Warnings: A fic that begins out nice and fluffy can hide dark secrets, like this one. A slash fic, alternative HISTORY, and themes I rarely write about, because I feel so strongly against them. Trust me, this fic deserves its R rating.

Background/Notes: Alternative HISTORY! It takes place on Earth, but the timeline is very different. Not to mention that Dib is currently 15 in this fanfic. This fic is best when you listen to Nickelback's "Silver Side Up," CD, for those who have it. There would be NO WAY I would have finished this fic so damn fast (five days, dead serious) if it weren't for that CD. Though, it IS independent from the CD; I made sure it was.

Disclaimer: I do not own them. I do, however, own the idea. And Jazz.

Love Does Not Cause Pain
Chapter One:
"The Arrangement"

Zim glanced around, staring at the vastness that was the Massive. He half-walked, half-ran to where he was needed. "Why did the Tallests call for me…?" he mumbled as he made his way there.

"Space-boy?! What are you doing here?" a voice shouted from behind him.

"I should ask you the same thing, stink beast," Zim said, turning to face the human boy behind him. "I was sent for by the Tallests themselves."

"So was I," Dib responded. "I guess I'm being promoted from skool--I'm just too smart for a human."

Zim snorted. "You? Smarter than the rest of the pathetic human race? You wished."

"Well, at least I was not the shortest member of MY race…" Dib retorted, walking a head of Zim. "I don't want to be late, Zim, so keep quiet."

"I don't want to be later either," Zim mumbled as he followed the human in front of him. A human was generally now allowed on the Massive unless… Zim stopped walking and shook his head. "It can't be…" he whispered.

Dib turned around and blinked. "It can't be what, space-boy?" Dib asked.

"Do you know of the arranged marriages?" Zim countered.

"Of course I do. My sister was arranged to marry your friend, after all. Why?" Dib returned, narrowing his eyes at Zim. "You don't think…?"

Zim shuddered. "It's just a speculation, worm-baby, but I doubt that's what's going on…"

Sighing, Dib shook his head. "Well, whatever it is, it can't be something like that. I've never seen the Tallests make two males have an arranged marriage."

Zim remained silent, but continued to believe that his suspicions were correct. Though, the Dib-human was still smirking to himself. He couldn't believe that Dib was so naïve towards the ways of Irkens, and yet he'd lived with them all his life. "Stupid human…" he mumbled out of habit.

Dib glared at him. "I am not stupid, Zim!" he shrieked.

"…"

"What? Are you too high and mighty to speak with one of us 'lesser' human?" Dib asked.

"No, I just don't feel like talking," Zim replied. "Besides, you humans aren't lesser, you're pathetic when compared to the Irken race."

"Whatever," Dib said as he rolled his eyes.

The two walked down the long hall in silence, and Zim was still unable to shake off the dread he was feeling. Dib gave him an odd look.

"So…which room did they say they'd meet you?" Dib asked suddenly.

"The meeting room, just like everyone else, Dib," Zim responded. "Of course, since you're not Irken, you wouldn't quite understand that, now would you?"

Dib flushed slightly, then said: "Shut. Up. So what if I'm not Irken, Zim! I'm still a member of the Irken Empire, so treat me like an equal, at least!"

"There is nothing in the constitution that says I have to treat you equally. I can if I want to, and I just don't want to," Zim stressed, glaring at Dib. Dib just sighed. "Well…we're here," Zim muttered, just as Red and Purple entered the room.

"I see you and Dib made it here in one piece, Zim," Purple stated, acting utterly bored.

"Wow, you mean they didn't get into some life-threatening battle?" Red asked.

"You owe me money, Red," Purple responded quietly, then turned towards Zim and Dib, smirking at them.

Zim shivered slightly, then bowed to his two leaders. "You asked for me, my Tallests?" he asked politely once he raised his head.

Dib sighed, then did the same, not bowing quite as long as Zim. "What is it that you wish to speak to me about, Tallests Red and Purple?"

