Sarah was having quite an interesting conversation with the fairies—yes, England's fairies!—when Yao entered the room.

"Aiyah?" he questioned upon entering. Sarah was the only one in the conference room, yet she seemed to be having quite the talk with someone. "Who are you talking to, aru?"

"The fairies, of course!"

"Uh…" Not her, too, aru!

"You see, the other day, I told England—as politely as I could, mind you—that I didn't really care for his tea. He threw this big hissy fit and now bad things keep happening to me! I think he put a curse on me… but no matter! I, along with these wonderful ladies, will help me seek revenge on Arthur! Isn't that right, Lenny?" Sarah asked the empty chair next to her. A dark aura came from the chair, leading to Yao's next question.

"Sarah… is that Busby's chair, aru?"

"Yeah. But having Lenny sit here makes it a bit less evil. You know, the pots of gold and stuff."

"I see. Why isn't he dying, aru?"

"Yao! You're so funny! Fairies and mythical creatures are immune to Busby's chair. Their purity and magic ward away the evil. Oh, see you later, Lenny!" she called after the imaginary fellow.

"Sarah… Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, of course. Never been better. Anyway, as I was saying, the only human who has ever survived the Busby's chair is Ivan, and I'm pretty sure he out-evilled it."

"Uh-huh…" Yao was suddenly overcome by the sickening aura emanating from the chair. The evilness was definitely more potent now that… uh, Lenny had left.

At that moment, Ivan walked in. "Yao, gosling!" He kissed Yao on the cheek. "Is something wrong? You look a little pale, da. You should sit down." Ivan led him to Busby's chair as he started yelling.

"Ivan, no!" Sarah cried just in time to save Yao. Yao was about two inches above the chair, and holding onto Ivan's scarf for dear life. That's how Sarah knew that Ivan really loved Yao; he was the only one besides Katyusha who had ever been allowed to touch his scarf.

Yao sighed with relief as Ivan put him back on his feet. "That's Busby's chair, aru," he explained.

"Gosling, that's just a myth. There's nothing to be scared of, da."

"I am not sitting there. Ever," he insisted.

Ivan sighed. "I'll show you." He sat down as Sarah cried out in protest. "See? There is nothing to worry about."

The chair proceeded to blow up beneath him. "Hmm?" Ivan pondered as he stood up. "That is strange, da. That has been happening to me quite frequently lately."

Sarah was white as a ghost. "No…" she groaned. "Uncle Artie is going to kill me when he finds out…."

"It's fine, aru. I'm sure he will understand."

"Oh yes, I'm so sure that he will openly embrace the idea of Ivan destroying his ultimate weapon for the third time!" Sarah was sure Yao would see reason.

"Meh," Yao shrugged. "Ivan feels like killing things, aru, and the chair is one of them."

Sarah stared at her with her jaw open. "Wait—wha—? We're encouraging his thirst for blood?"

As she was saying that, Ludwig came in with one of the worst people to place in front of Ivan when he was in a sadistic mood: Gilbert.

Sarah jumped up and attempted to hide Gilbert under a table in the room, crying, "He's gonna fricking KILL you, East!" Confused, Ludwig opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but closed it when Sarah shot him a look that said, Don't ask.

Ivan gently pushed Sarah aside to look under the table, only to find that Gilbert was gone. "Gilbert… Come out, da…" He began to chant, "Kolkolkol…"

Sarah turned to Yao. "Can we please not kill Gilbert today?"

As Ivan continued his search, and his creepy chanting, Yao shook his head at him. "Oh well, aru. He'll give up eventually."

"I certainly hope so; it would be 'very unawesome' if Gilbert was attacked today."

"Well, I can't stop him, aru!" Yao cried. "He won't listen to me sometimes, aru."

"Well, do try to restrain him," Sarah begged. She then tugged on Ludwig's sleeve. "Ludwig, please get your brother out of here."

Ludwig looked as though he'd just been pulled out of a trance. "Why?"

