Title: There's No Such Thing as a Hot Grandpa

Summary: Grandpa, an old man who is two generations older than you and turns up to family events smelling of tobacco and scotch. Doesn't really describe Edward does it? It will now. Follow Edward and his fifteen year old make their way through life as patterns of family history begin to repeat themselves.

Rated: M because well we're going to be talking about making babies here!

Pairings: EXB and RX? Everything will be clearer in the end.

Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are those created by Stephanie Meyer, but Dylan is all mine people!

It is with great sadness that I write this epilogue.

But for me this story has come full circle.

This may seem a little weird but in this itself tells the story of how I came up with the idea for this fic. I know your all grabbing your hankies but I promise not to make this too sad.

Lastly this will be entirely from Edward's point of view this was his story so he's gonna finish it.

Edward

Five years later

My car just had to choose today to die didn't it?

"Okay, I've got one, two, three and four?" I said counting heads.

"Yes Dad; Hey can we get off a Mc Donald's? I'm starving." Dylan asked as we waited for the bus.

"Dylan, give me ten minutes to figure out which one is the right bus and then we'll talk about food ok?" I asked scanning the time table "Right the next one is in ten minutes"

"Gampy I'm cold" Danny said putting his hands on top of his forearms.

"Dylan put his coat on him will you, I need to get the rain cover over the stroller so Jr doesn't get wet" I told him.

Bet your wondering who the hell Jr is?

Well... let's just say if you're getting a vasectomy wait until your doctor gives you the all clear to have unprotected sex.

I remember that day well.

"Edward we need to talk about something" Bella said sitting me down on the bed.

"Is there something wrong Baby?" I asked.

"I just don't know how you're going to take this but before you flip out you kinda got to let me explain"

"Okay" I said confused. "Go on" I said.

"When you got your vasectomy you were given this pamphlet yes?" she asked picking a pamphlet up of the dresser.

"Yeah or one similar, why?" I asked.

"Can you read the part I highlighted?"

"Sure" I said unsure as I opened up the pamphlet. "Side effects, should the procedure be preformed accurately you will now be sterile and free to take part in unprotected sex without fear of impregnating your partner, after you are given the go ahead from your doctor" I read. "Bella I don't see what's going on?"

"When you took so long to recover from the procedure the minute you felt better we both kinda... got a bit carried away and we never checked if you were in the clear or not" She explained.

"Meaning?" I asked.

"I'm pregnant"

"You're joking right?" I asked, smirking a bit, she knew how to joke with the best of them.

"No Edward, I'm not kidding" She said handing me an envelope. I opened it and pulled out a piece of paper.

I looked down to see they were lab results and then a sonogram print fell out.

"How far along are you?" I asked.

"Three and a half months" She said biting her lip.

"We're having another baby?" I asked her and she nodded. I leaned over and kissed her, she pulled back looking shocked.

"You're happy about this?" she asked.

"Yeah pretty ecstatic" I told her.

"You're not mad" She said though it sounded like a question.

"No" I told her. "Who knows maybe we'll get a boy this time?" I said.

"We'd better or Dylan's gonna send it back" She said before leaning in and kissing me again.

So that's how we got our little Edward Antony Cullen Jr. I had protested over the name but Bella filled out the birth certificate while I was asleep.

"Daddy up" Sophia, my little Princess, called and I turned around to see her holding her arms to me; luckily I had gotten the cover on the stroller to cover Jr. When the bus pulled up I got Dylan to lead the two four year olds onto the bus while I dragged the stroller up the ramp.

"Kids go free" The driver said smiling at the four of them.

"Thanks" I said paying for myself.

I looked around and saw two empty seats, then one behind them.

"Right Dylan you take Danny and Sophia on the double free and I'll put the stroller in the aisle beside me on the seat behind." I told him knowing we would be on the bus for over an hour at this stage because of the traffic.

I quickly got them seated and sat down beside a girl who looked to be in college balancing tonnes of books on her knee.

"It's okay if I sit here yeah?" I asked her pointing to the kids.

"They are all yours and you're not some paedophile right?" she asked.

"Mine, mine, my daughters and mine" I said pointing at the respective kids.

"You have a grandkid?" she asked before covering her mouth. "Totally inappropriate don't mind me" She said.

"No I don't mind. Yeah I do" I told her.

"Wow, you don't look old enough if I'm being honest"

"I'm not" I told her when Jr started crying in the stroller. "Come on Buddy" I said lifting him out, I felt my phone vibrating as I did. "Hello?" I said picking it up not even looking at the caller ID.

"Rose just said your car died? Where are you?" Bella asked.

"On the bus" I told trying to shush Jr.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked sounding worried.

"He's hungry and verbal communication is a distant flicker?" I asked.

"Well I suppose he is only one and a half, soon we won't be able to get him to shut up" Bella said and I laughed.

"Don't I know it too well, I'm going to get them Mc Donald's on the way home and get Ness to pick up Danny from there you pick up me and our three?" I asked.

"I suppose I can't abandon my children" She sighed.

"Not because you love me or whatever" I said.

"Well there's that. I'll see you later" She told me.

"Love you" I told her.

"Love you too Honey" She said before hanging up.

I put my phone away and thankfully Jr had quit crying.

"You are your wife are sickly sweet" The girl I was sitting beside said.

"How do you know that wasn't my bit on the side?" I asked her.

"You don't look like the type" She said with a smile.

"Well thanks" I said.

"So how many kids do you have?" she asked obviously trying to make conversation the bus had barely moved from the stop we had gotten on so it was going to be awhile.

"Um I have five. I had my first daughter when I was fifteen then I adopted my wife's daughter and son and then we had a daughter and a son together." I explained.

"Ah" She said. Finally the bus got moving properly and soon my time on the bus was almost over.

"So then this guy just up and proposes to her?" bus girl whose name I never bothered to ask stated.

"Yeah pretty much" I said.

"And you let him?" she asked.

"My wife's water broke I was a bit preoccupied"

"Ah" She said nodding. "So they got married yeah?"

"Yeah about a year ago"

"And she's not pregnant yet?" she asked.

"No I've told them they better graduate before they give me anymore grandbabies" I told her.

"Fair enough" She said when the bus pulled up at our stop.

"Nice talking to you"

"You too" She said waving away before scribbling something down on the front pages of her book. I leaned down to grab my coat and saw the word hot and something beginning with g... hmm. "Bye" She said with a wave.

I got off the bus pushing the stroller and counting kids, much like I did every day. Bella was waiting inside as was Ness, Bella obviously telling her. Lela and Jake would be here in a couple of minutes.

Never in a million years did I think when Victoria got pregnant that my life would ever work out in my favour, so it was pretty shocking to see it had.

Smirking at Bella with the eyes that just about begged for sex tonight which she returned with a smirk of her own made me just ever so slightly rethink my previous thoughts about being a grandpa.

Maybe there was such thing as a hot grandpa?

Bella winked at me and slid her hand in my back pocket giving my right ass cheek a squeeze.

I was definitely rethinking it.

THE END

About the random girl on the bus. That's suppose to portray yours truly, you see I was sitting on the bus one day and got in a very similar conversation with this guy that random bus girl got into with Edward.

Sorry to anyone who's inbox got spammed while I reposted this!

Love The Irish Cullen.