Zim gave Dib a look. "Copy-cat," he muttered.

"Idiot," Dib retorted.

Red and Purple exchanged glances, then smirked down at Zim and Dib. "You two are aware that you usually wouldn't be forced into the same room unless it was very important, right?" Purple asked.

"Yes, my Tallests," both Dib and Zim replied, glaring at each other the whole time.

"Purple, let's just tell them our idea already!" Red said, looking down at the two boys.

"Shhh! Red, we have to at least let them worry… Or it's not fun!"

Zim and Dib blinked at their shared leaders, uncomprehending of what was going on. Dib looked at Zim, then asked, "Are they always like this?"

"No! Don't be silly, human," Zim responded.

"Anyway, we know how much you two generally don't like being in the same room, but Red and I have decided that, so as to cut down on public property damage, that you should be arranged to live together for the next few months," Purple stated finally…

And was met with blank stares from Zim and Dib. Finally, Dib's eyes widened in shock, and he muttered a collective about of curses--all in English instead or Irken so that the Tallests would not understand him.

"…I told you so…" Zim said to Dib finally.

"Be quiet, space-boy!" Dib hissed. "I just hate it when you're right…"

"I guess you would hate me all the time, then," Zim said with a smirk.

Red and Purple snickered. "It is not an arranged marriage by definition, but it is very similar," Red continued for Purple. "If Purple and I see that you two should be married, we will contact you. We're trying to cut down on property damage…and since the two of you cause most of it…"

"My Tallests," Dib interrupted politely. "Space-boy and I will not try to fight if we are allowed to remain in our own homes. I do not want to live with him."

"And why not? I'm a fine Invader, Dib. You should be honored to—"

"Oh, just shut up your ego, will you? I'm tired of hearing how great you are," Dib stated, rolling his eyes. "Besides, by the way you're talking, I'm beginning to think that you want to live with me!"

"He's got you there, Zim—OW! Purple, that hurt!" Red exclaimed as he rubbed his side.

"Dib, we know that you would try to get along. But take right now as an example: you and Zim can't stop bickering even in front of your leaders. You're a reasonably smart human, I'm sure you understand where Red and I are coming from," Purple explained calmly, ignoring his cohort.

Dib sighed, then kicked at the floor. "I understand, Sir," he mumbled.

"My Tallests…who would move in with who?" Zim asked, trying to ignore the human beside him.

"Well, which place works best for you?" Red asked, still rubbing his side.

"It's something you'll both have to agree on," Purple added. "We'll call you back to see how it's going."

Zim and Dib nodded, bowed, and turned to walk out of the room. Zim didn't even bother to say anything; Dib was cursing freely now that he was out of the presence of the Tallests, using a mixture of English and Irken.

"I never knew you knew so many curses, Dib," Zim muttered once Dib fell silent.

"I'm surprised you haven't started ranting curses in every language you know," Dib stated. "This is so goddamn wrong. There is just no way in hell I'll live with you."

"The feeling is mutual," Zim murmured. "I assume you'll be moving into my house, then," Zim added after a long period of silence.

"Shut up. I'm only doing this because I was ordered to. Even though I'd rather live with my father, I guess I have no choice but to move in with you," Dib spat, trying to keep his anger in check and failing horribly.

"You do realize that the Tallests are only doing this so we can get used to each other. They're going to make us get married."

"You think you just know everything, don't you? Just because you're Irken doesn't mean that I'm twice as stupid as you are because I'm human. In fact, I believe it's the other way around, but that's just me…"

Zim glared at Dib once more, then sighed. "I can't believe I made a fool of myself in front of them…"

"And how is that different from any other day, Zim?" Dib asked as he jumped out of the way of a stray punch.

"Must you insult me every chance you get?" Zim asked.

"…Yes," Dib answered. "I'll meet you at your place… I guess we should get this over with."

