How To Win Your Boyfriend Back

Let's Get Started

By the author of How To Be Gorgeous, How To Be Popular, and How To Fall In Love, comes a new book, written by experience. A guide on how to win your boyfriend back when he gets stolen by a bimbo. The target: Nick. The thing in the way: Penny. -NiLEY-

A/N: Haaaaii. Soo, this is a new story idea I've got. It's gonna be a funny type. I've never tried that, and it'll be a breath of fresh air from my other stories. I'm just posting the first chapter atm. Three stories is too much. I'll occasionally update, like once a month, till I've finished one of them. I reallly hope you guys like this idea :) P.S: I wasn't sure who Nick's fave band/Singer is, so I made it up, and put Radiohead.

- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -

Miley

Okay, so I haven't exactly lost him. And that big breasted bimbo hasn't exactly stolen him from me. He's still my boyfriend. Or claims to be anyway. But she's practically stolen him from me. He ignores me now. For her.

Now trust me, I'm not the aggressive type, but that girl... I wanna tear her head off. Seriously. Not that I'd be very successful or anything, but you know what they say. It's the thought that counts!

So you're probably wondering by now what he possibly could've done that would make me think I lost him. Well, let me fill you in on the details, my dear eager little ninjas. So get this, they met in one of those little, private music studios we have here in this school, while she was practising to play guitar. He was just too amazed at this, and he walked in and listened to her. They got to talking, and learnt they have all the same interests. How convenient. They both loving golfing, playing guitar, writing stupid-but-I-still-love-and-make-me-smitten songs, and Radiohead. Isn't that just perfect?

If you weren't smart enough to notice, from the words from so get this till the words that just perfect were all said in an extremely sarcastic tone.

Kay?

So as I was saying, they seem perfect for each other, in a totally sucks for me way. Which sucks for me. And if this wasn't enough... Nick wrote a song for her.

This sucks. I mean, I know he's written plenty of songs for me and everything, but I'm his girlfriend! He's supposed to write songs for me, it's practically job. And if that wasn't crushing enough, he wrote her a... brace yourselves... a love song.

Now, I was planning on questioning him about what the hell he was doing, and giving him the if-your-gonna-write-her-love-songs-then-why-don't-you-make-her-your-girlfriend speech, but then he'd wonder how I find out.

Because I kinda, sort of, spied on him. And he'd never ever ever forgive me if he found out. Because he'd accuse me of not trusting him. I do trust him. It's that bitch I don't trust.

And next week, they're going to see Radiohead together in concert. Sure, I've told him never to ask me because I hate them, but why did he have to ask her? They're practically going on a date.

Eww. Ugh. Gross.

So I've decided I'm going to get him back, whatever it takes. I'm not gonna let her have the satisfaction of stealing my boyfriend. He was mine first and I plan on keeping it that way. Just like I've done many times in the past, I've conjured up a step by step foolproof plan that will guarantee him back in my arms.

Take that Penny.

So, on to step one: Get implants.

I know, I know, it seems a little crazy and far fetched, but she has like ginourmous breasts. What if he likes that kind of thing? And if I have them too, then he'll think, 'why did I ever want her'?

See? It makes perfect sense.

So that's why I'm currently seated in my GP's, waiting oh so patiently for me to hurry the hell up, since I'm way more important than the rest of these fuckers.

Luckily my GP is a girl, so it won't be that mortifying and embarrassing. I'll just tell her I really want to get implants, I'm just stupid and I don't know how exactly. And so I came to her for advice. She'll understand perfectly fine.

"Miley Stewart." The middle aged secretary called out from behind her desk. She offered me a smile, patting her bobbed grey hair.

Sexy.

Okay, that was uncalled for. It's just there's so many old men with me in this waiting room, and she's old, and... you get the picture.

"Thanks." I returned her smile, to make it up for my crude comment. I knocked at the door with Dr Williams on the door.

"Hi Miley." She greeted me pleasantly as she opened up the door. "Take a seat." She nodded towards the chair opposite hers, with a barely visible desk drowning in paperwork between them.

After sitting down, I started my plan, and began to babble annoyingly fast. "Hi Doc, so your probably wondering why I'm here. Well I'll tell you why I'm here. You see, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I've decided that since I'm 17 now, I should do something completely irresponsible and spontaneous that I'll regret for the rest of my life. It took me a long time to think of something that fitted all these requirements, but I finally found one, and I need your help. You see, I wanna get implants, but I'm extremely stupid, as you already know, and I need your help on how to get them."

"Implants?" She asked in disbelief, crossing her arms against her chest. "Oh Miley, that's a really bad idea. You don't need implants." She shook her head in disappointment. "You know better than anyone that you have to accept who you are, and love the skin your in."

"But..." My face fell. I forgot how much like my mum she really is. That's probably why my mum loves her so much.

Oh shit. I forgot about my mum. If she finds out, I'm gonna be grounded till I'm 36. Maybe even 40.

"You know what? Your right, this is a stupid idea. Implants? God, what was I thinking?" I scoffed, standing up hurriedly. "Well, I gotta go, bye!"

I legged it out of there so fast, I think I just completed my exercise of the month.

And guess who I bumped into? No, bumped isn't the right word. The right word would be crashed.

"Miley?" My apparent boyfriend exclaimed, a smile appearing on his too-gorgeous face. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just passing by, and thought I'd drop in and say hi to my doctor, you know, because I haven't seen her in ages." I bluffed quickly, my cheeks warming up and probably turning beetroot red for two reasons. One, because I'm not a very good liar, and two, because my body is pretty much pressed up against his.

"Oh, okay." He nodded, indicating he didn't believe me but was gonna let it slip. This time, anyway. "Well I'm here because my sister had the most insane and stupid idea she's ever had." He chuckled to himself.

"And that is?" I asked.

"She wants to get implants." He emphasized on the last word, to show how ridiculous he though it was. "She reckons her boyfriend would like her better if she had them. Isn't that so stupid?"

Well I guess that's off the list.

My face turned even redder, most probably giving me away, and I stuttered out a reluctant "Yeah..."

"Your still coming over tonight, right?" He asked.

I almost forgot I was having dinner with his family tonight. Perfect for my next step, which will hopefully go a bit better than this one did.

"Yeah." I replied. "Well, I have to dash, I have things to do, but I'll see you tonight."

"I have to go too, back to the insane sister. See you later." He planted a chaste kiss on my lips before walking off.

Take that Penny.

- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -

So? Sorry it's kinda crap, I really rushed this. Did you like it? Hope you did. I'll try and update in like, three weeks. But I'll still be updating TPC. And maybe, just maybe, Just Breathe. But I'm not making any promises about that story. And I'd really like about 20 reviews, to carry on this story (: xx