A Truth Better Hidden

A/N: This fic is set towards the end of X1, and is about what goes on through Xavier's mind just after probing Logan's mind. It's basically my explanation for why he didn't tell Logan about his past though he clearly knew more than he let on. Minor spoilers for X-men Origins: Wolverine

After hours of painstaking navigation of a shattered mindscape, Professor Charles Xavier finally had all the answers.

He now knew all there was to know about the mysterious man known as Wolverine.

Logan's memory had been severely damaged, perhaps irreparably, by the impact of the adamantium bullet on his skull. Through the bullets had not penetrated his indestructible skull, the trauma of the impact itself was sufficient to leave his mind a blank, with no recollection whatsoever of who or what he was. For nearly fifteen years he had wandered aimlessly, from the wilderness of Canada to the teeming cities of Japan, a lethal killing machine consumed by a berserker rage whose origins he could scarcely guess at; nor could he possibly fathom the painful and inhumane experiment which had lined his skeleton and his bone claws with adamantium. But the Professor could. And the Professor had all the answers Logan had been seeking for so long.

And having done that, the one question that loomed large in Xavier's mind was, What now?

He had made a deal with Logan. And Logan had more than fulfilled his part of it. And he expected his quid pro quo in return. Xavier understood that, and as soon as he had recovered from his semi-comatose state, he had invited Logan to his study and used all his power, as he had promised, to venture into his shattered mind and unravel the secrets of his past. And he had succeeded where Logan had often failed. All that was left now was to tell Logan the truth.

But dilemma Xavier now faced with was this: could he possibly bring himself to tell Logan about a past; a past so horrifying, so violent, so filled with death and deception that it could not possibly fail to drive him insane with guilt and self-loathing and regret. Could he tell Logan about how he killed his father as a young boy on the day his powers manifested? Or about the years and years he spent killing mercilessly on the battlefield? Could he tell him about his brother's betrayal of him, or about the death of the woman he loved? Could he tell Logan about how he agreed to let himself be turned into a killing machine simply in order to avenge her death by killing his brother? Or about how his lover's death was a machination from the very start, with she herself participating in the deception?

No, he couldn't. Xavier knew that whatever he had been in the past, Logan was a different man now. A better man with the prospects of a better future. A man who deserved to be free from the torments of his past. And yet, who was he to decide what was in Logan's best interests? Who was he to break the promise he'd made to the Wolverine?

It was an irresolvable dilemma and Charles Xavier ultimately decided to take the middle path. He told Logan about Stryker's base in Alkali Lake. If Logan found answers there by himself, the Professor hoped and prayed he would be able to come to terms with his past? If he didn't find answers...at least his, Xavier's conscience would be satisfied by the fact that he'd at least not mislead him completely, but instead had subtly lead him to a more peaceful life.

The fact remained that Logan's life was a truth better hidden. But somehow, a nagging feeling at the back of his mind seemed to indicate that in this case, the truth wouldn't be hidden for long...