"For once, I agree with you. If we put this off, then the Tallests might be more towards the whole…marriage…thingy," Zim replied, walking off in a different direction than Dib.

Dib sighed. "I don't think I'll ever get used to this…"

It was later that day and Dib was almost done packing his things. He sighed and lied down on his bed, hugging his only stuffed animal that he was NOT ashamed to own. No matter how old Dib was, he couldn't let go of the dog-like toy. It had been a gift from his mother.

But Dib knew that if he brought it, Zim was sure to make fun of him. "So what if he does?" Dib asked himself as he held onto the toy. "It's the only link to Mom that I have…"

"Dib, I've been informed of the…arrangement the Tallests ordered. You want to talk about it?" Membrane asked through the door.

"No, Dad. I'll be fine…it's only for a couple of months," Dib replied, taking his childhood relic and placing it in a random bag. "Zim promised not to kill me," Dib lied as he grabbed his things.

"Oh, well, just make sure you come and visit. I should go back down to the lab. I have to finish making the sporks better!"

"Yeeeeeeah, all right, Dad," Dib said after a little bit of silence from his father. "You go do that. I can fly a Voot Cruiser, you know," Dib stated finally. Dib said a quick good bye to his father and headed out of the house, towards his own Voot Cruiser (since Membrane refused to use them). Quickly and quietly, Dib stuffed all his things and flew off to Zim's house.

Sighing, Dib realized this was going to be the last day he would be living with Membrane. He was going to live with an Irken. Dib made a face of disgust for a brief moment. Irkens were the very race that had, at first, captured the humans and made them their slaves. In fact, about a hundred years ago, there still were human slaves. Though, even if the slavery had ended, some Irkens still treated humans like dirt. Alicia: Gee, doesn't THAT sound familiar? If anyone can spot the history reference, I'll gives ya a cookie…

Zim just happened to be more overt with his opinions of the human race than most Irkens, and that was why Dib couldn't bring himself to like Zim that much. Zim would have been one of those human slave owners, Dib could just tell by looking at him. But what gave Zim that kind of power, that thought that he was greater than any "weak" human any day? The knowledge of the past on how it used to be with humans and Irkens?

Like any other human being his age, Dib had relatives that had been slaves, and Dib was grateful that he didn't live in those times. But Dib couldn't help but to ask why. Why did the Irkens have to use the humans as slaves? Why did they have to make other races look so small and insignificant? Dib could sit there and bitch about equal treatment all wanted: He was a fourteen year old who had only dealt with one unruly Irken; who would actually sit there and listen to him?

Especially since he was an outcast among humans and Irkens alike, Dib wouldn't even bother to open his mouth. He had learned the hard way that you had to be someone in order to be heard. And now, with an arranged life with one of his human race's oppressors, opening his mouth could do more damage than good. No matter what, thought, Dib was going to have to open his mouth sometime soon. It wasn't his nature to watch people get hurt.

He had to admit, though, that not all Irkens were like Zim. In fact, the Irken his sister Gaz had been forced to marry wasn't at all that bad of a guy, even if he was Zim's bestfriend. Gaz didn't really seem that happy about her arranged marriage, but Dib could almost sense that she was growing used to her new husband.

Though, Dib knew he'd never get used to what he was dealt. Something told him that the Tallests had not thought of him being with Zim as a safety precaution, but as an entertainment opportunity. Dib idly wondered how long he could go without uttering a single insult at Zim as he landed the Cruiser finally, and was almost instantly greeted by Zim.

"It took you long enough," Zim stated as Dib walked out, carrying a few bags.

"Take at least one, will you? And…damnit, Zim, you sound as if you were actually waiting me." Well…his no insulting Zim record had just been shattered—five seconds wasn't half bad for Dib.

"I wasn't waiting for you. I was hoping that you would run away or something," Zim said as he reluctantly took a bag. "Holy Irk, what do you possibly need that's this heavy!" Zim exclaimed.

