Only two visitors were allowed in the room with my father at a time but I shooed my family away.

I wanted to spend this time with my father. Just me and him.

A father daughter day that was surely going to come to an end.

My dad was unconscious. I put him into unconsciousness and he was going to die and it was my fault.

Not Sam's.

Not Seth's.

Mine.

"Hey, Dad." I started, and so did my tears. "Can you hear me? I need you to hear me. I need you to understand how sorry I am. I didn't want this." I smothered my face in my hands, rubbing at my moist eyes. "Answer me, Dad. Please." I begged, desperate to hear his voice.

I wanted him to live, I wanted him to tell me that he was going to be okay.

I wanted so much from him but he couldn't give me anything. He was a vegetable and I knew it.

But how could I face it? I killed him.

Your fault.

Your fault!

YOUR FAULT!

The drill's taunting proceeded with its chant.

"Dad… listen. Listen to me. Hear my voice. Squeeze my hand. Open your eyes! Do something!" I begged, again.

"Please." I took his hands in mine. "Please," I said again. I put his limp hand on my cheek and kissed his palm. "Just because your heart is weak doesn't mean you're not strong enough to fight this." I whispered.

His hands stayed in mine for the remainder of the time until a nurse told me visiting hours were over.

The nurse escorted me out to where my family was sitting and the first person my eyes focused on was Sam. And Emily was no where in sight.

Did he stay for me?

No, he stayed for my father and my family. My parents, even after the break up, still respected Sam and treated him as apart of the family. Of course he didn't come over as much unless Emily popped in to say Hello, which wasn't often. Considering she knew how I felt and how hard it was on me to see her with him.

Two pains shot at my heart again. Pain for Sam's ignorance and pain for my dad's silence.

I needed to get out of here.

I walked towards my family and gave my brother, Seth, a hug. He clung to me because only he knew how I felt.

How exactly did I feel, though?

My feelings were unimaginable and unacceptable. My dad wouldn't blame me. He wouldn't even dream of blaming Seth. Seth was such a playful and gentle person. His heart was kind and his intentions were honorable. What had happened to our father was not our fault. We couldn't control it.

Convincing myself was going to take some time but, unlike my father, I had all the time in the world.

"Did you tell him I'm sorry?" Seth whimpered.

"This isn't your fault, Seth." My focus was on Sam now. "He had a weak heart." I told him, stroking his untidy hair.

"B-but…"

"Shh," I shushed him. I didn't want to hear my brother's apologies. If anyone was going to take the blame for this it would be me. My brother was too young for sorry. I was the older sibling. I had to set the example, take the blame, be the hero. "We should get going," I suggested.

"No." He pouted.

"Yes." I said. "He forgives you." I said.

"No, he doesn't! How can he, Leah?" Seth yelled.

I tugged at his arm and pulled him aside, away from our audience.

"Seth, this isn't your fault. Understand that. You didn't tell yourself to phase. You didn't even know!" I said.

"It doesn't matter! I killed him!" Seth said, upset.

"Seth…" I reached for his hand but he snapped it back.

"Don't touch me. Go away. I'm staying here with Dad."

"Seth, you can't. Visiting hours are over, you'll get in-"

"Trouble?" He finished. "I don't care. This is our father, Leah. I'm staying." His eyes went from harsh to soft. "I'm staying." He murmured and before I could stop him he ran.

"Seth!" I yelled!

"Go away!" He was going to go see our Dad. I watched as a few nurses started after him and I charged at them.

"Don't touch him." I warned. "I'll get him, don't worry. Just stay away" I glared.

"Leah, we understand your father's condition is hard on you and your brother but you have to follow the hospital rules." The nurse said gently.

"Your rules can go to hell." I said. "Stay away from him. I'll bring him back, just go sit behind your desk and pretend to do something useful. You're not needed here." I said harshly.

The nurse's eyes went wide, she whispered something to the other nurses and they walked away.

I started running down the corridor, again, and when I reached the last corner I could hear a faint noise.

Oh no. I thought.

Please. Oh my God. Please, don't be him.

When I grew closer to my father's room the noise became more clear. A million and one possibilities popped into my head.

"Seth?" I asked, before turning into the door frame of my father's room.

The noise was coming from his room. The beeping wasn't short.

It didn't match his usual heart rhythm.

His heart had stopped and my father was gone.

My own heart was pounding in my chest. It silenced my families cries and the nurses quick steps.

My brother crashed into me as he ran out of the room, his tears soaking my shirt.

When you lose a father, or any family member for that matter, everyone close to that person dies somehow too.

I was a lost child living in an inanimate family.

My brother's grip tightened on my shirt as I pulled him down to the floor with me. I hugged him close, desperate for forgiveness.

"Will you forgive me?" I whispered in Seth's ear.

"Will you forgive me?" He asked in return.

I kissed my brother on the cheek, shocked he didn't pull away in disgust and said: "Yes. I will."