AU set during the Triward Tournement.

The door to the Headmaster's office slammed opened and in rushed Albus Dumbledore followed by a hobbling Alastor Moody. Albus made a beeline for his stash of fire whiskey. He didn't even bother pouring a glass, he slammed back the large bottle.

Alastor (who is really Barty Crouch Jr.) watched on as the old man gulped the alcohol. A moment later he slammed down an empty bottle.

The fireball he launched out his mouth was huge. His phoenix was proud.

"Alastor my old friend, we are so beyond fucked it is not humorous in the least." Dumbledore fell on his ass. He started crawling towards his desk.

"Why? You don't know where Potter is?" Alastor asked. Potter's name had come out of the Goblet of Fire earlier that evening. It shocked everyone there, as Harry Potter was not a student at Hogwarts. Everyone had expected him to show up three years prior, but he hadn't. Dumbledore told everyone that Harry had decided on a different course of education rather then attend Hogwarts. Albus had always been very vague about the subject. So much so that many questioned whether or not the old wizard actually knew where the brat was.

"I don't know exactly where Harry is this minute. But I have been in communication with the boy for the past three years. And can get ahold of him." Albus pulled himself up into his chair behind his desk. Barty stood across the desk from him. "It's not bringing the boy here that's the problem, it's having him here."

"I would have figured you would have preferred the Potter boy here, under your watchful eye?"

"I had that very intention. Until I met the boy when he turned 11." Albus pulled a very large bong out of his desk. Barty was shocked at the old man's behavior, but as Moody, he couldn't react. He figured this was how the old coot acted in private, and Moody would be used to it. "As you recall, I left Harry with his aunt and his uncle." Barty didn't know that, but he gave a quick nod of acknowledgment. "It seems that when the boy was about five years old, his family left young Harry in New York City."

Albus stopped talking as his lit up his multi colored magic bong. His one exhale filled the room. Fawkes let off a very relaxed sounding chirp. Barty started to feel funny himself, but he was able to keep himself composed.

"When Harry was to receive his Hogwarts letter, I discovered he had be misplaced and had to track him down. I tracked him to the home of Stephen Strange." Barty gave no reaction to the name. "He is the current Sorcerer Supreme." That made the spy's eyes go wide. All of the sudden, he didn't like where this was going. "Some how, young Harry came into his custody a few years before. Stephen adopted and took Harry on as his student."

"So, the brat's powerful for his age? He would need that to keep up with the other three."

""If that were the case, I wouldn't be so distressed. When I met with Stephen and Harry, I sensed how powerful Harry had become, and realized he wouldn't fit in at Hogwarts. I asked if I could keep in contact with the two of them, keep in touch in regards to Harry's education. I really wish I hadn't." Albus took another huge toke from his magic bong.

"Why not?" Albus exhaled, raising the THC level in the entire room.

"Harry has had a number of teachers, and access to sources of knowledge thought long lost or even mythic." Barty sat down. That was kind of heavy. As was his body. He was starting to feel kind of warm.

"What?"

"Harry met Victor Von Doom through their mutual belief that one Reed Richards is 'the world's biggest ass clown'. Victor took a liking to Harry, and decided to have a hand in Harry's education." Barty had heard of Victor Von Doom. He was one of the few Dark Wizards his Master refused to cross, or even have anything to do with. Some thought their master afraid, but those fools didn't realize their master just respected an equal,. The Dark Lord didn't want to waste the resources to prove who was more powerful. "When Harry was nine, he pulled a prank on someone else he think too highly of." Potters were famous for their pranks. "He somehow got ahold of the Hammer of Thor, and modified it's enchantments."

"WHAT THE FUCK?" screamed Barty in his head. That couldn't be right.

"What are you talking about Albus? There's no way a boy his age could have done such a thing."

