as steel now "if you don't get in that car right now, we are going away and it'd mean that I have lost a daughter. Please think carefully."

Hermione was surprised to say the least, but she refused to be intimidated, She met far more stubborn people in her life and here was her own father, threatening her into an impossible position. Either she'd go with her parents to God knows where and lose all contact with her friends. 'The Weasleys I can handle, they are great friends but I wouldn't die inside if I had to go away. But Harry...' She knew right at that moment that she would never be able to leave her best friend behind. Not after the many things they went through. Not with what she just now understood.

'I can't live without him...' She mused to herself. Merlin! She'd been so stupid! 'I love him!'

Eyes glistening with unshed tears, she was about to reply to her parents when the object of her affection suddenly broke her carefully erected wards.

Startled by his intrusion, and considering that he was already in the brink of a choleric meltdown, Mr. Granger exploded.

"You took our daughter away and now you rob us of privacy as well!" He had to be physically restrained by his wife at that point.

Harry carefully appraised the man in front of him. He saw a father, desperate to preserve his family. He knew that this fear he had was irrational but it would be very hard to convince the man. Above that, the man had to know that he was hurting his own daughter with an effectiveness that a death eater would be hard pressed to meet. But of course he could hurt her a lot a more, he was her father, someone that Hermione absolutely adored.

Taking a deliberately long amount of time to reply as if composing his thoughts to go out the best way he could phrase them, Harry spoke.

"Sir, to this day I've killed more than a hundred people. I've seen some of my closest friends die, entire families to be honest. That tone won't work with me, and will not work with your daughter as well. And while we are on that subject, respect is given in the same manner and portion as it is granted so please control yourself."

"You think you intimidate me you little punk! Just because you have a magic stick and can do whatever the hell you want with that piece of wood? I dare you to do anything with it against me and my family!"

"You know... The last person that sung that tune was consumed in a fire so brutal that there was nothing left for our police to find out." Harry said, giving Hermione an amused grin as if he was referring to some fact that only the two of them knew about.

He was met by a furious legilimency message from Hermione "You're not helping Harry! Please don't make this any harder!"

"In case you are wondering, Hermione set that fire." He said, all the while chuckling at the flabbergasted expressions on both Grangers.

"However, you are here to try and preserve your family, while at the same time being incredibly mad at Hermione for having obliviated both of you, am I right?"

"Of course, how would you feel if your own child erased your memories of the past seventeen years of your life? How could you withstand..."

"Grateful." Harry said in a heartbeat. "If there is one muggle proverb that is mostly correct in all this, is this one: Ignorance is bliss. Hermione loves you both very much and she spared you from untold terror and an entire war. All that you need to know is that she is fine, physically at least, and both of you didn't spend two years worrying over something that you could do absolutely nothing about."

He made to retreat but not before having his final remark on the subject.

"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, all your daughter needs is her family to love and support her, no matter what. She is, today, not only the brightest" he looked deeply into Hermione's eyes 'I love you, you know that?' "but also the strongest witch in our generation. She is ready for this world she's in right now, and with what we've seen in the war, sir, you can't really impress anyone here. The only thing you are doing is breaking your family further apart. Please don't do that, for your family's sake."

He turned his back to the Grangers. "I also have about half a billion pounds in my bank account, so resorting to money threats is pretty useless as I'd give her pretty much all I own."

Hermione' brain, meanwhile, was still in the processing mode. He loved her. He just told her, and using legilimency no less, a skill he absolutely sucked unless the situation was extreme... That he came here for her was a given, but the intensity in his eyes when they locked with hers was staggering. There was only one thing left to do of course.

"Excuse me for a moment, I just need to do something that can't wait I'm afraid." she said to her parents.

Turning back to see the slowly retreating form of one Harry James Potter. They needed to talk and, Merlin help her, they'd talk now.

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Meanwhile, inside the Weasley household, one topic was being discussed with a frenzy rarely ever seen amongst the numerous redheads. Said redheads were all squeezing each other in the only window that led to the garden where the current "action" was taking place.

"Ok Fred, pay up."

"Oh and why would I do that dear sister of mine?

"Just... look at them! They are going to snog any minute now, pay up."

"Dear, sweet Ginevra..." upon hearing her god forsaken name the smallest of all redheads drew her wand and trained it right between the eyes of her soon-to-be batbogeyed brother, "... erm, Ginny, Fred and I both made conditional bets that offset each other. I bet they would become a couple while visiting today..."

"...while I, the eternally handsomest twin, George, explicitly bet that they couldn't NOT become one. So yes, they may snog...."

"...but according to the rules, as you well know, a bet encompassing another bet subsumes said bet and renders it void, should the encompassing condition occurs. Your only chance to win...."

"...in this present case,..."

"...dear sister, is for them to snog and...

"...NOT become a couple!"

"But... but you hustled me!"

Both twins nodded enthusiastically.

Krakatoa-Ginny was in the first stages of a full fledged eruption, fumes could be seen circling her features already. Alas, her pyroclastic cloud was momentarily detained as Mt. Etna Weas... erm, Molly Weasley came thundering from the kitchen, obviously having heard everything. Her lungs once more attested to her volcanic-worthy volume.

"How can you all be so irresponsible of other's people's feelings! How can you bet on your friends' love life! I taught you all better than that!"

Needless to say, much like after the eruption of a volcano, the lava turns commonplace and the same could be said of Etna-Weasley's rant. Tuning their lovely mother out after the first syllables the siblings were ready to restart their debate concerning the Weasleys' betting philosophy as the Patriarch of the Weasley clan made his presence known in the living-room.

