A.N.: My first purely Bleach story. Inspired by some of the anime Omakes. I don't have a clue whether this is an original idea or lots of people had thought about it before.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Does anyone seriously think I do? Get a reality check.
Candy
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Yamamoto Genryuusai-sotaichou was scowling at the two men standing in front of him. They had a lot in common. Both had white hair and both were wearing white haori signifying their rank. Also, both were looking guilty and both were in trouble.
"So, according to the report, the building will have to be torn down and rebuild. It, however, doesn't say how did it happen. So what do you two have to say for yourselves?" the general's voice resounded through the room like thunder. There was a while of tense silence. Then the taller and older man gathered enough courage to speak.
"Well, Yamamoto-sama, it started like this:"
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Why do you give me the candy?" Hitsugaya Toshiro, taichou of the Tenth division asked Ukitake Juushiro, taichou of the Thirteenth division. The older man smiled a wide smile. The young captain had the sinking feeling he'd get the same answer as before. Seriously, this was getting old. This was the third time this week and it was only Thursday.
"Because we're both Shiro-chan," Ukitake answered ruffling his hair. Hitsugaya had a hard time to keep his teeth from gritting. He hated the nickname and he was sure the other man knew it. Then why did he insist on using it? Was he trying to get a rise from him? The young prodigy had no intention to allow it. He was a captain and he demanded respect as such, no matter that he didn't look any older than eleven. But that didn't mean he had to take Juushiro's teasing without a reaction. He'd just had to do it in a mature, dignified way.
"I mean," he spoke slowly, "why do you really insist on giving me all the sweets?"
"What do you mean?" Ukitake's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"You know," Toshiro spoke slowly, "Grandmother always warned me of older men giving me candy."
"She was a wise woman," the taller man nodded.
"Do you realize you're an older man giving me candy?" Hitsugaya spoke in a deliberate tone.
"What?" The older man in question didn't anticipate such reaction. The child-looking captain had to suppress a smirk. He nodded gravely.
"Yes, she said I should avoid them, because nothing good will ever come from them." By this time, Ukitake recovered from his shock. He put on his best reassuring smile.
"I would never do anything bad to you, Shiro-chan." There was the thrice-accursed word again. Toshiro's eyes narrowed, but he straightened his expression quickly. He mustn't allow himself get sidetracked. He had a plan of attack and he had to follow it.
"That's interesting," he replied. "Grandmother said that the men would say this too."
"But I mean it," the Thirteenth Division captain insisted.
"She warned that they would insist," Hitsugaya nodded.
"It's not like that!" Juushiro protested.
"Denial?" Toshiro raised an eyebrow. "She anticipated even that."
"But, Shiro-chan, how can you think such things of me?" Ukitake looked like innocence personified. Hitsugaya smirked inwardly. It was working.
"And how can I not?" he questioned. "You keep giving me candy, calling me pet names, ruffling my hair… How can I not think you have a crush on me?"
"That's not true!" Ukitake's eyes widened in horror.
"What isn't? The candy part, the pet-name part or the ruffling my hair part?" Hitsugaya asked deliberately slowly, thoroughly enjoying Ukitake sweating.
"The crush part!" the Thirteenth Division captain protested.
"Really? But all the signs are there," the Tenth Division captain pointed out.
"They're wrong!" Juushiro insisted.
"I don't think so," the childish-looking captain shook his head. "Grandmother was a wise woman, you admitted as much yourself. She knew very well what she was talking about."
"She didn't even know me!" Ukitake reminded him.
"But she knew your kind," Hitsugaya deadpanned.
"How can you think such a thing of me?" the long-haired man tried to mount a counterattack. "Don't you know me at all?" His counterpart remained undaunted.
"I know you as the creep who gives little boys candy," he repeated his claim.
"No," Juushiro corrected, "only you, because I like you."
"So you admit you have a crush on me!" Toshiro shouted victoriously. By the time, Ukitake was ready to tear his hair.
"I don't!" he protested.
"So you're in denial," the youngest of the captains stated.
"I'm not!" the senior captain shouted.
"Denial, indeed," Hitsugaya nodded.
"That's not true," Ukitake insisted. "How can I convince you?"
"Than stop with the candy!" the younger man demanded. If it went well, he'd never have to deal with 'the other Shiro-chan's' antics again.
"But why? Don't you like it?" It seemed he was celebrating prematurely.
"Not from you!" Hitsugaya was once again loosing his cool. I have to calm down, he repeated like a mantra, but Ukitake made it very hard for him.
"But you do like candy!" Juushiro smiled triumphantly.
"Well, yes," Toshiro admitted reluctantly.
"So have some more!"
And that's how the fight began.