Well, I bet you guys feel loved. Two chapters in one night! This will be the last update until both Breaking Dawn parts come out on DVD. So...yeah.

Bella: (Disdainfully) Another party, Alice?

Alice: It'll be fun!

Bella: That's what you said last time.

Alice: Don't worry, I'll keep you away from paper.

Edward: Good. (To Bella) And I promise not to break up with you this time. (winks)

Bella: (rolls eyes)

Mike: ...Some blooper this is.

XX

(Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and Alice are chasing Victoria through the woods. Emmett looks behind him, but doesn't watch where he's going. He slams into a tree)

Emmett: Who put that there?

XX

Edward: My Bella is just too fragile.

Bella: (Deadpan) Gee. I wonder how we can solve that.

Edward: Anything short of turning you into a vampire.

Bella: You do realize it's the only way we can stay together forever?

Edward: (sigh) Stubborn.

Bella: Look who's talking.

XX

Charlie: Hey, what's going on here? (silence for a few minutes, then...)

Edward: (points to Jake) He kissed Bella!

Jake: (Points to Edward) He's overprotecting her!

Edward: He broke her hand!

Jake: He broke her heart!

Edward: He's a werewolf!

Jake: HE'S A VAMPIRE!

Charlie:...

Bella: ...Awkward.

XX

Edward: (To Jake, sporting boxing gloves) MY Bella!

Jake: (also sporting boxing gloves) No, mine!

Bella: Guys, come on. There's plenty of me to go around.

Edward: (to Jake) Listen, mongrel. You stay away from Bella. She's mine. And no one is taking her away from me.

Jake: I saw her first!

Edward: Well, I kissed her first.

Jake: Yeah...well..you suck!

Edward: So do you!

Jake: Go to hell!

Edward: (Pins Jake against a wall) That's exactly where I'm gonna send you unless you stay away from Bella.

Jake: What. A. Threat! Look out, Freddy and Jason! Edward is coming to town!

Edward: FUCK YOU!

Jake: Right back at you!

XX

Bella: There's a bed. (The bed in Edward's room is the exact same bed as the one in Phantom of the Opera) You've got to be kidding.

XX

Sorry, guys. That's all I got.