Cartman frowned up at the twenty-story building. Trying to gather up the nerve to go inside.

Why was he even here?

Nothing – no one was worth a hundred plus mile drive especially not that filthy little jew rat.

.

.

.

The brown haired boy was still gazing up at the building lost in thought as dusk sat in, mind lost on the last day he saw the ginger Semite.

"So…" Cartman was walking next to Kyle. "Guess I finally get the joy of seeing you leave, huh fag?"

"Your just as much a fag as me! I mean Butters! Come on dude, that's pretty faggy."

Cartman opened his mouth to say something but closed it. "Ah didn't ask you out heah to fight Kahl."

"Oh?" Kyle pretended to be surprised. "What is it than?"

"We both know what's going on Jew!" They did. Both of them had been dancing around this for year.

"What fat ass? What the fuck do you think is going on?"

They stared at each other, Nazi staring at the Jew, opposites in every respect.

"Kahl… I lo-" Cartman's words where cut off with a punch to the stomach.

"Don't say it!" Kyle screamed, tears brimming in his eyes.

"Why? Cartman screamed, swinging his own fist, connecting with kyle's jaw. "It's true you filthy faggot!"

Kyle kicked Cartman in the arm, spitting blood from a busted lip at him as he screamed to drone out the overweight boys words.

Cartman dropped, swinging his legs and dropping the thin boy to the ground and pinning him to the ground. He captured the red heads lips in his and they kissed, each of them fighting for dominace over the other.

"Oh Kahl." Cartman moaned into his mouth.

Kyle didn't say anything just bucked against the fat tub of lard on top of him, needy kisses drawing Cartmans tong deeper into his mouth.

"Kahl I lov-"

"I don't wanna hear you say it!" Kyle screamed, biting down hard on the Arian's lip. Tears falling now as he flipped so he was on top.

"It- it'll hurt to much Cartman." He whispered, anger calming down even as a river poured over his flushed cheeks "I'm his now. You had your chance; you had your chance every day since we where kids and you fuckin' blew it every turn of the road. I'm leaving in two hours, I'm gone! I'm not gonna fuck up somethin' good for you suddenly realizing what the whole worlds known since we where effin' kids!"

Cartman looked up at the jew, tears of his own falling now.

"Fine." He choked out. "Fine Kahl. I don't wanna ruin it."

"Than what do you want?" He asked softly, sliding off of him into the snow.

"Once?" There eyes met as he said this and Kyle nodded, ignoring the sting as he bit his bleeding lip.

"You can't tell anyone."

"Never."

"Ok." He agreed.

The rest of the memory was a rush of nervousness and pleasure, of two broken harts melting the frigid snow, of falling tears and love shown in every way possible in such a short time except with words.

Eric sighed, finally gathering the courage to get out of his car. They where expecting him hours ago. He swallowed as he headed towards the apartment building.

What was there to be afraid of?

He was half way to the door when he saw them. The two of them came out of the apartment door and Cartman did the only thing he could. He hid.

Neither of them even looked his direction though. Kyle's thin face was focused on the ground, crimson locks hiding the brilliant green Cartman knew was under it.

They where fighting.

The ebony haired boy beside him looked furious, arms waving about animatedly.

Kyle must have said something he didn't like because his hand flew up, whacking him upside the head.

Cartman waited, eager for the fire, the fury he'd been dreaming about for twenty-four month but there was nothing.

The brunet watched in shock. Kyle kept his head down and silently picked up his hat. Something wasn't right. He didn't move just watched the two climb in the car and drive away.

A/N: What'd you think? Continue?

This story was inspired by four songs that happened 2 play back to back and will have 4 chapters, song one is :

"Say it" by blue october

It's all about steam
It's all about dreams
It's all about making the best out of everything
You'll know when your fine
Cause you'll talk like a mime

You'll fall on your face
You get back up and you're doing fine
"a considerate clown, a preachy preachy machine"
is one of the sweetest things you would say about me
but I don't have the time for your distorted esteem
why are you toying with my mind?

I don't wanna hear you say it
I don't wanna hear you say it
Now you're messing with my pride

You think you're smarter than me
Well everyone knows you will never be smarter than me
That's how it goes
I gained forty pounds because of you
Was there an "S" on my chest
Well I confess, you were too much stress
I'd have a heart attack at best
So now I breathe it out, I breathe it out
I spit it on the crowd cause they lift me up, they lift me up, they lift me up

When I'm feeling down
What am I spitting out? spitting out, something we never talk about
It's called my …mind

I don't wanna hear you say it
I don't wanna hear you say it
I don't wanna hear you say it
Now you're messing with my pride

I'm sick of standing in your line
So now you'll have to take it
take this to heart
I will never let you fuck me over
Stop talking down to me your war is old
your game is over
So here's my coldest shoulder

I don't wanna hear you say it
I don't wanna hear you say it
I don't wanna hear you say it
Now you're messing with my pride

Something we don't talk about
Something we never talk about