A/N: Just a random thought that came to me in the middle of the night. In the Harry Potter timeline, this is set in the year after the Battle of Hogwarts, but that's not really that important.

EDIT: I previously set this before Shippuden, but I'm considering writing further chapters, and I don't think I can accurately write characters from before Shippuden anymore, so I'd rather change this part than screw up the rest. So Sakura's not whiny and useless anymore, and Akamaru can no longer sit on Kiba's head.

DISCLAIMER: Neither Naruto nor the Potterverse belong to me. I don't really have anything witty to say about what would happen if they did.

The Konoha Eleven had been sent to Hogwarts. Headmistress McGonagall had opted to open Hogwarts to the students this year, despite the ongoing reconstruction. After the Battle of Hogwarts, the castle had sustained incredible damage that extended all the way to the foundation, and as such, its normal protective wards were not up to its usual standards. And so the Konoha Eleven had been employed at Hogwarts, to enroll as students and to provide general protection.

Due to some confusion over the entirely new process of enrolling transfer students and linguistic complications, the shinobi were to be Sorted before the first years, and their houses announced at the Sorting Ceremony.

The eleven shinobi stood in the Headmistress's office, looking at the tattered old hat of Godric Gryffindor. After a brief explanation, McGonagall plunked the hat onto the head of the nearest shinobi, continuing in a random order around the room.

Kiba, Naruto, and Rock Lee were placed in Gryffindor.

Tenten, Sakura, and Hinata went to Ravenclaw.

Shino and Choji were placed in Hufflepuff.

Neji and Ino went to Slytherin.

Which left Shikamaru.

The Sorting Hat spent the most time on him. Hmm. Interesting. You certainly have a lot of potential.. the Hat said into Shikamaru's ear.

Meh, so I've been told. Shikamaru made sort of non-commital sound in his head.

The usual traits that I look for are all pretty even. Namely, you don't care about any of them. Do you have a choice in the matter?

Not really. I don't care which house I'm in.

After ten minutes had passed, the other ninja started talking amongst themselves.

"What do you think is going on?" whispered Sakura.

Ino giggled. "Knowing Shikamaru, he's probably too lazy for all of the stuff McGonagall-sensei said about the houses."

Choji huffed. "I think he'll be in Hufflepuff. He's a great friend, and he's always there to help me out."

"Ne. ne." Naruto butted in. "But Hufflepuffs have to be hard working, right? Shikamaru's the farthest thing from hardworking."

"He can be when he wants to," replied Choji defensively.

"But you have to admit, most of the time he's trying to avoid work," Ino said. "Asuma might be the only person who can get him to train."

"So not Hufflepuff, then." Tenten crossed out Hufflepuff on her mental list.

"What about Gryffindor?" Shino suggested. The group paused as a whole. They all simultaneously made noises of disagreement.

"He's brave," Ino started.

"But not bold," Sakura finished. They grinned at each other.

"Remember Chuunin exams? Forfeiting when he was so close! How ridiculous." Kiba shook his head in disbelief.

"I hate to say it, but I do not believe that Shikamaru-kun's flames of eternal youth have awakened to such an extent." Lee shook his head sadly. Naruto patted his shoulder comfortingly, and the rest of them ignored him.

Tenten crossed out another mental suggestion. "Not Gryffindor, then. Ravenclaw?"

"Ano, I have heard that Shikamaru-kun is exceptionally smart," Lee offered.

"Wait, but how can that be right?" Naruto interjected. "Iruka-sensei was always yelling at us for sleeping in class!"

"That's true, I guess." Sakura tipped her head back in thought. "He's smart, but that's natural. He doesn't actually have any desire to learn."

"You haven't even seen him during training," Ino snickered. She and Choji exchanged glances and chuckled lightly, remembering some past incident.

Tenten counted the crossed out houses. "So that pretty much leaves Slythe- Is he sleeping?"

The other ninja turned around, surprised. Indeed, Shikamaru had closed his eyes and was leaning dangerously to his right. The Hat was still perched on his head, muttering to itself.

Choji laughed. "He's gotten better at sleeping while sitting."

"Probably after Asuma tipped him out of the tree that time," Ino added.

They snickered at that, and Ino and Choji smiled at the nostalgia.

"So Slytherin, right?" Naruto asked.

Tenten nodded. "It's the only one that's left. I guess he's cunning and smart. He definitely showed it in the Chuunin Exam."

"I wouldn't say he's ambitious, though." Sakura said. "Perhaps his only ambition is to avoid doing anything else."

A general murmur of agreement ran around the room. "So what could he be?" asked Tenten in an exasperated tone. "He's too lazy to be in any of the four houses, but he's got qualifications for all of them. How long is this going to take?"

A glance at the clock showed the time to be about twenty minutes since Shikamaru had put on the hat. A large majority of the ninjas sweatdropped.

A sudden huff from the Sorting Hat drew everyone's attention. "You know what," it said to Professor McGonagall, "just make him a teacher."

A/N: So here's my reasoning behind everyone else's houses. If you don't care, then just skip it and please tell me what you think about it!

Naruto: He's pretty much pure Gryffindor. Bold, brave, reckless. Not to mention his quest to bring Sasuke back. Which is pretty much the entire point of his existence at the moment. If that's not loyalty, than I'm a pretty pink princess in a faraway castle.

Sakura: They've mentioned before that she's really smart. Plus she went to Tsunade to learn how to be a medic-nin, so that's desire for knowledge.

Rock Lee: I think he's got the whole Gryffindor bold, brave, and chivalrous down perfectly. Granted, he's also got the hard-working Hufflepuff thing going on too. But from what I've noticed from the books, Gryffindors tend to be more outgoing, while Hufflepuffs are more mellow. I figured His flames of eternal youth would burn better in red and gold.

Tenten: I put her in Ravenclaw because she doesnt seem as into the taijutsu stuff as Rock Lee or Neji. She hasn't really been shown much, but she seems more comfortable when relatively stationary, when her weapons can reach for her. She'd probably be pretty comfortable sitting in a library and reading. While chucking kunais.

Neji: Definitely obsessed with bloodlines, with the whole branch family obsession and all. Not to mention he's got a lot of ambition to become so good even though he know's he's only branch family.

Kiba: Loud, bold, brave. Gryffindor. And definitely loyal. You could say he's as loyal as a dog.

Hinata: Really kinda too soft-spoken for everything else. Plus she created her own special medicine for Naruto, so she's pretty smart.

Shino: Yeah, he's kinda creepy, but he talks a lot about how friends are supposed to act, so I took that as a cue for lots of loyalty.

Choji: Incredibly loyal. To Shikamaru, specifically. He's not really that hard-working, but I think the loyalty he showed when fighting the Sound ninja kinda outweighs that.

Ino: Slytherin wasn't really my first choice for her, but I think it works. She shows a lot of competitiveness and ambition when she and Sakura are fighting for Sasuke. She could probably be really cunning if she wanted to be.

Shikamaru: ehhhhh...

So yeah. Kudos if you actually read all that. Send me a message or leave a review if you disagree with some of the Sortings. I'm curious to see whether or not my viewpoint is accurate. If you don't disagree, review anyway! Thanks for reading!