This is what happens when Amber is bored and doesn't have a real plot to work with... she writes crappy oneshots... I thought the idea was kinda funny. And Stein always seems to know everything about everyone, so... Yeah, that's enough rambling. I don't own Soul Eater.

Spirit sat at the table with a drink in his hand. It was number… forget it, he'd lost count. The Death Scythe sat in Chupa Cabra's very depressed. Lisa, Arisa, and Blair hadn't even approached him after seeing the dark cloud hovering over him.

"Where's Stein when you need him?" Spirit muttered before taking another drink. Suddenly, a bell chimed indicating the front door opening. In walked said scientist, trying to take in his surroundings.

"Can I help you, nya?" Blair asked Stein.

"I'm just here to help a friend," he answered, pointing to Spirit.

"Good luck with that. Poor Death Scythe…" Blair trailed off as she walked away.

Stein pulled a chair up to the table in order to sit across from Spirit. The red-head looked up to his friend sadly. "Why did you call me here?" Stein asked.

Spirit burst into tears. "My angel! My Maka! She's gone and left her papa!" he sobbed. "I saw him! Holding hands with my daughter!"

"What? Soul and Maka?" Stein asked uninterested as he cleaned his glasses. "They hold hands quite frequently. I mean, they are partners."

"Yeah, but not like this! They had their fingers laced and everything!" Spirit fought back.

"They are a teenage boy and girl living under the same roof. It was bound to happen," the scientist said, placing his glasses back on his face. He began turning the bolt in his head as he continued, "I find it strange that you didn't realize this sooner."

"But that's not all!" the flustered father continued. "I saw them through the window! They were-"

"You spied on them through the window of their apartment?" Stein asked amused.

"That's not the point!" Spirit exclaimed. "When I saw them… when I saw them, they were…" The red-head leaned over the table and whispered to his friend, "They were kissing!"

"That's all?"

"Whadya mean 'That's all'?"

"They've been together for a while now. As a couple, I mean. I can't believe you hadn't known about it."

"WHAT?"

"And apparently you did not witness the worst of what they've done together," the well-informed scientist concluded.

Spirit's mouth hung open, and he fainted. Be it from shock or from the over-consumption of alcohol, Stein didn't know. The scientist pushed up his glasses and left the building without trying to help his unconscious friend off the floor.