Chapter 35

"Is that the last one?" I asked as Edward walked through the door of my apartment with a box.

"Yep," he answered, smiling and adding the box to the pile in the center of the room.

The three weeks leading up to my move had passed at the speed of light. Everything blurred together. Edward was spending the weekend with me in order to help me get settled. I was already dreading our goodbye, loathing the idea of him not being accessible by a short drive.

He walked over and began massaging my shoulders. "Should we order pizza or something?"

I leaned into his hands, completely spent. "Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Let's just set up the bed tonight; the rest can wait."

He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. "I like the way you think." I turned around in his hold and met his eyes with mine.

"Well," I started, in a teasing tone. "You might not like it when my head hits the pillow and I'm instantly asleep."

He grimaced playfully, his head moving back. "That's exactly what I was thinking. Get your mind out of the gutter."

I laughed before reaching up with my lips to kiss him.

Thirty minutes later the bed was set up and the pizza had arrived. Time already seemed to be passing too quickly. After finishing up, the exhaustion hit me with an unrelenting force. I didn't even have the energy to get under the covers.

"Tired, baby?" Edward asked, running his fingertips gently down my arm.

I nodded weakly and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I don't want you to go..." I tapered off.

"I know, Bella. I know." It was the last thing I remembered before falling asleep in his arms.

I woke up having not moved, and by the looks of it, neither had Edward. His arm rested on my hip and the scent of him enveloped me. I studied the angles of his face as I watched him sleep, trying to soak up the time I had left by just enjoying the fact that he was there, with me. That was the moment it really set in; this was where I would be for the next three years. A pang of uncertainty struck me as I wondered if Edward and I would stand the test of time. I wasn't doubting the strength of what we had built, but things were about to change. I hadn't allowed myself to really think about how it could impact us, and we had avoided any discussion about it.

I was so lost in thought I hadn't even noticed he had opened his eyes. "What are you thinking about there." His voice was deep and raspy from sleep.

I felt myself frown in immediate response. "I'm just worried about things changing."

He laughed lightly. "You worry too much. We'll be okay."

There was a great deal of reassurance in his tone. I leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around my waist and curled himself around me. Nothing felt more like home than his arms, and I inhaled his scent deeply, committing his personal spice to memory.

After a while we hauled ourselves out of bed. Edward went out and brought back coffee and bagels, and we set to work unpacking.

We talked about Nathan and my upcoming classes. Occasionally, we were distracted by each other, but the more of his lips on mine I could get, the better.

By late afternoon, the house was nearly put away, just a few boxes left that I would tackle on my own. I could feel the time sifting away much too quickly, I wasn't ready for tomorrow to come.

"How about I take you to dinner?" Edward offered.

"I don't know if I have the energy."

"Anything you'd like," he tempted.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. "Sushi?"

He smiled at me in return. He knew it was my favorite, and we didn't have any sushi restaurants in Forks.

"I said anything, didn't I?"

"You know you want it!" I exclaimed, feeling my second wind arrive.

"I'm starved, should we just go?"

"Yep, just let me throw on some clean jeans and I'll be good."

A few minutes later we were in the car, headed to a place neither of us had tried. Edward sat next me, rather than across from me. We ordered a large hot saki and split a dark Japanese beer. After we ordered, we just sat there, making conversation, and for a little while I was able to put the thought out of my mind that he was leaving the following day. I reveled in the warmth and soothing touch of his hand on my back as I sipped my cold beer. These were the type of moments I had grown used to in our time together – the little unspoken reassurances that I wasn't alone, that there was someone that understood me. Everything we ordered was delicious, the fish tasted fresh; the salmon practically melted in my mouth. Once we were filled to the brim with fish, beer and saki, we paid up and made our way back home.

Maybe it was the smell of the leather seats of his car, mixed with the scent that was uniquely him, but as soon as we were on our way, it hit me again. I tried to hide my tears by turning my head to look out the window, but Edward already knew me too well for them to escape his notice.

He grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. "What's wrong?"

I wiped away the wetness with my free hand and turned to look at him. "I don't know if I can do this alone. The thought of you not being here...it's eating at me."

His reaction surprised me; he laughed.

"You think this is funny?" I asked, trying to hold in the anger beginning to boil at his display of mockery.