"Why? Well, I don't know. BECAUSE HE'S GONNA DIE, THAT'S WHY!" Sarah yelled.

"Nuuu, Ivan! Nuu!" Yao hopped on Ivan's back and, by some miracle, knocked him over. Seeing the opportunity, Gilbert clambered up from under a table and ran out with a frantic, "Later, guys!"

Sarah sighed with relief. "Well, at least Gilbert got out." She looked up to see Ivan glaring murderously at her. It was about then that she realized that she was just a measly state among nations. "Eh heh heh…" she laughed nervously, hiding behind Ludwig. "Please don't kill me…"

"Don't be silly!" Yao cried, letting Ivan up. "As long as I'm around, aru, Ivan won't kill anyone!" He looked more cheery than was really appropriate for the situation. Ivan, meanwhile, continued to glare at Ludwig and Sarah.

Sarah heard Alfred in the hallway and nervously called, "Dad? Please come here. Dad? I kind of need you…" When Alfred didn't respond, she yelled, "Dad!"

Alfred came in, shoving a whole burger in his mouth. "Mphh!"He cried before swallowing. "Hey Sarah! What's up?"

Sarah wanted to facepalm at her father's inability to read the atmosphere. "Dad, could you give Mr. Ivan the vodka I bought for him?"

"Hmm? Isn't that supposed to be for Christm—?"

"Time is a factor, Dad." Sarah cringed behind Ludwig as Ivan stood up, still staring daggers into the two.

Alfred pulled out a vodka bottle from the inside of his bomber jacket, gave it to a suddenly giddy Ivan, and left. Ivan, overjoyed, took the vodka and sat down. Sarah was relieved as Ivan downed the vodka, knowing that the memory of Gilbert was being drowned in alcohol.

"I've never liked his drinking habits, aru," Yao sighed, seeming irritated with Sarah.

"Whatever works," Sarah justified. Then, feeling guilty for feeding Ivan's addiction, she went to her bag and brought out a sunflower that she actually had picked specifically for Ivan. "Ivan? I thought you'd like this… They grow all over the place in my land!"

He took the sunflower with a genuine boyish smile, and smelled it. "So pretty, da," he commented, putting down an empty vodka bottle. "I will visit your land often, then, when everyone becomes one with Mother Russia, da?"

Sarah, disturbed by this image, silently thanked God that he had forgotten about Gilbert.

"Gosling, look at the pretty sunflower!" he said eagerly to Yao, who smiled.

"Very pretty," Yao agreed.

Ivan handed the flower to Yao. "You can have it, da."

As Sarah tried to conceal a squeal of joy at the cute scene—After all, who would have thought anyone would ever find Ivan cute, or that he would have a cute moment?—Yao said, "Well, at least he has a soft side, aru."

"Least, da… yeast…" Ivan mused to himself. "Beast, priest, east…" He suddenly stopped smiling. "East?... Gilbert…"

Sarah's heart sank as he rose, remembering his original conquest. "Nuu, love, aru!" Yao cried as he tried (unsuccessfully) to keep Ivan seated.

"What on Earth is going on?" Ludwig asked Sarah, more than a little confused by the events taking place before him.

"I can only hope that Gilbert is far, far away by now." Sarah took Ludwig's hand, finding comfort there.

"Nope!" An unmistakable voice called from the window. Gilbert proceeded to climb through the window. "I'm right here, 'cause I'm awes—OH GOD DON'T KILL ME!" Gilbert cried as he dodged a fatal swing from a drunken Ivan.

Sarah jumped between the two men as Yao tried to reason, "Well, Gilbert, at least he doesn't have a bottle, aru!" Ivan began cursing in Russian. "I love you, Ivan, aru!" Yao cried, tugging at Ivan's hand. "Please don't kill Gilbert, aru, for Ludwig's sake at least!"

