Chapter 1: Harry Potter

Harry Potter woke up one day in the deserted Gryffindor common room strapped to a chair. He had no idea where everyone was or why he was stuck in a chair, until he heard a mysterious voice.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..."

"What? Where am I?"

"Harry Potter….. is part-wizard, part-dragonfly…

"Huh? No I'm not. I'm a half-blood."

"Harry Potter…..is denying his dragonfly ancestry….."

That's because it doesn't exist!

"Harry Potter... thinks Dumbledore is going to kill him….."

"What? Is there a reason I should think so?

"Harry Potter….thinks Voldemort is made out of macaroni.

"What the heck? What is this? I'm strapped to a chair listening to you list random facts that aren't true? Can I leave?"

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't know you were so sensitive about He- Who- Is- Made- Of- Macaroni."

"His name is Voldemort! Voldemort!"

Harry Potter...the reason he survived as a baby is because he ate Voldemort.

"No, that's not true! That doesn't make any sense! I survived because of my mum-

"Harry Potter….is denying his cannibalism…."

"ARGHH. You're obnoxious!"

"Harry Potter….the pirate who has a big vocabulary…."

"I'm not a bloody pirate! Can I leave now?"

"Harry Potter….wants to leave so he can go on to his secret love affair with Professor Lupin."

"EWWW! That's disgusting! He was my parents' best friend! EWW!"

"Now you know Harry James Potter….the part-wizard, part-dragonfly pirate cannibal who is overly paranoid is and is having a love affair with Remus John Lupin!"

"ARGHH! May I go now?"

The ropes finally released Harry . He walked very quickly to the door. Before he could get there though, he heard the voice again:

"You know, you guys both have the same initial for your middle name! It's a sign!"

"Shut up!"

"Okay, Okay, just say hi to Remus from me!"

Harry turned around and threw a vase at the wall. He then ran away to the door and slammed it.

"Now you know, Harry James Potter, the wizard, dragonfly, pirate, cannibal hybrid who is paranoid about his love affair with Lupin who also has anger management-issues!"

Harry's screams could be heard all over Hogwarts.

Author's Note:

The evil voice from All That is back! And it's coming for Potter and his friends! =D

Disclaimer: All That and Harry Potter isn't mine.

Stay Tuned for the evil voice to interview other characters!