Dib snickered. "A few bricks I was planning to throw at you," he responded nonchalantly. "And, honestly, that's my lightest bag…"

Zim growled at Dib. "How dare you mock me?"

"It's quiet fun, actually. You never relax enough to enjoy anything," Dib said as he followed Zim.

"I enjoy beating you up…" Zim mumbled.

Dib snorted. "If you call running away being someone up, Zim…"

"I only ran away that one time when you had water!" Zim shrieked.

Dib continued to smirk, but his face fell as Zim began to look through his things. "Zim, those are mine! How would you like it if I went searching through your stuff?" Dib asked as he snatched the bag out of Zim's hands

"I have nothing to hide, Dib, so go right on ahead if you want to," Zim muttered. "Though, I doubt you would want to."

Dib sighed. "Where should I put my things?"

"In my room—I have no spare rooms since I thought I'd never have to deal with another person living in my home," Zim responded, looking bored. "You should be able to find it, since you tend to sneak in through that room."

Dib glared at Zim, then stopped. "Wait…does this mean this mean we'll have to…to…"

"Share a bed? By Irk, what is wrong with you today, stinkbeast? Of course we're going to have to, but us Irkens don't need very much sleep, so I doubt we'll be in a situation where we'll have to sleep next to each other," Zim stated, giving Dib a look that he couldn't quiet figure out.

"That's…reassuring, I guess," Dib mumbled as he walked off to put down his things. "But, I suggest you do something about this—I do not want to wake up one day to find you next to me."

"I plan to make you your own room later on in the week. Don't worry, I hate this as much as you do."

"Yeah. For once we agree one something," Dib said to himself, walking towards Zim's room. Of course, once he got there, Dib examined it, amazed by how…normal it looked. His eyes drifted towards a small black notebook. "No way…" Dib whispered, placing his heavy bags on the floor. He seemed almost drawn towards the notebook. "Zim…have a journal?" he continued to ask himself.

Though, as Dib examined it, he couldn't bring himself to open it. It would just be…wrong to open and read someone's journal—if that was what he was indeed holding. Zim did say that he could look through his things…and reading Zim's personal thoughts was very tempting.

"I wonder if he's said anything about me…? Well, one peak wouldn't kill me…"

Dib opened the notebook just a crack, then closed it again. He couldn't bring himself to open it; he couldn't do something like read Zim's journal. It was a private object, one that could not—should not—be viewed by Dib unless he had Zim's permission.

But…curiosity was always one of Dib's personality traits. He would ask Zim first, though, if he could get to Zim without throwing any insults at him. There was something weird about Zim actually having a journal. Sighing, Dib began to unpack his bags. This was going to take one long, long time to get used to.

Dib pulled out his homework and CD player as he sat down on Zim's bed. He blinked as he realized it was almost as soft as his own bed, but that didn't matter much. He needed to get his math homework done. Graph books were going to be collected tomorrow.

"Dib, what are you doing?" Zim asked as he walked into his room, a perplexed expression crossing his features.

Dib looked up at Zim just as he was placing his Nickelback CD into his CD player. "I'm about to do my homework. Mrs. Albers is being a bitch again, loading my class with tons of shit I can't even begin to understand," Dib responded distractedly, placing his headphones on his ears.

"What kind of shit?" Zim asked, looking at the textbook thrown in front of Dib. "This should be easy for a 'smart' human like yourself," Zim continued with a smirk.

"Math is not my strong point, space-boy. So do you mind? I'm trying to understand this…"

"Would you mind if I tried to help you for once?"

The question went unheard since Dib turned up the volume to his CD player, unable to hear Zim. Zim sighed and shook his head. "How could he sit there and listen to that?" Zim mumbled as he walked out of his room. He glanced back at Dib and smirked to himself as he watched Dib do his homework. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad for him, after all….

Okay, I'm leaving it off there. The next chapter should be up…Let's say Sunday. Have a nice night, y'all. Don't forget to review, though. ^_^;;