"Um, Ivan?" Sarah spoke up. "The 'kol'ing is kinda creeping me out…"

At this, Ivan snapped and began choking Gilbert. Yao yelled, "IVAN! NO! GET YOUR ASS OFF HIM, NOW!" Ivan turned to look at the Chinese man, frightened at his tone. Yao never yelled. Not even when he was bad as a child.

He felt hands tugging at his, and turned to see Sarah trying to remove his hands from Gilbert's neck. "Damn, you have a strong grip!" she grunted through her teeth. "Ludwig, help?" Ludwig nodded, and did so, but success what not obtained.

Infuriated, Yao said, "Ivan, aru, if you do not let him go this instant, I swear I will not become one with you!" Ivan dropped Gilbert immediately, straightening himself and looking as though he was just slapped in the face. "I'm sorry for his behavior," Yao apologized to Gilbert.

"What did I just hear?" Sarah demanded, her hands on her hips. "Did you just say that you and Ivan are becoming one? As in, married? Why was I not informed, or better yet, asked to be your maid of honor? Some best friend you are."

"Well, it's not official yet… but, maybe?" Yao looked expectantly up at Ivan, who would not meet his gaze.

"Yeah, well, I—." Sarah was cut off by Ludwig, who hugged her from behind and clapped one hand over her mouth.

"WHAAAAT? Tell me, aru!" Yao said as Ivan hugged him, hoping he would forget the whole marriage deal.

Ludwig forced a smile. "Oh, she was just going to vent some more. But there's no point in arguing, right?"

That was when Yao caught sight of the pretty ring on Sarah's left hand. "What is this, aru?" He grabbed Sarah's hand and appraised the ring as Ludwig released Sarah with a groan. "Do you see this, Ivan? THIS?" Ivan tried to ignore Yao as he glared at him.

"I think we started a fight…" Sarah admitted guiltily.

Gilbert chose this as the time to speak up. "Oi, Ivan! West here proposed before you! He must have bigger balls than you, which wouldn't surprise me 'cause he's related to the awesome me!"

Sarah and Yuan looked terrified as Ludwig chastised, "East, you're going to start another fight! And don't expect me to bail you out when you act so foolishly!"

Ivan began his chant again, and Yao was desperate to avoid further conflict. "Uh, Ivan, aru, it's okay that I don't have a ring, just don't kill Gilbert!" Ignoring him, Ivan was surrounded by a purple aura. "Uh oh… not good!" Yao exclaimed.

Sarah suddenly made strange hand signs. "Corn field style!" Her hands locked together as she cried, "Transport no Jutsu!"

"Really? A Naruto reference? How unaweso—!" Gilbert was cut off when Sarah hit the ground, and he disappeared.

"Being modeled after the authoress, anything goes!" Sarah claimed.

Ludwig, Ivan, and Yao seemed equally disturbed by this. "Um, okay, aru," Yao broke the silence. "At least Ivan can't kill him, aru. Gives me more time to ask about that ring!" He smiled brightly up at Ivan, who sighed.

"But you don't need one, gosling," he tried to reason. His words were met with another cold stare from Yao.

"I think you deserve a ring, Yao," Sarah told her close friend.

Arthur was walking by the conference room just in time to see Ludwig carrying a frantic and flailing Sarah out of the room, and heard Yao scream, "YOU SEE? BECOME ONE WITH ME, IVAN!"

And Ivan ran out after the first two.

"I'm not so sure I want to know," Iggy grumbled to himself as he walked away.

A/N: Yayy! Haha this is what happens when my best friend and I miss each other, text, and talk about Hetalia. No joke.

So I'm thinking I may start a Bleach story. Or maybe one based off Godchild. Idk, just food for thought. Anyway, I'm going to post chapters here whenever something funny happens that reminds me of Hetalia.

Yao may be out of character, but my best friend evah, Sapphire's Twilight, is the basis for Yao here. She and her bf of two years call themselves Russia and China. So that's kind of why my Yao in my one-shot for RoChu was female, named Yuan.

Anywayzzz, thanks for reading, catch you later!