"Now Molly, there's no need to create such a fuss. I'll handle them, after all, this family knows" he paused, giving both the twins and Ginny a withering glare "that betting, in this house, is not appreciated."

Molly seemed to deflate a little after that and returned to the mince pies, after all, they wouldn't make themselves.

Mr. Weasley circled his offspring in the living room all the while keeping an eye on his lovely wife. A few moments later, he extended his hand towards the twins and Ginny.

"Ok lads and lady, pay up."

"Hey!"

"No, your bet didn't..."

"Dad!"

"My bet specifically stated that there would be turmoil today that would make either Harry or Hermione or both, cry just before they'd become a couple. The rules, after all, state that a bet encompassing another bet subsumes said bet and renders it void should the encompassing condition occurs. "

The twins blanched and mini-krakatoa defused completely, smiling brightly all they way up to her room. She lost, but seeing the twins having their arses handed to them so underhandedly was cause for joy indeed!

"Oi Dad, how come you can bet and say" Fred began

"... that betting isn't appreciated in this house?" George ended.

Mr. Weasley sighed, a tiny spec of disappointment could be detected, but not much.

"Lads, the whole betting took place in the garden, before Harry and Hermione arrived, not in the house."

"And we Weasley's don't appreciate simplistic betting, of course. Why, they're no fun at all!" He patted both twins' in their shoulders and left to assist Molly. Her mince pies were to die for after all.

It was a rare, but very precious moments for the twins. They were bested but had to grant it to their old man: he was damn good! It was nice having such a cool dad.

Ronald Weasley was oblivious to all that, of course. He had to beat his personal score of 17.7 scones a minute and the humongous pile of those that his mother callously left in the living-room was the perfect stimulus for another attempt at record breaking.

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Harry didn't want to tremble, he really didn't. He cursed once more his little to non-existent self-control whenever Hermione Granger touched him. He immediately stopped once he felt her small hands touching both shoulders, only for them to fall on his arms as he swiveled to meet her face.

Hermione, for her part, wasn't faring much better. The meager fifteen yards that separated her from her previous spot and the absolutely gorgeous man in front of her were enough for the tears to start. She did try to control them, of course, but it was Harry. Cool headed, logical, bookwork, insufferable know-it-all Hermione went along with a herd of Tanzanian Wildcats whenever Harry Potter was concerned.

Both teens, a few inches apart were in an intense staring match, breathing irregularly.

Calmly, far calmer than both teens were feeling at that moment, Hermione's voice broke the palpable tension that seemed to stifle the air all around the Burrow.

"Harry James Potter...

'Bugger, she had to go for full names now... I buggered up royally didn't I?'

Ya, ye did you imbecile.

"... you can't just say to a girl that you love her, using legilimency no less, and just up and leave!"

He heard the words but normally they would be accompanied by a furious face, flushed with righteous anger. Instead all the words were incredibly soft and held no malice or subterfuge that he could detect. Not that he would of course, his occlumency was piss poor anyways. He prided himself in knowing every little mood change in his best friend and secret love interest though. The fact that he couldn't make anything out of this disturbed him greatly.

'Shit! Double shit! She was still using legilimency on me when I thought that!.... Goodbye manly bits, it was good having you for however short a time...'

Ye idiot, just kiss her already, and make it a good one Potter!

'Shut up!'

Instead of answering or replying anything, since what Hermione phrased was more an admonishment than a question, Harry decided then and there that he would do what he did best. He'd winged the spermicide defective aberration that was Tom Riddle. He would just go with his gut instinct. Well, with his mouth and tongue, not his gut. Bowel related activities were the specialty of Ron "Trashcan" Weasley after all.

Emerald orbs were avidly searching her face, every contour, every tiny spec of gold in her deep chocolate eyes. He glanced down a bit to see her pert nose, so perfect in all respects, and so Hermione's. Perfectly proportioned, not too round, not too pointy. Just perfect. Finally, his gaze descended to her mouth, the rosy lips he craved for so long now. They were an intense red, proof that, once again, she had been biting her bottom lip. She always did that when she was nervous and he loved it. He loved all of it, all of her.

He swiftly raised a hand to caress her face and wipe away the tears that insisted to fall and mar her beautiful face. Both teens smiled, a small one, just for themselves, one full of promises. Both, completely entranced, drifted towards one another, ever so slowly, and finally, after years of longing, their mouths fused in unadulterated bliss, shortly followed by their tongues. The appendages didn't battle for dominance. They searched one another, tentatively, curiously. The featherlight brushes of one against the other were enough to convey the message. Two companions, partners in everything else and now, once more, partners in this uncharted, but wonderful territory called love.

"I guess I should've just kissed you then, right" he whispered, right after that wonderful first kiss.

"Yes, you should've you big oaf!" she was crying and smiling at the same time. "My big oaf." That's all it took for the snog session to resume. They were utterly ensnared in each others' embrace, the world itself a mere passerby, just there to bear witness and nothing more.

"I need to go back and talk to my parents" she said after a while "you just stay here ok, we need to talk as well." strengthening herself, she went on to drill some sense in her parents. She wouldn't leave her friends. Above all, if things worked, she wouldn't leave Harry. Ever.

A/N.2: This little PWP, saccharine to the infinity one-shot came to me in one sitting while I was trying to get some headway in a story that features a Grey!Harry. No matter what I did, all thoughts came back to fluff. Now that this is out of the system (and my muse stopped playing william tell with M-16's) I hope to be able to get my focus back. In any case, I hope you enjoy this and not flame me too much.