"I don't' know how he did it. But from what I was told, he modified the Hammer's requirements to also include a great deal of humility. A trait I can understand the higher gods wanting him to have. However, it seemed the thunder god was a bit lacking. From the stories told, the Norse God Loki nearly peed himself when he learned of Harry's prank. He took a great deal of interest in Harry. Mr. Potter has spent a great deal of time learning Arcana from Loki in Asgard. "

Barty fell into his seat.

"Fuck. How powerful is this kid?"

"How powerful would you say the kid is?" He asked. He had to know. His master needed to know.

"I'm fairly confident that Harry would qualify for the Omni Law. Harry's accomplishments are those out of myths. I haven't even begun to tell you that which even I know, let alone all that he's actually done." Albus seemed kind of sad at that. "Fortunately for us, just about everyone who even knows about that law is somehow associated with the Tournement, so I doubt anyone will be in a rush to kick him out of the country before the end of the Triwizard."

The Omni Law was a very obscure law that was usually only known to those in either highest power, or are the most powerful. The Omni Law basically banishes all magical beings above a certain power level from the Wizarding world. The purpose of this law was to keep the influence away from beings beyond their control or ability to do anything to. If knowledge of Tom's Horcuxes had ever gotten out, there's a good chance that he would be considered for this law. The magic that enforced this law was extremely powerful, it had to be for the very nature of it.

It was ironic, because it had been Barty's father who had pushed for submitting the Dark Lord to be judged under the Omni Law. Everyone else involved agreed that Riddle didn't qualify. He was powerful, yes. But a great deal of his power laid in how he manipulated people and their fears. His magical power was that on level with Dumbledore, and no one ever thought about submitting the old man.

"And besides the Omni Law, there's another political nightmare involved with bringing Harry back." Albus dropped this bombshell as he dropped another large hit. "The Goblins named Harry 'Goblin Enemy'."

"How the fuck did that happen?" Barty barked from the chair he was barely keeping himself up in.

"Harry broke the golden enchantment." Barty shat himself.

The golden enchantment was the enchantment that goblins put on all currency. The enchantment prevented the gold from being manipulated by magic, and made it so muggles believed it to be iron pyrite. This prevented wizards from selling it in the muggle world. The only way to keep the exchange rate from destroying the Wizarding economic world was to prevent goblin gold from being sold on the muggle market. After all, the amount of gold in one galleon was worth much much more then 5-10 pounds (depending on how agitated the exchange teller was.)

For a wizard to be able to break that enchantment would have a lot of power and a lot of enemies.

"Of course, very few outside of the Goblin nation know that Harry did this. From what I understand, Harry went about doing this because the bank refused to turn his entire family vault into muggle money. He turned his trust vault into a multi billion dollar communications company. The goblins confiscated his family vault shortly after. Harry thinks it was worth it. He doesn't think much of 'those freaky Yoda wanna bees'." Albus was in a stoned haze, more talking to himself than anyone there.

Barty sat there and listened because he needed to know, and he was to terrified to move. He didn't know who was going to fuck him up more, his master when he tells him everything he learns. Or the Potter kid if he ever learns it was him who got him involved in the whole mess.

"He won't tell me how he did it. When I asked him, he told me to go read the Bard. My guess is that he used some sort of ancient magic that is the basis for one of our children's stories. I don't know which one. I know it's not the three brothers. Very sure of that."

Barty had no idea what the old man was babbling about now, and decided to take his leave. He was sure that the old coot wouldn't notice his absence.

As the Death Eater spy wondered towards his quarters, he thought about what was going to happen when this super powered Harry Potter came to Hogwarts. Was he going to destroy every challenge in front of him with no problem? What was going to happen when he met the Dark Lord? Was he going to get into the panties of all the hot witches? Barty was glad he had the magic eye in the hopes of that one happening. He was going to have to keep a close eye on the boy. And hope he doesn't get caught.

He did.

THE END

A/N: Recovering from getting my wisdom teeth taken out. A bit medicated when I wrote this.

What do you think?