He shook his head. "No, that's not it at all. What's funny is that I know you can do this. I bet in a week you won't even be giving me a second thought."

"I still fail to see the humor in this."

"Okay, stubborn girl, let me break it down."

I stifled a laugh as he continued.

"How long did it take you to call me after my dad gave you my number?"

"A couple months."

"And who was so reluctant to let anyone else lift a finger or help clean up around the holidays?"

"Me," I conceded.

"Who fought for their dad as hard as he did, in the toughest moments?"

I felt my lip tremble. "I did."

"Bella, I only laughed because you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. That didn't go away when you let me in."

I smiled at him and squeezed his hand tightly. I felt my cheeks warm from the inside at how he saw me.
"I am strong, aren't I?" I finally agreed.

"Yes, you are."

We pulled up to my new place and hurried back inside. Once there, Edward held me at the shoulders and looked me in the eye. "You can do this, Bella. I'm not going anywhere. We'll see each other on the weekends and we can talk every day."

There was so much conviction in his voice that it couldn't help but bleed into me.

"Every day?" I said with a laugh.

"Shut up," he answered before he leaned down to kiss me. The kiss was long and deep, his lips attached to mine, moving in sync. His tongue traced the outside of my lower lip and a soft moan escaped as I opened my mouth. I would never tire of kissing Edward. We stayed that way for what seemed like hours, though it ended much too quickly.

"Ready for bed?" he asked as he pulled back, his lips plump and his mouth red from our kiss.

"Always."

We made good use of our last night together, exploring each others bodies, not leaving even a patch of skin neglected. We finally fell asleep in the middle of the night, tangled up in the sheets and in each other. Normally when I slept, I liked my space, but this night was an exception. It was like I couldn't get close enough, even though there wasn't even a breath of space between us.

I woke up in the same position I had finally fell asleep in. Edward snored softly next to me, my left leg still draped across the top of him. I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay there and keep him like that as long as possible. I already felt the weight of his absence and the loss of his warmth encroaching. I couldn't think about saying goodbye or I might cry, and that was the last thing I wanted him to wake up to. I willed myself to lay there and was comforted by the pattern of his breathing while he slept, even if he was snoring.

He woke about twenty minutes later and greeted me with a kiss on top of the head.

"Hey," he said in his sexy morning rasp. His fingers had found there way into my hair; I would miss the way he played with it.

"Morning, Edward. Guess I wore you out last night," I played.

He tilted my chin up so that we were face to face and kissed me before answering. "Oh, I think we wore each other out."

We laughed together.

After a while we pulled our lazy butts out of bed, made coffee, and spent the late morning inside.

With every passing moment, my stomach churned a little bit more. I knew Edward had to leave around one. He had to check in with Nathan before the end of the day.

"Want to take a walk before I have to take off?" he asked.

"Okay."

It was gray and slightly gloomy outside, but it wasn't raining. We walked hand in hand, saying things here and there, but letting the foreboding charge in the air stagnate. By the time we made it back to my apartment, I knew it was time to say goodbye. He walked me up the stairs and back into my little place.

He looked at me pleadingly as he pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I love you," he said soothingly.

"I love you," I replied.

"I'll call you when I'm back in Forks, after I swing by to see Nathan."

I barely waited for him to finish his sentence before I flung my arms around his neck and pulled his face to mine. I was so busy trying to devour him, I bit his lip, drawing blood.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry," I said, horrified.

He broke out into a round of laughter, clutching his stomach where he stood.

"The..look...on your...faaace," he eked out, laughing uncontrollably.

I couldn't help laughing too.

When we finally stopped laughing, without a word, he took me into his arms and lifted me off of my feet as he hugged me.

"Is that your way of claiming me, Bella Swan?"

I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, my feet dangling above the ground.

"Maybe," I answered.

He kissed me again.

"I'm already yours," he said as he put me back down on my feet.

I shook my head in momentary disbelief at where we had ended up, together.

"I'm ready for next weekend already," I said.

"Me too," he answered back.

We kissed again, this time I was gentler, and with one last squeeze, it was really time.

"Five days," he said.

I nodded and watched him walk out the door.

It was so hard not to burst into tears on the spot, but I remembered my strength through Edward's eyes and believed in the strength he had seen.

It was enough to keep me from losing it on my first night alone in Seattle.